The Rift
by TheManFromMars
Summary: Somewhere, six ponies defeated a powerful God of Chaos. Elsewhere, six superheroes defeated a powerful God of Chaos. What will happen once their universes begin to clash, or should I say swap? WARNING: I have no idea where I'm going with this. Anything that resembles a plot is purely accidental. CRACK FIC.
1. A Stark Rainbow

**"Where there is discord, may I bring harmony" – Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi**

**CHAPTER ONE**

**A STARK RAINBOW**

A magical rainbow beam shoots towards the skies, it builds momentum, and then plummets back down in the direction of a dragon-shaped creature, the beam run circles around the panicking creature as it hopelessly tries to get way. The colorful beams of light begin to involve the body of its misfortunate victim, slowly turning it into stone, as the poor bastard gives one last look of horror, a look that will be permanently frozen on his new stone prison. Unable to close his eyes, the creature sees himself doomed to forever watch the world he would never be a part of. Unable to move. Unable to die. Unable to scream.

'Twas the merciless, cold embrace of friendship.

"Alright! We did it!" cheerfully claims the purple unicorn, the leader of the bunch. Her name was Twilight Sparkle, she was the dedicated pupil of Princess Celestia, the supreme sovereign ruler of the land of Equestria who, despite that, still called herself a princess, not a queen as to not aggravate Princess Luna, her sister, whose inferiority complex already caused her to go full psycho once.

Luna was cured by the same thing that petrified the doomed creature: the Elements of Harmony, six magic jewels that were able solve any kind of problem no matter what. From curing personality disorders to imprisoning omnipotent gods, the Elements have always presented illogical, variable, unpredictable, but still, constantly satisfactory results. The Elements, however, could only work on three conditions: 1) They have to be used together; 2) They have to be used by ponies that embody the particular element they're wearing; and 3) Whoever they are, they need to be true friends, as the Elements are powered by friendship.

Twilight didn't always believe in the power of friendship, in fact, she used to have disdain for all forms of social interaction and an irrational aversion in being called a friend like she was some kind of "friendophobic". Because of that, Princess Celestia sent her to Ponyville against her will, so she would make friends and save the world. Also, being a happier pony, but that was secondary. Ever since then, Twilight writes weekly friendship reports to the princess, telling her of all the valuable lessons she learned that week. Stuff like: "Never judge a book by its cover", "Listen to your friends", "Chew with your mouth shut", and other things that everypony else already learned in kindergarten, but not her, thanks to her socially reclusive and emotionally unhealthy upbringing. She handles it pretty well, though.

The young Ms. Sparkle turns back to look at her friends, the same ones that she made on her first day in Ponyville just in time to stop Nightmare Moon, friends who just happen to be an exact number of six, two of each pony class, and being embodiments of the Elements of Harmony. You call it contrived coincidence, we call it fate! There they were:

Applejack. An Earth Pony. The hard-working farm girl. She's the Element of Honesty, because she's a shitty liar.

Fluttershy. A Pegasus. The delicate, shy animal lover. She's the Element of Kindness, because she's always gentle, loving, and friendly to all animals and ponies, except when she isn't.

Pinkie Pie. The other Earth Pony. The Happy-Go-Lucky Gal. She's the Element of Laughter, because that's a thing. She's not crazy, she's just happy. And she can warp reality at random.

Rarity. A Unicorn. The classy, "looks matter" fashion lover, high-class aspirant. She's the Element of Generosity, because writers think it's clever to challenge other's preconceived notions about attributes they normally associate with shallowness and superficiality.

Rainbow Dash. The other Pegasus. The Jock Girl. She's the Element of Loyalty, because she's extremely loyal to her friends, her princess, and her ego.

And, finally, her, Twilight Sparkle. The other Unicorn. The studious bookworm. She's the Element of Magic, because everything else was taken.

Twilight was lucky to have such wonderful and archetypal friends.

"Yay! We defeated the big meanie!" Pinkie Pie said, gleefully "You know what this calls for? A party!"

"Easy there, sugar cube!" Applejack replied "Discord turned this whole town upside down…"

"Literally" Rainbow Dash remarked

"…we need to make sure that everything is in order before we do anything else"

"Applejack is right! We need to split up and check the whole area from the main square to the Sweet Apple Acres" said Twilight "You find anything strange, you call the others. Okay Rarity I think you should start with—"

"Twilight! Twilight!" Spike the Dragon yelled, carrying a letter in one of his hands. Spike was a dragon that was hatched from his egg by Twilight herself when she was a little filly and, since then, has always been at her side, helping her with anything that she needed. Twilight has never considered him a friend though, because if she had, then she would already know what friendship feels like years before she got to Ponyville, and Princess Celestia's whole point in sending her there would be moot. "Twilight! The Princess sent another… _ugh_… letter congratulating you for… _ugh_… defeating Discord. _I think I'm gonna throw up…"_

"Wow! The news spread fast!" Twilight said taking the letter off of Spike's hand using her magic. She quickly reads over the letter that the Princess wrote from the comfort and security of her castle, the same place from where she sent back all the friendship reports that Twilight have send her (which probably caused severe damage on Spike's health. They need an alternate form of communication) so Twilight would remember what she was fighting for.

Even though the Elements of Harmony were no longer, well, _in harmony_ with her, you would assume that Princess Celestia, one of the most powerful ponies alive, would try to be physically beside her favorite pupil to give support in that time of crisis, but she was too busy doing princess stuff like arranging a boring formal party that she hates, dealing with a pest problem in Fillydelphia, and other stuff that are clearly more important and deserving of attention than a vengeful, malicious and all-powerful entity that is hellbent in bring chaos and misery to everything and everypony in its path.

"Girls, Princess Celestia is inviting us for a 'Thank You' ceremony in our homage!"

"We are going to Canterlot?" Rarity asked "I can't believe it! That's wonderful!"

"But… We've just been in Canterlot this morning…" Fluttershy remarks

"So?"

"Uh… Twilight?" Rainbow Dash interrupts "My necklace was supposed to be pulsing like this?"

Twilight and the other ponies turn their attention to Dash's necklace, the one which held her Element of Loyalty which just happened to have the exact same shape as her Cutie Mark (a symbolic image that appears on the flank of every pony as soon as they find their reason of being) just like all the other Elements had the exact same shape as the Cutie Marks of their owners, because magic.

The lightning-shaped red gem was glowing on and off like a red alert sign "Huh… I don't think that—" was all Twilight was able to say before a blinding burst of red light emanated from the jewel. The red light completely took over the city, before receding back to the necklace and disappearing like nothing happened.

"Wow…" said Pinkie Pie "Do it again!"

"What in darnation was that?" asked Applejack

"I don't know…" Twilight said, rubbing her eyes "We may ask Princess Celestia tomorrow. Are you alright, Rainbow Dash?"

"Yeah… I guess…" Dash answered, dizzy

"You know… You can sit the search out and rest if you want to…"

"Are you kidding?" said Dash "I completely abandoned you guys earlier on the maze! You all had to put up with a lot more than I did today, and you're all probably a lot more tired than I am, so no, there's no way I'm walking out of this one"

Twilight smiled. It was so good to have the old Rainbow Dash back. "Okay, then. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, you two check the Sweet Apple Acres. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy will check Cloudsdale while Rarity and I check the outskirts near the Everfree Forest. After we all make sure that everything is alright, we meet up here and search the town together for anything strange. Okay? Let's go!"

The six friends searched the vicinities thoroughly for anything strange and/or chaotic. Once they were sure everything was the way it should be, they met at Sugar Cube Corner to celebrate and restore their energies. After eating, Rainbow Dash wished everypony a goodnight and flew to a soft, fluffy cloud for a good night of sleep. Today was a tough day and Celestia knows how tomorrow's gonna be, so Dash closes her eyes waiting for the wonders that dreamland will bring her…

"_Good morning, sir"_

"Just a few more minutes…" Rainbow Dash mumbles, rolling in bed "Wait!" she says, suddenly awake "Who's there?"

"_Very funny, sir"_ the voice answers _"Taking the physical and mental exhaustion caused by yesterday's battle into consideration, I decided to delay your wakeup call for two hours. Have I made the right decision?"_

"What? I… Who are you? Where are you?" Dash takes a look around the room she finds herself in: a wide white bedroom that seemed fancy, but empty. One of the walls was made of glass and through it she could see the many unbelievably tall and dull-colored buildings of an enormous city. Everything seemed disturbingly alien, cold, and soulless. "Where am I?" she shouts, placing her hooves on her head "Where in Celestia's name am I?!" Dash was suddenly aware of two things: One, her voice didn't sound like her voice, in fact, it sounded rather masculine, and Two, her hooves didn't feel like her hooves. They were not blue, but a pale pink and had five meaty sticks coming out of each. She freaked out. "What happened to me?! What's going on?!"

"_I see…" _the voice says _"I should have delayed it for three hours, then."_

"Where are you?" Dash shouts angrily at the ceiling "Show yourself, you coward, and say what you have done to me!"

"_Quite frankly, sir, I'm beginning to get worried" _the voice answered _"I'm calling Ms. Potts"_

"And I'm supposed to be afraid of that?" Dash replied defiantly.

But there was no answer. The sudden silence made dash uneasy (more uneasy, that is). She nervously scanned the room, expecting a ninja to sneak upon her for a surprise attack. Her eyes rested upon the large door in front of her. She ponders if she should open it, try to make a run of it. She looks both sides before taking the first step…

The door opens. From it, enters some… thing. It stood on two very tall legs, was very skinny, had small eyes, two freakishly long arms, and its mane was orange-blonde. The thing spoke:

"Tony, what's wrong? Jarvis said—"

"Argh! What kind of hideous creature are you?" Dash shouts, horrified.

The thing took a step back, clearly offended. "Tony, that's not funny!"

"_I'm afraid he's not joking, Ms. Potts" _the voice said _"I've made some preliminary checks on Mr. Stark's brainwaves and they do not fit"_

"What do you mean, Jarvis?"

"Jarvis? Have you just called it by name?" Dash says "So, you're allied with the ghost, huh? Well, you two are never gonna get me alive!" Dash hops in the air, trying to fly, but falls and faceplants on the floor. "What the—? My wings! What have you monsters done to my wings?!" she cries.

"Jarvis, can you produce an anti-psychotic?" Potts asks the voice.

"_On it, Ms. Potts"_

"Who you're calling psychotic?" Dash protested while Potts tried to hold her steady "Take your filthy hooves off of me!"

"Jarvis! Hurry!"

"_It's ready Ms. Potts" _Jarvis said as a case with a syringe slid off the wall. Ms. Potts grabbed the syringe, ready to administrate it on Dash "This is for your own good, Tony"

"No! Stop! Stay away!" Dash cried as the needle hit her vein "Somepony help! Twilight! Applejack! Flutrblghr…." She mumbled as the medicine took effect. And Rainbow Dash doze off back to slumberland.

* * *

**MARVEL FUN FACTS:**

**Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S. was the codename of the S.H.I.E.L.D./NASA joint facility for the study of the Tesseract and "Dark Energy". The "PROJECT PEGASUS" name can also be seen branded on the side of one of Howard Stark's crates that Tony receives in **_**Iron Man 2**_**.**

**P.E.G.A.S.U.S. stands for P**otential **E**nergy **G**roup: **A**lternate **S**ources, **U**nited **S**tates**.**

**Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S. debuted in _Marvel Two-In-One _#42 in August, 1978**


	2. Pony Stark

**"Terrible dream. You, Mary, Gladstone, and I were on a restaurant. That satanic pony was there as well, a massive fork in his hoof and he turned on me!" – Robert Downey Jr., _Sherlock Holmes – A Game of Shadows_, 2011**

**CHAPTER TWO**

**PONY STARK**

RAWR!

"What the hell!" the billionaire in a metal suit screamed, waking up from his near-permanent slumber "What just happened? Please, tell me nobody kissed me"

His name was Tony Stark. He's also known as Iron Man as named by a reporter who was a big fan of Black Sabbath. Tony Stark used to be a self-centered, billionaire weapons dealer until he was captured by terrorists and escaped with a suit of armor. Then he became a self-centered, billionaire superhero patrolling the world on his super-suit which would be like if Bill Gates one day decided to pilot a Megazord and stop petty thieves. Ever since coming back from Afghanistan, Tony swore to never build weapons again, and then he started to build weapons again, but for his own use only, because second amendment, motherfucker!

Despite being a civilian with enough firepower to level a small country, the government (mostly) left him alone. I mean, it's not like Tony has an army of those things on his basement that he can control by remote. Now, _that _would require some accountability.

The reason why Tony almost died was because he had to guide a missile (probably signed 'Fuck You, New York. Love, Hollywood') away from the city and towards the mothership of invading aliens who wanted to enslave everyone. It was a wild weekend.

Tony takes a second to look at the men surrounding him. His fellow fighters who helped him defeat the bad guys. There they were:

Thor. The God of Thunder, which sounds impressive until you realize that thunder is nothing but sound, which makes him the God of Loud Noises. Thor was the prince of the faraway (and by faraway, we mean on the other side of the universe) realm of Asgard. Thor was shocked to discover that his beloved little brother, Loki, had turned evil and would try to bring the end of everything that exists, even though anyone with a little knowledge of mythology already knew that for, like, the last 2000 years.

Bruce Banner. The Hulk. The giant green guy that woke him up. A brilliant scientist who got in an accident that cursed him to turn into an uncontrollable hulking beast of rage every time he got angry, or horny, or any time his heart rate peaked, or when he tried to commit suicide, and then anytime he wanted, and sometimes when he didn't want, and then the beast wasn't that much uncontrollable anymore. You think this is inconsistent? Well, did you know that in the original comics he turned into the Hulk every night like a fucking werewolf? And then there was some shit with alien rays that stuck him into Hulk mode, but susceptible to mind control by an average teenager? Then he only would become the Hulk if he bathed himself into Gamma rays again and then once more to turn back into Banner, and THEN the whole angry thing finally came along TWO YEARS after the Hulk debuted! But still then, if the Hulk got too angry he would turn back into Banner! So, yeah.

When he's not a monster, Banner is Tony's bestie (Don't tell Rhodey).

Steve Rogers. The living legend, Captain America. A scrawny kid from the 40's who turned into a war hero thanks to the purity of his heart and some steroids. Steve was deemed dead at the end of the war but was actually frozen in the Arctic Circle. 70 years later he was thawed out and sent to fight aliens with monsters, flying metal men and Gods, because that wouldn't damage his psyche at all. No, really, it didn't. Everyone he knew was dead, his old morals and ideals were considered antiquated, the world was 70 years ahead of him, and then the world was attacked (and defended) by shit that even modern men was having trouble understanding, but he didn't even seen that much bothered about any of it. He's probably a psychopath. Definitely a virgin. He also smells of patriotism and retirement homes.

Together they were strong. Together they were the Fantastic Four! But then Black Widow and Hawkeye joined the gang pushing up the number of heroes from four to six. So, now they are the Avengers.

Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow. Former Russian spy, master of manipulation, and ridiculously out of her league under the current situation. She joined the group to resolve personal issues, and also, you know, "Sausage Fest", "Girl Power", that kind of crap. (Nobody ever complains about the lack of male members on an all-female group though. Double-standard sexists!) She did close the portal which killed all the aliens, so there's that.

Clint Barton. Hawkeye. An agent of SHIELD who's really, really, _really _good with a bow. He joined the group to redeem himself and get revenge over Loki for brainwashing him. Plus, no matter how obsolete and impractical into a war situation it may be, archery is cool in anyone's book. Tony has no idea where Clint is now. He's probably dead. They can mourn him later.

The Avengers were brought together by Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD. Nick Fury wears an eye patch after his left eye was "clawed" off by a Canadian whose name we can't mention because of film rights.

It was at moments like this, surrounded by a giant Gamma monster, a mythological God, a guy who survived being frozen for 70 years, and the corpses of giant, floating space snakes near a building who opened a portal to another dimension powered by a never-ending, perpetual motion energy source, while being watched by a spy agency on a invisible, flying air carrier, that Tony Stark realized that science should be crying right now.

"We won" Steve Rogers said

"All right, yay! Hurray. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I want to try it"

"We're not finished yet" said Thor, referring to his loser brother.

"And then shawarma after" Tony insisted

"Uh… Stark?" Steve asked unsure "Is everything okay with your Arc Reactor?"

"Why?" Tony looks down and sees his chest piece flickering repeatedly "Damn it, Steve! What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Steve protested, and before Tony could argue further, his arc reactor shot a Unibeam of blue light towards the sky that blinded the other Avengers. For a moment, Tony could swear that he saw another beam of red light coming from the heavens and colliding with his beam of blue light. And then red became blue and blue became red. But everything was so fast, sudden, and bright, that Stark's brain couldn't process it properly, and with a blink of the eye it was over.

"Oh, wow! That was intense!" Stark said after a moment "Okay, guys, now that we are all properly freaked out, it would be a good time for someone to help me stand before I make another hole in the ozone layer"

"What's the ozone layer?" Thor whispered to Steve who just shrugged and proceeded to help Tony stand up.

"Okay, now" Tony says "Where is the God of Hissy Fits?"

_"If I'm not mistaken, Big Guy cemented him in your apartment's floor, Stark"_ said an almost breathless voice by the radio

"Barton! You're alive!" Stark answered

_"What do you mean 'I'm alive'?"_

"Nothing. Can you get to the Stark Tower?"

_"Sure…"_

"What about you, 'Natashalie'? Do you copy?"

_"I'm on the tower's roof with Selvig"_ Natasha answered

"Oh, yeah, Selvig. I forgot about him. Let him rest there for a moment, get a tan. Meet us on my apartment. We have a God to arrest"

A few minutes later, all the Avengers assembled on Tony's apartment, watching as the God of Lies pathetically crawls out of his hole towards the bar, completely unaware of their presence. One has to assume that being repeatedly smashed in the ground by the Hulk would do nasty things to your hearing.

Loki was the cause of all that trouble. Sure, he had his Freudian reasons, but they were just as childish and petty as alternate dimension's Dr. Doofenshmirtz who turned evil because of his lost "Choo-Choo"… Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about? Well, you see, there's this animated movie based on the Phineas & Ferb cartoon where an alternate version of Dr. Doofenshmirtz tries to conquer the Earth by shooting a beam from the top of a building which opens a portal to another dimension for his evil army to pass through… Oh, never mind! Forget I brought it up.

Finally noticing their presence, Loki turns around to face his defeaters "If it's all the same to you" he says, with a faint smile "I'll have that drink now" Tony couldn't help but smile.

After, the Avengers delivered Loki safely to the Helicarrier to be dealt with later, Tony made another call to his girlfriend, Pepper, who, this time, picked up. After their usual banter and Tony assuring her that he's okay, Pepper told him that she should be arriving tomorrow morning, and that they have a lot of mess to clean up. Then they finally had shawarma.

During their bonding supper, Natasha and Clint sat quietly together, eating their snacks, because they totally don't have a thing going on, Steve almost fell asleep on his plate, and Tony kept pestering Thor with questions about how much of what he read on Mythology books was true, like did Loki really convince him to dress up as a bride and pretend to be Freya so he could retrieve his hammer, among other things, all while Banner, now back to normal, did his best to not fall out laughing.

After their dinner, Tony invited all the Avengers to spend the night at Stark Tower, which they accepted. After making sure that all his new friends were comfortable on their rooms, Stark collapsed in his bed, exhausted. Today was a long day, tomorrow will be just as long, so Tony closed his eyes, hoping to be woken up by a kiss from Pepper…

_Who opened the window?_

Stark feels a cold breeze hit his skin, he tries to cover himself up, but can't find his blanket. He doesn't remember his bed being so fluffy either. He opens his eyes and is shocked to see nothing but blue sky. _What happened to my walls? And my ceiling? __What happened to my bed?!_ Stark realizes that he's standing on a cloud, but… that's impossible! You can't _****__stand _on a cloud!

"What the fuck?" Stark says, now realizing that his voice sounds girly "What the fuck?" he repeats.

He looks at his hands. They're not hands! They're stumps! Why are they blue? Where are his fingers? Are… are these hooves?! WHY ARE THEY BLUE?! Why does everything look so Technicolor and two-dimensional? _What's going on?_

Calm down, Stark, calm down. Think, there's gotta be a rational explanation for all of this… Okay, theory number one: I'm high.

"There you are, Rainbow Dash!"

Stark looks down from his cloud and sees a pink pony waving at him.

"Oh, hello there, figment of my imagination" Stark greeted back "What's a 'Rainbow Dash'? Sounds like some kind of cleaning product" Stark wonders if he sniffed Rainbow Dash by accident and that's why he's tripping.

"What?" the pink pony seemed confused, but then smiled again "That's your name, silly!"

"Of course it is" Stark says with a sigh

"C'mon down" the pink pony bounces in the air "The girls are waiting for us at the library!"

"And how do you suggest I get down from here?"

"Huh? Well, you just fly... like always"

"I just fly like always…" Stark repeats, rolling his eyes. Well, it wouldn't be a true fever dream without a flying sequence now, would it? "Okay then, here I go!" Stark jumps from the cloud…

…and falls straight down, screaming.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" the pony asks Stark as he tries to get up from the little depression his body formed in the ground. Well, that crosses out dreaming, as the fall would have woken him up. The 'Sniffed Rainbow Dash' theory still stands though. "Why didn't you flap your wings?"

"I have wings?" Stark looks at the sides of his new body and notices a pair of wings "I have wings… Of course I have wings…"

"Dashie, are you feeling okay?" the pink pony seemed worried

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine" Stark said, trying to stand on his two legs "Who are you, anyway?"

"Who am I?!" the pony said, shocked "You-you don't remember? I'm Pinkie Pie!"

"Nice to meet you, Pinkie Pie" Stark says, completely deadpan "I'm Blue Burrito"

"What? NO!" Pinkie Pie cried "Your name is Rainbow Dash! You gotta remember that!"

"No! My name is NOT Rainbow Dash!" Stark shouts at Pinkie "And is not Blue Burrito either. My name is Tony Stark and I had enough of this weirdness!"

Pinkie looks shocked for a moment, but quickly changes into a determined look and starts to push Stark towards the library.

"What are you doing?" Stark tries to resist, but the Earth Pony is too strong for him.

"We're off to see Twilight!" Pinkie said "She'll know what's wrong with you"

"Twilight?" says Stark "Oh, I got it. So, that's what's happening here, huh? I have just crossed over into the Twilight Zone, haven't I?"

"No, not yet…" Pinkie says, and then head butts Stark into the library "NOW we're in 'Twilight's Zone'!"

Stark falls on his back, and takes a look at his surroundings… Pinkie was right… this IS the Twilight Zone.

"Oh, fuck me…" Stark moans as the residents of the library come closer.

* * *

**MARVEL FUN FACTS:**

**There are four known (named) Pegasi in the Main Marvel Universe (Earth-616): Elendil, Aragorn, Valinor, and Brightwind.**

**Elendil was a black stallion owned by British Communist scientist/spy Nathan Garrett who, using his knowledge on the field of genetic engineering, gave him wings. Riding Elendil and armed with a hi-tech lance of his creation, Garrett became the villain Black Knight. After the Black Knight's ultimate defeat at the hands of Iron Man, Elendil ran away and was captured by Victoria Frankenstein, Victor Frankenstein's great-granddaughter. Victoria tried to "cure" Elendil from its mutation, but only mutated him further giving him sharp teeth, talons in the place of hooves, bat-like leather wings, razor-barbed mane, and a dragon-like tail. Renamed Hellhorse, he's now the ride of villain Dreadknight.**

**Dr. Dane Whitman was Garret's American nephew. On his deathbed, Garret made Whitman promise that he would use all his scientific breakthroughs for the good. Whitman used his uncle's genetic manipulation technique to give wings to a white steed he named Aragorn, and became the heroic second Black Knight. Still posing as a villain, he joined the Masters of Evil to serve as a spy for the Avengers. Later, while fighting Enchantress with the Defenders, he was magically exiled to the 12th Century. Brunnhilde the Valkyrie became Aragorn's new owner.**

**Valinor was Whitman's second Pegasus, given to him by Merlin who transported him back to his time. Whitman would eventually reclaim Aragorn while Valinor ended up with the villainous Bloodwraith.**

**Brightwind is the only pure born Pegasus of this list, as the first two were genetic manipulations and Valinor was magically created by Merlin. When the New Mutants were transported to Asgard by the Enchantress, Native-American mutant Danielle Moonstar found herself in Valhalla, where she rescued a lone Pegasus from a group of hunters. The two became psychically bonded with the horse "selecting" her to be his new rider and following her back to Earth. Danielle named him Brightwind.**

**Brightwind was the name of her childhood pony.**

**Elendil debuted in _Tales to Astonish _#52 in February, 1964**

**Aragorn debuted in _Avengers _#48 in January, 1968**

**Valinor debuted in _Hulk Comic (UK) _#1 in March, 1978**

**Brightwind debuted in _New Mutants Special Edition _#1 in December, 1985**


	3. My Little Tony

**CHAPTER THREE**

**MY LITTLE TONY**

Rainbow Dash blinks her eyes, trying to dissipate the numbness of her mind. She tries to move, but her hooves seem to be tied down to a chair.

"Huh…? HELP!" Dash cries

_"Ms. Potts, he's awake"_

Oh, no! Dash was hoping it was all a dream…

"KIDNAPPERS! RAPTORS! HAIRLESS BIPEDAL FREAKS!" Dash shouts angrily at the walls

From a door, Pepper Potts enters the room. She carries a cup with a straw. "Tony… Look, I don't know what's wrong with you, but you're really agitated right now… Here, I brought this for you" She offers the cup to Dash, who looks mistrusting at her, but decides to drink anyway.

Dash quickly turns her head and spits all the drink on the floor "WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?! You're trying to poison me!"

"It's applejack" Pepper said "You asked for it before falling unconscious. I thought…"

"You think I'm stupid?" Dash yells angry "This is not Applejack!"

"Yes, it is" Pepper insists "A brandy made of fermented cider: an applejack!"

"Look, you" Dash says with repulse "I don't know who 'Brandy' is, but this is not Applejack. Applejack is a pony and she's my friend"

"I… I'm sorry, what?" Pepper would be laughing right now if she wasn't so worried.

"I want to know what you've done to me, you witch! Where are my friends?"

"Tony, calm down…"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT! I'M NOT A 'TONY'! I'M A PONY! A PEGASUS! Or at least I was until you turned me into one of you freaks!"

"Tony, please…" Pepper said with tears on her eyes "You are Tony Stark, you are a man, and you are among friends"

"_I'm Rainbow Dash, I'm a Pegasus, and I don't know who you are" _hissed Rainbow Dash on Tony Stark's body, who, from now on, will be called Tony Dash

Pepper shook her head and left the room, crying. Tony Dash couldn't help but feel bad for her, despite all the mistrust and contempt she felt earlier.

"So, let me see if I got this right" said Bruce Banner on the Stark Tower's living room "Tony woke up and tried to attack you and now he's in a containment cell convinced that he's a pony called Rainbow Dash?"

Clint Barton snickered. He's been smiling ever since the beginning of the reunion.

"Exactly" Pepper said "I don't know what to do, he lost his mind"

"He could be suffering from PTSD" suggested Steve

"Well, maybe, but I don't know of any PTSD cases that made the patient think he was a unicorn"

"Pegasus" Pepper corrected "He said he was a Pegasus…"

"Well, whatever it is" Banner continued "it's clear that he needs to talk to a doctor"

"Well, then" Natasha said "Talk to him, Doctor"

Banner looked at Natasha "I'm sorry, but I'm not that kind of doctor…"

"Well, you're not a medic either. That didn't stop you from treating people in India" Natasha remarked

Banner was about to protest, but gave in "Okay, you win. I'll talk to him" He then left the room and went to where Tony was being kept.

"I don't understand" said Thor, who was silent through the entire thing "Is this some kind of Midgardian jest?"

"No, Thor" Pepper answered "I wish it was"

"Hello there"

Tony Dash lifted her head to meet the friendly smile of Bruce Banner.

"Hi" Tony Dash answered with derision

"So, uh, Rainbow Dash, right?" Banner asked, taking a seat in front of Tony Dash

"Who wants to know?"

"Name's Banner. Bruce Banner. I'm a good friend of the guy who used to be you"

"What do you mean 'the guy who used to be me'?"

"Where are you from, Rainbow Dash?" Bruce asked, his eyes down on the Tablet on his hands, searching for something.

"Where I'm from? Equestria, of course"

"Tell me about Equestria" Bruce requested, still looking at his Tablet

"I ain't gonna tell you squat!"

Bruce gives her a quick look, and then goes back to his Tablet "Have you ever heard of New York?"

"What?"

"That's what I thought" Banner mumbles "So, if you ain't gonna tell me about Equestria, maybe you will tell me about your friends like, how was she called, applejuice?"

"Applejack! What have you done to her?! Is she okay?" Tony Dash cries with fear on his/her eyes.

"Does she look like this?" Banner asks, showing her the picture of a pony on his Tablet.

Tony Dash's face gets pale as her eyes widen with horror "Y-you soulless monsters! What have you done to that poor pony?"

"What have we done?" Bruce asks, confused "We didn't do anything. This is just a normal pony"

"_Normal?"_ Tony Dash asks, enraged _"In what twisted world, _would somepony with an atrophied elongated head, small eyes and an empty stare like that be considered _normal? _How could you do something like this? How could anypony be so cruel?" Tony Dash debates herself on the chair, crying.

"Tony! Ton— Rainbow Dash!" Bruce shouts "Rainbow Dash! Calm down! Look, I'm just as confused as you are! We're not in Equestria! We're not in Equestria!"

Tony Dash stops debating herself and looks at Banner.

"We're not in Equestria" Banner continues "You asked in what twisted world that could be considered normal? Well, in **our** twisted world! This is how ponies are here and how they've always been. This is not Equestria. Nobody here ever heard of Equestria just like you never heard of New York. I don't know how this happened, okay? But we lost a friend too and we can only assume he's in Equestria **_in your body_**. We don't wanna hurt 'anypony', okay? We just want to understand what's going on"

"He's kidding. Tell me he's kidding" Pepper says, watching Banner and Dash through the security camera "He doesn't actually believe this, does he?"

_"Actually, Ms. Potts" _Jarvis says _"Under the circumstances, Dr. Banner's theory is quite sound. I've completed the tests. Mr. Stark's brainwaves are not his. Someone else is using Mr. Stark's body"_

"How can that be possible?" Pepper cries

"Honestly, after everything that happened" Steve says "I don't think 'impossible' is a valid word anymore"

"I will free your hands now, okay?" Banner says, untying Tony Dash from the chair "Ain't gonna hurt you…"

"'Hands', huh?" Tony Dash says "Oh, so these must be 'fingers'! Spike has those!" Bruce couldn't help but smile.

But Dash wasn't feeling so cheerful "Spike… Twilight… I'm never gonna see them again…"

"Don't say that!" Banner reprimanded "If there's something I know very well is desperation. Don't ever lose hope. We're gonna find a way"

Tony Dash gives a small smile "You know, I guess you're not a monster like I thought…"

Banner chuckles "If only you knew… There! You're free"

"So" Tony Dash rubs her wrists "What do I do now?"

"Well, you could take a shower" Banner answers with a smile "Bathroom is that way"

"So, Tony is a pony?" Pepper asks Bruce, who have returned to the living room with the others "That's what you're saying?"

"I'm not saying anything" Bruce answers "Whether Rainbow Dash is real or just a fragment of Tony's personality is irrelevant. In the state he was, insisting that he was Tony Stark would have led us nowhere and only made him more hostile"

"And I thought you wasn't a psychiatrist" Clint said

"Psychologist" Banner corrected

"Whatever"

"Anyway, we need to keep humoring him until we get more information" Banner continued "But I have to say: Equestria? Spike? Applejack? The things he said are too oddly specific to be the result of sudden delusions, and he reacted negatively to a picture of a regular pony, which means that his idea of ponies are a little bit different than ours right now. All of this summed to the brainwave data that Jarvis compiled indicate that, as ridiculous as it sounds, Tony has, in fact, changed bodies with an inter-dimensional, intelligent pony"

The room stood silent for a few awkward minutes.

"So, Tony's a pony" Pepper said again "That's what you're saying"

"I miss the 40's" Steve mumbled

Banner was about to answer her, when Jarvis interrupted _"Incoming call from Nick Fury"_

_"Sorry for interrupting your breakfast" _the Director of SHIELD said from the hologram screen on the wall _"But we need to discuss the Loki situation. Where's Stark?"_

"I-I'm afraid he's not here, sir" Banner answered

_"I can see that, Dr. Banner. That's why I asked where he is"_

"That's the problem, sir. I… We're not sure"

Suddenly, the doors of the living room burst open, and from it stepped in a soaked, butt-naked Tony Dash.

"Guys, look!" Tony Dash said "I have another finger in between my legs, but I don't know how to make it move" Dash stopped what she was saying when she saw Nick Fury on the screen "Is that a pirate?"

_"What? No, I'm not a pirate!" _

Blushing, Pepper grabbed Tony Dash by the arm and led her out of the room "Don't they wear clothes where you come from?" Pepper asks, embarrassed.

"Only on special occasions"

"Well, here we _always _wear clothes!"

"Really?" Dash asks, astounded "Rarity would make a fortune here!"

_"What the hell was that?" _Fury asks, as soon as Pepper and Dash left the room _"What's wrong with Stark?"_

"I'm not sure that's Stark"

_"Explain yourself, Doctor"_

"Uh… Well, this will be hard to believe, but… evidence suggests that Tony's brainwaves were swapped with those of an inter-dimensional po…"

"…BEING!" Natasha cuts Banner off "An inter-dimensional being. It may have been caused by the Tesseract, we don't know"

Nick Fury stood silent for a moment as if digesting the information _"Well, find out as soon as possible. Over." _ He says as the transmission ends.

"Roger that" Natasha says with a sigh.

"No, really" Thor says "This **is** a jest, isn't it?"

* * *

**MARVEL FUN FACTS:**

**There is a race of aliens in the Marvel universe called the Kymellians. The Kymellians have a very equine appearance and their planet was destroyed by an energy generator gone wrong. Most Kymellians escaped alive, drifting the cosmos aboard spaceships. One of them, Aelfyre Whitemane, was very interested on Earth and spent most of his time studying it. One day he found out that Earth scientist Dr. James Power was about to test a new generator, the same that destroyed the Kymellians world. Aelfyre flew to Earth to warn them, but crash landed. He was found mortally wounded by the four Power kids Alex, Julie, Jack, and Kate. He warned them about the "Snarks", a malicious alien race, enemies of the Kymellians, who wanted to use the generator as a weapon. He also transferred his powers to the kids, like Kymellians are able to do before they die, turning the kids into the Power Pack. After the kids defeated the "Snarks" and rescued their father who was kidnapped, they were visited by Byrel Whitemane, Aelfyre's father, who symbolically "adopted" them as his grandchildren. Kofi Whitemane, Aelfyre's cousin, would meet with the Pack and join their adventures every now and then.**

**The Whitemane clan debuted in _Power Pack _#1 in August, 1984. Kofi debuted in _Power Pack _#15 in October, 1985**


	4. Animosity Is Science

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**ANIMOSITY IS SCIENCE**

Twilight has never felt so good.

There she was with all her friends (Well, two thirds of all her friends), ready to travel to Canterlot to receive a homage for defeating Discord. After all they went through yesterday, they more than deserved a break. But the important thing is that they were together, back to normal, and their friendship was stronger than ever.

"Hey, Twilight" Spike the Dragon said

"Yes, Spike?" Twilight replied

"When are we gonna remove Discord from our backyard?" Spike points outside the window at the petrified villain half-covered in moss and bird poop.

"Oh. Well, I'm sure that Princess Celestia will be sending somepony to take it back to the Canterlot Gardens when our chariots arrive"

"Speaking of which" Rarity chimes in "Where are the girls? I, I mean, _we_ don't want to be late"

"I'm sure Rainbow Dash and Pinkie will be arriving very soon…"

As if on cue, the door of the library suddenly bursts open which sends Fluttershy hiding behind a table "NOW we're in 'Twilight's Zone'!" Pinkie shouts as Tony Stark in Rainbow Dash's body (Rainbow Stark) falls in the floor.

"Oh, fuck me" he says as the surprised ponies approach them.

"Pinkie, what is wrong with—?"

"Twilight!" Pinkie shouts "You gotta help! Rainbow Dash doesn't remember me! She doesn't remember how to fly! She fell from the clouds, and hit her head! Now she thinks her name is Pony Spark! I tried to say it isn't, but she won't listen!"

"Calm down, Pinkie, calm down" Twilight says "Rainbow Dash, are you alright?"

Stark looks at the purple unicorn, studying her face for a few seconds before answering

"I'm swell" Stark said with a smirk "What about you, Juniper Lee?"

"Juniper Lee?" Twilight asks confused

"See?" Pinkie says

"Rainbow Dash, you don't remember me?" Twilight asks "It's me, Twilight Sparkle"

"Twilight Sparkle? Really?" Stark asks with a chuckle "Is that because your body glows in the sun like Robert Pattinson's?"

"What?"

"Look, you are all very cute, but I really need to wake up and go home now" Stark says "So, if I may…"

"You ain't going anywhere" Pinkie blocked the door "Twi! Do something!"

"Rainbow Dash!" Applejack shouted "I'm sure you think this is all very funny, but we don't have time for your jokes! The Princess' chariots will be here any minute to pick us up, so we need to be ready and that goes for you too!"

"Cute, you remind me of Pepper" Rainbow Stark said "You even have her freckles! I'm gonna call you Pepper Jr."

"Rainbow Dash is acting really weird" Fluttershy tells Twilight "Do you think she's still under the spell of Discord?"

"I'm not sure…" Twilight says "She's not acting like she did when she was, besides, she's not getting grayer"

"Well, I don't know about grayer, but I definitely got a little gayer" Rainbow Stark says "Will you hallucinations let me go now?"

Twilight frowns "Whatever it is, she's not being herself… Don't worry, girls. I will bring her back" Twilight's horn lights up.

"Whoa! …the hell?" Stark says, surprised, as Twilight touch his chest with her horn.

After a little twinkle, Twilight lifts her head, smiling "Now, you remember"

Stark looks both ways "Ooookaaaay…. I remember what?"

Twilight looks confused "I… but… Let me try again" Twilight touches Stark with her horn again, and then stares at him, waiting for a reaction.

"Are you done?" Stark asks, bored

"I don't understand!" Twilight says "This usually works!"

"Hmm. Déjà vu" Stark says "Look, I would love to quip about your performance issues, but I already did that to another guy and I don't like to recycle material"

Twilight looks frustrated until she gets an idea. Using her magic, she teleports all her reports over Stark's head "Hey, how did you…?"

"Read this!" Twilight tells him "When I forgot about how wonderful my friends were, Princess Celestia sent me these to remind me. It will do the same to you"

Stark shots her an annoyed look. Is this how his subconscious looks like? He's disappointed. Finally, he shrugs and read the letters.

"So" Twilight asks when he finishes reading the last one "Got anything?"

"Yeah, diabetes" Stark says "Look, I don't know who you are, but…"

"ARGH!" Twilight screams frustrated "I'm Twilight Sparkle! I live here in the library, because I'm very studious! That's Pinkie Pie, she's upbeat and parties a lot! Applejack works at the Sweet Apple Acres! Rarity makes dresses! Fluttershy takes care of the animals! And YOU are Rainbow Dash! Likes to fly, likes to compete, likes to win! WE'RE BEST FRIENDS!" Twilight puffs "You… Do you remember any of that?"

Rainbow Stark stares at her for a few seconds, before rubbing his temple "Oh, fuck… there's no way I'm making this up… This is real… _Unreal… _Look, I… I don't know how to say this, but… No. I don't remember any of that. Because there's nothing to remember. I'm not who you think I am. I'm not Rainbow Stash"

"Rainbow Dash!" Applejack yells

"Yeah, that" Stark replies

"I told ya already. This is no time for ya pranks!"

"I'm serious!" says Stark "I have no idea what happened or what's going on, but yesterday I was a man who went to bed on his penthouse, today I woke up as blue, winged horse on a cloud. There are so many things wrong with that last part that my brain is still processing it. I'm not your friend. I may look like her, but I'm not her. As a matter of fact, I'm not even a _her_, I'm a _him_"

"So, your name really is Pony Spark?" Pinkie asked

"No, my name is not _Pony Spark_"

"But you said your name was Pony Spark" Pinkie replies, suspicious

"No, I didn't, _Tinkie Tie_"

"Is this possible?" Rarity asks Twilight

"I don't know" Twilight answers lifting some random book off the shelves "There may be something about body exchanges somewhere around here, but I don't know. I've never heard about anything like this outside of Pony Tales."

"Couldn't you use the Elements to bring her back?" Spike asks

"Hey, what are you supposed to be?" Rainbow Stark asks Spike, noticing him for the very first time

"I'm a dragon"

"A dragon?" Stark asks "So… shouldn't you be, like, trying to eat them or something?"

"What?! No!" Spike says, shocked "I don't eat ponies, I eat gems"

"I'm very tempted to go back to my 'I'm high' theory right now" Stark says, more to himself than anything else.

"We can't use the Elements, Spike" Twilight answers him "We need everypony for them to work, and Rainbow Dash's not here, so her element won't…! HER ELEMENT!"

All the ponies and Stark turn their heads to Twilight. "Her Element! Of course, how could I be so stupid? That red burst of light of yesterday... That is the cause of this!"

Stark now remembers yesterday's Unibeam and how it seemed to collide with a 'red burst of light'. Things are starting to make sense… kind of…

"The Elements can do that?" Fluttershy asks

"I don't know" Twilight answers, quite frustrated. She hated not knowing things, and today was surpassing her quota of 'un-knowledge', and it wasn't even noon! "Let's be honest, nopony really knows exactly what the Elements can or can't do… except, maybe… Spike! Take note"

Spike diligently grabbed his pen and paper, ready to transcribe Twilight's letter.

"Oh, so you're like her secretary, or something?" Stark asks Spike

"Spike does everything I ask him" Twilight answers "He writes my letters, he cleans the library, he organizes the books, and he makes sure that everything that was needed to be done was done" Spike gives a look of proud satisfaction

"Oh, so he's your Jarvis" Stark says, turning to Spike who doesn't look so proud anymore "I'm gonna call you Jarvis Jr."

"What's with ya callin' everypony 'Junior'?" Applejack asks

"That's right! I forgot about you, Pepper Jr.! Now I just need a Rhodey Jr. and a Happy Jr. and the whole gang will be here"

"Oh, oh" Pinkie says, waving her hoof around "I wanna be Happy Jr.!"

"Sorry, but you're too happy to be Happy" Stark answers

"Aw…" Pinkie moans

"And by the way" Stark says to Applejack "I'm not calling every pony 'Jr.', you're the only pony I have called that. He's a dragon"

"Yeah, but… we use 'pony' for everypony 'round here" Applejack explains

"Really? Don't you think that's a little racist?"

"What's 'racist'?"

"_As I was saying_" Twilight interrupts, irritated "Spike, take note: 'Dear Princess Celestia, I'm sorry to inform you that the celebration you generously arranged on our behalf will need to be postponed. Rainbow Dash is not being herself, and we suspect it may have something to do with her Element. Do you know anything about the Elements that could allow a pony to become somepony or some_thing _else? If not, do you know if anything else could do it? We will try to solve everything regardless of your reply. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.' That's it, Spike. You can send it" Spike nods, rolls the letter, and burns it with his breath.

"You wrote all that just to burn it? Why? She didn't pay you this month?"

"This is how we deliver letters to Princess Celestia. She must be reading it right now" Twilight explains

Stark blinks. He opens his mouth and then closes it. He opens it again, and then closes again. Finally he says "So… We're just gonna wait now?"

"Uh… yes"

"Sorry, no offense, I'm sure Princess Bubblegum is a very wise monarch, but I don't take backseats. I'm a proactive kind of guy" Stark says

"But we can't do anything!" Twilight said "We don't know anything about the Elements"

"**I **know everything about elements" Stark said smugly "I created one in my garage. I'm a genius, did I forgot to mention that?"

"Oh, really?" Twilight says, unimpressed "So, I guess the **_genius_** here would know what the six Elements of Harmony are, right?"

Rainbow Stark's face loses its smugness "Uh… yeah, of course… the six… Elements of Harmony? Yeah, uh… Air, Fire, Water, Earth, Heart and... the Element of Surprise?"

"No" now it was Twilight's turn to look smug "Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity…"

"…Abstinence and Civic Duty. Got it"

"…**_Laughter and Magic_**_!_" Twilight concludes, irritated "Now, I hope the 'genius' won't mind, but I'll wait the reply of somepony who actually knows what she's talking about"

"'Laughter and Magic'? We had a guy who did magic and liked to laugh back in my world, harmony wasn't his thing"

Before Twilight could answer, Spike burps Princess Celestia's reply.

"Yuck!" Rainbow Stark says, disgusted "You're gonna touch that?"

Twilight just shoots him an annoyed look before reading "'To my dedicated student Twilight Sparkle, I'm sorry to hear about your problems, but I'm afraid I don't know about any spells that would allow such a thing. If the Elements of Harmony really caused one of your friends to turn into somepony else, it's unprecedented and there's little I can help with. However, I deeply believe that my favorite pupil will find a solution like you always did. Princess Celestia'"

"In short: 'Fuck you, you're on your own'" Stark quips "Look, I know I don't know much about the 'Elements of Harmony', but trust me, I'm a fast learner. I can help you and I want to solve this as much as you do. Do you have any kind of space that could serve as a workshop, you know, someplace with computers, microscopes, or anything that was made after the 17th century?"

"Twi has some fancy looking machines on the basement" Pinkie says

"Great! But I will still need some materials… Excuse me" Stark says, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. He starts to write but stops, looking at his hoof "I'm holding a pen… with a hoof… no fingers… You know what? I'm not gonna question it" He goes back to his list, checking twice to see if he didn't miss anything.

"I need to use your fax" Stark said, moving towards Spike

"My what?" Twilight asked

"How do you input the address on this thing?" Stark asks while pressing Spike's face

"Hey! Quit it!" Spike says, annoyed

"Your fax is broken" Stark tells Twilight

"MY NAME IS NOT FAX!" Spike yells

"Shut up, Jarvis Jr." Stark says "Do you have any post office on this town? You know, mail? That doesn't involve magic fire?"

"You want a tour?" Pinkie asks, excited "I wanna do it! I wanna do it! Let me do it"

"Great idea, Pinkie" Twilight says, looking for any excuse to get rid of whoever was inside Rainbow Dash for just a few minutes "You may escort… uh…"

"Stark. Tony Stark"

"…_Stark _through Ponyville. Show her, sorry, him everything, and help him with his list, mail, and… well, whatever"

"That will be so much fun!" Pinkie hops with glee "Follow me, Pony Stark"

"After you, Tinkie Pie"

"What a rude little…" Applejack says, after the two ponies left the library "Ya know, he kind of reminds me of a snob cousin of mine from the Orange side of the family who lives in Manehattan. His name was Mandarin, I think. I betcha he and Stark would get along really well"

"I'm sorry, girls" Twilight says "It seems we won't be going to Canterlot any time soon"

"We understand, dear" Rarity says "Let's hope we'll find a way to bring Dash back"

The ponies give their goodbyes to Twilight and go back to their homes. Twilight and Spike search through all the books of the library for something, anything that could help them understand what exactly is going on and what they should do. The research proves fruitless as Spike grows tired and Twilight frustrated. They barely noticed that three hours had passed and that Pinkie and Stark were just arriving back to the library.

"…but that was before the pickle sandwich exploded" Pinkie tells Stark "And that was how Equestria was made"

"You lost me after flying competition in Cloudsdale" Stark replies

"Oh, hi Twi" Pinkie says, looking at the piles of books covering the floor "Redecorating?"

"Let me guess" Stark says "You didn't found anything"

"No" Twilight confesses "What about you?"

"Well, after Cotton Candy Hair here took me all over the place, I managed to find a hardware store. They didn't have everything, this being middleagesville…"

"_Pony_ville" Pinkie corrected

"…well, as I was saying…" Stark tries to continue, but a grey, winged pony flies past him, colliding against the library wall, holding a big box.

"You got mail!" Derpy says

"Well, that was fast. Color me impressed" Stark says

Twilight takes the box from Derpy who flies away "Wow, that's heavy!"

"Yeah, that's for me" Rainbow Stark says, grabbing the box

"Excuse me" Twilight says, holding the other side of the box "But this is addressed to me, see? '**To: T.S.**'"

"Yes, 'To **T**ony** S**tark'" Stark says, pulling the box to him

"No. To **T**wilight **S**parkle!" Twilight says, pulling the box back to her

"Tony Stark!" Stark pulls the box

"Twilight Sparkle!" Twilight pulls back

"_Tony Stark!_"

"_Twilight Sparkle!_"

"TONY STARK!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"Tony Starkle! Twilight Spark! Tara Strong!" Pinkie cheerfully chimed in

"Look, _Stark_" Twilight said, irritated "It doesn't matter how you're called back where you're from. _Here_, you're not '**TS**'. _Here, _you're '**RD**'"

"Yeah, RD **_Junior_**" Spike says with a smirk

Rainbow Stark shoots a 'Really?' look to Spike before turning to Twilight "Look, _Sparkle._ It doesn't matter how I'm called anywhere. This is for me. I ordered it to be delivered here from the hardware store. It's my tools, see?" Stark opens the box, showing an assortment of lab tools.

"Oh… uh, sorry" Twilight says, embarrassed.

"It's okay" Stark says "You're paying for it, after all"

"WHAT?!"

"I told them to put in your tab. I don't have any money here, and I deduced you'd have plenty since you're close friends with the royalty" Stark explains, carrying his box towards the basement "Besides, I will pay you back if you ever visit my dimension. I'm rich, fid I forgot to mention that?"

Twilight just looks incredulously at the audacity, as Rainbow Stark carries the box down the basement.

"Also, I would like if you, Mushu, and the rest of the Care Bears would meet me down here in two hours if possible" Stark shouts down from the basement.

Twilight sighs. This will be a long day.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Just watched Iron Man 3. Twice.  
**

**I know he's become quite controversial, but, personally, I LOVED Trevor Slattery. Those who watched the movie will know who I'm talking about.**

**Also, Gary needs Tony. Stan Lee beauty pageant judge. _"We're connected". _Hot Pepper (figurativelly _and _litearally).**

**Stay after the credits for Not That Kind of Doctor.**


	5. FIJSWDUY

**Watching MLP with my mother. Here's her official statement about Blueblood:  
**

**"What a faggot!"**

**I love my mom.**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**FRIENDSHIP IS JUST SCIENCE WE DON'T UNDERSTAND YET  
**

CRASH!

"Sorry, sorry" Tony Dash frantically apologizes after dropping, and breaking, the fourth cup that morning "I'm still getting used to these" she says, waving her hands and smiling awkwardly.

"It's okay… uh… Rainbow" Pepper said. She had to admit, it was kind of cute seeing Tony acting so clumsy, awkward and embarrassed. It was like seeing an entirely new side of him, an adorable side.

"Call me Dash. All my friends do" Tony Dash said, smiling while eating a sandwich "By the way, sorry for calling you a hideous creature earlier"

"Don't worry about it" Pepper said, picking the broken cup up from the floor "You were under a lot of stress. I can only imagine how strange all of this is for you"

"Yeah, it is pretty strange" Tony Dash said, with a little sad tone on her voice "Like, this whole world is strange. Even the names! I mean, what kind of name is Bruce? You're the only one here with a normal name, Pepper"

Potts almost said that Pepper is just a nickname and her real name is Virginia, but she didn't want to destroy the only connection whoever was inside Tony had with his home. "Is that why you decided to stay here with me, rather than in the living room with the rest of the guys?"

"Well, not really" Dash said with a chuckle "I just felt more comfortable staying around another girl, no offense to your friend Natasha"

Pepper almost dropped the cup again "You're a girl?!"

"Uh… Yeah" Tony Dash answers "You didn't know?"

_Tony is inside a girl's body! Oh, shit! I hope he didn't…_

_Snap out of it, Pepper. He's not in a girl's body. He is in a **horse **girl's body. Tony wouldn't…_

_Oh, yes, he would!_

_NO, HE WOULDN'T! Dear God, Pepper! Stop thinking about this! Even if it was a human girl, Tony is not like that anymore. He wouldn't…_

_BULLSHIT! The flesh is weak!_

_Goddamn it, Pepper! Don't you have any faith in him?_

_Of course I have faith in him, but…_

"Pepper? Are you okay?" Dash asks her, worried.

"Uh, what?" Pepper says "Oh, yeah, I'm okay. I just got lost in thoughts for a second… Just out of curiosity, how old are you?"

Before Dash could answer, Jarvis interrupted _"Ms. Potts, there is a crowd of reporters on the lobby demanding an interview with Mr. Stark and the Avengers. I'm afraid I can't stall them much longer"_

"Oh, right" Pepper said "I'll be down there in a minute, Jarvis"

"Okay, for real" Dash says, slightly shaking "Of all the strange things here, this voice just freaks me out! Who is he? Why is he hiding in the ceiling?"

"_I'm **J**ust **A R**ather **V**ery **I**ntelligent **S**ystem, Ms. Dash"_ Jarvis answered _"You can call me Jarvis. Mr. Stark created me"_

"Created you?"

"Jarvis is a computer" Pepper says "He runs the house"

Dash just looks confused at Pepper for a few seconds before laughing out loud "Ha ha ha! You almost got me there for a second"

"What's so funny?" Pepper asks, smiling herself

"C'mon! Computers are just machines with blinking lights that make 'beep boop' sounds" Dash says "They can't speak or think"

_"It depends of your definition of 'think', but Mr. Stark did a great job programming my personality, if I say so myself" _Jarvis says

"I'm sorry, Dash, but it's true: Jarvis **_is_** a computer" Pepper says "A very advanced one. There's nothing quite like him in the world and, it seems, there isn't anything like him in your world too"

"You're serious? He's a…? Wait… Oh, wow! My mind is blown!" Dash says "This is amazing! Your friend Tony created him? He's a genius! I bet he and Twilight are hitting it off"

While it's true that Stark had hit it off with a genius in purple, his name wasn't Twilight, his name was Bruce Banner, and, right now, he was brainstorming with the other Avengers for a way to bring his friend back.

"You can't have the Tesseract" Thor tells Bruce "I came here to stop its misusing by mortals. If you tinker with it, it will only cause more trouble"

"Thor, please, be reasonable" Bruce pleads "We can't let Tony trapped in an alien dimension. The cube is our only lead"

"You want to open another portal with it!" Thor insists "After all the trouble we've had to close it. I'm profoundly sorry Banner, but I won't allow it!"

"Thor" Steve said "We're not gonna let the Chitauri invade again. We're just gonna try to find Stark. If anything goes wrong, we have the means to close it now, remember?"

"Even if I agreed to it" Thor says, a little more open to the idea "How you're gonna reach him? Banner knows nothing of the workings of the Tesseract"

"True" Banner says "But I know someone who may have an idea"

"Intelligent sharks… Pirates…" Erik Selvig mumbled, soundly asleep on his designated room on the Stark Tower "Mathematician janitor… Dragon tattoos…"

"Dr. Selvig?" a voice came from outside the room, knocking on the door "Are you awake?"

"Glasshouse… Uh, what?" Selvig mumbles, waking up "Yes, yes, I'm awake. What time is it?"

"Dr. Selvig, I'm sorry to wake you like that, but we need your help" Bruce Banner says, entering the room "A lot happened this morning that we need to bring you up to speed, and it's gonna be hard to believe"

"Dr. Banner, please" Selvig said with a smile "After all we went through, is there really anything that could surprise me?"

"You have no idea" Bruce simply says

Still cleaning a few crumbs from her lips and beard (it was so weird to have a beard), Tony Dash entered the living room to meet the other 'people', as they called themselves.

"Hi, guys" they all looked at her, except for Steve who just turned his eyes away, uneasy. Thor had a look of confusion on his face; Natasha, of suspicion, and Clint was smirking. Dash was really feeling like an outsider (what she was) "so, uh… where's Bruce?"

"He went to talk with a friend who may help you" Natasha said "Where's Pepper?"

"She went to talk with some reporters who wanted to interview you" Dash answered "What's the deal with that, by the way? You guys are famous?"

"Yeah, kind of" Clint answered "We just saved the world yesterday, no biggie"

"No way!" Dash said "I did the same thing!"

Everyone in the room suddenly turn their heads to Dash, a quizzical look on their faces.

"You did?" Clint asks, surprised

"Yeah, and it wasn't even the first time" Dash says with a cocky smile, but then she scratches the back of her neck with a thoughtful look "But… we didn't have reporters wanting to interview us… in neither of the occasions. I mean, they did throw a party for us… Well, actually the first party wasn't for us, it was for Luna. And I don't know how the second party went since I got stuck here. Now that I think about it, nopony seems to care or even talk about how we saved the world afterwards…"

"Well, welcome to the world of ungrateful citizens" Clint laughed "There are a lot of people out there that think we are a menace and are trying to pin the blame of what happened in us"

"There are?" Thor asked, completely oblivious

"Really? Oh, my" Dash said "I don't think anypony would ever try to blame us for what Discord did"

"Lucky you" Natasha says

"We don't do this to receive thanks" Steve said with a serious tone in his voice "We do it because it's the right thing to do. And we'll keep doing it, even if the entire world turn their back to us, we'll never turn our backs to them"

"Oh, wow" Dash says, a little embarrassed

"Spoke with true nobility, my friend" Thor complimented Steve

"I hate to admit it, but the captain is right" Clint sighs "I joined SHIELD to make a difference. If I wanted recognition I would stay in the circus rather than become an undercover agent"

The doors of the room open, and Bruce Banner steps in followed by Erik Selvig.

"Oh, Rainbow Dash" Bruce says "You're here. That's good"

"That's him?" Selvig points at Dash, unsure

"I'm a her, actually"

Again, all the people in the room look at her.

"Seriously, nopony knows that?" Dash asks, annoyed

"You're a girl? Ha Ha Ha!" Clint laughs

"What's so funny about being a girl, huh?" Dash asks Clint, angry

"Nothing, nothing" Clint says, drying his tears "Tony Stark being a girl is hilarious, though"

Dash looked around and saw both Natasha and Steve trying to hide a smile. Thor looked as confused as ever. Selvig gave Bruce a worried look "You're sure he's not suffering from PTSD?"

"We're sure" Banner said "It's fantastic, but it's true"

"You know" Selvig says "If you had told me this a year ago, I would have send you to an asylum, but today… today, I'm not even sure what should be considered 'fantastic' anymore"

"It's a brave new world, Doctor" Natasha says

"Tell me about it" Selvig sighs

"Doctor? So, you're the one who can help me. You're gonna cure me?" Dash asks

"I'm… not really that kind of doctor…" Selvig answers "But, yes, I believe we may find a way to turn you back. Now, where's the Tesseract?" he asks Thor

"It's secure in my chambers" Thor answers "Are you sure you can handle it, Selvig?"

"Thor, it has been a long time since I was ever sure of anything"

"Hey, I just got an idea" Dash says suddenly "Why don't we just use the Elements of Harmony and everything goes back to normal?"

"The what?" Bruce asks

"The Elements of Harmony!" Dash says "You know, the ones that solve everything"

"I'm afraid we don't have these here, Rainbow" Bruce says

"Yes, you do" Tony Dash insisted, lifting her shirt "Your friend Tony has one, see?"

"Uh… Look, Rainbow Dash, I don't know what you think 'Elements of Harmony' are" Bruce says "but that's just Tony's arc reactor"

"Arc reactor?"

"Wait!" Steve says "Yesterday, Tony's reactor shot a beam to the skies! You remember that, don't you Thor?"

"Yes. Yes, I do"

"Do you think that may have something to do with it?" Steve asks Bruce and Selvig

"Couldn't it be just a malfunction on the suit?"

"No, no, no, no. Wait" Dash says "I remember! Yesterday, my Element, like, just blew up with light!"

"Well…" Steve says turning to Bruce "What about that?"

"Well, it seem we have a mirror event" Bruce says "Still doesn't explain what happened though"

"Howard Stark's notes about the Tesseract shows that he was trying to reverse-engineer the cube" Natasha says "He came up with the theory, but couldn't put it in practice. Tony could, though. He created a new element based on the Tesseract to replace the Palladium on his arc reactor. So, we have a connection between the cube and Tony's chest piece"

"And Tony passing through the portal may have activated something on the element on his reactor" Bruce completes the train of thought "Yeah, that makes sense. What do you think, Dr. Selvig?"

"Hey, you said you didn't have elements here!" Dash says, suspicious

"I think it's time we inaugurate the Stark Tower R&D department" Selvig says "Thor, bring the Tesseract. We meet downstairs"

"Jarvis, tell Pepper where we are and to meet us when she comes back" Bruce says

"_As you wish, Dr. Banner"_

An hour later, Pepper Potts arrives at the lab on the, still unfinished, R&D department. Everyone was there, including Tony Dash who was sitting on a table, shirtless.

"Is everything okay? Jarvis said…"

"Don't worry, Pepper" Bruce said "We were just checking the reactor to see if everything is good to go. We haven't started yet"

"Started what?"

"They're gonna connect me to that thing" Dash says pointing to the Tesseract

"What?" Pepper says "Is that safe?"

"Define safe" Selvig says "We're kind out of our comfort zone here"

"But… why?"

"We have reasons to believe that the Tesseract and Tony's arc reactor made some kind of connection yesterday which caused the brain swap" Bruce explains "We believe that recreating the connection will send Rainbow Dash back and bring Tony back. That is, if Stark really is on Rainbow Dash's body…"

"What do you mean?" Pepper asks

"Well, we can't discard the possibility that there is a third party involved, or even more than that. While Rainbow Dash got in Tony's body, Tony may not be in Equestria but in a third unknown dimension, and whoever he replaced could be in a **_fourth_** dimension and so forth. It's a coin toss. We can't be sure that this will revert anything. It may bring someone else here, while sending Rainbow Dash to yet another strange body. The possibilities are…" Banner stops when he notices the looks of dread on both Pepper and Dash's faces "I mean, the probabilities of that happening are flimsy… You know what, forget it. It's not gonna happen. I shouldn't have mentioned it, I was stupid, sorry. Everything is gonna be fine, you will see. Now, Rainbow, sit on this chair"

Tony Dash sits on the chair, while Drs. Selvig and Banner connect cables to her reactor and to the machine holding the cube. Pepper holds her hand "Be strong, Dash"

"Remember" Selvig tells Natasha while turning on the machine "If anything goes wrong, activate the 'fail safe'" Natasha, who's holding Loki's scepter, gives a nod.

"This could hurt" Banner warns "Ready?"

Afraid, Tony Dash tightens her grip on Pepper's hand. Pepper puts her other hand on top of Tony Dash's, caressing it. Dash looks at Pepper and gives a small smile of gratitude. Pepper feels an impulse to lean forward and kiss Tony, but she remembers it isn't him and she doesn't want Rainbow Dash to feel weird. Oh, Tony. She can only imagine how he feels, wherever he is. He must be just as frightened and confused as Dash is right now…

* * *

_"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together" _Rainbow Stark sang, while adjusting his science equipment "God, why I can't take this stupid song off of my head?"

"I don't think it's stupid" Twilight says, climbing down the stairs to the basement "I really like it"

"Oh, hi, Lisa Simpson" Stark greets her "What brings you down here?"

"Just checking on you" Twilight answered "Is everything okay here?"

"Yeah, this isn't the Stark Industries R&D department, but it'll do" Stark says "By the way, your computers are really obsolete, but then again, I'm surprised you even have computers here"

"And what do you know about computers?" Twilight asks him with a raised eyebrow

"Uh, let me see, everything" Stark says nonchalantly "I build them for a living. Well, not really. It's more like a hobby. I don't need to do anything for a living, being a billionaire and all that"

Twilight rolls her eyes. She knows she shouldn't judge a book by its cover, her friendship with Zecora taught her that, but this Stark guy sounds more and more like he's full of hot air. _I'm a genius. I'm rich. I've created an element all by myself. I have a company named after me._ All talk that he, so conveniently, can't prove. She doubts he's really all that. As far as she's concerned, he's another Trixie just buying time, hoping nopony will catch his act. Still, there's a slight chance that he maybe, possibly, perhaps, almost knows what he's doing, and even if he doesn't, he's the only lead she has right now. "So, what are you doing?"

"Just testing my stuff" Stark says, looking through a microscope "I need to be sure everything is perfect, so I can analyze your elements of stupidity and see if I can find what caused the mind swap and how to revert it. Easy-Peasy"

"And what are those?" Twilight points to some papers full of writings and drawings.

"That's what I need your friends for" Stark answers, grabbing the notes before Twilight has a chance to look closer "Don't look. It's personal"

"Personal? How can it be personal?" Twilight asks, suspicious "Are you trying to hide something from me? Because, if there's something you know about Rainbow Dash's fate that you're not telling me…"

"This is not about your friend. It's… it's a side project"

"A SIDE PROJECT?!" Twilight yells "You're should be focused on bringing Rainbow Dash back, not in wasting our time running errands for your _side project_!"

"Hey, calm down" Stark says "It's just something to protect me, **_us_** in case anything goes wrong. Think of it as a contingency plan"

"And what is this 'contingency plan'?"

"Well… it's uh… it's a suit"

"A suit?" Twilight asks, puzzled "How's a suit gonna help us?"

"Well, you see…" Stark starts but a loud screech makes him stop and cower behind the table "The Chitauri! They're back!"

"Owlowicious!" Twilight yells "You shouldn't be here! Go back upstairs!"

Stark raises his head to see a brown owl, flying back towards the stairs "What did you call that beast?" Stark has never been really fond of animals

"Owlowicious. He's my pet"

"You have a pet owl. Why I'm not surprised?" Stark says "Let me guess, the other one of you who can do magic has a cat"

"Yes, that's right!" Twilight answered, impressed "Rarity does have a cat. How did you know?"

"I've watched the Harry Potter movies" Stark answered "She didn't strike me as someone who would own a rat or a toad, so..."

"Who's 'Hairy Potter'?" Twilight asks

"Harry Potter? Oh, he's just the greatest authority in magic in my universe. Millions read his books to gather more knowledge about the subject" Stark says "He's so special, his Cutie Mark is on his forehead"

"You're being sarcastic, aren't you?" Twilight asks, annoyed

"Who, me? Never"

"THERE! Sarcasm again!"

"Can we come down now?" Applejack's voice come from upstairs

"What?" Stark says, looking at the clock on the wall "They're here already? I said two hours, not 25 minutes!"

"Well, I called them as soon as you came down here" Twilight says "But if you need more time, I'll tell them to come later"

"Nah, send them in. The earlier the better"

"Okay, girls, you may come down" Twilight shouts "You too, Spike"

Soon, the four ponies and the dragon were down in the basement with Twilight and Rainbow Stark, and so was a bunny that the yellow one brought with her for some reason.

"Citizens of Candyland" Stark says mimicking a mayoral announcement "We are here today to help the honorable Mr. Stark in his quest to return home and bring our beloved Sonic the Hedgepony back to us. For that, the fantastic Mr. Stark will need you to do some shit for him, so—"

"Wait" Applejack interrupts "Ya want us to do stuff for you?"

"Yep"

"Like what?"

"Oh, you know, stuff" Stark says "I was about to get there, but them you had to interrupt my announcement…"

"Why would we help ya?" Applejack asks

"Applejack!" Twilight says, shocked by her friend's behavior. Applejack never refused help to nopony. There's something about Stark that really ticked her off.

"No, Twilight, I mean it" Applejack says "This Stark fella just comes out of nowhere, steals Rainbow Dash from us, insults everypony, all while talking about how _fantastic_ he is. Why should we trust him? Why should we do what he says?"

"Because I'm the only hope you have to ever see your girlfriend back, Dixie Pony" Stark says "Now, could you shut up and let me finish?"

"Well, you'll hardly get any help with that attitude" Rarity says

"Look, I know you all don't like me, and I don't give a damn. Just keep in mind that the faster you do what I say, the faster you will get rid of me, and the faster you'll have your friend Lightning McQueen back. First, Daisy Duke" Stark says to Applejack "Here's a list of tools you can find in any farm, so you probably won't have any problem getting them on yours. You can read, right?"

Applejack just takes the list off of Stark's hooves, an angry look on her face.

"Okay, then. Now, Doctor Dolittle" he says, turning to Fluttershy "I need some raw materials, like iron, gold, or any other malleable metal. It's possible that there is a mine of it near your home. Use your vermin army to help you find it"

"D-do I actually have to _enter_ the mine?" Fluttershy asked, slightly afraid

Stark turns to Rarity. "Okay, I want two things from you, Coco Chanel. First, Sugar Rush here told me you have some kind of gem detector on your horn. If you can adjust it to find metal, you could help Shrinking Violet on her quest. Second, here's an armor design I made. But, it was designed for my old body. Since you have so much experience tailoring for ponies, do you think you could, well, _adapt_ this design for my new body?"

"Of course" Rarity says, grabbing the design that Rainbow Stark made "But… what do you need a suit of armor for?"

_What do I need a suit of armor for? _Stark froze. What does he need his suit of armor for? Because, taking that away, what is he? What can he do? Stark wouldn't admit it, but he's scared. He's been scared ever since those _things_ arrived on New York. He barely slept yesterday to wake up on this fucked up world. Truth is, Stark has suspicions that he just had a meltdown and he's now in a mental hospital and all this is part of what's left of his mind. He's doing his best to not simply break down and cry, and that's why he needs the suit. Without it he's defenseless, without it he's nothing. And no matter how harmless and innocent this place may seem to be, he won't be caught unarmed. Pepper needs him. Pepper?! What if something happened to her? While he's stuck here in teletubby land? He can't protect her! _IneedtodosomethingIneedtogetoutofhereohdearGod IneedmyarmorIneedJarvisIneedPepperIneedhelpIneed…_

"Are you okay?" Twilight asks

"Uh… W-what?" Stark stutters

"You're sweating…"

"I'm fine, I'm fine" Stark says "What was your question again?"

"Why do you need the armor for?"

"Reasons" Stark answers, feigning indifference "Where was I? Oh, right. Last, but not least: Since they live here and have so much knowledge about magic elements and stuff, Hermione and Spyro here will be my assistants, providing me with books, materials, and, of course, the elements. Okay, everyone got it? Then, shoo!"

Rarity and Applejack leave the basement, while Fluttershy goes to talk with Spike and Pinkie Pie waves her hoof around trying to call Stark's attention.

Applejack tries to read her list, but her mind just keeps focused on Stark and how vexing he is. Applejack can't wait until they get rid of him, and get Rainbow Dash back.

Rarity looks at the complex design in her hooves. She has never seen anything like it. Such a maze of joints and circuits and, besides, she's a tailor not a blacksmith. She never made any type of armor. She sews not forges. Still, Rarity wasn't the type of pony who shies away from a challenge. Once she's done, Tony Stark's armor will be absolutely fabulous!

Pinkie keeps hopping and waving her hoof frantically, but nopony seems to be paying attention to her.

"Spike, do you think you could take care of Angel bunny while I search for the mine?" Fluttershy asks Spike "It would be too dangerous for her and I don't want to leave her alone"

"Why did you even bring her here?!" Spike asks "I'm sorry, Fluttershy, but I really, really would rather not"

"Oh… It's okay… If you don't want to…" Fluttershy mumbles

"Yeah, besides Barney the Midget Dinosaur is my assistant, so he wouldn't have time for your bunny" Stark chimes in

Spike takes a look at Rainbow Stark, considering what assisting him would be like compared to taking care of Angel "Wait, Fluttershy, I've changed my mind"

"Oh, that's great!" Fluttershy beamed "Here, Angel, you're gonna be with Spike for a while. Be nice to him" The little bunny gave in a mischievous grin.

"Hey! We have work to do!" Rainbow Stark protested, while Fluttershy left the room and Pinkie Pie kept trying to call his attention.

"Sorry, _Pony Spark_" Spike said, going up the stairs with Angel bunny dancing on his forehead "I'm kinda busy right now… Ouch. Angel, quit it!"

"Don't worry, Stark" Twilight said "I will still be your assistant, and I promise you I will do everything you require to bring Rainbow Dash back"

"Whoopie do" Stark said "What's his deal with that bunny anyway? He seems kinda begrudging to take care of it"

"Spike and Angel don't always get along" Twilight explained

"Yeah, I know that" Rainbow Stark said "But what does 'Buffy, the Vampire Slayer' have to do with this?"

"HEY!" Pinkie finally yells, tired of waving her hoof around

"Yes? What do you want?" Stark asks

"What about me?" Pinkie asks "You gave tasks to everypony but me! What do I do?"

"I don't know" Stark answers Pinkie "Don't you have some musical number to rehearse with Sportacus and the rest of LazyTown?"

Pinkie pauses for a moment, scratching her chin, thoughtful "Not that I remember… I can throw a dance party if that's what you mean"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. As long as you stay out of my way"

"Oki Doki Loki" Pinkie says with a smile

"Yea—WHAT DID YOU SAID?!" Rainbow Stark yells

Both Pinkie Pie and Twilight stare at Stark, shocked.

"What? I—"

"What do you know about Loki?" Stark asks Pinkie, moving towards her, anger and suspicion in his eyes.

"Y-you're scaring me"

"How do you know about Loki? Why did you—This is what's happening here! It's Loki! ENOUGH OF YOUR GAMES! Take me out of here!" Stark screams while shaking Pinkie "Are you hearing me, Loki? You take me out of here or else…"

SLAP!

Rainbow Stark falls back after being hit by a magic slap from Twilight.

"Are you okay, Pinkie?" Twilight asks, worried

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"WHAT IN CELESTIA'S NAME WAS THAT?" Twilight yells at Stark

"Sorry, sorry" Stark apologizes, trying to regain focus "I just, kinda… lost it for a second… It's just that Loki…"

"She always says that! It rhymes with 'Oki' and 'Doki'" Twilight says "It doesn't mean anything!"

"IT MEANS SOMETHING!" Stark yells, but calms down almost instantly "…for me. Something bad…"

"I'm sorry" Pinkie apologizes "I didn't mean to upset you"

"It's okay" Stark says "Loki's illusions aren't this powerful. I just… I'm just really stressed. I don't know what's going on or what the fuck am I doing…"

"What's that?" Pinkie asks

"What's what?"

"That word you keep saying" Pinkie says "_fuck_. What does it mean?"

"You don't know what fuck means?" Stark asks her. Pinkie shakes her head "Well, fuck is… how I'm gonna say it… fuck is an emphasis word. It gives emphasis to words. You know what emphasis means, right? Anyway, you say it whenever you feel like it"

"I feel like saying it all the time!" Pinkie shouts "It's such a funny word. Fuck, heh heh"

Rainbow Stark chuckles "Well, what are you still doing here? Don't you have a party to arrange?"

"You're serious?" Pinkie asks. Stark nods "YAY! You're gonna love it! It's gonna be the best _fucking _party ever!" Pinkie Pie says and hops out of the basement.

Stark smiles. He hates to admit it, but he's growing quite fond of that pink one. He turns to see Twilight smiling at him, a knowing look on her eyes. "What?" he asks

"You're not that bad" Twilight simply says

"Whatever" Stark rebuffs, going back to his 'heartless, indifferent tough guy' façade "You know what's missing here on this table? The world famous Elements of Harmony. Now, go fetch"

Pinkie Pie pranced through the streets, thinking about all the balloons, confetti and cake she would need to make the best party ever! While doing this, she ended up meeting with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Applebloom (Applejack's little sister), Sweetie Belle (Rarity's little sister), and Scootaloo (Nopony's little sister) were the Crusaders, three young fillies who were inseparable friends (and, also, one of each pony class). They first met during Nightmare Moon's attack on Ponyville when they all hid under the same table. But they don't remember that. So, the "official" first time they met was during Diamond Tiara's party, where they rebutted the claims of inferiority for being the only ponies on their class without a Cutie Mark by saying that that meant they were filled with potential and, therefore, SO MUCH MORE special than everypony else who already have their whole lives and skills decided by some stupid mark on their butt. Later, they realized that that was just some bullshit they came up with to feel better about themselves, and decided to dedicate their entire characterizations to pursue a Cutie Mark.

"Hey girls, what the fuck are you doing?" Pinkie asked them, smiling

"Not much. Just going to school" Applebloom answered

"What is 'fuck'?" Sweetie Belle asked

"Oh, it's a new word I learned"

"What does it mean?" asked Scootaloo

"I don't know, but is a cool word, isn't it?" Pinkie said, and then pranced away, singing "_fuck, fuck, what the fuck. Fuck, fuck, what the fuck…_"

The three fillies watched in silence the pink pony bouncing away, before Scootaloo finally spoke "Fuck, huh? What do you think it means?"

"Maybe it's another word for 'buck'?" Sweetie Belle guessed

"You mean, like this?" Scootaloo asked, kicking the air with her back hooves "Yeah… I like to 'fuck'!"

Applebloom repeated the gesture "I like to fuck too!"

"Why, everypony loves to fuck!" Sweetie Belle joined them, kicking the air as well.

"The fucking season is when Applejack fucks all the apple trees on Sweet Apple Acres" Applebloom proceeded to experiment her new word "She fucks them all day long, so she can collect their apples"

"Rainbow Dash could fuck anypony she wanted!" Scootaloo proclaimed

"Diamond Tiara is so annoying" Sweetie Belle said "That, sometimes, I just want to fuck her!"

"You said it!" Scootaloo replied and the three friends fell out laughing.

"Pinkie Pie was right!" Applebloom said "This new word is awesome!"

"It's _fucking _awesome!" said Scootaloo

"Fuck yeah!" Sweetie Belle concluded

Still giggling, the three fillies ran to school, looking forward to teach their new word to all their classmates.

"What is this crap?" Rainbow Stark asks Twilight, after she drops five necklaces and a tiara on Stark's table.

"What do you mean what is this? It's the Elements of Harmony!" Twilight says

"These aren't elements!" Stark protests "These are jewelry!"

"These are the Elements of Harmony" Twilight insisted "Six magic gems that represent all the good aspects of friendship"

Stark just frowns at Twilight "God, I hate this place. I guess I'm not gonna need this then" he says, throwing the microscope off the table

"Is there a problem?"

"Of course there's a problem! I'm a scientist! I deal with facts! Not with _magic gems that represent all the good aspects of friendship_" he mocked "Like any of that abstract bullshit meant anything…"

"Excuse me!" Twilight said, slightly offended "Just you know that these Elements are the base of everything harmonious and good in the world"

"Oh, please. None of this so called 'Elements of Harmony' are a guarantee of anything good" Stark said "There's a reason why **Evil Laughter** is a thing. Magic is just a tool, like science or a knife, all of them can be used for good, and all of them can **definitely **be used for evil. Honesty can be **brutal**. Loyalty can be **blind**. Kindness can be **stupid**. And generosity… Okay, I'll give you generosity"

"That's a very cynical way of looking at things" Twilight says

"Well, excuse me, princess" Stark says "I'm afraid my world is not as colorful as yours"

Twilight sighs "Look, Stark, we both know magic isn't your field of expertise. That's why I'm here. You work on the science stuff; I give you my insight in magic. We're gonna do this" Twilight puts her hoof on his shoulder and gives a confident smile "Together"

Stark looks at her for a few seconds and then also gives a small smile "Okay, let's go to work"

And so they did. As she assisted him, Twilight was having conflicting feelings about this Tony Stark. On one hoof, he seemed to be as smart as he boasted, and it was kind of cool seeing Rainbow Dash working so hard and competently in an intellectual task. On the other hoof, he could be really rude and arrogant, and, as petty as it sounds, Twilight felt kinda bad for no longer being the smartest pony in the room.

Several hours have passed, and Applejack returned to the library's basement carrying a heavy sack on her back.

"I brought ya stupid tools" she says

"Took you long enough" Stark says without taking the eye off of his work "Leave it in a corner. If this works I won't need them, anyway"

Applejack gives him a look of contempt and drops the sack on the floor.

"…or just drop it there. That works too"

Applejack approaches the worktable. In it the six gems containing the Elements were removed from the necklaces and tiara, and positioned in line by hooks under the aim of a little lipstick-shaped device.

"What in darnation is that?"

"This, my dear Flapjack, is the key for the doorway to out of here" Stark explains "If my math is correct, and it always is, when I activate this laser, it will pass through all the gems, triggering and focusing their magic properties on the last element, the one that caused all of this, the Element of Red Lightning"

"The Element of Loyalty" Twilight corrects, annoyed

"Yeah, and then, the centralized energy will open a rift in which I will be able to cross through, and if everything goes as I predict, I'll be back home and you will have your gay parade mascot back. Shall we start?"

"Stark, you can't assume that this will work. The Elements can't be 'forced' to 'turn on'" Twilight says

"Yes, I can assume that" Rainbow Stark insisted "You said yourself that the red burst happened after all your elements' beams got connected. I'm simply recreating the event"

"But the Elements have to be used by us to work" insisted Twilight "They won't react if they're not worn by true friends who embody its characteristics"

"But it wasn't always like that" Stark remarked "You told me yourself: They were first used by your two princess who a) were two ponies, not six; b) probably weren't the embodiment of all the elements of harmony; and c) considering that one of them sent the other to the moon for a thousand years, I would hardly call that relationship friendly and harmonious. If it worked then, it will work now. Now, let's start this" Stark presses a button on the side of the 'lipstick' device which activates a laser beam.

The laser passes through the Element of Magic to the Element of Laughter, and then to the Element of Honesty, and then to the Element of Kindness, and then to the Element of Generosity, and finally, it hits the Element of Loyalty. The gem starts to heat with the concentrated ray of the laser. It pulsates. Applejack steps back, afraid. Twilight eyes widen with disbelief, while Stark smiles with satisfaction and anticipation. The Elements keeps glowing and pulsating, glowing and pulsating, until…

Nothing.

The gem stops glowing, while the machine cools down with a pathetic wheezing sound.

"Nothing?" Stark asks, incredulous "Nothing? Not a spark, not a rift, not even a spectacular kaboom failure? Nothing? **_NOTHING?!_**" Stark screams, enraged and frustrated. This was supposed to work. This was supposed to get him out of here. Fuck these magic elements. He's so angry and desperate he can't even think straight right now.

"I told you, Stark" Twilight says "It's useless. There's nothing in the books that…"

"You know" Stark cuts her off, irritated "that before there were books, there weren't books, right?"

"Yeah, well, duh" Twilight answers

"So, how do you think the books were written? By magic? _Don't answer_" Stark says "People, sorry, _ponies_ needed to write those books, and they didn't have books to know how to do it! They experimented, they discovered new things and they wrote it down. That's how progress is made, that's how science is made, and that's how intelligent people find the solutions to their problems: by thinking, not by reading. But, I don't expect you to understand that"

"Wait a minute!" Applejack chimes in "Are ya trying to say you're more smart than Twilight?"

"_Smarter"_ Rainbow Stark corrected "Yes, I am. But, that's not the point. I think even Hoppity Hoppity out there is more intelligent than her"

"Well, just ya know that Twilight is the smartest, most studious pony I ever knew" Applejack says "She always has the answer. There's almost nothing that she doesn't know" Twilight gives her a look of gratitude.

"Being knowledgeable and studious does not equal being intelligent" Stark says "A guy can read and memorize the entire Guinness' Book of Records, and that would make him knowledgeable and studious, but not intelligent. He may still not know how to do basic math. Someone who's intelligent can solve their problems by basic deduction and logical reasoning. Someone who's intelligent can apply the knowledge they acquired in previous experiences to solve a completely new problem. Someone who's intelligent can adapt to new challenges without help. Someone who's intelligent can think on their own. _Someone who's intelligent doesn't need to read a book to know that a tree that just crashed through her roof and into her slumber party **shouldn't be there!**_"

Twilight gasps with shock "H-how did you…?"

"How did I knew? I don't know. Maybe was those three hours I spent with Yappity Yap when she basically told me the entire history of this place"

"Pinkie?!" Twilight asks "But she wasn't even…"

"She wasn't even there? Oh, my! I wonder how she knew! I mean, it's not like best friends tell each other about what they did that weekend with their other friends, no sir, they never do it" Stark replied, sarcastically "See? That's a deduction that anyone with even an average intelligence could make, but I guess you need a step-by-step instruction book to follow through, don't you?"

"I-I… You…" Twilight stutters before running away, crying

"Look what ya did!" Applejack says angrily

"What? Destroy her little fantasy of intellectual superiority?" Stark replied, indifferent "The world is full of nerds who think they're so smart because they score straight A's in their tests and that they will become the next Steve Jobs, the boss of all the jocks that bullied them, but most of them end up as underpaid accountants in a dead-end job, because they only know what the school taught them, the old knowledge of others, no knowledge of their own, because they can't come up with new ideas thanks to their mediocre and creatively infertile minds. She should thank me for opening her eyes before it was—"

POW!

Rainbow Stark hits the wall, knocked by the strength of the kick Applejack delivered right into his face.

"So, you have the concept of violence here? That's good. This place was getting too sugary for my taste" Stark says, caressing the small, bleeding wound that opened under his right eye "You know, this will leave a scar. On the face of **_your_** friend. My face is still on my dimension, unharmed and handsome as ever"

"You're despicable" Applejack says

"You know what despicable means? I'm honestly surprised"

"Jerk" Applejack says as she leaves the basement

"Whatever!" Stark shouts to nobody "I don't need any of you"

_You don't need them? Really? 'Cause it seemed to me you were kinda stuck with the magic thing until Twilight helped you._

_She didn't help me! All she did was throw up all the information she had read. No ideas. No suggestions. Nothing. I could have got all that just by reading her stupid books. She was as helpful as a fucking Wikipedia article!_

_Why do you do this, Stark? Why do you have to antagonize every single person you meet?_

_She's not a person, she's a pony._

_You always change the subject instead of assuming your own faults, don't you?_

_Whatever._

_Great comeback._

_Why the hell I'm arguing with you? You're me!_

Stark shakes his head. This place is driving him crazy, if he's not crazy already. Why did it have to be magic? He hates magic! It's cheating! It's infuriating! How is he supposed to find the answer, when nothing makes sense, when nothing follows the rules? Fucking magic!

_Magic?_

Magic! That's it! He was doing it all wrong! Even though he hates to say it, science is not the answer here. It's magic. The elements didn't respond to the laser beam, but they will definitely respond to a **_magic_** beam! So, all he needs is a source…

_Too bad you made your magic generator run away crying…_

Aw, crap.

Twilight sobs. With her pride wounded, she just stares at the sunset in the distance. How could things have turned this way? She was so happy this morning. They were going to Canterlot, and there would be a party, and her friends… her friends… she almost lost them yesterday, it was tough, it was painful, they finally got together, everything was fine, everything was good. They were eating, they were laughing. Then, Rainbow Dash gave her goodbyes… and never came back. Instead there's this… this… '_man'_, whatever that is, treating everypony badly, saying all those awful things, and Twilight needs to constantly reminds herself that it's not her, but… seeing 'her' doing those things… hearing those words come from her mouth… it… it hurts!

That's when she hears Rainbow Dash's voice. She almost smiles, before she remembers that that's no longer her voice…

"Twilight looking at the twilight. You know, that's kind of funny"

Twilight doesn't say anything, nor does she turn. She won't give him the satisfaction of an answer.

"Kinda poetic, too… No?" Rainbow Stark continues "Look, I… I need your help"

"_Oh, really?_"

"Yeah, really" Stark says "I think I know what went wrong and I can fix it, but… I need you"

Twilight doesn't say anything.

"Look… I'm sorry, okay?" Stark apologizes "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but… I know nothing about magic. I'm completely, utterly stumped. In that aspect, you're the genius! I need what's in your head. Come help me, please. I'm really sorry I was a jerk"

"And?" Twilight asks without turning

"And? And nothing" Rainbow Stark answers "I already apologized. What do you want? You want me to say that I am a stupid fart face butthead? I'm not doing it. Now, suck it up and come help me"

Twilight just turns her head to shoot him an angry look, and turns back

"Oh, so you're not gonna help me?" Rainbow Stark asks

_"That's a deduction that anypony with even an average intelligence could make" _Twilight bitterly replies

"Very mature" Stark says "Well, if you're not gonna help me, I guess I'm stuck here then"

"I guess you are"

"…and I guess so is your friend, wherever she is" Stark says "It's very clear now why you're the Element of Magic"

"What do you mean?" Twilight asks him, turning her head

"Well, you couldn't be any of the other ones now, could you?" Rainbow Stark says "You promised me you would do anything I required to bring her back. You lied. You're **_dishonest_**. You turn your back to your friend when she most needs you. You're **_disloyal_**. You sentenced her to live in a world she doesn't belong, frightened and lonely, for the rest of her days. You're **_cruel_**. And you did all that because of some petty grudge you have with me. You're **_selfish_**. And, right now, you're also grumpy. Face it, Sparkle. Magic is the only thing you have going for you"

"How dare you?" Twilight says, eyes red with tears and anger

"Dare what? Tell the truth?" Stark provoked "You're a bad friend who doesn't deserve the ones you have. I can tell, I'm the same"

"I'M NOT THE SAME AS YOU!" Twilight shouts "You're a miserable little… You're rude, you're arrogant, you're mean, and it's obvious that you don't have any friends! Nopony could ever be your friend! Nothing you said is true! I always help my friends! I'm a good friend!"

"Then prove it!" Stark shouts back "Use your Element, your magic, and help me save your friend!"

"I WILL!" Twilight shouts and moves towards the library "But I'm doing it for Rainbow Dash, not for you"

"Like I give a shit" Stark says, following her to the library "You're still gonna do what I tell you to" He smiles.

One day, Tony Stark will feel bad for being such a heartless, manipulative bastard. One day, but not today.

"I may only have Magic going for me, but you got **_nothing _**going for you" Twilight says under her breath

As the two frenemies reenter the library, neither paid attention to the fallen stone statue on the yard…

…which was beginning to crack.

* * *

**MARVEL FUN FACTS:  
**

**Doctor Strange**

**Stephen Strange was the best neurosurgeon of his generation, if not the best who has ever lived. He was respected by his coworkers, but not very liked. He was arrogant and cold, treating his patients like objects that needed to be fixed rather than people. Think Dr. House but without a sense of humor. Truth is that Strange would avoid emotional attachments at all cost ever since his little sister, Donna, died drowned and Stephen was unable to save her, and only got worse after he got into a fight with Victor, his brother, over his supposed insensitivity which caused Victor to leave his house furious and unnatentive into the path of a car which put him into a coma for years. This event filled Stephen with guilt making him even more distant and 'afraid' of personal connections.  
**

**Then came the car accident. Strange's hands were crushed and, despite all the efforts, no doctor saw any hope for Strange to keep practicing medicine. Eventually, Strange ended up unemployed, homeless and bankrupt, with no one that would help him because he had no friends, thanks to his fear of emotional attachment and treating everyone like they were below him. This almost drove him to suicide, until he heard rumors about a man known as 'The Ancient One' (real name Yao) who could cure anything using magic. Strange didn't believe in magic, but he was desperate so he took all the money he still had left and went into a journey to find the mysterious man.  
**

**When he finally met him, The Ancient One refused to heal his hands, but said that he would accept Stephen as his pupil to study the mystic arts. Strange was reluctant at first, but accepted as he didn't have anything left. After months of training, the Ancient One told Stephen, his 'loyal disciple' like he liked to call him, that he was chosen as his replacement as the new 'Sorcerer Supreme', the protector of Earth against the forces of Dark Magic.  
**

**Stephen was relocated to New York to reside in the Sanctum Sanctorum (that's Latin for "Holy of Holies", meaning "The Holiest [place/thing/person]"), which was part museum, part library of everything magic. It is also protected with spells to block unwelcomed guests. There Stephen was under the care of Wong, the last of a lineage of servants of the Sorcerer Supreme. Wong cleans the mansion, prepares the food, welcomes the guests, and do basically, everything that Stephen may require. He's a Housekeeper/Secretary/Butler all in one.  
**

**The most important item in the Sanctum Sanctorum's library is the Book of the Vishanti. It holds the most powerful White Magic/Order spells in the world. It can only be used for deffense, and to "fix" the effects of Dark Magic, never for offense. Doctor Strange have used the book many times to stop powerful foes. The book has endless pages (MAGIC!)  
**

**Strange would eventually create a team named The Defenders with the original roster of him, Hulk, Namor, and the Silver Surfer. During one of the new rosters, the team became based at Sanctum Sanctorum with Wong complaining that he had become "a second-rate Jarvis to a second-rate Avengers"**

**A _Doctor Strange_ movie is rumored to be released in 2016 as part of MCU's Phase 3.**

**Oh, another thing. Do you know who was the very first villain that Doctor Strange faced on his very first appearence in comics?**

**His name was Nightmare.**

**Doctor Strange, Wong, The Ancient One, Nightmare, and the Sanctum Sanctorum debuted in _Strange Tales_ #110 in July, 1963.**


	6. Twilight of the Gods

**Author's Note: In case anyone tries to correct me, "stupider" IS a real word. Not very used, but a legitimate word ("stupidest" is also a word, by the way). They have entries on Dictionary websites and my spell-checker doesn't put a squiggly red line under them when I type. There are probably other grammar mistakes in the text, though.**

* * *

**"I need a horse" -** _**Thor, **_**2011**

**CHAPTER SIX**

**TWILIGHT OF THE GODS  
**

"This could hurt. Ready?"

Tony Dash closes her eyes, apprehensive as Dr. Selvig turns on the machine. At first she feels nothing, only hearing a distant heating sound, but suddenly, it happened, a quick shock followed by a burning sensation on her chest. She screams.

"Turn it off!" Pepper yells

"NO!" Dash yells back "I can take it!"

Suddenly, the cables fall off, and the Tesseract makes a direct connection with Tony Dash's reactor as blue sparks fill the room. In the middle of the purely electrical connection, a small rift opens, and it grows, and grows, and grows…

"It's working!" Banner says, before a wave of energy breaks out, almost hits him, and collides with the ceiling, making a hole in it.

"It's out of control!" Steve shouts

"ENOUGH!" Thor says, stepping into the beam "Turn it off n—" is all he got to say before the beam engulfs him, making his whole body flutter.

"Natasha, now!" Selvig screams as Natasha complies.

The machine ceases all activity, stopping the beams and closing the rift. Thor falls on the floor, unconscious. Tony Dash tries to find the strength to get up from the chair.

"Are you okay, Dash?" Pepper asks "…are you Dash?"

"Yeah, I'm okay and yeah, I'm still me, unfortunately" Dash says, caressing her chest "What about your friend?"

The seven approach Thor, who's still on the floor "Thor, are you okay?"

Thor blinks, coming back to his senses "Uh… what?" he looks at the people staring at him. He screams "AAAHHH!"

"AAAHHH!" Tony Dash screams back, as she and the others take a step back, surprised by Thor's outburst

Thor crawls backwards until he hits the opposite wall "Stay back, you-you… things!" he says, fear and confusion in his eyes "I'm warning you!"

"Is… is he pointing his forehead at us?" Clint asks

Thor touches his forehead "W-what happened to my horn? What happened to my _voice?_ What happened to my hooves? WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?!" he cries

"Oh, great. We have another one" Pepper says

"This is embarrassing…" Natasha says, as Thor keeps crying

"Twilight?" Tony Dash asks

Thor lifts his head "Yes? Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"Twilight!" Dash beamed "It's me, Rainbow Dash!"

"Rainbow Dash?" Thor asked, and then gave in a huge smile "Rainbow Dash! I missed you so much!"

"Me too!" Dash says and hugs her friend, Twilight Odinson

Clint regrets not bringing a camera. Thor and Tony Stark, sitting on the floor, hugging each other, their cheeks pressed together with the biggest, goofiest smiles on their faces is something that should be kept for posterity.

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, it was awful. We thought we would never see you again" Twilight Odinson told her friend "There's somepony else on your body now, some guy named Stark, and he…"

"Tony! Is he okay?" Pepper says

Twilight looks at Pepper and cowers a little bit. Tony Dash notices "No, Twilight. Don't worry. They're nice" Dash says "I'll introduce you. Guys, this is Twilight Sparkle. She's a unicorn, my friend, and the smartest pony I know. Twilight, these are Pepper, Bruce, Clint, Natasha, Steve, and Dr. Selvig. They are Tony Stark's friends"

"He has friends?! _Him?!_" Twilight asks Dash

"Yep. She met him alright" Natasha says

Twilight looks at the beings in the room. Tony Stark was right about something: This world is definitely less colorful than Equestria. Everypony here seems to have basically the same skin color. How odd.

"Uh… Sorry, Twilight?" Bruce chimes in "Can you tell us what you remember? How is Stark?"

"Oh, he's _just great_" Twilight says with derision in her voice "All I remember was powering up his stupid device and I woke up here… like this…" she says, looking at her new body

"Yeah, that's Thor" Dash says "You just swapped places with him"

"So, this 'Thor' is in my body, now?" Twilight asks "Back in Ponyville? Is he as bad as Stark?"

"What do you mean?" Dash asks, confused

"Look, Twilight" Pepper says "I know that Tony can be really hard to deal with, and I apologize for anything he may have done or said, but deep inside he's a nice guy and we are really worried about…"

"Wait, wait, wait" Dash interrupts "Is there something about Tony Stark you are hiding for me? Apologize for him? Twilight, what did he do?"

Twilight Odinson looks at Dash with a sad expression "Nothing. It's better to forget it…"

"Twilight…"

"No, Dash" Twilight says "We shouldn't be focusing on him, right now. I need to bring you back to our world"

"Well, the good news are that the machine works, Stark is indeed in Equestria on Rainbow Dash's body, and he seems to be okay" Bruce says to everyone "The bad news are that the portal is unstable, and it only made the things messier, so…"

"I don't understand" said Erik Selvig "It shouldn't be unstable. The iridium was supposed to take care of that"

"Well, we could ask Jarvis to run some tests and see what went…"

"Nopony is gonna do anything until I know what Tony Stark did to my friends!" Dash says, angrily

"Dash, no!" Twilight says "They're trying to help us!"

"But…"

"Dash, please" Twilight says "They almost did it. Let them do what they have to do"

"Well, we can't do anything here" Pepper says "Jarvis' holo-deck wasn't installed here yet. If we want a full diagnosis of what went wrong with the machine we need to go back upstairs"

"Holo-deck?" Twilight asks while they go upstairs "Hey! What are those?"

"Oh, those are 'fingers'" Dash answers "We have twenty-one of them! Ten on the 'hands' (that's our hooves), ten on the 'feet' (that's our _back_ hooves), and one in the middle of our legs. Don't look, though. The 'people' (that's how they called their kind) here are very uncomfortable about being naked for some reason" she finishes as they arrive on the penthouse.

"Amazing!" Twilight gasps at the skyscrapers outside of the penthouse's window "This… this city looks bigger than Canterlot!"

"It's a weird place, isn't it?" Dash says

"How's it going, Jarvis?" Banner asks

"_I've completed the scan, Dr. Banner" _Jarvis said "_I will show a complete holographic breakdown of the process"_

"Who's that?" Twilight asks, confused

Dash chuckles "That's Jarvis, he's a…" before she could finish, Jarvis' holograms invade the room, showcasing an interactive, graphic representation of the machinery, the Tesseract and the reactor "WHOA! That's new!"

Twilight steps forward, fascination on her eyes "Who did this?"

_"That would be me, Ms. Sparkle"_

"You… I don't know who or what you are, but… this is the most impressive display of magic I've ever seen!" Twilight says "Mr. Jarvis, sir, if you won't mind, I would love to study your spells"

_"I'm sorry, Ms. Sparkle" _Jarvis says _"I'm afraid those aren't 'my spells'. Mr. Stark is the one responsible for my abilities"_

"He is?" Twilight says, astounded "But… he said he didn't know anything about magic… He was being modest! He must have felt really bad for hurting my intellectual pride earlier, that he didn't want me to feel left out, so he pretended he needed me when actually he could do this all along. How thoughtful! And here I thought he was just a self-centered, arrogant jerk! I made a horrible misjudgment of his character!" Clint snickers.

"This is not magic, Twilight" Pepper says "It's technology"

"Jarvis is a computer" Dash says "I know, I didn't believe it either"

Twilight looks at them and gives a skeptic laugh "C'mon, this isn't technology. It's too fantastic, even for magic standards. Computers can't do that. It's magic!"

"Stark's computers can" Steve says

"A-are you serious?" Twilight says

"_Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic-_Arthur C. Clarke" Selvig says with a smile

"Well, then, I guess he really is all that…" Twilight says with a sad tone on her voice.

"Twilight… Seriously, what did he do?" Dash asks

"Oh, nothing… He just made me feel stupid, that's all…" Twilight says, bitter

"Twilight, look" Steve says "You probably won't believe this, but I'm over 90 years old. I got frozen 70 years ago. I lost my friends and my place in the world. When I first met Stark you know what he told me?" Twilight shakes her head "He said I was old and that I lost a lot being a Popsicle. He insulted me and mocked the most traumatizing event of my life"

"That's awful!" Twilight said

"What a jerk!" Dash says, not believing what she just heard

"Yeah" Steve says "But that's just how Tony is, he says what he wants disregarding other's emotions. But he's not bad, and he does care, even though he pretends he doesn't. When a close friend of his died trying to protect us, Tony called him an idiot"

"What?" Twilight said

"What's wrong with this guy? How can you be his friends?" Dash asks, confused and angry

Steve makes a hand motion for her to calm down "Tony doesn't believe in sacrifices. He thinks they are unnecessary, that no one should have to do it if there's an alternative. I mistook that philosophy for selfishness, just like you, but the opposite is true: Tony saw too many people, good people, die on his place, trying to protect him. And he feels guilty. He can't stand the thought of people trading their lives for his, so when came his time to make a sacrifice, he didn't even blink. He went through a suicide mission to save us all. He should be dead. It's a miracle that he isn't"

Twilight and Dash just stare at Steve, not knowing what to say.

"I have a condition" Banner says "Under certain circumstances it's dangerous to be around me. Very dangerous. That's why I've been alone for the last six years. Because I was afraid I could hurt people and people were afraid I could hurt them. When I was brought here with the Avengers, because they needed my help, there was only one person that didn't treat me like a monster, one person that didn't think I was a liability, a bomb that would explode in any second. That person was Tony Stark. He was the only one in that entire ship that wasn't afraid of what I could do, and that includes me. He treated me as a friend from the very beginning and I'm grateful, very grateful for that"

"Tony can be really rude, I know, but believe me, when the time comes, he will move mountains to help you" Steve says

"He can move mountains?" Dash asks

"It's a figure of speech"

"I think what they are trying to say" Pepper chimes in "is that is not easy to be Tony's friend, but it is worth it"

Twilight looks at the ground, thinking. Could Stark really be just masquerading his good intentions with rudeness? Why? Why would he do that? But… this 'people'… They seem so loyal to him… they miss him. He has to be somewhat good to warrant this devotion. Twilight thinks of how she was before she went to Ponyville, always avoiding other ponies, finding excuses to not talk to them. Was she like him? She doesn't remember ever being as disrespectful as Stark, but she could have been a little rude sometimes, couldn't she? She remembers how she dismissed everypony who was trying to be her friend on her first day. She never said it on her faces, but she did think they were all crazy or stupid… Is this how Stark saw her? And her friends? Crazy and stupid? Is this some kind of curse that befalls the intelligent? That we all act arrogantly until we change our ways? Until we're proven wrong? Twilight thinks that maybe, just maybe, she should give Tony Stark a second chance…

"I don't get it" Erik Selvig said, analyzing the graphics Jarvis showcased "There's nothing wrong. It should have worked"

"Magic"

"Excuse me?"

"Magic" Twilight Odinson says "Stark hit the same brick wall with his device back in Equestria. Science wasn't working. Magic is the answer"

"Well, in that case we're screwed" Clint says "Because I don't know anyone who can do magic around here. Well, besides Loki"

"Loki?!" Twilight asks, as she remembers how Tony Stark freaked out at the mention of his name _IT MEANS SOMETHING! For me. Something bad _"Who's Loki?"

"Well, technically, he's your brother" Clint says with a smirk

"My brother?" Twilight asks, confused

"Thor's brother" Natasha explains "He's a trickster. He caused a lot of chaos, and he enjoys it"

_'Laughter and Magic'? We had a guy who did magic and liked to laugh back in my world, harmony wasn't his thing_

_It's Loki! ENOUGH OF YOUR GAMES! Take me out of here!_

Twilight sweats a little as she remembers Tony's outbursts. She's almost afraid of making the next question "W-was Loki behind this?"

The room fell silent. Everyone simply trade glances. "I can't believe I didn't think of that…" Banner mumbles

"Of course it was Loki!" Natasha says "Messing with people's minds? This fits his twisted idea of a joke. How come we didn't realize that before?"

"We need to interrogate him" Steve says "Barton, contact Fury. We need to come aboard the Helicarrier"

"Where are we going?" Dash asks

"Uh… I think it would be better if you two stay here"

"What? No way?" Dash protests "If this Low-Key can bring us back home, we're coming with you"

"Yeah" Twilight says "Besides, he's my brother, right? So, wouldn't it be easier if I talked to him?"

"Actually" Barton chimes in "The last time the two brothers had a talk, Loki stabbed him in the gut"

Twilight gulps. Dash's eyes widen with shock "What the hay is wrong with this world?" she shouts

"Too much to count, Rainbow" Banner answers

"Doesn't matter" Twilight says with determination "We're still going"

"Well, in that case, you better bring your hammer" Natasha says "In case things get ugly"

"My hammer?" Twilight asks, confused "What hammer? Why do I need a hammer?"

"Mjolnir" Erik Selvig says "The source of Thor's power. That one over there" Selvig points at a hammer near the wall.

That hammer is huge. That's the first thing that passed through Twilight's head upon seeing Mjolnir. The second was Tony Stark laughing at her for some reason. She shakes her head, and moves towards the hammer. How can a hammer be useful in a time like this? What's so special about it? She grabs the handle. She pulls.

"What the?" Twilight says, trying to lift the hammer to no avail "HNNNG! I-I can't! Is this a prank? This hammer is glued to the floor!"

"Let me try" Dash says

"Don't bother, Rainbow" Bruce says "Only Thor can lift the hammer"

"…and Thor is no longer Thor" Natasha concludes

"Okay, so our resident genius is no longer a genius, and our God is no longer a God" Clint says "Am I the only one worried that our team seems to become more useless by the minute?"

"Wait, how does this work?" Dash asks

"The hammer is enchanted" Erik Selvig explains "Only those worthy of its power can wield it. I guess your friend is unworthy. Just like all of us who aren't Thor"

Twilight bites her lip. Any other day, she would have been fascinated by this enchantment. But, right now, only two words pass through her head. Two words that were spoken by Clint and Selvig…

_Useless_

_Unworthy_

She fights back her tears. Twilight has never felt so… so… so _irrelevant _as she did today. It wasn't enough that Stark insulted her intelligence… _Face it, Sparkle. Magic is the only thing you have going for you._ Now, not even that. She can't do magic. Not anymore, not on this body. But, then, turns out this new body has advantages, it can wield a weapon that is, supposedly, very powerful. So, she could be useful that way. No, wait. She can't. Because she's _unworthy_, which means she's _useless_. Her friends have never faced a challenge as strange as this one, and there's nothing, absolutely nothing she can do to help. _Useless._

"Twilight, are you okay?" Dash asks

"Yeah, yeah. I'm alright" Twilight lies, drying a lone tear from her eyes "Who needs this stupid hammer anyway?"

"You know, Twilight" Steve says "If you wish to sit this one out, you can stay here with Dr. Banner, Selvig, and Pepper. We can handle it for you"

Twilight remembers saying something similar to Rainbow Dash yesterday. Dash refused. She wouldn't let her friends do all the work while she sits back and watches, and Twilight would gain wings before she does the same.

"Stay here and wait? Sorry, but no. I don't take backseats" Twilight echoed Stark "I'm a proactive kind of mare"

"Very well, then" Steve said

A few minutes later, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Dash, and Twilight Odinson were aboard a Quinjet heading towards the SHIELD Helicarrier. Twilight has to admit she's really impressed with this world's technology. Even though she can recognize many similarities between 'man' tech and pony tech, theirs are still decades, if not centuries, ahead of Equestria's. Twilight wonders if all this advance was due to the fact that magic seems so scarce in this world, forcing them to come up with all kinds of contraptions to compensate for it. Necessity is the mother of invention, after all. Twilight also couldn't help but notice that the clouds move on their own here, just like in the Everfree forest. If this behavior is the same in the rest of this planet, it will mean that 'people' never had to worry about changing the weather and the seasons, which is very time-consuming, providing them with more time to dedicate in advancing their science. This world and its science are so fascinating! Twilight wish she could have more time to study it…

"Fasten your seatbelts, people and ponies" Clint says "We're about to land"

Tony Dash and Twilight Odinson look through the window and are astounded by what they see.

"Holy spit!" Dash says

"Okay" Twilight says "There's no way you're gonna convince me that's not magic!"

Outside the window was a huge construction made of metal simply floating in the air. There's no way something that huge and heavy could be sustained in the air like that without magic. It's just impossible! Still, there it was, challenging everything Twilight believes with its mere existence. "Welcome to the Helicarrier, folks" Clint says

"Sir, we're still trying to take down all the Rising Tide videos from the web" Maria Hill, the second-in-command of SHIELD told Nick Fury "But they seem to be counter-attacking with spywares. Our firewalls were able to detect and destroy them before they could cause any damage, but still…"

"Hill" Nick Fury said "I think we have more things to worry about right now than some internet conspiracy theorist"

He barely finished saying that when the Quinjet group arrived at the bridge, with Dash and Twilight looking at everything, bewildered.

"Avengers" Fury addressed them "You contacted me saying that you had some progress with the inter-dimensional brain swap problem. Did you succeed in bringing Stark back?"

"Why is that man wearing an eye-patch?" Twilight asks Dash

"I think he's a pirate" Dash answers

"I'm not a pirate!" Fury says, annoyed "Excuse me, Barton, but I'm not seeing any 'progress' here. In fact, I'm seeing the opposite"

"Actually, sir" Steve intervenes "We now have confirmation of where exactly Tony is, and how to reach him. The only problem is that the process seems to be only worsening rather than reverting. But we may be able to fix it if we can talk to the prisoner"

"Loki?!" Maria Hill chimes in "Are you crazy? Do you really think we'll let you…"

"Hill" Fury interrupts "I can handle this"

Maria looks at Fury with as if to say 'but'. Fury stares back at her. Finally she says, almost begrudgingly "Yes, sir"

"And what do you need Loki for, may I ask?" Fury asks Steve

"Loki is behind this" Natasha says

"We don't know that" Steve corrects "But whether he is or not, it definitely has to do with magic, and Loki is the only with any kind of knowledge on the subject"

"Magic?" Fury asks "And who came with that conclusion? Banner?"

"Actually, that was me… uh, sir"

"Thor?"

"That's… not actually Thor, sir" Clint says

"Oh, right" Fury says "Now we have _two_ inter-dimensional aliens here… in the body of _another _inter-dimensional alien...What was your name, again?"

"My name is Twilight Sparkle, sir" Twilight Odinson said "and this is Rainbow Dash. We are sorry for all this mess and we swear we want to sort it out as much as you do"

Fury stares at Clint "_Twilight Sparkle_ and _Rainbow Dash_? Those names don't sound very alien to me, Agent Barton"

"They are tribal names" Natasha lies "They're from an indigenous society"

"No, we're n-OW!" Tony Dash says, as Natasha kicks her in the ankle

"Twilight is very knowledgeable in magic, sir" Clint says "She says that Stark was trying to open a portal back in their dimension and he only succeeded using magic"

"If he succeeded, why he's not here?" Fury asks

"The portal is unstable" Steve says "We hope Loki may help us with that"

"So, if Pocahontas and Sitting Bull here convince Loki to help them" Fury says "they will be back to Pandora, Thor and Stark will be back to us, and this whole mess will be over?"

"That's the idea" Natasha sighs

"Sir, you're not considering…" Maria Hill says

"Quiet, Hill" Fury says "Okay, I'll give you access to our prisoner, but be warned, if you two try anything funny, you'll be detained for an indefinite time"

"Understood. Thank you, sir" Clint says, as the group moves toward the detention area

"They are hiding something, sir" Maria Hill said after they left

"I know that, Maria"

"You shouldn't have allowed them to go to Loki's cell" Hill continues "They could still be under his spell. Loki may be planning his escape"

"He wouldn't be stupid to make them refer to themselves as _Twilight_ and _Rainbow _if that was the case" Fury says "Still, there's something fishy going on. So, when they convince him to help them, and they will, I want you down there with them to keep an eye in Loki and report everything to me"

"But, sir…"

"That's an order, Hill"

Maria seems like she's going to protest further, but she just swallows "Yes, sir" she says, half-heartedly

"Remember" Natasha tells Twilight and Dash "Loki is very dangerous. Don't get too close to the glass and don't let your guard down"

The five approach the glass cell, in which a defeated man in green sat, his head laid back, staring at the ceiling "Hello, Avengers. Came here to gloat, I presume?"

"That's your department" Steve replies

"We want to know what you did" Natasha says

"Why? Something's wrong? Why do people always assume I did something when something goes wrong?" Loki says with a wry smile "No. I'm afraid I haven't done anything in the past 22 hours"

"Cut the crap, Loki" Natasha says, slightly angrier "We can see your fingerprints all over this mess"

"Why so fierce, Agent Romanoff?" Loki asks with a smile "Your lover was returned unharmed, was he not?"

Natasha shows no reaction, but Clint smiles.

"Uh… Excuse me, Mr. Loki, sir?" Twilight chimes in as Loki looks at her with a raised eyebrow "Did you do anything with the cube or the Elements of Harmony that could have caused an inter-dimensional portal?"

Loki is confused. Why is Thor acting like he doesn't know him? "Did you call me 'mister'?"

"Just answer the question, lame brain" Tony Dash says

"Rainbow Dash!" said Twilight

"What?"

"I… this… what…" Loki stutters "Is this some bizarre and pathetic Midgardian method of interrogation?"

"Loki" Steve says "Did you or did you not program the Tesseract to open a rift?"

"Opening portals are the Tesseract's whole purpose, soldier" Loki answers "I don't need to do anything for it to open a rift... wait… is there another portal?"

"Not exactly" Twilight answers "But there was a rift. And now, my friend, Rainbow Dash, and I ended up trading bodies across dimensions with Tony Stark and your brother"

"You're not my brother"

"Yes, exactly" Twilight says, smiling because Loki seemed to understand "We think, if you help us, we could infuse the cube with magic so to reverse the rift effect and bring your brother back"

"You're not my brother" Loki repeats

"Uh… yeah, we already established that" Twilight replies, unsure "I'm sorry, are you having problems following what I said?"

"Stop insulting my intelligence, Thor. Trickery is not your domain" Loki says "While I'm not surprised you would come up with such pitiful attempt at a gambit, it baffles me that your Midgardian companions would agree to your moronic plan. I thought not even them could be that stupid. _And you're not my brother_"

Twilight is confused. She thought Loki understood, but now he says he doesn't believe her, yet still claims that she's not his brother. What's going on? "I'm sorry, but… How can you not believe I'm Thor and believe I'm Thor at the same time?"

"Don't be dense" Loki says "I know you're Thor. Never said otherwise"

"Okay… my brain hurts…" Twilight says

"This is not a joke, Loki" Steve says "It's true. What would we gain by telling this to you if it wasn't true?"

Loki stops to think. The soldier's words carry the truth. "So, Thor is another person now?"

"I'm a unicorn, actually" Twilight says "We're both ponies"

Loki stares at Twilight for a couple of seconds before laughing out loud. "So, you still don't believe us?" Twilight asks

"No, no. I believe you" Loki says, drying his tears of laughter "You do sound not as dimwitted as Thor"

"Uh… thanks, I guess" Twilight replied, unsure

"And you" Loki addresses Tony Dash "sound slightly stupider than the metal man"

"HEY!" Dash yelled, insulted

"Yes, I believe you" Loki concluded

"So" Natasha asks "You really had nothing to do with this?"

"No" Loki answered "But I wish I did"

"So, you're gonna help us?" Twilight asks

"Why should I?" Loki answers with a soft smile "When this is so entertaining to watch?"

"Oh, yeah? And how you're gonna watch anything trapped in there like a cookie?" Dash says with a cocky smile

Sudden and quickly, Loki gets up from his seat and knocks hard in the glass causing Dash to jump back, surprised.

"I've escaped from a jar like this before, my little pony" Loki hisses "There was someone who was just as confident as you are that I was cornered. You know what happened? I impaled him with my spear and watched as the little worm bled to death"

Dash looks horrified and so does Twilight.

"Step away from the glass" Maria Hill steps into the room, holding a remote control on her hand "or you're gonna be knocked out faster than you can say 'daddy didn't love me'"

Loki complies, moving his hand towards the metal shock collar that Twilight just now noticed he had around his neck.

"Hill? I didn't know you had a sense of humor" Clint says "What are you doing here?"

"Fury sent me to keep an eye on him" Hill says "Also, he ordered me to tell you that we may drop some charges against you if you decide to help them"

Loki laughs "Do you actually think I worry about that? I won't be prosecuted by your mortal courts"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Of course" Loki answers "Thor would never let me be dealt with by mortals. He wants to take me to Asgard. I know that"

"Yeah, but Thor isn't here, is he?" Hill says with a smug smile

Loki's smile fades.

"If you really hope to go back home, Dorothy" Hill continues "I suggest you accept our offer"

Loki looks angry. While it's improbable that Midgardian punishment would be more severe than Asgardian justice, being sentenced by such lower creatures is simply too humiliating. "Very well, I agree to your terms"

"Twilight, do you really think it's a good idea to let him help us?" Dash whispers to Twilight "He's scary"

"I don't like it either, Dash" Twilight whispers back "But he's our only hope to stabilize the portal. Our hooves are tied"

"Remember" Clint warns him "If you try anything funny, I still owe you an arrow to the eye socket"

Loki smiles "When do we start?"

Back in the tower, Selvig, Banner, and Pepper were back into the R&D department, preparing the machine for a second try.

"Do we really need to connect it back to the chest reactor?" Pepper asks Banner "Couldn't we just use the tower's main reactor?"

"I'm sorry, Pepper, but I don't think so" Banner answers "The event was specifically triggered by Tony's chest piece. I know it doesn't sound scientific, but I think that the reactor's connection with Tony's heart may be essential for this to work"

"You sure?" Pepper insists "I really don't want to subject Tony, I mean, Rainbow Dash to that pain again"

"_Sure_, no, I ain't" Banner says "But the last two times the Tesseract operated on its own it opened a portal to the Chitauri world and the last two times it operated with Tony's arc reactor it opened a portal to Equestria, so…"

"So you need my help to put the horses back in the stable"

The three turn their heads to see Loki arriving in the room followed by Maria Hill, the 'humanized' ponies, and the other three.

Pepper feels her stomach churn. She has never seen Loki before. She feels fear, for this man is powerful and dangerous. She feels anger, for this man is responsible for all that death and destruction and he also almost killed Tony. And yet, she feels relief and gratitude, for this man may bring her Tony back.

Selvig looks away, while tucking his shirt over his chest. Bruce simply raises his eyebrows, almost indifferent "So, our mighty ruler decided to be kind enough to help us" he says to Loki

Loki smiles "Is not very wise to provoke those who are willing to help, Doctor. Especially, when they're your only option"

"Willing? That's a good one" Banner replies "Does that collar itch, little puppy? How does it feel to be ruled? Is it as wonderful as you promised us?"

Loki gives in an angry look "You tell me, Doctor. How it feels to have your life controlled by that mindless beast inside you? You like to pretend you are a scholar, when in truth you are a creature of the basest mind, a drooling simpleton. You may be presently in a position of power, but do not forget that I am still superior to you in all aspects"

Banner chuckles "Oh, Loki, you don't give up do you? Look, you can believe whatever you want, but be warned, if you try to escape, if you try to harm my friends in any way, **_I will imprint your face in every single tile on this floor_**" Bruce says in a very serious tone, while Loki takes a step back, slightly shaken "Do you understand? Good"

Dash had to pick up her jaw from the floor. Ever since she woke up here, Bruce Banner has always been the friendliest, shiest, most comforting, understanding, and, seemingly, most harmless of all the people she met so far. But here he was, not only talking smack, but downright **_threatening_** the super-creepy, mega-dangerous psycho, and the super-creepy, mega-dangerous psycho actually **_cowered_**! That was AWESOME! And disturbing, but in a cool way. Once she's back in Ponyville, Dash will start a Bruce Banner Fan Club.

"Virginia Potts?" Maria Hill addresses Pepper "I'm Deputy Maria Hill from SHIELD. We're sorry for all the inconvenience the last days' events have caused you and we want to assure you that SHIELD is doing everything possible to stabilize the situation so you can proceed with your usual routine"

"Huh… ok, thanks" Pepper says, trying not to roll her eyes at that bullshit bureaucratic apology. _Inconvenience? Really?_

"We're losing time!" Selvig says "We better start this"

"Ok, Rainbow" Bruce addresses Tony Dash "I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to ask you to take your shirt off and sit on the chair again"

Dash gulps, but complies.

"What's the problem?" Twilight Odinson asks

"Well, it's a very painful procedure" Banner explains "We need to connect the cube to Tony's chest reactor. It will hurt, but there's no other way"

"Can't you take it off her chest?" Twilight asks, already moving her hand towards the reactor, but Pepper catches her hand midair.

"If you take it off, she dies" both Twilight and Dash stare at her "That thing is what keeps Tony alive"

"Why?" Dash asks "Am I… He's a robot?"

"No" Pepper says with a soft, sad smile "But that thing keeps his heart beating"

"If Dash died in Stark's body" Twilight ponders "Would Stark die in her body as well?"

"I don't think so" Selvig says "But this is uncharted territory, anything is possible"

"Once his body died, your spirit would probably try to find its way home" Loki chimes in "It probably would never find it, and if it did, it would have to wrestle Stark's consciousness for the dominance of the body. Whoever lost would either be expelled or locked in, forced to watch, helpless, as the winner would use their body and live their life. But that's just conjecture"

The room fell silent for a minute, while Dash and Twilight exchanged looks of worry and attempted reassurance. Bruce breaks the silence "Well, I have experience with being locked in, helpless, in something else's body. It sucks, but you learn how to live with it. Don't worry, though, Rainbow. We're not gonna let anything happen to you. And YOU" Banner points to Loki "You will use your magic to keep the portal stable"

"Certainly" Loki says with a smirk

The cables are connected once again. Natasha grabs Loki's scepter. Loki eyes the scepter. Natasha gives him a '_don't even think about it' _look. Both Pepper and Twilight hold Dash's hands. Selvig turns the machine on.

Tony Dash's body jerks with pain as Twilight and Pepper tighten their grip. The energy once again escapes the cables and forms its own independent stream. "LOKI! Stabilize it!" Banner yells. Loki closes his eyes and stretches his arms forward, the inside of his hands facing the stream, concentrating. The portal begins to open.

"Yes, yes" Banner whispers

The portal stops growing. It's stable.

"YES!"

Suddenly, the portal shrinks. It stays the size of an apple. It shoots a beam of energy, hitting Steve who convulses.

"NO!" Banner yells "Shut it off!"

Natasha does her thing, and the machine 'dozes off'.

"Dash, are you okay?" Twilight asks "That was awful"

"Yeah, I'm okay" Dash said, feeling nauseous "Oh, darn. I'm gonna have to past through this yet again, won't I?"

"Steve, are you okay?" Natasha asks her fallen Avenger "Are you still Steve?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Steve says, a little dizzy

"Do you feel like eating hay?" Clint asks

"I'm not a pony, Clint" Steve answers while getting up, annoyed

"Hey, it's no crime to be sure"

"Hmm, interesting…" Loki says

"What did you do?" Bruce asks

"I did nothing, Doctor" Loki answers "You didn't need me. Your machine works perfectly"

"Oh, yeah. I can see that" Banner replied, sarcastically

"The problem is on their side" Loki points at Tony Dash and Twilight Odinson

"Excuse me?" Twilight says

"Portals are doorways. Doors can be opened from both sides" Loki smirks at Clint "Doors can be _jammed_ from both sides as well. Your side is jammed"

"Jammed?" Dash asks "Jammed by what?"

"Chaos"

"Chaos?" Banner asks

"Yes, chaos" Loki says "When I was stabilizing the portal, I sensed a strong aura of chaos coming from the other side, disrupting the portal"

"But why? How? I mean, it can't…" Twilight stops, suddenly having a disturbing revelation "Discord"

"Discord?" asks Hill

"Discord. He's a horrible being who only brings misery and disharmony everywhere he goes"

"An entity of chaos called Discord?" Hill continues "What is this? A videogame?"

"Primitive civilizations tend to anthropomorphize what they can't understand or control" Selvig tries to explain "So they create deities to represent the most abstract aspects of their lives. In this case, Discord"

"Hey! Whose civilization you're calling primitive?" Dash yelled

"Discord isn't a 'representation'" Twilight says "He's very real and he's very dangerous"

"But, Twilight" Dash says "Discord was defeated. _We_ defeated him"

"I was defeated once" Loki smirks

"Twice" Barton says

"But we imprisoned him in the statue!" Dash protests

"Well, I don't think he's in the statue any more" Twilight says, turning to Bruce "We need to go back as soon as possible! Equestria needs us!"

"I'm sorry, Twilight" Bruce replies "If Loki speaks the truth, then our hands are tied. It's on Tony's, Thor's, and your friends' hands now"

While the group argued, Loki walked away. Facing a wall, he closes his eyes and concentrates. To everyone in the room, Loki was still there. His body was there. His mind, however, was in the other side of the universe, on a rock floating in space, where a hooded creature stares at him with hatred.

"You dare contact me?" the Other hissed "You have failed!"

"Your army failed" Loki rebuts "But that's irrelevant right now. I came with glad tidings"

"Save your breath, Asgardian" the Other interrupts "Your eloquent speeches have no effect here"

"I do suggest you hear what I have to say" Loki insists "Thor's brain has been traded with those of an equine creature, a considerable improvement I might add, and he's not the only one. The armored one too, and he has had a significant decrease on his ingenuity as a result. If this ripple effect continues, the Avengers will be neutralized, and the moment will be propitious for a second attack"

"You take us for fools?" the Other asked "Expecting us to believe such nonsense?"

"It is rather ridiculous" Loki admitted "Which proves I would never tell you if it was a lie as I would gain nothing with something this unbelievable"

The Other pauses "How?" he asks

"Apparently, the Tesseract opened a second portal when no one was looking" Loki smiles "It caused two of Earth's defenders to change bodies with beings from another dimension that seem to be even meeker than those of Earth. I suspect the changes will continue"

"The Earthlings didn't seem so meek in the battle" the Other hisses "Can you guarantee that their forces will be subjugated by the time of the second attack?"

"The only way they can fight us is if they're here, and an aura of chaos is preventing anyone to come back. It's a very faint aura. I could easily dissipate it if I so wish" Loki smirks "but why would I do that?"

"Very well, Asgardian" the Other says "Do not fail this time. The master seldom gives second chances"

"Hey! What are you doing?" Maria Hill asks Loki

"I'm… meditating" Loki says with a mischievous smile

"Yeah, right" Hill says "Go back to the group, Ipkiss"

After a few minutes of pointless discussion, the group decided that there was nothing they could do, it was getting late, and they should rest. Accompanied by Barton, Deputy Hill brought Loki back to the Helicarrier, saying that they could try again tomorrow, _maybe_.

Pepper invites everyone (and everypony) for dinner, just realizing that they skipped lunch. Everyone goes back to their bedrooms (with Natasha having to guide Twilight to Thor's room) to clean up and get ready to eat.

Steve was sitting in the bathroom, feeling ill. He hasn't felt ill ever since he took the Super Soldier Serum, but now he was dizzy, nauseous, and sweating cold. Something's wrong.

Steve tries to get up, but he feels weak "Help…" he tries to say, but falls unconscious on the floor.

Seconds later, he recovers. Still dizzy, he gets up, trying to recognize his surroundings "Wha… Where am I?" Steve ends up facing his own reflex on the mirror and is completely taken aback by what he sees.

"What in darnation?" he says

* * *

**Something that just occured to me while rewatching the Iron Man movies:  
**

**In IM2 Tony compares himself to the myth of the Phoenix, so...**

**Which two colors are usually associated with a Phoenix?**

******Which two colors are usually associated with Iron Man?**

******I wonder if it was intentional, probably not, but still cool.**

******PS: I published this chapter on my birthday.**


	7. Thorse

**"Cross the Brooklyn bridge**

**To the place where the mortals live**

**Where they wear their hearts**

**On a sleeve of metal and stars**

**And I call them friends**

**Stand beside them right to the very end**

**And I feel at home"**

_**Rainbow**** Bridge**_**, Kirby Krackle**

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**THORSE  
**

"Angel! Come back here!" Spike yells to the unruly bunny "Don't make me come after you!"

Angel doesn't comply. He keeps running around the library, throwing books at Spike.

"Ow, quit it!"

"ANGEL! STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" Fluttershy, who had just entered the library, shouts, but quickly goes back to her old coy self "I-I mean, if you don't mind… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you… You're not angry, are you? Please, don't be angry"

The bunny just shrugs and happily hops towards her owner.

"Oh, Fluttershy, thank Celestia you're here!" Spike says, relieved "I don't know what I would do…"

"Is she back here?" Applejack asks, bursting through the door, making Fluttershy jump in the air

"Who?" Spike asks

"Twilight!" Applejack says "I can't find her anywhere"

"I don't know. I didn't know she had left. I was too busy taking care of Angel" Spike answers "As a matter of fact, I didn't know you left either. I thought you all were still in the basement"

"So, Stark isn't here either?" Fluttershy asks "I've found a mine. I wanted to ask him to check it out to see if it was what he wanted"

"Who cares if it is what he wanted?" Applejack says "I still don't know why we're doin' him any favors"

"FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE, STARK!" Twilight shouts as she enters the library "SHUT UP!"

"You know, as someone who has the pink motor mouth as a friend, I expected you to be more tolerant with talkative types" Rainbow Stark says, following Twilight "Especially, considering that love and tolerance seem to be the whole shtick of this place"

"Oh, _I'm tolerating you"_ Twilight hisses "_I'm tolerating you **so** hard right now…"_

"Twilight!" Applejack says, hugging her friend "Are ya okay?"

"Uh, yeah... Yes, I am" Twilight says "Thank you for your concern"

"Oh, Twilight, I was so worried" Applejack says "I looked everywhere for ya"

"Did you try walking in a straight line? That's what I did" Stark provokes "Maybe you got distracted by pretty lights… That's why horses in my world have blinders. Maybe I should give you a pair for Christmas"

"Maybe I should give ya a kick in the teeth" Applejack replies, angry

"Bring it" Stark says "I'm not afraid to hit a girl"

"No problem" Applejack replies "Ya ain't gonna get a chance to land a hit on me"

"Doubtful, if your moves are as slow as your thought process…"

"Ya insulting my intelligence?"

"No. First you need to have intelligence for it to be insulted"

"That's it, Stark! Ya are goin' down!"

"I hope is not too hard to pick up fruit with a couple of ribs broken"

"STOP!" Fluttershy shouts with tears in her eyes "P-please... Stop fighting... please..."

"Look what you did" Stark said "You've upset Steve Irwin"

"WHAT I DID?!" Applejack yells, furious

"Shush!" Stark says "You're gonna make our baby cry again"

"Stark! Stop insulting my friends or I won't help you" Twilight says

"We've been through this before, Sparkle. You're in no position to negotiate" Stark simply says "Now, if you may excuse us, Roy Rogers, we have work to do"

"Ya are tryin' to get rid of me?"

"Well, you already brought my tools and you already saw Twilight. So, there's no reason for you to still be here" Stark says "Why don't you go back to the Clampett family farm, Elly May, get drunk with your hillbilly friends, and sing songs about how the South will rise again?"

"I… have no idea what any of that means, but I'm pretty sure it's an insult" Applejack says "And I'm not moving one hoof until I'm sure ya won't bother Twilight anymore!"

"Jesus, you're needy" Stark says "Ok, you can stay here with Hiccup and Toothless, while Gwen Tennyson and I go to the basement for magic science and stuff"

"I'm goin' down with you" Applejack insists, following them to the basement

"Sorry, this is the thinker's zone now. Where thinkers think" Rainbow Stark says, blocking the way from Applejack "Only ponies who know how to spell their own name allowed. Sorry" and with a smile Stark closed the basement's door on Applejack's face.

The room fell silent. Applejack stays immobile, staring at the door, without moving a muscle or making a sound, her back turned to the other occupants of the room. Fluttershy and Spike exchange concerned glances.

"A-applejack? Are you okay?" Fluttershy asks, unsure

"I CAN SPELL MY NAME!" Applejack explodes, scaring Fluttershy "It's A-P-L-E… No, wait. Darn it. It's A-P-P-E-L… ARGH! _It's A-P-P-L-E-J-C_… FUUUUU…"

Down in the basement, Twilight addresses Stark "Okay, Stark, let's get over with this. What do you need my help for?"

"Well, you remember our little portal-laser-device-thingy, right?"

"Yes…?"

"Well, you remember it didn't work?"

"Cut to the chase, Stark" Twilight says, impatient

"Well, I know what went wrong" Stark says "Science won't work. We need your magic abilities for this"

"Okay, so what do I do?"

"You do the same thing that the laser did, except you'll be using your horn beam of fun, sunshine and happiness to power up the gems"

"That's it?!" Twilight asks, angry

"Simple, isn't it?" Stark replies "I didn't even need to use GameShark"

"You just want me to shoot a beam?!" Twilight says, outraged "You said you knew nothing about magic. You said that you were stuck. You said you needed my intellectual help!"

"No, I said I needed what's in your head" Stark says, tapping Twilight's horn "So, when can you start?"

"You're not asking for my help! _You're using me! _You just think of me as a tool!" Twilight yells

"A very useful tool"

"_A Tool?!" _Twilight insists "Is that all I mean to you?"

"What the hell? 'All you mean to me'?" Stark says "You want the divorce? Did I take the magic out of our relationship? Goddamn it, Sparkle. We're not a couple. We're not even friends. We're just two guys after the same thing! It's very simple: You fart your magic shit on the gems and we all get what we want. Now, I'm sorry if this all seems like a banal use of your amazing abilities and you would rather be cracking the Da Vinci code or something, but could you swallow your pride for one day in your miserable life and do something useful without complaining for once?"

"You know nothing about me!" Twilight yells

"And I don't want to!" Stark yells back "We're very close to never have to see each other again, so, please, Gandalf, JUST DO IT!"

Twilight scowls at him "This better work"

"Tell you what, Charlie" Stark says "If this doesn't work, me and the pink one will take you to the Candy Mountain Cave for consolation. We promise you we won't steal your kidney. What do you say?"

"The same thing I said before: shut up!"

"Okay, then"

Twilight closes her eyes and concentrates. She wants Rainbow Dash back. She wants Stark OUT! She puts every single drop of strength, of _rage_, of her body into this. Her horn glows and glows, until it finally shoots an enormous beam towards all the Elements.

"Whoa!" Stark says "We want to energize them, not to vaporize them!"

"They seem pretty energized to me" Twilight says

And they were. The Element of Loyalty was bright and pulsing.

"Gotta hand it to you, Kristen Stewart" Stark says, patting Twilight in the back "Good job"

But then, the Element of Loyalty shot the beam back towards all the elements, until it finally reached the Element of Magic. "I take that back" Stark says "You suck"

Before Twilight has a chance to frown at Stark, the Element of Magic shots the beam back into her face, knocking her to the other side of the basement, unconscious. Rainbow Stark laughs out loud "I'm sorry! Sorry. You had to see the look on your face. Do you still have a face?" he asks, approaching her inanimate body.

"Hey, Stephenie Meyer, are you alright?" he asks again "I don't want to deal with a dead unicorn. It's bad luck"

Twilight shakes her head gently, dissipating the fogginess of her mind. She sees Rainbow Stark staring at her, and she looks slightly suspicious and confused "Hey, Rod Serling, I'm glad you're okay" Before Stark could continue, Twilight leaps and immobilizes Stark on the floor, holding his hoof against his back.

"Stand down, your demonic creature, or feel the wrath of…" Twilight stops, as if she was shocked by the sound of her own voice.

"Okay… I only know one guy who talks like that" Stark says, his face still pressed against the floor "Thor?"

"How do you know my name, talking horse?" Twilight asks, still holding Stark's hoof against his back

"Look who's talking" Stark answers

Thor Sparkle looks at his hands or, better yet, his _hooves_ "I'M A HORSE!"

"Yes, you are" Stark says, finally free from Thor's grip "And to answer your first question: It's me, Tony. Welcome to hell, buddy"

"Stark?" Thor says "What kind of sorcery is this?"

"Beats me" Stark answers "But I'm trying to reverse it"

"So were Banner and Selvig" said Thor

"We did great, didn't we?" Stark asks, sarcastically

"Where are we?"

"Hell, Neverland, the mind of a little girl high on acid, I don't know" Stark says "Here, they call it Equestria"

"Equestria?"

"Yeah, everyone, sorry, every_pony_ here is a horse and they live happily forever in their gardens full of color and rivers made of chocolate"

"So, there's a _tenth_ realm we were unaware of? Incredible" Thor says "Although I was hoping this was a jest"

"You and I both, buddy" Stark says "So, how's things back home?"

"There's someone who calls itself Rainbow Dash occupying your body now"

"Yeah, that's who I am now" Stark says, spreading his arms "Apparently, I'm a mix between Usain Bolt and a weatherman. And you're Twilight Sparkle. Her life story can be abridged by playing Supertramp's _The Logical Song _backwards"

"I'm not sure I understand"

"Don't worry, buddy" Stark says "We just need to find another source of magic so we can go back… You don't happen to know how to use that, do you?" Stark points at Thor's horn

"I… I don't think so"

"It's okay. I don't know how to use these either" Stark shows his wings "Well, we better break the news to the others"

"Others?"

Stark opens the basement door to find Applejack, Fluttershy and Spike waiting "Well, I've got good news and…"

"A-P-P-L-E-J-A-C-K!" Applejack shouts at Stark

"What?"

"I can spell my name!"

"Good job. You want a sticker?" Stark replies completely deadpan "As I was saying I have good news. The machine worked"

"What machine?" Fluttershy asks

"If the machine worked" Applejack says "Why ya are not Rainbow Dash?"

"Well, that's the bad news" Stark says "Instead of bringing Rainbow Dash in, it sent someone else out"

"What…" Applejack says, before realization struck her "TWILIGHT! What ya did to her?" she presses Stark against the floor.

"What is this? Pin Stark Down in the Ground Day?" Stark says "Do you mind if I stay on top?"

"What ya did to her?" Applejack insists

"She's fine" Stark answers "Unless Thor was flying when the switch happened, of course"

"Thor?"

"Yeah, isn't this exciting?" Stark says, pressing his cheeks together and mocking a cute voice "You got to meet a new friend! You love meeting new friends, don't you? Yes, you do"

Applejack turns her head to see Thor Sparkle coming out of the basement "Twilight? Please, tell me he's lying… Tell me ya are still ya…"

Thor gives in a sad look "I'm deeply sorry, orange pony"

Applejack sheds a tear "Why? Why is this happening?" she cries

"Okay, now I'm feeling uncomfortable" Stark says, crawling away from the crying pony

Applejack paid him no mind, and kept sobbing in her hooves

"Maybe we should introduce you" Stark tells Thor "Jackasses, gecko. This is Thor. Thor, these are Lumberjack, Ace Ventura, and Puff, the Magic Dragon"

"MY NAME IS SPIKE!" Spike yells

"You know, for a dragon, you don't have a very thick skin" Stark says "Besides, you should consider yourselves lucky that your friend got replaced by Thor. If it was his brother, you all would be in serious danger of being molested right now"

"Stark!" Thor shouts "I told you, the Midgardian account of the origins of Sleipnir is grossly innacurate"

"Yeah, right" Stark says "Anything to preserve the family honor, right?"

"IS EVERYTHING A JOKE TO YA?" Applejack shouts, her eyes still wet

Stark laughs "You know, I just noticed you have your pony tail on a ponytail…"

"Two of my best friends are gone, and ya just keeping make jokes! Don't ya see how awful this is?" Applejack yells "Of course, ya don't! Ya don't have anypony that ya care about but ya' self"

"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!" Stark shouts, startling the ponies

"My friends, this is no time for fighting" Thor chimes in "We need to focus on the ordeal at hand"

"Princess Bride is right. We need another horny pony" Stark says "Where's Scarcity?"

"_Rarity_ is still working on your stupid suit" Applejack said with contempt

"Oh, yeah, the contingency plan" Stark says "We may need that, now"

"About that" Fluttershy says "I've found a mine. Could you…"

"Not now, Horse Whisperer" Stark says "We need to talk to Equestrian Dior. Come with me, Thor"

"I'm coming with ya" Applejack says

"Do I need to fill out a restraining order against you?" Stark asks

"Listen, Stark, I don't trust ya" Applejack says "The last time you were alone with Twilight you sent her to 'I-don't-even-know-where'. I'm not gonna let this happen to Rarity. I'm coming with ya, whether ya like it or not"

"Pfft. Whatever. Just don't hold us back"

A few minutes later, Rainbow Stark, Applejack, and Thor Sparkle were on the doorstep of Rarity's home/store. "Before we enter, Thor, I want you to be careful" Stark says "Rarity doesn't seem dangerous, but she sells clothes in a place where everyone walks around naked, so she's either crazy or stupid"

Applejack frowns at Stark

"Do you know any other facial expressions?" Stark asks her, before entering "Hey, Edna Mode! Where's my super-suit?"

Rarity turns her head to meet her friends "Oh, hi, Stark. Twilight! Applejack! I'm glad you came too!"

Applejack looks sad "I'm afraid that's not Twilight, Rarity"

"What do you mean?"

"She means like I'm also not the pony version of Speed Racer" Stark says "We had another body swap"

"Oh, dear… So, Twilight is…"

"Meet Thor" said Stark "Thor, this is Rarity"

"Enchanted to meet you, Lady Rarity" Thor Sparkle holds and kisses Rarity's hoof

"Lady?" Rarity says, blushing "Oh, my. How gallant"

"Ya could learn a few things from him" Applejack tells Stark

"Meh. I have fame, looks, brains and money. I don't need manners" Stark says "Besides, Thor's a prince. That's how they act"

"He's a prince?!" Rarity asks "Darn! Why did you have to be Twilight? Why couldn't you be a stallion?"

"I'm sorry" Thor said, not exactly sure what he's apologizing for

"Ahem!" Stark coughs "My suit?"

"Oh, right" Rarity says, grabbing a piece of paper from her table "I worked on it all day. You're gonna love it. It's simply divine"

_Divine?_ Stark's not sure if he likes where this is going.

Stark takes the paper and looks over it "Okay, it's good… Just a few questions"

"Yes?"

"What's the deal with the hat?"

"It's marvelous, isn't it?"

"Yeah, sure, but you see" Stark tries to explain "This is a high speed flight suit. The hat would be lost the very first…"

"We'll just add a cord" Rarity interrupts

"Okay…" Stark says, rubbing the back of his neck "and the cape?"

"Capes are _in_ this season, darling"

"But, you're Edna Mode!" Stark says "You shouldn't like capes!"

"Who's Edna Mode?" Rarity asks

"It's just a character from _The Incredibles_" Stark says "You'd like that movie, by the way. There's a character named Dash on it. Okay, let me see… I'm strangely okay with the turquoise ornaments, but why did you change the red/gold pattern for purple/white?"

"The red and yellow were clashing with the hat and cape" Rarity answers "Purple and white make a much better match"

"I see…"

"You didn't like it…" Rarity says, a disappointed tone on her voice

"No, no, I loved it" Stark says "You did a good job, Harriet"

"It's Rarity"

"What did I say?" Stark replies, rolling the paper and putting it in a bag he was carrying "Anyway, this wasn't the only reason we came here. We would like to know if you could follow us back to the library to power up my machine with your magic"

"Couldn't Twilight, sorry, Thor do that?" Rarity asks

"Thor can't do magic" Stark says

"Maybe he can" Applejack says "He's in Twilight's body; he has Twilight's horn and her magic abilities too. If he puts his heart into it, he can do it"

"You hear that, Thor?" Stark says "If you believe really hard and clap your hands really fast, the magic fairies will drop pixie dust and…"

"STARK!" Applejack yells "You're not helping!"

"Fine, fine" Stark said "Okay, Thor, let's give it a shot"

Thor Sparkle closes his eyes and concentrates. _My friends are counting on me. I must not fail them. _He sweats. He concentrates harder and harder and harder _and harder and…_

FART!

Thor, Applejack and Rarity blush, while Stark tries his best not to laugh "Damn, Thor! What did you eat? Or should I ask what Twilight ate?"

"A thousand apologies, fair lady" Thor Sparkle lowers his head in reverence to Rarity, which happens to heighten his butt in Applejack's direction, who turns her head away, trying not to breathe "A delicate damsel like you shouldn't be submitted to such treatment. I have never been so ashamed"

"It's okay, darling" Rarity says, waving her hoof to dissipate the smell "It happens to the best of us"

"See? That's all the 'magic' he can do. And it stinks. Literally" Stark says "Will you follow us now?"

"Oh, dear" Rarity sighs "Look, Stark, I only ever use my magic for practical uses, like sewing, grabbing objects, and detecting gems. I don't know how to do fancy spells like Twilight does"

"We understand, Rarity" Applejack says

"Besides, I worked on this design all day. I'm exhausted" Rarity says "And it's almost time for my beauty sleep too"

"Yeah, looks are important" Stark says "I never had a beauty sleep, but then again, I never had to work hard to look decent"

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Rarity says, offended

"Nothing. Bye"

"Farewell, Lady Rarity"

"Honestly" Applejack said to Stark once they were outside "Are ya tryin' to make everypony hate ya?"

"Rest assured, Jack of Apples" Thor said "The Man of Iron may be aggravating sometimes, but he has the best intentions in his heart"

"Yep. I'm a little cutesy flower at heart" Stark mocked with a wry smile

"I believe the 'aggravating' part" Applejack replies "Why did ya call him 'Man of Iron'?"

"It's because I eat a lot of red meat" Stark quips "Anyway, do you know any other pony who can pull a rabbit out of a hat or something?"

"A rabbit out of a hat?" Thor says, confused "I don't understand…"

"He's mocking magic" Applejack explains, frowning at Stark "Pullin' a rabbit out a hat is not real magic, just a stage trick…" Applejack pauses, suddenly remembering something "Actually, I do know a pony that can pull a rabbit out of a hat…"

"Great!" Stark says "Take us to her. I say her because I'm starting to doubt the existence of male ponies around here…"

"What? Now?" Applejack says "Do ya have any idea how late it is? Rarity is right. We should be going to bed"

"Einstein only slept three hours a year" Stark says

"I don't know who 'Eye Stain' is…"

"Someone who's more intelligent than you"

"That doesn't mean much" Applejack replies before realizing what she just said, much to Stark's amusement "Wait! No! I mean…"

"Listen, Applejack" Stark says "I know I've been less than cordial with you and your friends, and it's obvious how much you care about them. I respect that. I really do. From the very moment you found out your friend was gone, you acted hostile towards me. I don't begrudge you for that. I understand. You want your friend back and you're pissed because some jackass replaced her and is using her body to be a jerk. The way you almost broke down when you found out Twilight was replaced too really touched me. I mean it. I never had the pleasure to meet Rainbow Dash but, as far as I'm concerned, you're the biggest contestant to the title of Element of Loyalty I've ever met"

"Oh… wow" Applejack mumbles, surprised by Stark's unexpected niceness "Stark, I… I don't know what to say…"

"Don't say anything" Rainbow Stark continues "You may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but you're definitely the most reliable. You probably had the opportunity to get a higher education, but you gave it up to stay with your family and help them. That takes balls and, most importantly, devotion. Lots of people sorely lack both. Doing something like you did builds character. And muscle, if your physique is anything to go by. Anyway, I know it's late and you're probably tired, but the sooner we find someone who can magically power up those gems, the sooner we'll get your friends back. We must do it for those we care about, just like you always did. Just like you'll always do. Besides, just us going for a stroll under the moonlight isn't that bad now, is it?" Stark finishes with a wink.

Applejack just froze. Without thinking, she closed her eyes and started to lean forward, her lips barely open. Once she realized what she was doing, she stops and covers her mouth with her hoof, blushing "Oh my gosh! I-I was about to…"

"Yep" Stark says with a cocky smile

"But… I didn't… I mean… I wouldn't… I… What?!" Applejack mumbled

"It's the good ol' Tony Stark charm. Never fails" Stark says "I could convince my worst enemy to sleep with me in less than three minutes. Tell the truth, even I get scared by how effective it is. Don't worry though, I won't make any advances on you. I already have a girlfriend and I'm not into horses. That's Loki's department"

"STARK!" Thor shouts

"Anyway" Stark ignores Thor "Now, that I've made you 87% less mad at me. Could you take us to the Mystery Mare?"

"Okay, I'll do it" Applejack sighs "But let me warn ya, no matter what she says, she's NOT all that _great and powerful_"

Back at the library, Fluttershy asks Spike "Do you think they're gonna be back soon?"

"I'm not sure" Spike says, ready to take the garbage out "Do you still want to wait?"

"Yeah, I think it's better…"

"Your choice" Spike says as he leaves the library and puts the garbage bag in the bin. As he turns towards the library, he suddenly feels like something is missing.

He takes a few seconds to realize what "Discord! Where is he? He was right here! We need to warn the Princess…"

_Wait_, he thinks, _There doesn't seem to be anything wrong… No chocolate rain… No houses of cards… No ballet dancing buffalos… No chaos anywhere… If Discord really escaped, there should be chaos. Maybe he didn't escape. Maybe the Princess sent somepony over to retrieve him when nopony was looking…_

"Hmm… Efficient service" Spike says to himself as he goes back to the library, completely carefree.

Back to the mismatched trio, Applejack, Rainbow Stark, and Thor Sparkle walked for miles until arriving to a poorly put together wagon parked in the shoulder of the road "Before we knock" Applejack says "Ya better remember that Trixie and us don't have a very friendly history…"

"Oh, this is gonna be fun" Stark simply says as he knocks hard on the door

"Who dares to interrupt my great and powerful slumber?" Trixie shouts, opening the door to see the three ponies staring at her "Oh, if it isn't Toilet Sparkle with her two whiny friends, Rainbow Rash and Applejerk"

"Rainbow Rash... I like that. It has alliterative appeal" Rainbow Stark says "Plus, it sounds like the name of an STD"

"What do you want?" Trixie continues "Destroying my wagon in Ponyville wasn't enough and you want to see what else you can take away from me?"

"Like you sit in the public Toilet Sparkle for an Applejerk-off and BAM! You got Rainbow Rash!" Stark keeps musing to himself

"Hey!" Applejack chimes in "Maybe ya still would have ya wagon if ya wasn't showing off and—"

"Oh, my! I was showing off?" Trixie interrupts "NEWSFLASH, your imbecile! I'm a performer! That's what we do! We exaggerate! We boast! We try to get attention! It's called SHOW BUSINESS for a reason!"

Applejack takes a step back surprised by Trixie's outburst "I like this one" Stark smirks

"But…" Applejack says "Ya were trying to humiliate us!"

"I'm sorry, but who were talking smack in the first place trying to disrupt my business? It was you and that stupid dragon! Because Celestia forgive somepony dares to say to be better than us! You two are so petty! Besides, magicians and hypnotists always humiliate a volunteer for the rest of the audience. It's part of the act"

"Petty? Me?" Applejack asks, dumbfounded

"Yeah!" Trixie says "I guess your blue friend here is the only pony allowed to think highly of herself in that entire stinky city! Enjoy your days of friendship, Rainbow Dash, because I bet that when the ponies start to pay more attention to you than to them, you're so-called friends will try to bring you down too"

"Actually, I'm not…" Stark tries to say

"I mean, I was just doing my livelihood when you had to burst my bubble!" Trixie continues her rant, cutting Stark off "How would you like if your stupid little sister was doing some parlor tricks to her friends and I came along and showed everypony were she was hiding the real card? Showing everypony how much of a _freaking fraud _she is? When all she wanted to do was entertain her friends and, I don't know, maybe boost up her self-esteem a little bit? Would you like that? _WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?"_ Trixie's eyes were wet with tears of anger "Did you even punish those two brats who brought the Ursa Minor to the city? Or I was the only victim in that whole farce?"

"Uh… no… we did… I…" Applejack didn't know what to say. She didn't expect Trixie to react so strongly "_maybetheydidn'tliketheirmustaches" _she mumbles

"Excuse me, Lady of Tricks" Thor chimes in with a reverence "I must humbly request you to forgive any past feuds you may have with the previous occupants of these bodies and assist us in a mission of the most importance"

"Uh… what?" Trixie asks Thor, confused

"Here's the thing, Trixie Tang" Stark butted in "We are in the middle of a magic blunder, Cosmo is having her beauty sleep and Wanda changed bodies with Jorgen Von Strangle. So you are our only option to clean up this mess"

"Once again: what?"

"Do it for Timmy Turner!" Stark insists

"Time Turner? We only dated once!"

Applejack sighs "Listen, Trixie. These aren't Twilight and Rainbow Dash. It's hard to explain right now, but they changed bodies with somepony else and we don't know where they are. Ya 're the best alternative we got right now to have 'em back"

"Really?" Trixie says suspicious at first, but slowly a huge grin start to appear on her face "YES! Ha Ha Ha! Payback is an itch, huh? Who's laughing now? The great and powerful Trixie, that's who!"

"The **_great and powerful_** Trixie? Really?" Stark chuckles "Okay, seriously, where's the man behind the curtain?"

"What?" Trixie says

"Man behind a curtain? I don't understand" Thor says

"Me neither" Applejack agrees

"Steve would" Tony frowns

"Now that you learned the circumstances of our most troubling situation" Thor addresses Trixie "Would you grant us your assistance?"

"Uh, let me think… NO!" she shouts and closes the door in their faces

"This… is a very rude horse" Thor says

Applejack sighs "Let's go home…"

"Not without James Franco" Stark says

"Trixie won't help us, Stark" Applejack says "It's useless"

"I've created an element from random crap in my basement when Jarvis himself told me it was impossible" Stark replies "So, I'm not gonna give up just because a stupid pony is mad at you for not letting her play in your sandbox. I know how to handle this type of people… _ponies. _Just let me talk with her"

Applejack looks at Stark for a few seconds before nodding "Okay, if ya say so. Use ya charm" Stark smiles

Knock, knock!

"What?" Trixie answers the door to see Stark alone on the doorstep "Go away!" she begins to close the door, but Stark grabs it.

"Look, Gilderoy Lockhart, I know we started off with the wrong foot" Stark says, pushing his way inside Trixie's wagon "But I believe that if you help us it would be beneficial for 'everypony', including you"

"Look, Rainbow…"

"It's Stark, actually. Tony Stark" Stark corrects

"_Stark_, I'm sorry you got involved in this mess" Trixie says "But there's absolutely no way that I'm gonna help that purple mule, regardless if she isn't '_she'_. So spare both our time and patience, because you ain't gonna convince me otherwise"

"If I understand correctly, Twilight managed to do a trick that you said you could do, but couldn't, which resulted in the destruction of your home, reputation, and dignity. That's why you're so upset, right?" Stark says

Trixie shots Stark an angry look "You. Leave. NOW!"

"Wait, wait, let me finish" Stark says "Twilight isn't here. She's in another dimension with no way to go back. Helpless. Unless you do something"

Trixie chuckles "And here I thought you were trying to change my mind…"

"I am" Stark continues "Think about it: If you help us, and you _succeed_ in bringing her back home, she will be in eternal debt with you"

Trixie stops to think. Still feigning disinterest, she simply says "Go on…"

"Can you imagine?" Stark continues "The mighty Twilight Sparkle is now a buffoon who can only cast spells with her rear end. Or, at least, that's how she looks to everypony else who still believes she is she. And from the horizon comes the once chastised Trixie, ready to save the day, to triumph where Sparkle failed. To show everypony that, in that moment, you are the Great and Powerful Trixie, the most skilled spell-caster in all of Ponyville!"

Trixie just looks at Stark, showing no reaction "Promise me an audience" she says

"All of Ponyville will be watching"

"Then, Mr. Stark" Trixie says with a smirk "You got yourself a deal"

While that was happening, Thor Sparkle and Applejack were outside. Thor looks at the stars, a sad expression on his face.

"Is something wrong?" Applejack asks

"I dreaded the time this would happen again" Thor says "I never expected it to be so soon…"

"What happened again?" Applejack asks, curious

"Have you ever felt powerless, Jack of Apples? Have you ever been forced away from home?"

"Can't say that I did"

"I was a mighty prince. A fearsome warrior. And a petulant, foolish child" Thor tells her "One short-sighted act of arrogance of mine endangered my friends and my kingdom. I didn't see it that away. I thought I was on the right. I paid no mind to the consequences my act had unleashed. I challenged my father. Insulted him. I was deemed unworthy. Of my title. Of my kingdom. Of my friends. Of my family. And of my power. So, I was banished. Exiled away, far away from home, to never come back unless I learned my lesson. Alone in another world with no means to go back, powerless. Just like now. Except that I don't know if Heimdal can see me, if Father knows I'm here. More than before, I feel more powerless than ever"

Applejack smiles at him "Let me tell ya what I see: I don't see somepony who's petulant or arrogant, I see somepony who's gentle, chivalrous, and loyal. I see somepony who's learned his lesson. I see somepony who's worthy. I don't understand much of how the world works, but I believe there's a deeper meaning and purpose for everything that happens and that purpose is good. You will be back, Thor. To your family. To your kingdom. To your friends. Because you're worthy of them. If you don't have faith in that, have faith in your friend. With all his sweet-talk and smartness, he will take you out of here faster than a scalded cat"

"I appreciate your kind words of encouragement, noble apple harvester" Thor smiles softly "But we're dependant on the Lady of Tricks, and she does not seem very likely to help us…"

In that instant, the wagon doors open, as Trixie and Rainbow Stark step outside

"In her infinite compassion, the Great and Powerful Trixie decided to help you, peasants" Trixie declares with a solemn face.

Applejack frowns, but Thor beams and holds Trixie in a tight hug, leaving her disconcerted "Thank you! Thank you so much!" he soon realizes she's feeling uncomfortable and releases the grip "I apologize. What I meant to say is that I'm delighted you'll be joining us in our quest, clement Lady of Tricks" he grabs Trixie's hoof and kisses it.

"Seriously, Thor. You need to stop doing that" Stark says "Sooner or later, someone is gonna sue you for sexual harassment. Believe me, I know"

Trixie, however, seemed to be really enjoying the treatment "Why do you want Twilight back, again?"

"Trixie!" Applejack yells

"Ok, Ok, I'll honor the deal"

As they begin their journey back, Applejack approaches Stark "Listen, Stark… About what Trixie said earlier…"

"You want to tell me your side of the events, because the way she told her story made it sound like you and your friends are a bunch of assholes and you want to assure me you're not" Stark completes her sentence "Don't worry. Pinkie already told me this story this morning. I didn't believe her then because of all the random crap she babbled about makes it difficult to distinguish fact from fantasy but, if what she told me is true, you guys had every right to be mad. Sure, you may have overreacted a little bit, or maybe not, but she was the one who started to talk shit, she was the one who downright challenged you, and she was the one who decided to play victim because her bullshit was thrown back into her face. Believe me, I know the type. Maybe she didn't deserve all that, maybe she also has the right to be mad. But, is clear she didn't learn anything. Humiliation is supposed to humble. She needs to be a little more modest"

Applejack smirks "Well, thanks for understanding, but ya could take ya own advice now, couldn't ya?"

"You want me to be modest? Why should I be modest? I have no reasons to be modest!" Stark says "She needs to be modest because she's not as good as she says. **_I am!_** I'm awesome, handsome, brilliant, and incredible. You want me to say I'm not? You want me to **_lie_**? Aren't you supposed to be the Element of Honesty? Shame on you!"

Applejack shots him an annoyed look "Ya know, Stark? I think I'm starting to hate ya again"

"I get that a lot" Stark says, indifferent "You want me to use my charm again? Better yet, just remember it! That tender moment we had. I bet you'll have that memory forever, to warm you in those cold, lonely nights"

Applejack blushes and then frowns "Scratch that. I already hate ya!"

"Yeah" Stark chuckled "Keep telling yourself that, Pepper Jr."

Before long, they arrived at the library.

"Finally, you're here!" Spike greets them "We were beginning to get worried and… Hey, what _she's_ doing here?" Spike points at Trixie, irritated

"Didn't miss you either, gem licker" Trixie replies

"The Lady of Tricks will help solve our tribulation" Thor answers

"Yeah, we tried Rarity first, but she said she was tired and mediocre. At least that was what I understood" Stark says, pulling the design out of his bag "She draws really nice, though. Taking these stupid fashion frivolities out, I'm ready to forge my pony armor as soon as I get my hands into the necessary materials"

"Yeah… about that…" Fluttershy says "I've found a mine and I was wondering…"

"SURPRISE!" Pinkie appears out of nowhere with confetti, balloons and a banner saying 'HAPPY SEND THEM BACK TO HOME PORTAL STUFF THINGY' suddenly covering the entire library.

"HOLY SHIT!" Stark screams almost having a heart attack "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

"It's a…

_Happy Send Them Back To Home Portal Stuff Thingy_

_Everything's Gonna Be Back To Normal In A Wink-Winky_

_Take It From Tony_

_He Doesn't Like Being A Pony_

_He Thinks We're Stinky_

_How About We Prove Him Wrong?_

_Let's Party With Pinkie!"_ Pinkie finishes her song by blowing a party whistle on Stark's face

"I… What… How…" Stark mumbles, trying to catch his breath "W-where did you come from?"

"I was here all evening, silly" Pinkie answers "I've been arranging the party ever since you, Twilight, and Applejack left"

"You were?" Spike asks "How come we didn't see you?"

"Because I wanted it to be a surprise" Pinkie says "SURPRISE!"

"That… doesn't explain anything" Stark says

"What's happening?" Thor Sparkle asks, confused

"Oh, right. You haven't met yet" Stark says "Strawberry Shortcake, this is Thor in Twilight's body. Thor, this is a very crazy horse"

"Hi, Trot. I'm Pinkie Pie" Pinkie extends her hoof for a hoofshake "Nice to meet you"

Thor grabs Pinkie's hoof and kisses it "The pleasure is mine, Lady Pie"

Pinkie blushes and giggles "That rhymed"

"Seriously, Thor, stop kissing their hooves" Stark reprimands "You don't know where they've been!"

"He hasn't kissed my hoof…" Applejack muses out loud

"It's because he only does that to ladies" Stark quips, to which Applejack shoots him a death glare.

On the other side of the room, two ladybugs sit on a windowsill. Without anyone or anypony noticing, they open their wings, revealing a pair of watchful yellow eyes.

Discord had to pat himself on the back. Hexing the Elements of Harmony "just in case" was a stroke of genius! Sure, they didn't "malfunction" like he was hoping them to (he was really surprised when the Elements actually worked and imprisoned him in stone again), but this, **_this_** is just great!

Two of the Elements are gone forever! Luckily, Twilight didn't detect the hex before she herself was sent to another dimension. Now, nothing can stop him!

Oh, oh, let's not be so hasty. He was hasty last time, how much good did that do? One single day of freedom and back to the statue! Well, can you blame him? You too would be dying to cause some mayhem if you have been locked up for that many centuries. But he had his fix yesterday, already.

No, this time he's gonna be patient. This time he's gonna make it last.

He's gonna have plenty of time to drown Equestria in chaos once he makes sure that ALL Elements are sent to kingdom come.

Oh, my! He can barely wait!

* * *

**Author's Notes: I just received my Avengers Assembled Tesseract Suitcase Blu-Ray Box Set HOLY SHIT!**

**It has all the movies in Blu-Ray, plus an extra disc of Special Features, and PROPS! OMG, So many props! Phil Coulson calling card, Aldrich Killian calling card (as seem on the flashback sequence on IM3), Steve Rogers' 4F, the first schematics of the Iron Man armor that Tony shows Yinsen on the cave, Natasha and Clint's files, Label of the Guarana factory that Bruce works for in TIH, Jane Foster security badge, "Donald Blake" driver's license, and so much other sweet shit, I can't believe it!**

**I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY! (The handle of the suitcase is ridiculously tiny and the secret website of secret stuff doesn't accept my ZIP code because I live outside the US BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT)  
**

**If this Box Set was a woman I would ask it to marry me.**

**And then it would laugh at my face and run away to Hawaii with someone who's richer and better looking.**

**And then I would be arrested, because since I ordered it on the internet to be delivered to me, this constitutes as Human Trafficking which is illegal.**

**I think I kind of messed up my metaphor...**

**(If it takes a while for me to update the next chapter is because I'm busy playing with my Tesseract replica like I'm 5 years old)**


	8. Welcome to The Big Apple

**Sorry for the delay.**

**I went to a convenience store the other day and, on the bargain Blu-Ray shelves, they had the Twilight movie (here called "Crepúsculo") and _right next t__o it_ they had a Whitney Houston movie called Sparkle (here called "Sparkle"). It was definitely not on purpose (because Twilight has the Portuguese translated name in the cover, which _kinda _ruins the joke) but I found it hilarious.**

* * *

**Two things about the previous chapter:**

**1) If you want to know the rhythm of the "Happy Send Them Back To Home Portal Stuff Thingy" song, I wrote it humming _Mary Poppins' _"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious". (I can type Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious without looking it up. Is that a good thing?)**

**2) To make Rainbow Stark's Fairly Oddparents joke, I googled Jorgen and Trixie to make sure I got their names right. Here's a thing about me: when I google a character, I google it in 'Images' rather than the normal search. The very first page of Trixie Tang's Image search is composed almost entirely of pornographic fanart. I find that hilarious and telling. I'm not sure of what it's telling, but is definitely telling of something.**

**PS: According to the Special Features on the Avengers Assembled Box Set, Clint Barton was originally supposed to be in the Guarana Factory scene in The Incredible Hulk. (and they misspelled Heimdall's name)  
**

* * *

**"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one'."**

**"To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it"**

**"I have no duty to be anyone's Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival."**

**Excerpts from _The Four Loves _by C. S. Lewis**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**WELCOME TO THE BIG APPLE  
**

"So, what's for dinner?" Dash arrives in the kitchen, rubbing her tummy.

"Well, considering that you're ponies, we assumed you're vegetarians" Pepper says "So, corn"

"I love corn!" Dash says, sitting on the table "Do you have cider?" Dash tries to reach a corn cob, but Twilight slaps her hand "Ouch! What's that for?"

"We shouldn't eat until everypony is here, Rainbow Dash" Twilight explains "Clint, Selvig, and Steve didn't arrive yet"

"Dr. Selvig is still tinkering with the cube downstairs. I'm not sure if Clint will be here. He probably will spend the night in the Helicarrier" Natasha says "I don't know about Steve, though"

_"I'm afraid I must inform you" _Jarvis interrupted them "_that Captain Rogers seems to be having problems in the bathroom"_

"TMI, Jarvis. TMI" Bruce says

_"That's not the kind of problems I'm referring to, Dr. Banner" _Jarvis said _"He's panicking and doesn't seem to know how to unlock the door"_

"Well... that's odd" Banner says "Couldn't you unlock it for him?"

"_Yes, I could" _Jarvis answers _"But I don't think it would be recommendable for Captain Rogers to leave the bathroom alone on his current state of mind. Especially, considering that he's not Captain Rogers"_

"What?!"

"_According to my scan, Captain Rogers has suffered another inter-dimensional body exchange"_

"And when were you planning to tell us that?" Banner asks

"_I just did"_

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Steve Rogers, who's now Applejack, screams, knocking on the bathroom's wooden door.

She gives another strong knock. So strong, it cracks a hole in the door, startling the people (and ponies) who were now on the other side.

"Calm down, Steve… or whoever you are" Bruce addresses Apple Rogers "I'll unlock the door… We ain't gonna hurt you…"

Apple Rogers takes a peek through the hole "W-who… _what_ the hay are ya?"

"Don't be alarmed. We're friends" Bruce says unlocking the door

Before he can open it fully, Apple Rogers bursts through it, jumping over Bruce, pinning him down "WHAT ARE YA? WHAT Y'ALL DID TO ME? WHERE AM I?" she shouts

"Y-you are making me nervous" Bruce says, breathing heavily "Please, stop. You **_don't _**want to make me nervous…"

"Is that a threat?!" Apple Rogers shouts

"A friendly warning" Bruce says "Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry"

Apple Rogers sneers "Just ya know I've lassoed wild bulls that were scarier than y'all. Granny Smith didn't raise a fraidy cat"

"Believe me, I'm no wild bull" Bruce says, trying to keep his heart rate steady

"Applejack?" Twilight asks

Apple Rogers turns her head towards the caped man "I don't care who ya are or how ya know my name, but if ya take one more…"

"Applejack! It's me, Twilight!"

Apple Rogers just blinks "No, y're not"

"And why is that?" Tony Dash chimes in "Because she doesn't look like Twilight? Well, I don't look like Rainbow Dash and neither do you look like Applejack. But, still, you are Applejack, aren't you?"

"Twilight? Rainbow Dash?" Apple Rogers asks, tears forming into the corner of her eyes "Oh my gosh. I thought ya were gone forever" she says, hugging Twilight. Pepper just watches, smiling "Hey, y're lookin' good!" she says, talking about Thor's/Twilight's outfit.

"Heh, thanks" Twilight laughs

"What about me?" Tony Dash says, opening her arms "Do I receive a warm reception or not?"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, I…" Apple Rogers run to Dash's arms, but stopped in her tracks. "I… I'm very happy to see ya again" she shakes Dash's hand, displaying a nervous, forced smile.

Dash shoots her an annoyed look "That's it?! A hoofshake?! That's all I get? Do I have chicken pox or something?"

"Uh… no, of course not" Apple Rogers says, and reluctantly hugs Tony Dash

"That's more like it!" Dash says with a smile, still hugging her friend

Apple Rogers sweats nervously. _Darn ya, Stark, for making me feel uncomfortable about hugging my own friend_ she thinks, keeping her pelvis as far as possible from Tony Dash's

"Wait a minute…" she suddenly says "Ya Tony Stark, right? This is his body, right? _His face_, right?"

"Yeah" Tony Dash chuckles "I'm all Stark now. Why, did you—?"

POW!

Tony Dash is propelled to the other side of the room, knocked hard by the punch Apple Rogers delivered to her face

"TONY!" Pepper screams

"Applejack!" Twilight shouts, shocked

"Oh, my gosh!" Apple Rogers says "I'm powerful sorry, Rainbow Dash. I didn't know I was this strong…"

"WHAT THE HAY WAS THAT FOR?" Tony Dash shouts, trying to get up with a bleeding nose

"I'm sorry! Is just that… I wanted to be sure that, once Stark was back on his body, his face wouldn't be so 'unharmed and handsome'"

"Well, once we're back, I'll make sure your face won't be so pretty either" Dash says, annoyed

"I said I was sorry"

"Look, Applejack" Twilight says "I'm sure that Stark may have been a pain to you while I was gone, but trust me, he's not that bad"

"Not that bad? And how would ya know that?"

"His friends told me"

"Friends?"

"Applejack, right?" Pepper addresses her "Look, I'm sure that Tony did something to deserve that kind of reaction, and I know how this whole situation must be so confusing and frightening to you…"

"Yeah, it really is confu—"

SLAP!

Apple Rogers stares in shock at Pepper who just delivered a strong slap in her now stinging cheek.

"…but no one, **_no one_** hurts my Tony" Pepper concluded "Now, are you hungry? Dinner's on the table. Hope you like corn"

"Y-yeah, I… I am... I like corn..." Apple Rogers mumbled, still in shock, caressing her cheek and following the group to the kitchen.

"So, you're the famous Applejack, huh?" Bruce says

"Famous?" Apple Rogers says, confused

"Rainbow Dash talked a lot about you on her first hours here" Bruce explains "She was worried we did something to you. You have a very loyal friend"

"Yeah, that's Rainbow Dash" she said with a smile "Sorry for tacklin' ya, by the way"

"Yeah, about that" Bruce says "I was serious. Don't make me angry. I don't want to sound threatening, but it's a really bad idea to make me angry"

"Uh… okay" Apple says in a mix of confusion, suspicion, and curiosity

As they arrive in the kitchen, they see Clint sitting on the table, eating corn.

"Hey, I was wondering where you guys were" Clint says with his mouth full

Dash shots Twilight an annoyed look, as if complaining for her not letting her eat.

"Clint! I thought you would stay in the Helicarrier" Natasha says

"Oh, yeah… I don't know what I was thinking!" Clint replies "Why would I trade those marvelous standard military meals and tiny, barely comfortable bunks for this crude homemade food and cheap Egyptian silk beds that Stark has? I should totally have stayed in the Helicarrier"

"Who's that?" Apple Rogers says "Actually, who's everypony? I didn't get their names..."

"That's Clint, Applejack" Twilight says "He's one of Stark's friends"

"What? Wait… I knew it!" Clint says "I asked him if he was feeling like eating hay, but he didn't listen. I knew he would be swapped! Are you another girl pony?"

"Uh… yes, I am" Apple Rogers says

"Is there any boys in your group?" Natasha asks

"Not really" Apple Rogers says "Unless you count Spike"

"Okay" Natasha says, raising her hand "Who wanna bet that, when my turn comes, I'll be swapped with this Spike guy?"

"Let's hope there is no next turn" Bruce says "Say, Applejack, did Tony managed to un-jam the portal?"

"Un-jam?"

"Dear Celestia! Discord!" Twilight suddenly exclaims "Applejack! How's things back home? Did you capture Discord?"

"Discord?" Apple Rogers asks "We defeated him yesterday! Don't ya remember? Did the mind swap give ya magnesia?"

"Amnesia" Twilight corrects

"That too?!"

"No! I didn't forget anything, Applejack" Twilight says "We believe he escaped his stone prison"

"That's ridiculous!" Apple Rogers rebuts "He didn't escape! If he did, I think I'd notice it. I think _everypony _would notice it. Why do ya think he escaped?"

"Loki said there was an aura of chaos disrupting the portal" Twilight explains "And the only thing I know that can—"

"Loki?" Apple Rogers interrupts "You mean Thor's brother?"

"Exactly!" Twilight said

"The pony molester?" Apple Rogers continues

Clint chokes on his water.

"Pony molester?" Tony Dash asks

"That's what Stark said" Apple continues "He said that Thor's brother would molest us if he was there"

_"I believe Mr. Stark was making a debatably amusing reference to the myth of Sleipnir"_

"Oh my gosh! Who's that?" Apple Rogers shouts

_"I'm Jarvis, Madam"_

"Are ya a ghost?" Apple asks, still shaken

_"Yes"_

"JARVIS!" Pepper yells "Don't mind Jarvis, Applejack, he's just joking. He's not a ghost, he's a computer"

"COMPUTERS CAN'T JOKE!" Apple Rogers shouts

"Stark's computers can!" Twilight, Dash, Clint, Natasha, and Steve said almost in unison.

_"I must protest to being referred as simply another one of Master Stark's computers" _Jarvis said in an almost insulted tone "_I'm unique and I would like you to acknowledge that"_

"Shoot!" Apple says "So… he's a computer? A computer that can joke?"

"That's nothing!" Dash says "Jarvis, show her one of those holo-whatever!"

"_Anything specific you desire?"_

"What you got?"

_"How about 2010 New Year's Celebration in Times Square?"_

"Sure. Shoot it!"

_"As you wish"_

As soon as he said that, the room was invaded by holographic fireworks, with loud cheers, and people singing and laughing. Apple Rogers looks dumbfounded by all. Dash displays a look of pure glee.

"This. Is. AWESOME!" she shouts "Twilight, I want a Jarvis! You can make me a Jarvis, right?"

"Uh… sure" Twilight, who was anything **_but_** sure, answered Dash

"Sweet!"

As the holographic presentation ends, Apple Rogers stutters "T-this w-was… it was… Stark made this?!"

"Yeah…" Twilight says in a tone that made it sound like she was accepting defeat "He really is everything he said he was… he's a genius"

"…and famous" Dash says

"…and rich" Twilight continues

"…and handsome" Apple Rogers concludes

All eyes turn to her "You think he's handsome?" Twilight asks

Apple Rogers blushes "N-no! Of course not! Imagine that" she gives in an incredibly bad forced smile. Remember what I said in the first chapter about her being a shitty liar? "So… about Discord and that Loki fella..." she desperately tries to change the subject.

"Uh… yeah, Loki said there was an aura of chaos preventing the portal to revert everypony back" Twilight explains "He said it was coming from our side. You sure Discord isn't free?"

"Twilight, it's Discord" Apple Rogers says "Do ya really think he wouldn't make himself known if he was free?"

"Well, whether it's Discord or not, it's now up to Stark to solve everything" Dash says "We can't do anything from this side"

"…and I don't know what Stark can do without me" Twilight says "He needs somepony who's skilled in magic not only to power up the gems but also to dissipate whichever kind of magic is disrupting the portal"

"Well, Rarity could…" Dash starts

"Rarity declined" Apple interrupts "She didn't think she was good enough… That's why Stark made a deal with Trixie…"

"WHAT?!" Dash shouts

"Trixie?!" Twilight asks, dumbfounded

"How could he make a deal with that… that… ARGH!" Dash screams, angry and frustrated "What kind of deal? Why did you let him do it?"

"We had our hooves tied!" Apple protests "She was our only hope to get ya guys out of here!"

"And it worked splendidly, didn't it?" Dash sneered "That's what you get having that phony help you…"

"Yeah, because when Twilight did it, it all went fine, right?" Apple Rogers retorts "No offense, Twilight"

"None taken, Applejack" Twilight says "It's obvious that it was the aura of chaos and not Trixie who…"

"You're defending her?!" Dash shouts "Why the hay are you two defending her?!"

"Excuse me" Banner interrupts "I'm sensing some bad blood here. What's your problem with this Trixie girl?"

"Trixie is… well… she makes magic shows" Twilight says

"SHE SHOWS OFF!" Dash shouts "She's an attention seeker! And a liar too! She kept saying that she was better than everypony else and tried to humiliate us! She's an annoying mule!"

"Wait, that's it?" Natasha asks

"I'd rather be stuck here forever than to owe anything to that attention horse" Dash frowns

"Well, Loki brainwashed Clint and Selvig to do his bidding, caused our NASA facility to cave in, killing 80 of our fellow agents, he later stabbed a man in the eye, killing him, tried to kill an old man who dared to oppose him, almost destroyed the Helicarrier, promised me he would force Clint to kill me and then free him from his spell just so he would know what he did **_before_** Loki could 'split his skull'. After this, he tried to kill Stark, he tried to kill Thor, his own brother, and he stabbed a close friend of ours in the back. And I didn't even mention the war he started to enslave us which caused the deaths of millions of innocent civilians. And this afternoon we asked him for help" Natasha says "So, yeah, I'd say our 'Deal with the Devil' is a _little_ worse than yours"

Twilight gulps. She already knew Loki was bad news, but **_this_**? How can somepony be so… so **_cruel_**? She has faced evil before, but not even close to this scale.

Apple gasps, shocked. Loki did all that? All those horrible things? And to top it off, he's a molester too?

Dash hangs her head in shame "I-I guess I overreacted… I'm sorry…"

After a few moments of silence, Banner speaks "Let's not talk about this right now. We're all tired and it was a long day for everyone and everypony. Let's eat"

"Oh, so you're going to eat without me, huh?" Erik Selvig says, arriving at the kitchen

Everyone just stares at him in silence. Apple Rogers looks puzzled.

"What? Is anything wrong?" Selvig asks "Did I miss something?"

"Oh, boy" Bruce sighs

After they explain everything to Selvig, and Apple Rogers is finally introduced to everyone whose name she didn't catch, they eat. Twilight and Dash keep trying to talk with Apple about how things are back home, but she's most dismissive. There's something wrong. She's happy for seeing her friends again, but… she's **not** seeing them again! That's not how they look! That's not how they sound! There's nothing that tells her that those are really Rainbow Dash and Twilight other than their word. And she trusts their word. But… how do you expect her to stop missing them, when she can't see them; when she can't hear them? They're here but they might as well not. Stuck forever in strange bodies with strange faces. This is wrong! This doesn't feel right! Why? Why couldn't everything go back to normal?

After they finish eating, they say their goodnights. Apple Rogers gives Twilight and, reluctantly again, Dash a tight hug, and goes to Steve Rogers' bedroom, guided by Natasha. Lying down in the bed, Apple Rogers is restless. This was a horrible day. Rainbow Dash disappeared, somepony named Stark was in her place, he insulted Twilight, made her cry, and made her disappear too. And now she's in a stranger's body in a strange world full of strange creatures, far from home, far from her friends, far from her family. No way to know if she'll ever be back. If she'll ever see her friends again. If she'll ever see her little sister's smile when she gets her Cutie Mark. She wonders what it could be. Powerless and exiled. She finally knows how Thor feels…

She closes her eyes, wishing that all of this was nothing but a horrible nightmare, wishing that, once she opens her eyes again, everything will be back to normal…

_Hey, Applejack! Wake up!_

"What…?" Applejack mumbles, rubbing her eyes.

"Wake-wakey, you ate too much cakey"

Applejack opens her eyes to see Twilight and Pinkie looking at her "I-I'm back?"

"You're back!" Pinkie shouts with a smile.

"Ya… you're not Thor?" she asks Twilight

"Who? Me? No" Twilight chuckles "If anypony here is tore, it's you"

"Me? I…" Applejack looks at her hooves… they're hooves! She's Applejack again! No longer Apple Rogers! "I'm back!"

"Yeah… uh… You already said that" Twilight says

"She's loco in the coco" Pinkie audibly whispers to Twilight

"But… how? How did I came back?"

"Back from where, Applejack?" Twilight asks

"The Man world!"

"What's the mane world?" Twilight asks "An amusement park?"

"I told you she ate too much cake" Pinkie says

"Applejack, we didn't go to an amusement park" Twilight continues "The party was here, remember?"

"Party? What party?"

"Your birthday party, silly" Pinkie says "You ate so much cake yesterday that you went KAPLOFT in the floor!"

"My birthday? Yesterday? No! Yesterday wasn't my birthday!" Applejack protests "Yesterday we defeated Discord!"

"Who's Discord?" Twilight asks confused

"The brother of Discard and Concord" Pinkie giggles

"What?" Applejack shouts "What do ya mean who's Discord? The big, mean chaos-maker! He almost destroyed our friendship! He almost destroyed Equestria! H-he… got rid of Rainbow Dash and…"

"Applejack, calm down" Twilight comforts her "There is no Discord. Nopony got sent anywhere. It was just a nightmare"

"A-a nightmare?"

"Yeah, you ate too much jack, Applecake" Pinkie says a third time

_A nightmare? Could it be? I don't remember a party at all...  
_

"But… it was so real…" Applejack continues "We had to use the Elements of Harmony to defeat Discord and then Rainbow Dash's necklace shot a burst of light and then she was no longer Rainbow... She was somepony else… And then ya were somepony else too…"

"That's a really crazy dream" Twilight says

"It didn't feel like a dream! It was… it was horrible!" Applejack hugs her two friends tight

"There, there" Twilight pats her in the back "It's all over now"

Applejack tears up with happiness "Ya guys wouldn't believe how crazy it was. I was traded next, and I arrived in this weird world ruled by creatures that stand on their hind hooves, have all the same pale pinkish skin like a bunch of zombies, and have these meaty finger-like sticks on their hooves. And ya were there too, Twilight, with Rainbow Dash, but ya didn't look like ya, ya were one of them and so was I. And we would stay like that forever, because ya didn't have ya magic, and Rainbow didn't have her wings and we couldn't come back…"

"Well, whatever that place was, it sounds awful" Applejack turns her head to see Rainbow Dash arriving through the door "I'm glad you're here, Applejack"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, I'm so glad ya are here, too!" Applejack says, hugging her friend

"No, you don't understand" Rainbow Dash says, softly "I'm **very glad** you're here"

"What do ya mean?" Applejack asks, confused. She gets her answer with a shock as Rainbow Dash starts to lick her face.

Apple Rogers wakes up, flushed and sweating "DARN YA, STARK!" she screams

She turns to look at the digital clock in the wall: 04:58 AM. Groaning, she gets up.

She moves towards the kitchen, wanting to grab herself a snack, when she sees an eerie blue glow coming from the living room. Once she arrives, she finds Bruce Banner alone, studying a holographic schematic of Stark's chest reactor.

Bruce sees her "Oh, hi there"

"Hi" Apple Rogers greets back "Trouble sleeping?"

"Was about to ask you the same thing"

"I live in a farm. We get up early" she says. Well, it is true…

"Of course" Bruce says

"And you?"

"I'm studying the reactor to see if…" Bruce pauses "Actually, I'm afraid to go to sleep…"

Apple is surprised "Ya are? Why?"

"It's the first time in months that I share a roof with someone else" Bruce explains "I worry that if I sleep… I could have a nightmare…"

"That's it?!" Apple chuckles "Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh… But… everypony have nightmares every now and then, it's nothing to—"

"You don't get it" Bruce says "If I have a nightmare, it could put everyone here in danger!"

"So, if ya have a nightmare, you endanger everypony?" Apple's confused. This Bruce Banner is an enigma "So, ya don't sleep?"

"Of course I sleep" Bruce says "I have to. Lack of sleep makes one irritable and easy to anger, and I can't. Be. Angry. So, of course I sleep. But, usually, I try to avoid sleeping when others are around. So, no one can get hurt if I…" Bruce takes a look at Apple Rogers, who seems slightly disturbed "Am I scaring you?"

Apple makes a 'kinda' movement with her head.

"I wish I could say you shouldn't be afraid of me… but that would be a lie…"

"Can I be honest?" Apple says "Ya don't _seem _dangerous. I mean, lookin' at ya, I don't think ya would ever harm anypony"

Bruce gives in a sad smile "Well, looks can be deceiving. We all have our inner monsters…"

"Is that the problem?" Apple asks "Did ya do something bad? We all make mistakes, but we need to learn how to forgive ourselves. Don't be so hard on ya"

Bruce chuckles "You're reminding me of Tony"

"Hey! No need for insults!" Apple says in a playful manner

Bruce smiles "He's been difficult to you, hasn't he?"

"That's an understatement"

"He has a good heart though"

"You're the second… uh… _man_ to tell me that"

"Thor?" Bruce asks

"Yeah. Tell me: how did ya guys became friends? I mean, Stark is so infuriating…"

"Well, I have practice trying not to be infuriated, so that may have helped" Bruce laughs "But, he never demonstrated to be scared of me… and, for once, that was nice…"

"I'm not scared of ya either" Apple says "Does that make us friends?"

"Maybe" Bruce smiles "The difference is that Stark knew what I could do. You don't"

"And what can you do, Mr. Mystery?"

Bruce pauses for a few seconds "Pancakes" he says

"What?" Apple asks, confused

"I'm hungry. Do you like pancakes? I'll make some for us"

"Ya cook?"

"I find it relaxing"

Nearly two hours later, Twilight Odinson and Tony Dash woke up and met on the hallway. Going towards the kitchen, they hear some chatter…

"He gave ya a shock?! And ya were okay with it?!"

"He was just teasing me. It's what he does"

"If it was me, I would have kicked him"

"What? None of your friends ever played a prank on you?"

"Well, yeah, but… Stark's not my friend!"

"Well, he is _my _friend"

"But… ya said ya just met when he shocked ya!"

"Well…" Bruce stops when he sees Dash and Twilight "Hey there! You're hungry? We made pancakes"

"Uh… sure" Twilight says, taking a seat next to Apple Rogers

"I have some orange juice too" Bruce says "Want some?"

"Just water, thanks"

"Water for me too" Dash says, taking a seat on Apple's left

"As you wish" Bruce says, giving them two glasses of water and some pancakes "Well, I think the three friends have some catch up to do, so I'll leave you girls alone" and so he does.

"I don't understand why he thinks he's so dangerous" Apple said, after Bruce left "He seems like such a nice fella"

"Apparently, he has a condition of some sort" Twilight says "At least, that's what he told us yesterday"

"Well, he left us alone so we would catch up on things, so let's do just that" Dash says "How are things back home? You didn't talk much last night…"

"I… I just didn't want to talk about it…" Apple sighs

"Why? Is it because of Stark?" Twilight asks her friend "Was he insulting you again? I know it must be hard, but…"

"Insultin' me? Worse than that" Apple Rogers interrupts "He was complimentin' me…"

Tony Dash and Twilight Odinson changed confused glances "And that's... bad?" Dash asks

"It's the way he said it"

"And how did he say it?" asked Twilight

"Well…" Apple Rogers starts "First, he apologized for being a jerk, then he said I was a very loyal friend, full of good character and with a nice physique… and then… well… he said it would be nice to trot under the moonlight and then something happened… actually, it didn't. It almost did, but it didn't... It's not important. Let's skip this part"

Dash and Twilight stare quizzically at her

"Anyways" she continues, sweating nervously "He went back to his 'normal' way for a while when we went to talk with Trixie, but still a little nicer than he was before. Then, on our way back, I tried to start a conversation with him and it was nice for a while, but then he became a jerk again and I said it to him! I shouldn't have… because it got worse. In between his usual insults, he would talk about tender moments we had, or about how beautiful I was… and just before I fainted to wake up here, he kissed me in the cheek and called me 'sugar cube'…"

"Oh… wow…" is all Twilight manages to say

"He was flirting with you?" Dash asks and laughs out loud "_Applejack has a love-er"_

"He was flirtin' with me _while he was ya_" Applejack replies

"Oh" Dash says "oh" she repeats, thoughtful "OH!" she shouts as the implications sank in

"Is that why you were acting so uncomfortable near Rainbow?" Twilight asks

"He knew it would make me uncomfortable. That's why he kept doing it"

"If I ever put my hooves on him…" Tony Dash says. She looks at her clenched fist. After a few seconds, she punches herself in the face "OUCH! This hurts! This was stupid! Why did I do this?"

"Yeah, Stark's a pest" Twilight says "He was just trying to make you feel embarrassed"

"I know but… it kinda messed with me, ya know?"

"Hey, he was just pulling your hoof" Dash says "If it will make you more comfortable to be around me: I, Rainbow Dash, solemnly declare that I am not attracted to you, Applejack"

"Of course ya not! That's ridiculous…"

"It's something else that's bothering you" Twilight remarks

Apple blushes "I-I had a dream…"

"So…?" Twilight asks

"…with Rainbow…"

"What…" Twilight looks confused, but, slowly, realization sinks in "Oh… **_that_** kind of dream?"

"Ye—No! I mean… it wasn't like that… I…"

"Wait... You had a dream… **_with me?_**" Dash asks

Apple Rogers mumbles something incomprehensible.

"Oh my gosh! _**You**_ are attracted to **_me_**!" Dash says with a laugh

"NO, I'M NOT" Apple Rogers shouts angry and blushing

"It's okay, Applejack" Dash says "Even though I'm sad with the end of our friendship, I understand. I'm astoundingly beautiful. You just couldn't resist"

"Ya know" Apple Rogers frowns "I'm starting to think ya and Stark deserve each other"

"She and Stark deserve each other?" Twilight asks "But I thought _you _were Stark's marefriend"

"Twilight! You too?" Apple Rogers says

"Sorry" Twilight says, trying to hide her smile

"I should be the one apologizing, Twilight" Dash says, barely keeping a straight face "I should know better than to release my charms. They have wrecked homes before. You could be the next victim. Run while there's time"

"It wasn't ya charms!" Apple Rogers says, annoyed "It was Stark's!"

"So, you admit to be in love with Stark?" Tony Dash teased

"NO!" Apple Rogers shouts

"You have to choose, Applejack. You can't have both" Twilight says, tears already falling through the corner of her eyes as she bites her lip, trying not to laugh

"I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH ANYPONY!"

"Denial" Twilight Odinson and Tony Dash say in unison

"ARGH!" Apple Rogers screams frustrated "Just one minute ago, ya were mad at Stark, and now ya are doing this?! **_Why?!_**"

"Calm down, Applejack" Dash says with a smile "We're just teasing you. It's what friends do"

_He was just teasing me. It's what he does. _Bruce's words echo in her head. Could it be that all those annoying quips were Stark's misguided way to try and reach their friendship?

"Teasin' is what friends do, huh?" Apple Rogers says "So ya girls think that Stark may have been tryin' to befriend us with all his stupid jokes?"

"I don't know. Never met the guy" Dash says "I keep hearing conflicting stories about his character…"

"Well, it could be" Twilight says, trying to keep an open mind about Stark "Some ponies have very weird ways to demonstrate affection…"

"Yeah… maybe he truly likes me… **_US! _**Maybe he truly likes us!" Apple says

_"Tony Stark and Applejack sitting in a tree…" _Dash starts to sing

"…K-I-C-K-I-N-G ya face if ya don't stop this" Apple Rogers says, angry

"Ok, ok, I'll stop" Dash says "We're still friends?"

Apple mockingly looks like she's considering it before smiling "Of course, ya dummy"

"Friends forever?" Twilight raises her glass

"Friends forever!" they toast with their water glasses

"Ok, now, give me a kiss" Tony Dash tells Apple Rogers

Apple throws the water of her glass on Dash's face "Jerk!"

Dash and Twilight laugh while Apple frowns. After a few seconds, she starts to laugh too and holds her two friends under her arms "I missed ya guys" she says

Dash and Twilight wink at each other and empty their glasses on Apple's head "Missed you too!" they say in unison

"Hey! You're gonna wet the pancakes!" the still giggling friends turn to see Clint arriving at the kitchen "You may like wet pancakes back where you're from, but here, on the civilized world, we like them dry and hot, maybe with honey and/or butter on top, thank you very much"

It didn't take long for everyone else to arrive and have their breakfast. The three friends spent most of the time talking about trivial things and what they found most bewildering about this new world.

"So, when are we gonna try to go back, anyways?" Apple Rogers finally says

Bruce sighs "Dr. Selvig and I have been studying the machinery inside out. The only breakthrough we had is that it would be possible to sustain the portal indefinitely without a power source once we charge it up long enough. But the only thing that would do is create a self-sustaining portal that keeps switching people. As long as your side is jammed, we can't do anything from here"

"Says who?" Apple says

"Applejack, the portal is blocked by Equestria's side" Twilight says "What **can** we do?"

"Back in Sweet Apple Acres, when the barn doors are stuck and there's nopony inside to unblock it" Apple says "I kick and kick until I force it open"

"I don't see how this—"

"Wait! She may have a point" Bruce says

"She does?" Twilight asks

"Yeah, why can't we try to dissipate the aura from here?" Bruce says "If we can connect to another dimension, why can't we _push _our way in?"

"But how?" Clint asks

"Loki. How else?" Bruce answers

They were still discussing it, but Twilight wasn't paying attention. Dissipate it from this side… Why not? How come she didn't think of that? How come they didn't even try it? It's such an obvious solution! It was the logical next step! It's… It's…

…_a deduction anyone with even an average intelligence could make_

…a deduction Applejack made. They were just going to sit around and wait. **_She_** was just going to sit around and wait! She just accepted that it was useless, without questioning it, because they told her so...

_I told you, Stark. It's useless. There's nothing in the books that…_

...and she just sat around and waited. She, with all her knowledge, couldn't come up with that simple idea, while Applejack could. It's a problem none of them smarty-pants had encountered before, and the humble farmer came with the answer. They would waste days trying to understand the portal and all Applejack had to do was compare it to the barn doors of her farm…

_Someone who's intelligent can apply the knowledge they acquired in previous experiences to solve a completely new problem_

Maybe Stark is right… Maybe she's not as intelligent as she liked to believe…

"So, it's settled, then" Clint says "We contact Fury to get our little magic prisoner down here again to see if he can hocus pocus our way in"

As they move to the living room to contact SHIELD by Jarvis' holographic screen, Bruce notices Twilight looking a bit down.

"Is everything okay?" he asks

"Applejack is smarter than me…" she says

"If you say so" Bruce says

"I always fancied myself the brains of our gang, but… this was so obvious! It went right over my head! I'm so dumb!"

"Hey! I didn't think about it either until your friend suggested it. Do you think I'm dumb? I don't think I'm dumb. I don't feel dumb. Just because someone can get to a conclusion before you do, doesn't mean you're dumb. Why do you think you're dumb?"

"Stark said that I just know what I read… that I can't think for myself… that I can't get to a conclusion unless it's in a book…"

"Tony thinks everyone is dumber than him"

"Yeah, but… he's right, you know" Twilight says, with a faint smile "He **_is_** smarter than everypony else"

"I guess" Bruce laughs "But let me tell you something… You're letting him get to you. You shouldn't. He's testing you. If he quips, you quip back. Don't apologize, don't explain yourself. Don't try to put him in his place because you're gonna fail. **_Hard_**. Just play along. That's the only way you're gonna gain his respect"

"Thanks" Twilight smiled "I'll try to remember that"

"_Ponies? What do you mean they're ponies?"_

"We're not saying that they're ponies" Nick Fury addresses the members of the World Security Council "While Deputy Hill did hear the alien entities being referred to as ponies and horses by Loki and Captain Rogers, we believe it may just be that their race have attributes that are similar to our equine species. It doesn't mean that they're actually horses"

The World Security Council was a council dedicated to world security. Duh. They were the big shots and the bosses of Nick Fury and SHIELD. They usually communicate with Fury through video-conference in badly-lit rooms. The badly-lit rooms are not to conceal their identity or to add mystery, but to save in electricity. Hey, you too would try to save as much as you can after you blew a shitload of money to build an invisible flying aircraft carrier!

The WSC main activities are:

1) Skyping in the dark

2) Annoying Nick Fury

3) Making stupid-ass decisions

"_Director Fury" _a councilmember said "_This whole thing is overblown already. We have our hands full dealing with the criminal Loki and the damage control. We didn't need some stupid inter-dimensional body transference on top of that"_

"I'm sorry if the works of fate are being inconvenient to you, sir" Nick Fury replies

_"No need for insubordination, Director Fury" _the councilwoman said "_You are in serious danger of being demoted after disobeying our orders two days ago, so ,I'd suggest you…"_

"If I had followed your orders, we would be calling the City of New York 'Ground Zero' right about now" Fury replies "So, **_I'd _**suggest you'd trust my judgment for once, and try to solve our problem **_without_** causing a nuclear holocaust"

The Council stays silent for a moment "_Don't forget who gave you this position, Director Fury" _one of them finally says

"And don't forget why you did" Fury replies "Will that be all?"

"_For now" _the Council finishes their transmission. Right before the last screen blacks out, Fury can hear one of them scoff "_Ponies…"_

Nick Fury massages his temples, trying to relax. God, he hates these motherfuckers.

"Sir, we are receiving a signal from the Stark Tower" Maria Hill informs

"Put it on the screen" the screen lights up, and showcases everyone in the Stark Tower living room "Nick Fury here. You have something to report?"

_Something to report? _This reminds Twilight that she would have a lot to report about to Princess Celestia once she's back.

_"Yes, sir" _Clint says "_We believe we've found a possible…"_

_"Are ya a pirate?" _Apple Rogers interrupts

Fury facepalms "I'm NOT a pirate! Please, tell me this is a joke and Rogers didn't become another horse. If this **is** a joke, what the hell is wrong with you all? Grow up"

"_This is Applejack, sir_" Bruce explains "_She's the one who gave us the idea that we may be able to use Loki to dissipate the magic barrier from this end"_

"Any reason you didn't try this yesterday?"

_"We… hadn't thought about it yesterday"_

"And they call themselves genius…" Fury says under his breath "So, you guarantee that if we send Loki down **_this time_**, everything will be back to normal?"

"_Guarantee? No… I mean…" _Bruce starts

"_It's our best shot, sir" _Clint says

Fury ponders for a second "Alright. Barton, come aboard. You'll escort Hill and Loki down. Over"

"_Over and out, sir"_

"With all due respect, sir" Hill says, after the transmission ends "I'm a big girl. I don't need Agent Barton to…"

"HILL!" Fury shouts "This is not about whether you can defend yourself or not! I'm not, I repeat, NOT gonna let an agent of mine alone with the magic sociopath! Is that clear?"

"Y-yes, sir" Hill answers, slightly surprised by Fury's outburst

A few minutes later, Hill and Barton arrive at Loki's cell

"You know" Loki says with a smirk "I've never felt as requested as I did these last days. I think I should try to enslave worlds more often… Was there another swap?"

"Yes. But that's not why we're here" Hill says "We want you to…"

"Who got swapped?" Loki asks

"Why do you want to know?" Clint asks

"Curiosity"

"It was Rogers" Hill answers

"Oh, the soldier…" Loki begins to muse to himself

"As we were saying, we need you to come back down, so you can stabilize the portal and…"

"Actually, Dr. Selvig already found way to make the portal self-sustainable, we just…" Clint says

"Oh, he did?" Loki says, suddenly very interested "Still, self-sustainable or not, there's still the issue of the aura of Chaos, so I don't see what good…"

"Dr. Banner believes that you may be able to dissipate the aura from this side" Hill says

Loki gives in a look of someone who was caught doing something naughty, but is still proud of it.

Clint notices it "You could do it all along, couldn't you, you bastard?"

Loki flinches at the mention of the word 'bastard' but quickly goes back to his cool demeanor "Yes, I could"

"You could!" Clint yells outraged "You knew it all along! And yet, you did…"

"I did nothing" Loki says with a smirk "Just like I told the good doctor"

"You son of a bitch…"

"Easy, Barton" Hill says "Now that we know he can do it, he can't delay us anymore"

"You still want to take me to the tower?" Loki asks, smiling "You sure that's a good idea?"

"Why? It almost sounds like you don't want to get out of here" Hill remarks

"Oh, But I do" Loki answers "I just want you to be aware of the exact moment you committed the worst mistake of your life"

"I don't like the sound of that" Clint remarked, apprehensive

"It's all bark, Barton" Hill said, showing the Shock Collar control on her hand "We have this one on the leash"

Loki smiles.

Minutes later, Clint was piloting the Quinjet back to Stark Tower, with Hill and Loki sitting opposite each other, Loki ever smiling. After they land on the roof, Loki moves towards the building access door with Clint and Hill following. Suddenly, he stops.

"Keep moving, Loki" Maria says

Loki doesn't move.

"I said MOVE!" Hill tries to push Loki, but her hand passes right through him, as his image flicker and disappear

"SHIT!" it's all Clint is able to say before Loki appears behind him and gives him a punch in the face.

In the same fraction of second, Loki grabs Hill's wrist and twists it, making her scream in pain and drop the control.

Clint recovers and counter-attacks, but Loki grabs his arm, throw him over his back, and stamps Clint in the face, rendering him unconscious.

Maria reaches the control, but Loki steps into her hand "Oh, no, you won't" putting all his weight on that foot, Loki crushes the control, hurting her hand, and, using the other foot, kicks Hill hard in the head, causing her to spit blood and pass out.

"Filthy quim" Loki says, ripping the collar off of his neck, and climbing down the stairs to meet the others.

* * *

**MARVEL FUN FACTS: (Bear with me. This will be a lengthy one... or just skip it all together) **

**TWILIGHT**

**Outside the mainstream Marvel Universe (Earth-616) there are many alternate universes like the Ultimates (Earth-1610) and the MCU (Earth-199999). In the middle of those alternate realities, there was Earth-148611, also known as the New Universe, where life was mostly normal until a White Event gave random people across the globe super-powers. One of those people was Lenore Fenzl, an elderly retired Latin teacher.  
**

**The first symptom of her mutation was a patch of grey skin. Worried, she showed it to one of the retirement home's healthcare assistants, who ended up losing consciousness, the same happened to a doctor. It turns out that her skin patch exhaled radiation that could steal people's energy, tranquilizing them and revitalizing her, thus making her younger. Much to her dismay, the grey discoloration grew to cover her whole body and give out a bright, blinding light. To prevent her powers from hurting her loved ones, Lenore covers herself head to toe in a grayish-purple trenchcoat, gloves, hat, shades and scarf.  
**

**Fenzl became a patient at the Clinic for Paranormal Research, where all people affected by the White Event were brought to. After finding out that the Director of the Clinic, Philip Nolan Voigt, was using the patients for his own nefarious schemes, Lenore and six other patients who she befriended escaped.  
**

**They were henceforth called the "Displaced Paranormal Seven". Lenore took the codename "Twilight".**

**They were recaptured however and mentally conditioned to never run away again. Except for David Landers, one of the DP7 who was immune to mind manipulation, who was able to freed his friends from the hypnosis and weed the corrupt staff out. Now a safer place for the patients, the DP7 decided to make the Clinic their new headquarters, and become the new staff.**

**During her stay in the clinic as part of the staff, Twilight grew a closer friendship to Jeff "Blur" Walters, who could move at superhuman speed, but could never stop. Twilight's energy drain powers were the only thing that could allow him to rest. Even though she loved helping Walters, her constant sessions with him made her become addicted to her power, and once she found herself trying to absorb energy from a young patient, she was disgusted and swore to never use her powers again, not even to help Walters. She broke that oath, however, when her friend Charlotte "Friction" Beck begged her to help stop a riot on the Clinic.  
**

**Lenore was later invited to join CIA's Paranormal Femme Force Five which consisted of her, and fellow DP7's Friction and Stephanie "Glitter" Harrington, plus newcomers Merriam "Sponge" Sorenson and Professor Jenny Swensen codenamed: Spitfire (she soon after changed her codename to the more appropriate Chrome. There's another character nicknamed Spitfire in the Main Marvel Universe though. I'll talk about her next).  
**

**Their very first mission ended in disaster however, as they were sent to the jungles of Brazil (Yay! My homeland!) to detain a monstrous creature at large. The blob-like monster tries to absorb them, causing them to desperately fight for their very lives. Twilight is engulfed by the creature as Glitter desperately tries to retrieve her from inside the monster, but can only find her clothes, her body nowhere to be found. Before she can continue her search, she passes out from exhaustion, believing to have failed her friends. When she wakes up, the monster had ran away, and everyone seems to be fine. Except for Twilight, who was nowhere to be seem. Glitter insists to search for her, but after three fruitless hours they return home, with Glitter overwhelmed by guilt and sorrow over the loss of Twilight.**

* * *

**SPITFIRE**

**Lady Jacqueline Falsworth was member of a traditional aristocratic British family. Her father, Lord James Falsworth, had fought in the first World War as the costumed soldier Union Jack. In 1942, Jacqueline was serving Britain's Women's Voluntary Service when she was attacked by her own uncle, the vampire Baron Blood.  
**

**Baron Blood was defeated by Invaders Union Jack and Captain America, but Jacqueline had lost a lot of blood after being bitten by him. They rushed her to a hospital where she received an emergency blood transfusion from another Invader, the original Human Torch android. (Why they picked the robot with artificial blood instead of someone else with real blood is beyond me). The Human Torch's artificial blood mixed with Baron Blood's vampire blood granted Jacqueline with super powers!**

**Fire-related powers? No. Just super-speed. She joined The Invaders and called herself Spitfire after the British war planes used on the period.**

**After the war ended, Spitfire retired from "superheroing" to marry nobleman Lord Crichton. Desiring a quiet life, she lied to her friends that her powers were fading away with her age. Years later, as a widow, Spitfire assemble Namorita, Captain America and the new Union Jack, Joey Chapman to aid the original Human Torch and Namor who were captured by the villain Master Man, therefore creating the New Invaders. Jacqueline was badly wounded in the battle and only survived thanks to another blood transfusion from the Torch, which this time caused a chemical process that de-aged her until she gained the appearance of a 16 year old girl (COMICS!).  
**

**Youthful again, Spitfire returned to the Superhero scene. She and the new Union Jack had a romantic relationship, but they broke up over the age difference.**

**Pfft. Like age difference ever mattered to Thor, Cap, or Edward Cullen.**

* * *

**LUNA**

**Luna Maximoff was the child of mutant and sometimes Avenger, Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff with Inhuman, once Fantastic Four member, and member of the Royal Family of Attilan, Crystalia "Crystal" Amaquelin. She was born the same day the hidden city of Attilan, home of the Inhumans, was transported to the Blue Side of the Moon to escape Earth's deadly pollution. She was therefore baptized Luna after her birthplace.  
**

**The crossing of Mutant and Inhuman genetics, however, canceled each other and Luna was born powerless. At first, Quicksilver was appalled in having a flatscan for a daughter (Flatscan is a derogatory term mutants use to refer to normal humans. Yup. Pietro is racist), he proposed to expose Luna to the Terrigen Mists, which give the Inhumans their powers, but was convinced otherwise. Years later, however, when his sister Wanda decided to depower 98% of mutant-kind, Pietro was desperate to have his powers back, and decided to expose himself and, why waste the trip?, the then Six years old Luna to the mists. Luna now has the power to manipulate people's emotions at will.  
**

**Luna was a centerpiece character in the mind-bending, full of time-travel shenanigans ****Avengers saga ** known as "The Crossing". In the beginning, Marilla, Luna's babysitter, was approached by Tuc, a fortune-teller, who warned her that she would soon suffer a horrible death. Tuc was actually Luna's brother from the future, who was trying to save her. Marilla is murdered and Luna is a witness but, being just a baby, she can only identify the murderer as "the bad man". The bad man turns out to be Tony Stark who was brainwashed by time-traveler villain Immortus to destabilize the Avengers. Later, a dying time travelling teenage Luna from the future warned the Avengers about Immortus plan and that they needed to recruit teenage Tony Stark from the past to defeat the present adult evil Stark...  


**If that sounds like a mess is because it was! It took almost three retcons for things to make sense again.**

**Fun fact: In the alternate universe Earth-98, Luna grew up and, under a rebellious adolescent phase, called herself "Spike"**

**There is another character named Luna in Marvel Canon: A Captain of the Vampire Nation. She only appeared twice so far, during the Fear Itself event.  
**

* * *

**THE CELESTIALS**

**Nobody knows from where the fuck the Celestials came from or what the fuck they want, not even the Watchers! And the Watchers know everything! What we DO know is that the Celestials are old. Fucking old. And they like to play God. They've been experimenting with races on Earth and Space, creating the Aztecs, the first terrestrial superhumans, and the Skrulls, among others. Why? NOBODY KNOWS!  
**

**The Watchers and the Asgardians are against the Celestials mysterious agenda. The Celestials told them to eat shit and kept doing their thing.**

**If an "experiment" "fails" on their standard, whatever it is (NOBODY KNOWS!), the Celestials send a special Celestial to wipe out the entire "failed" race of cosmic Guinea Pigs and go back to the drawing board. Thor witnessed one of the Celestials reapings, and said that it was "_to great for even an immortal to grasp". _So, a mindfuck. The Celestials entire history and reason of being can be described as a mindfuck, to be honest.**

**In short, the Celestials are mysterious, all powerful, everlasting, massive assholes!**

* * *

**Twilight and her "Displaced Paranormal" friends debuted in _DP7 _#1 in November, 1986. She met her unfortunate fate in _DP7 _#26 in December, 1988.**

**Jacqueline "Spitfire" Falsworth was introduced (and retconned) into the Marvel Continuity in _Invaders _#7 in July, 1976.**

**Luna Maximoff was born in _Fantastic Four _#240 in March, 1982.**

**The Celestials have been fucking with the Universe before its very existence, but they were first introduced to Marvel readers in _Eternals _#2 in August, 1976.**


	9. More American Than Apple Pie

**"Where to begin?**

**Let's start with the end**

**These black and white photos**

**Don't capture the skin**

**From the flash of a gun**

**To a soldier who's done**

**Trust me, grandson**

**The war was in color"**

_**-The War Was In Color, **_**Carbon Leaf**

**CHAPTER NINE**

**MORE AMERICAN THAN APPLE PIE  
**

"You do realize that you're basically kissing their feet, right?" Stark reprimanded Thor

"It's courtesy, Stark" Thor replies

"It's bullshit, that's what it is"

"Ahem…" Trixie clears her throat "I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, was informed that your resident spell-caster, the mediocre Twilight Sparkle, was lost in the mists of the cosmos, trading her physical form with the one you call Thor, reducing her already unimpressive skills to…"

"Twilight is not mediocre!" Fluttershy says

"Did I give you permission to talk?" Trixie snaps at Fluttershy

"N-no… but…"

"Then zip it! I trotted all the way from home to help your ungrateful, undeserving magic-less butts! So, unless you can do magic or anything useful at all other than crying like a little baby, I'd suggest you put yourself in your place and shut up!"

"O-okay…" Fluttershy cowers "I will…"

"You better" Trixie says

Angel frowns at Trixie. She wouldn't let anypony talk to her owner like that, so she nails her sharp teeth in her hoof.

"OUCH! YOU PEST!" Trixie yells, shaking her hoof, trying to make Angel lose her grip

"No! Stop it!" Stark says, grabbing Angel "Silly rabbit! Trixie is for kids!"

"You're lucky I'm feeling benevolent today" Trixie tells the rabbit "or else I could transform you into a carrot"

"Yeah, I doubt that" Applejack says under her breath

"This party isn't feeling very festive…" Pinkie says, looking a bit down

"Hey! Don't be like that! We even brought a magician to your party!" Stark says

"Really? Will you make some balloon animals for us?" Pinkie asks Trixie, hopping happily again

"_I'm not a clown!" _Trixie hisses

"No, she will make some nifty tricks for us down in the basement, right Tinkerbell?" Stark says "As a matter of fact, we better do it as soon as possible because she charges per hour"

"Wait, basement?" Trixie asks Stark "You promised me an audience!"

"Yeah, but we don't know if this is gonna work, do we? What if it fails?" Stark says "Do you really want to have your first try in front of dozens of judgmental ponies? Wouldn't you rather 'rehearse' first?"

Trixie stops to think "Well, I guess you… Wait a minute! If it works, you guys will be out of here and I'll have nothing to show! You're trying to trick me!"

"Oh, well, you got me" Stark says "Here's what we're gonna do: We'll go down the basement and see if you can do what Twilight failed to. If you can, one of us, **_me_**, will go while the other stays. This way you're gonna have one of us, **_Thor_**, still here for you to use for your little show tomorrow in front of all of Ponyville! How does that sound?"

"How do I know you won't all go together and ditch me here with empty hooves?"

"Thor will give you his word he'll stay" Stark says "And Thor never breaks his word, right buddy?"

Thor looks embarrassed "Well…"

"What?" Stark asks

"I believe it would be dishonest of my part to say I've never faulted on my word" Thor confesses "I've promised dear Jane I would return for her, but Loki's misdeeds have prevented me from fulfilling my promise"

"Jane? Who's Jane?" Stark asks

"My beloved" Thor answers "The mortal woman who showed me the true value of Midgard's…"

"Ho, ho, ho, Thor, you ladykiller you!" Rainbow Stark interrupts "You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend! Went for a vacation trip and fell for a local girl, huh? But let me warn you: These 'Summer Love' things, I don't want to rain in your parade, but they hardly ever last. Not that you can't make it work, no, you may, but it will be hard to maintain a 'long-distance relationship'. Especially now that you were 'in town' for a 'business trip' but couldn't find time to meet her. It will get ugly for you… If it was Pepper, she would sentence me one month in the couch. Minimum."

"Pepper and Tony, Pepperoni" Pinkie laughs "Jane and Thor, Janitor"

"Well, anyways, this was an isolated case" Stark turns to Trixie "Thor is still a very trustworthy guy and he will be here for you. I mean, who cares if you save me, 'Rainbow Dash', in secret if you still can save 'Twilight' for everyone to see?"

"Ok, but you better fulfill your part of the deal" Trixie says

"We will. Now, everybody to the basement" Tony says, as everypony moves down the stairs

"_We are going down the base-e-ment" _Pinkie sings _"Trixie has a lot of resen-tee-ment!"_

"Stop singing or I'll turn you into a frog" Trixie says

"After you, beautiful" Rainbow Stark tells Applejack, holding the door for her _See, Thor? I can be courteous too…_

Applejack blushes "Don't call me beautiful…"

"You prefer 'ugly' then?" Stark asks

Applejack just frowns and enters the basement

_MENTAL NOTE: Freckles feels really uncomfortable when I act like I'm courting her. Must exploit this weakness as much as possible. _Stark smiles to himself

Once they were all in the basement, Stark explains the situation to Trixie "So, you see, Twilight shot her beam through the Elements, but it went back, concentrating on her Element of Voodoo before hitting her, which caused the swap. The problem is that this shouldn't have happened. It concentrated on this Element" Stark points at the Eight Point Star gem "when it should have concentrated on THIS Element" Stark points at the Lightning gem "the one that started all of this: The Element of Lesbianism"

"The Element of Loyalty" Applejack corrects, annoyed

"I knew it started with an 'L'" Stark replies

"And, of course, Twilight screwed up" Trixie says "Don't worry, Stark, I, the great and powerful Trixie, will…"

"Wait! Not yet!" Stark says, moving towards Applejack "This may be the last time we'll see each other, my beautiful little pony"

"Thank Celestia for that" Applejack says "And stop calling me beautiful… or ugly!"

"I just want to say… when I woke up here, in this strange, strange world, the sight of your rustic beauty and the sound of your sexy accent were a blessing in the middle of the confusion, a ray of light, bursting through the dark clouds. 'Is this Heaven?' I asked myself…" Stark says "Have I ever told you I have a thing for blondies with freckles?"

Applejack blushes "Stark, no, stop!"

"…I know, I know. It's hard for me too" Stark continues "I know you wish we could be together but, darling, it just wasn't meant to be…"

"Stark, shut up!"

"…had we met in another life, we would be able to fulfill our torrid love story…"

"Stark, shut the hay up!"

"…but I have Pepper and you have Buzz Lightyear…"

"Stark… Stop…" Applejack insists

"…just remember: We will always have Paris. And by Paris, I mean Rarity's front porch"

"Are you two done?" Trixie asks, impatient

"Yeah, we're done" Stark says "Right, Applejill?"

"My name is Applejack!" Applejack replied, annoyed

"Yeah, but that's only because your parents wanted a boy"

"Mares and stallions! May I have your attention? I, the great and powerful Trixie, am here as the harbinger of bad and good news. Despite being…"

"Excuse me, what the fuck are you doing?" Stark interrupts her

"Rehearsing my speech. The one I'll do for my presentation tomorrow" Trixie answers "You said this would be like a rehearsal, didn't you?"

Stark sighs "Yeah, I did…"

"So… From the beginning" Trixie says "Mares and stallions! May I have your attention? I, the great and powerful Trixie, am here as the harbinger of bad and good news. Your local magic protector Twilight Sparkle has been cursed with a horrible fate: she's no longer able to do magic. But do not fear! Despite being once casted out of your town, I, in my magnanimity, forgive you from your foolish mistake, and…"

While Trixie kept babbling, Rainbow Stark raises his eyebrows suggestively at Applejack.

_What? _Applejack mouths at him, annoyed

In response, Stark licks his lips, slowly.

Applejack blushes and looks away.

Stark smiles to himself

_Oh, my God! She's still talking? _Stark thinks, once he realizes Trixie wasn't finished yet

"You sure like the sound of your own voice, huh?" Stark interrupts Trixie's speech

"And ya don't?" Applejack asks

"First, this is not my voice. Second, yes, I do"

"Ahem!" Trixie says "May I continue?"

"C'mon, now! You don't need to rehearse that!" Stark says "You're a natural at bullshitting. I'm sure you can improvise something great tomorrow. We just need to test the 'magic' part of your act, so, twitch your nose, Samantha"

"Twitch… my nose?" Trixie asks, confused

"Bewitched. It's a classic" Stark answers "Look, just do your magic thing, would ya?"

Trixie looks like she's about to protest, but she just frowns "Fine"

Charging up her horn, Trixie shoots a beam into the Element of Magic. From there, it passes through the Element of Laughter to the Element of Honesty and…

…and it stays there.

"Wait. That's it?" Stark says "You need to pass through all of it! You can't even pass half!"

"If you think this is so easy" Trixie hisses, trying her hardest to make the beam pass through "why don't you do it yourself?"

"Good idea! Wait… what's this I have on my head?" Stark says "Oh, it's 'NOT a horn'!"

Trixie ignores him, and keeps concentrating on her beam, sweating profusely.

"I can't believe you got stuck in the middle!" Stark continues "Sparkle not only managed to hit the end, but it also went all the way back! And you can't make it pass the middle! Well, I guess this wasn't a complete failure… we managed to gauge how much better than you Twilight is: Four Times!"

For a fraction of a second, Trixie looks like she's about to cry, but that's quickly replaced by a look of murderous rage.

**_"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!" _**Trixie screams, putting every single ounce of magic of her body into her beam. But the Apple shaped gem doesn't bulge. Instead, it reflects the beam, connecting it to Applejack's forehead. Applejack's eyes begin to roll on all directions, her mouth foams, and her hooves begin to tap dance on the floor…

"Oh, no!" Stark says "The angry stage performer John Trixie Booth shot Honest Abe in the head! History repeats itself!"

"TRIXIE! STOP!" Spike yells

"NO!" she screams "I CAN DO IT!"

"No, you can't!" Stark says "You're frying her brain! Stop!"

"NO!"

"I SAID STOP!" Stark yells and punches Trixie in the face

Trixie falls, interrupting the magic beam. Applejack collapses on the floor, exhausted and disoriented. Stark puts himself over her.

"Hey, Cowboy Curtis" Stark says, gently slapping Applejack's face "You're alright?"

"Mumblghefrty?" Applejack mumbles

"Look what you did!" Stark yells at Trixie "You destroyed what little brain she had left!"

He barely finished that sentence when Applejack's hoof rose up, punching him in the face "Ya stupid jerk…" she says, faintly

"She's okay, guys!" Stark announces from the spot where he fell

"What the hay is going on in here?" Rarity asks, climbing down the stairs

"Oh, look! Sarah Jessica Parker from_ 'Hex and the City'_ decided to show up!" Stark says "What are you doing here, sunshine? Isn't it a little late? Aren't you afraid you might oversleep and miss your breakfast at Tiffany's?"

"I… I felt bad for turning you down, and decided to come here to see if I could help" Rarity answers

"Too late!" Trixie replies, fully recovered from Stark's punch "They don't need you anymore. They have me"

"Excuse me?" Rarity says, slightly offended

"This is MY moment of glory!" Trixie says "I'm gonna save Twilight Sparkle in front of everypony, and I ain't gonna let you steal my thunder, you bi—"

"Hey, hey, hey! Hold your horses!" Stark takes a moment to laugh at his own joke "I'm glad you decided to come here, Colt & Gabbana, but nobody is gonna shoot another beam at those gems until I analyze them again"

"Wait. What?" Trixie says

"This is not working" Stark says "Science demands that we try an experiment twice to see if the results were not a product of chance. But trying it a third time, when the first two times proved disastrous, and expect a different result? That's not science. That's stupidity. I need to study the gems to see what's going wrong"

"I can try harder" Trixie says

"Are you fucking deaf?" Stark asks "You ain't gonna try shit until I analyze it! You can't just keep shooting at that if it isn't gonna make any fucking difference! We're gonna have to delay this until tomorrow"

"Ya sure?" Applejack asks

"If you say so…" Rarity says

"Perhaps…" Thor starts

"NO!" Trixie yells

"Yes!" Tony yells back

"M-maybe?" Fluttershy stutters

"Fuck!" Pinkie smiles

"What?" Spike asks Pinkie

"You're not honoring our deal, Stark!" Trixie tells him, angry

"Our deal was for you to open a portal. That didn't happen" Stark says "And that _won't _happen until we fix this. Look, you still gonna have your chance, ok? I'll just need some time to read upon these elements to see if I can find what may be the problem"

"Can't you just think of something now?" Trixie asks, impatient

"Think of what? WHAT?!" Stark shouts "Look, I don't know shit about these fucking things! I need to gather more information! All my brainpower won't mean anything if I don't know what exactly I'm dealing with! Sometimes you can't _'just think' _to solve a problem! Sometimes you have to fucking read!" Stark pauses for a moment, a feeling of dread and guilt suddenly falling upon him. He turns to Applejack and, just as he suspected, she's looking at him, a judging look on her eyes.

"Shut up" Stark tells her

"I didn't say any—" Applejack says

"SHUT UP!" Stark yells

Applejack stays quiet, but the judgment remains on her eyes

"_Why won't you shut up_?" Stark screams. The room fell silent, with everypony exchanging glances, except Applejack who maintains eye contact with Stark. After a few seconds, Rainbow Stark rushes upstairs and out of the basement, without saying a word.

The room stays silent.

Pinkie blows her party whistle, half-heartedly.

"I apologize for my friend's behavior. Excuse me" Thor Sparkle bows and trots after Stark. The rest soon follows.

Applejack smirks to herself. She finally got to Stark and… something's wrong… suddenly, she doesn't feel so well…

She tries to take one more step but her knees falter.

"Applejack! Are you okay?" Fluttershy asks

"I'm fine, I'm fine" she answers, slightly groggy "Just help me stand, would ya?"

Upstairs, Stark breathes heavily. He doesn't feel good. It's almost like he's having some sort of anxiety attack… he suffering from an anxiety attack? That'd be the day…

"Stark?" Rainbow Stark turns his head to see Thor approaching him "Oh, hi, Thor…"

"What happened down there? Is anything wrong?" Thor asks

"If is anything wrong? Is anything _right_?" Stark answers "I… I really didn't want to spend the night in this world... I'm running out of options, Thor…"

"What you need is a dose of Pinkie Pie to cheer you up!" Pinkie says, popping up out of nowhere in front of Stark

"GAH!" Stark shouts, surprised, as Pinkie grabs him and starts to dance "C'mon, Tony! Let loose and dance!"

Everypony else had arrived and were now watching the two dance, their facial expressions ranging from amused to confused.

"Pinkie, stop" Stark says to the enthusiastic pony "Pinkie. Pinkie. PINKIE!"

Pinkie finally stops, looking sad and disappointed for not being able to cheer Stark up.

"Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do. I really do. Honest" Stark says, with a small smile "But this is not the time for a party"

"But…"

"Tomorrow, okay?"

Pinkie pauses for a moment and then puts on a huge grin "Okay" From out of nowhere, she takes a yellow and pink vacuum cleaner, with the words 'PARTY VACUUM' written on the side. She turns it on, and all the balloons, confetti, banners, and all other party stuff gets sucked by the machine, leaving the library completely party-free. Pinkie waves to her friends and, like a proud soldier marching on, she leaves the library carrying the 'Party Vacuum' over her shoulder.

Stark was baffled "Are you sure that Pinkie isn't the magic one?" he asks Applejack

"Whatever it is that Pinkie can do is not magic" Applejack answers "It's… Pinkie"

"So, we're finished here?" Rarity asks "Guess I won't miss my beauty sleep, after all…"

"Your selflessness is overwhelming, Element of Generosity" Stark quipped

Insulted, Rarity frowns "Well, if that's the case, I'll stay"

"Nah. You can go. We _are_ finished here" Stark answers

"Very well" Rarity says, with her nose up "I'll be going. Good night"

Spike dashes to the door, and holds it open for Rarity "Allow me, Rarity"

"Oh, thank you, Spike. My little gentlesteed" Rarity kisses him in the cheek "Is good to know _somepony_ knows how to treat a lady" she turns to look at Stark, who sticks out his tongue at her

"Hmph!" Rarity interjects with scorn as she leaves the library

"Good night, Rarity" Spike says in an almost dreamy way, caressing the cheek Rarity kissed. Stark takes notice.

"So, bestiality is allowed in your world?" he asks Applejack "Kinky"

Applejack ignores Stark's question and says "Ya know what, Stark? If I was ya, I wouldn't accuse anypony 'round here of selfishness. Ya should know better than throw stones at glasshouses"

"The difference is: I never presented myself as a paradigm of righteousness like your posse with your Elements of Lollipops do" Stark replies "So, don't get mad if I call you guys on your bullshit whenever you stray from the path of virtue and perfect integrity. Like you said: Stones and Glasshouses"

"Every time I catch a glimpse of a decent fella inside ya, like when ya were talkin' with Pinkie" Applejack says "Ya come and bury that decent guy within a zillion layers of jerk…"

"Ow… how cute" Stark says "She's falling for the jerk with a heart of gold"

Applejack doesn't blush this time "Ya suck, Stark…" she simply says

"If you ask nicely…" **now** she blushed.

"So… I guess I'm going too…" Fluttershy says, coyly

"Oh my God! I forgot you existed!" Stark says as Applejack frowns at him.

"Farewell, Lady Ventura" Thor says

"Uh… Actually, her name is Fluttershy" Stark says "I was kidding about that 'Ace Ventura' thing"

"Fluttershy" Thor repeats "A much more fitting name for such a lovely lady" he says, kissing her hoof while Stark rolls his eyes and Fluttershy blushes.

"Oh my… t-thanks…" Fluttershy says with a little uncomfortable smile "Come Angel, it's already past your bedtime"

"You ain't getting rid of me" Trixie tells Stark after Fluttershy leaves

"What?" Stark asks

"I didn't leave my home in the middle of the night just to travel all the way back with empty hooves" Trixie says "I'll stay here until we fulfill our deal!"

Spike sighs "I guess I'll have to assemble the spare bed…"

"Spare bed?" Stark says "It's weird enough that a library has a bed, but a spare bed?"

"I'll be goin' too. It's late and… and…" Applejack begins to say, feeling dizzy "I…" she falls on the floor

"Applejack!" Spike cries

"Jack of Apples! Are you ill?" Thor asks

"I'm okay, I'm alright" Applejack says, trying to get up.

Stark assists her "No, you're not. You have to stay here"

"No, I need to go home. My… my family will be worried if…"

"Applejack, look at me" Stark says "You're groggy. You can't go back to Sweet Home Alabama like that"

"It's… Sweet Apple Acres" Applejack corrects, talking with difficulty

"Sweet Apple, huh? Was it named after you?" Stark starts his faux flirt again

Applejack doesn't answer. Stark is actually worried now.

"Well, Trixie, you're gonna have to share your bed with Applejack" Stark says

"What? No way!" Trixie protests

"Look, there are two beds and four ponies. Spike sleeps on the doghouse" Spike frowns at Stark "So, you're gonna have to choose: or you sleep with Applejack or with Thor or with me! So, what it will be?"

"S-Stark… I'm not gonna…" Applejack starts

"Quiet, gingerbread. You're not in condition to make any decisions" Stark says and then turns to Trixie "Well?"

"I'm thinking! I'm thinking!" Trixie yells. What decision could she make? Share a bed with one of the three ponies that she hates the most in the world? Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, or Rainbow Dash? Well, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle aren't themselves anymore, so that's a plus. Stark is a pain, but Thor is that stupid mule Twilight! What to do? What to do?

"Well?" Stark repeats

"Fine!" Trixie says in defeat "I pick Thor"

Stark smirks "Decided on your little rival, huh? Well, they always say love and hate walk together…"

"Shut up" Trixie replies, annoyed "It was the lesser of two… I mean, three evils"

"Whatever helps you sleep" Stark says and then turns to Applejack "Looks like you'll be sleeping with me"

"Darn…" Applejack mumbles

"Don't worry" Stark tries to reassure her, helping her go upstairs "Maybe you won't have to sleep with me… Maybe you'll have the entire bed for yourself while I spend the night working on the basement. How about that?"

Applejack gives a faint smile "L-like I said, Stark… Sometimes… ya can be nice, but…"

"But I'm a big jerk" Stark completes "I know. I'll try to compensate you. Here, let me kiss your hoof, since you're the only pony whose hoof Thor didn't kiss"

"Stark… Please, no…" Applejack protests

"I insist" Stark gives a respectful bow, and kisses Applejack's hoof

Applejack blushes, but it wasn't so bad. "T-thanks, Stark… I appreciate…"

Stark kisses her hoof again…

"Uh, Stark…?"

…and again…

"Stark, s-stop…"

…and again and again and…

"STARK!"

Rainbow Stark stops. He looks mischievously at Applejack, kisses her in the cheek, and, seductively, whispers in her ear "Sweet dreams, sugar cube"

If somepony who has never before met Applejack entered the room at that moment, they probably would ask themselves why her body was orange while her head was red.

Applejack takes her hoof out of Stark's grip "_I can go to bed on my own, thank you" _she says, coldly, and climbs the stairs alone.

Stark climbs down to meet the others, smiling "She's so gonna dream about that and she's **_so _**gonna feel guilty in the morning"

"You enjoy being annoying, don't you, Stark?" Spike says

"Is there something **_not_** to enjoy about being annoying?" Stark asks

Before anypony could answer, the unconscious body of Applejack falls down the stairs until it drops right in the middle of them.

"Jack of Apples!"

"Shit! My sex appeal was too much for her to handle!"

"Stark! This is no time for your jests!" Thor reprimands "The noble Applejack may be seriously hurt!"

"I know, I know. Sorry" Stark apologizes "Fuck. I should have escorted her all the way upstairs regardless of her protests…"

"Hey, she's coming back!" Spike says, as Applejack blinks her eyes

"Howdy, partner!" Stark greets with a forced accent "Don't just sit there like a lazy dog! Rise up and go to the barn! Those cow tits won't squeeze themselves!"

Applejack looks confused for a second, before fully comprehending the situation "They're called udder, Stark" she gets up, annoyed

"Pfft. Whatever. I'm not a farmer like you…"

"I'm not a farmer either. I'm just not a pervert like you"

"Pervert? I… Wait, you're talking without an accent?!" Stark said. Applejack's voice seemed so **_strange _**without an accent. Why, it almost sounded like Rainbow Stark's current voice…

Applejack looks at Thor and Trixie "Which one of you two is Thor?" she asks

Trixie points at Thor.

"Wait a sec. You… You're not Applejack, are you?" Stark asks

"I don't know. Am I?"

"Clint?" Stark guessed

"Steve" Steve Jack answered

"Steve, huh?" Stark says "Well, welcome to the Island of Lesbos"

"Island of Lesbos? Don't you mean Equestria?" Steve says

"Well, it might as well be. I haven't seen a single Y chromosome ever since I got here" Stark says "There's only girls here"

"Ahem!" Spike coughs

"Well, except for the slave" Stark continues

"I'M NOT A SLAVE!" Spike yells

"Are you in charge of taking care of the house?" Stark asks

"You mean the library?" Spike says "Uh… yes"

"Do you do anything that Twilight orders you?"

"I wouldn't say order…"

"Do you have the right to at least one vacation per year?"

"What? Uh… no"

"Are dragons considered inferior to or, at least, less civilized than ponies?"

"What does that have to do…"

"Have you ever gone anywhere without Twilight's permission?"

"I…"

"Do you receive payment for your services?"

"…no"

"You're a slave" Stark says. Trixie chuckles.

Steve and Spike frowns "I apologize for Stark's lack of tact, Mister?" Steve tells Spike

"Oh, right, introductions" Stark says "Guys, this is Steve Rogers. Steve, this is Spike, Trixie, Thor who's now Twilight Sparkle, and I'm Rainbow Dash"

"…and I'm Applejack, is that right?" Steve concludes

"_Princess _Applejack" Stark says "The secret identity of Wonder Mare! Who forces bad guys to be completely honest with her lasso of truth! On the plus side, you still can wear a star-spangled outfit"

Steve Jack stares at Rainbow Stark, unamused.

"Yeah, you're Applejack" Stark says "You live in the Kent Farm, on the outskirts of Smallville"

"Ponyville" Spike corrects

"By the way, how did you know we were we?" Stark asks

"The pony who replaced you called herself Rainbow Dash. You're the one with the rainbow hair" Steve explains "She then said that her friend, who had replaced Thor, was a unicorn. There are two unicorns here. I just had to ask"

"Nice job, Nancy Drew" Stark replies "Are you… not even slightly disturbed by this?"

"A little bit" Steve says "But it didn't take long for me to figure out what was going on…"

"Well, neither did I! But at least I freaked out a little bit when I found out I was a horse!" Stark says "You… You just accepted it! I mean, I can understand Thor accepting it. He's from Imaginationland already. But you? How can you be so cool about this? Are you a fucking robot?"

"I'm a soldier" Steve says "To solve a situation, you must first acknowledge it. You don't waste time asking how it's possible. You accept it is possible, because it's happening. So you focus on a way to…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spare me the sermon" Stark interrupts him

"Did you catch Discord?" Steve asks

All eyes turn to him. "Who?" Stark asks

"Discord. According to Loki and Twilight…"

"You talked to Loki? Why? When?"

"Loki found out that there was something blocking the portals" Steve explains

"Well, I guess he's right" Stark says "But still…"

"…and Twilight thinks is this Discord guy's fault" Steve concludes

"It couldn't be Discord, Steve" Spike says "He's petrified on the… oh!"

"Oh? Oh what?" Stark asks

"He's… no longer there…" Spike says, a chill going down his spine

"Who's no longer there?" Stark asks

"Discord" Spike says "He's a very powerful and very evil monster. He was petrified on the backyard, but… he's no longer there…"

"You had an evil God on your backyard, who could be the cause of all this, **_who disappeared_**" Stark asks, angry "And you didn't tell me… you didn't tell anyone about that?"

"I thought Princess Celestia had sent somepony to remove him" Spike tries to explain himself

"That's it. You're fired"

"You can't fire me!"

"You're right" Stark turns to Thor Sparkle "Thor, fire him"

Thor just stares blankly at Stark

"You have no idea what 'firing' someone means, do you?" Stark asks

"He's a dragon" Thor says "I'm sure he can 'fire' himself"

"He just committed a mistake, Stark" Steve chimes in "He can't be fired because of that"

"You're right. Slaves aren't fired. They're killed or sold" Stark turns to Spike "We'll search for a buyer in the morning. You better hope we find it"

"I'm not a slave!" Spike says, annoyed

"Hey!" Trixie interrupts "Now that we know what's causing the portals to go wrong, we don't need to wait until tomorrow! We can solve this now!"

"You wish it was that simple, didn't you, David Copper**failed**?" Stark says "Spike, how did your friends undo Discord's magic?"

"Uh… it was with…" Spike starts

"The Elements of Harmony" Spike and Stark say in unison.

"See? Back to the drawing board" Stark tells Trixie "But we do have somewhere to start our research now. We now know there's some kind of magic shit blocking the portal. We need to find a way to dissolve it. But, as I said earlier, it's too late for that now. Thor, you and Trixie will…"

"I pick Steve" Trixie says

"What?" Stark said "You already picked Thor"

"That's when Thor was the least horrible choice" Trixie says "Now Steve is. I pick Steve"

"Okay then"

"Pick me? For what?" Steve asks

"You're gonna sleep with her" Stark answers

Steve blushes "And I don't have a say in that? Stark, I don't feel comfortable with this. I must protest…"

"You're not going to fuck her, Steve" Stark says "You're just going to share a bed"

"That's not the point, I… Oh, what the heck, alright, I'll do it" Steve sighs and follows Trixie upstairs "Good night you three"

"I will retreat to my chambers as well, Man of Iron" Thor bows in reverence

"You're not gonna kiss my hoof now, are you?" Stark says "Anyways, night for you too. Me and the slave will just clean up the room, and then we meet with you upstairs"

Thor nods and climbs the stairs. Irritated, Spike turns to Stark

"I'm not a slave" Spike insists "I'm part of the family!"

"Of course you are, Uncle Remus" Stark says, indifferent "I bet all the ponies are glad that you're so kind, useful, and indoctrinated unlike the other savages of your race who are too stupid and primitive to accept the pony way of life"

"Exactly!" Spike says, proudly

"Oh, boy" Stark sighs "So innocent..."

On the wall, there was a picture of Twilight Sparkle with her five friends, having a picnic during happier times. Suddenly, a seventh figure appears on the portrait. Discord.

Darn it. They're onto him. He was hoping nopony would find out about his hex, but if this 'Tony Stark' discovers a way to dissolve his aura of chaos, and he shows it to Trixie or Rarity… Well, he must prevent that from happening, mustn't he? He will wait no longer. Tomorrow morning, Equestria will wake up a little more chaotic…

And with a mischievous plan forming on his mind, Discord leaves the frame.

One second later, he returns to the photo. With a sharpie, he draws a moustache on Twilight's face. Cackling, he leaves again.

The next morning, Rarity and Fluttershy met outside the library. After a little cordial small talk, they enter the building… uh, tree… 'Tree building'? 'Tree house'? 'Tree library'? 'Library carved in a tree'? Just library?

Once inside, they are greeted by the sight of piles and piles of books taken from the now virtually empty shelves with Rainbow Stark, Thor Odinson, Trixie, Steve Jack, and Spike each reading a book.

"Oh, look! The dressmaker and the zookeeper have arrived!" Stark says, from behind his pile of books "Take a seat, old chaps"

"There are no seats…" Fluttershy says

"Then sit on the floor. Do I have to do all the thinking around here? Jeez" Stark replies "While you're at it: Choose a pile and grab a book"

"Good morning for you too" Rarity says, irritated

"Good morning. I apologize for my friend's lack of manners" Steve Jack said "Ms…?"

Rarity just stares at Steve, before she whimpers "Not you too…"

"Rarity, Steve. Steve, Rarity" Stark says, without taking his eyes off of his book

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am. Sorry we had to meet under these circumstances" Steve says and then turns to Fluttershy "And you are?"

"F-Fluttershy…" Fluttershy replies

"Pleased to meet you, Fluttershy"

"Okay, now that we've gone through the formalities" Stark says "Would you two grab a book or what?"

"We're researching ways to dissolve Discord's spell that's interfering with the…" Steve starts

"Wait, WHAT?!" Rarity shouts "Discord?!"

"Don't ask me. Ask Son of Godzilla" Stark points to Spike

"I thought Princess Celestia had sent somepony…" Spike mutters

"Tell that to the judge" Stark says

"B-but… Discord is trapped in the statue…" Fluttershy stutters, afraid

"Yeah, well, where's the statue, sweetheart?" Stark asks "It's not here anymore…"

"But if Discord is free, there should be chaos" Rarity says

"I thought the same thing" Spike says

"Why isn't there any chaos?" Rarity asks

"I don't know" Stark answers "Maybe his powers aren't fully recovered yet. Maybe he took a vacation. Maybe he found Jesus. How the hell should I know?"

"What we're gonna do?" Fluttershy cries "If Discord is free, without the Elements, how would we be able to stop him this time?"

"Less whining and more researching would be a good first step" Stark replies "See, it was exactly for something like this that I made the contingency plan"

"What contingency plan?" Rarity asks

"The suit" Stark replies "The armor I asked you to redesign for me"

"Okay, so why are you not using it?" Rarity asks

"I would, but I don't have the necessary materials to build it" Stark explains "I sent Butterfly here…

"Fluttershy" Rarity corrects

"Close enough. I sent her to find a mine of iron and/or gold, but she hasn't…"

"Actually" Fluttershy says "I've found the mine yesterday…"

"You did?" Stark says "Why didn't you say so?"

Fluttershy's eye twitches "I'VE BEEN TRYING TO!" she roars to everyone and everypony's surprise.

"I-I'm sorry… I shouldn't have yelled…" Fluttershy says, embarrassed

"You managed to anger Fluttershy" Spike says "Congratulations, Stark. You're the Unbearable Jerk of the Year"

"Keep the trophy. I have three of those" Stark quipped and then turned to Fluttershy "So you found the mine? Great! Now, why don't you take a cart and bring me a big nice chunk of metal?"

"Going to the mine? A-alone?" Fluttershy asks

"Yeah. Why?"

"Mines are dark and scary…"

"So?" Stark says "It's just a cave. I've spent three months living in one. Quit being a pussy"

Steve frowns and raises his hoof "I'll go with her"

"You will?" Stark asks

"You will?" Fluttershy asks

"Sure, going for a walk, carrying a cart full of heavy metal… I could use the exercise" Steve says

"Fine with me" Stark says

"Lead the way, ma'am" Steve tells Fluttershy, and together they leave the library.

"I don't understand, Stark" Rarity says "How can somepony like _you_, have such nice friends like Thor and Steve?"

"Maybe it's because I'm so incredibly awesome?"

"No" Rarity says, unimpressed "It's definitely something else"

On the way to the mine, Steve (who's drawing the cart) and Fluttershy have a little talk.

"I appreciate you're coming with me, I really do" Fluttershy says "But I didn't want to cause any inconvenience…"

"No problem, ma'am. No problem at all" Steve replies "I hope Stark didn't bother you too much"

"Bother me? Oh no, he didn't bother me. He… mostly ignored me…" Fluttershy says, sad "I'm… a little used to being ignored…"

Steve thinks back to the time before he got the Super Soldier Serum, when everyone thought he was too weak and frail to fight, when he was too shy to talk to a girl, even the ones Bucky convinced to go to a date with him, girls who would usually stare at him with disdain and, sometimes, even disgust…

"Believe me, I know how that feels" Steve says "Don't let it get to you. You have wonderful friends who'll be always at your side. And, one day, you'll find the right partner, someone who'll never ignore you. I promise you that"

Fluttershy smiles, slightly embarrassed "Thanks, I… Oh, we're here"

Steve and Fluttershy stop, right at the entrance of a dark cave. Tiny echoes from nocturne animals are heard. Fluttershy cowers and silently moans. Steve enters the mine.

"You'll stay here?" he turns his head to ask Fluttershy

"I… I…"

"You'll keep guard until I come back? Good idea" Steve says "I feel safer already with you having my back"

Fluttershy hangs her head "You're mocking me…"

"What?! No! I'm serious" Steve replies "I have complete trust in you"

Fluttershy raises her head to look at Steve and… she believes him! There's something about him, the way he talks, the way he smiles, the way he looks at you… It exhales confidence, trust… It makes you believe… It makes you feel like you can… You start to believe in yourself, because **_he _**believes in you. It's his gift.

Fluttershy suddenly showcases a much more confident expression on her face "Ok. Don't hurt yourself in there"

Steve chuckles "I won't" and he disappears from sight inside the darkness.

…and that's when Fluttershy's short-lived bravado disappears too.

Suddenly aware that she's all alone in the middle of Everfree Forest (technically, she's just 10 feet inside the forest. She could get back to the city in less than five seconds), Fluttershy begins to, well, _flutter _with nervousness. As soon as she hears a twig snap in the distance, she rushes inside the cave…

"STEVE!" she cries "WAIT UP!"

"What? Is something wrong?" Steve asks once Fluttershy catches up with him

"I… I…" Fluttershy catches her breath "I know you said you felt safer with me keeping guard… but **_I _**feel safer standing near you…"

"Good thinking" Steve says "Sticking together we'll be able to have each other's back! Nice strategy"

"You're just saying that to make me feel better…"

"No, Fluttershy, I…"

"Steve, please" Fluttershy sighs "I'm a coward. I know that. You know that"

"Coward? Why? Because you're afraid?" Steve says "Let me tell you something about cowards: Cowards only do things when they're sure they can win. They bully the weak. They torment those who can't fight back. They only act when they don't feel fear. Acting when you're afraid? _That's_ courage!"

"But I don't act when I'm afraid!" Fluttershy says, with little tears in her eyes "I stagger. I freeze. I wish I could be fearless like you…"

"What makes you think I'm fearless? I'm not" Steve protests "And please, do NOT confuse fearlessness with courage. Having no fear doesn't make you brave. It makes you stupid or insane. We need fear. It warns us of the dangers. It makes us acknowledge the stakes. It advises us to do our best to avoid mistakes. It makes you **care about the outcome**. If you don't have fear, you're careless, reckless, **_dangerous_**. You just need to remember to not let fear stop you from doing what needs to be done"

"I…" before Fluttershy could answer; a swarm of bats flew past them. Fluttershy shrieks, and buries her face into Steve Jack's shoulder, sobbing softly.

"There, there…" Steve says, while they walk deeper into the cave "I got a little jumpy too"

"Steve, please" Fluttershy sobs "I'll never be brave. I was almost scared to death right now"

"And yet you're still here" Steve remarks "You didn't run away"

"But I wanted to" Fluttershy insists

"But you didn't! That's the whole point of what I've been saying" Steve says "Despite your fear begging you to turn around and run, you didn't. You listened to your fear's arguments to run away and decided that they weren't good enough. You kept going. You're **_still _**going. You're brave, Fluttershy. Don't you ever let anyone tell you different"

Back at the library, Thor, Trixie, Rarity and Stark, were still reading through the seemingly endless piles of books, with Spike serving them sandwiches.

"Did you guys find anything yet?" Stark asks

"No" Thor answers

"Nope" Trixie answers

"Not yet" Rarity answers

"Wait a minute… That book is about 'History of Fashion'!" Stark yells at Rarity "We're trying to dissipate a magic block here! Why the fuck are you reading that for? Throw it in the pile of 'Useless Books That Are a Waste of Time'!"

"Useless? Hmph!" Rarity says "If you ask me, you never know when a better understanding of summer hat trends may prove useful…"

"Oh, I have a pretty good idea" Stark says "It starts with an 'N' and ends with 'ever'!"

"Bah! This tedious task irritates me!" Thor announces, violently throwing his book on the floor "I'm Thor, Warrior and Prince of Asgard! I have no patience for books!"

"Thor, I love you, buddy" Stark says "But you're really not helping your fame of stupid"

"I agree with knucklehead" Trixie says "These Spell books are so… complex. They're giving me a headache"

"And you wonder why Twilight is so much better than you…" Stark says as Trixie shoots him a death glare

"Actually, Trixie brings a good point" Rarity says "These spells _are_ complex. There's no guarantee that neither of us" she points at herself, Thor, and Trixie "will be able to perform the spell if we ever find it"

"I know understand why Nerd McNerdypants thought she was such a genius" Stark says "considering that she lived her life surrounded by you idiots"

"Hey! That was uncalled for" Rarity protests "What was the point of that insult?"

"This shit isn't that complicated!" Stark says "I bet if I had a fucking horn I could do all this shit! And you know what? I bet you guys could too, if you hadn't the reading skills and attention span of a five year old! God! I can't believe you guys are making me miss Sparkle!"

_You hear that? He misses her. They all miss her. Do you think anypony would miss you if you disappeared? Do you think anypony would care?_

"What? Who's that?" Trixie asks

"Who's who?" Stark asks back

"That voice!" Trixie says "You didn't hear the voice?"

_Don't waste your time. They can't hear me. Only you can._

"What? How?" Trixie asks the ceiling

Stark stares at her for a few seconds "You're a loony" he says and goes back to arguing with Rarity

_Hear that? You're a loony. They don't care about you. They despise you. You're worth less than the mud they step on for them._

"What's your point?" Trixie asks, silently and bitter

_Do you honestly think they'll honor the deal? They'll dump you the first chance they get. They'll wait until you're in front of the whole town. And they'll humiliate you, like they did before, and they'll laugh at you. Everypony will laugh at you._

Trixie fights back her tears and anger "No! You have no way of knowing that. They'll honor the deal. **_I_**'ll honor the deal!"

_How noble. Why bother? Why help them? After everything they done? After all the humiliation you suffered? After they destroyed your career, just to protect their own petty prides? Do you think they feel sorry about that? They don't. They would do it again, with pleasure. Even though you lost everything and they lost nothing, **you**'re the bad pony. **They**'re the 'heroes'. These ponies don't deserve your help. They don't deserve your forgiveness. Heck, they probably think **you**'re the pony who should be apologizing, not them. They only deserve your hate. They only deserve PAIN. They need to pay for what they done to you. They deserve to suffer your **revenge**._

Trixie looks at everypony in the room. A burning hatred boiling inside of her, as she scans every single face. She would love to make them suffer… No, that's not right "I can't" she whispers "This is my only chance. What other way can I regain my reputation, if I don't save Twilight?"

Suddenly, two enormous yellow eyes appear in front of Trixie, but only she could see them.

_I have a few ideas…_

"…and that's why unicorns are for little girls" Stark concludes to Rarity

"Was that supposed to be an insult?" Rarity asks, indifferent "Because I don't feel insulted"

"Hey, Thor" Trixie calls him "Would you mind helping me out with something outside?"

Thor looks at Trixie. There's something… **_off _**in her eyes… He then looks at the piles of boring books in front of him and the two bickering horses just a few steps ahead. "I'll be certainly glad to do so, Lady Trixie" Thor bows and follows Trixie outside the library.

"What do you need my assistance for?" Thor asks, once they reach the main square

"Oh, just a little performance" Trixie looks at Thor Sparkle with his stupid clueless smile on his stupid clueless face. No. **Her **stupid clueless smile on **her **stupid clueless face. _Oh, this will feel good…_

"Mares and Stallions! May I have your attention, please?" Trixie announces as townsponies turn to look at her "Some of you may remember me: I'm the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"Isn't that the pony that brought the Ursa Major here?" "I think so" "I think it was an Ursa Minor" "The way she ran away was hilarious…" ponies in the crowd murmur

_Go ahead, laugh. This will only make the following part much more satisfying_

"Those who remember me, may also remember that I wasn't as 'great and powerful' as I affirmed to be. I couldn't solve the mess I helped create, and this mare at my side, Twilight Sparkle, proved herself more skilled than me by taking the Ursa Minor safely out of town in an impressive feat of magic" Trixie says, as the townsponies nod in agreement, some clearly impressed with Trixie's display of humility.

"Now, please, watch this" and with that said, Trixie shoots a concussive beam at Thor which sends him flying against a wall as the crowd gasps with shock.

Thor raises his head with difficulty. This attack was almost as painful as the backhand the Destroyer gave him when he was on his mortal form.

"I'm sorry, Thor, darling" Trixie, who looked anything but sorry, whispered "But this opportunity was too good to let pass"

Using her magic, Trixie lifts his body and throws it with force against the building on the other side of the street. Then she lifts him again and throws him against the first wall. Each hit causes the audience to gasp and flinch. She repeats that routine for a while, like she's playing a game of Pong and Thor is the ball.

Severely injured, Thor tries to counter attack. But what can he do? He tries to conjure some type of magic with his horn, but it's hopeless.

"What's the problem, Twilight? Why don't you fight back?" Trixie mocks "Oh, that's right. **_You can't!_**"

"W-what do you want?" Thor asks with difficulty

"I want to hear you scream!" Trixie snarls "I want to hear **her voice BEGGING ME TO STOP!**"

Trixie starts to inflict something akin to an electric torture on Thor who screams in agony, before passing out.

"BEHOLD!" Trixie lifts the limp, unconscious body of Thor Sparkle for everypony to see "The _mighty _Twilight! So utterly defeated by me!" Trixie laughs with an almost orgasmic glee "Who's the best now, huh? WHO'S THE BEST?"

"TRIXIE!" Trixie turns her head to see Steve and Fluttershy on the other side of the square

"That's right" Trixie says with a smirk "I'm the best"

"Trixie" Steve repeats "put the pony down"

"As you wish" Trixie says, and throws Thor's body down, with such extremely violent force, it makes a small crater on the ground.

"Thor!" Steve screams

"Twilight!" Fluttershy cries

"What the hell is going on…?" Stark looks outside the window at the tumult "Oh, shit!"

Trixie shoots a huge beam on their direction "Fluttershy! Look out!" Steve pushes Fluttershy out of the way, as the beam misses them and hits the cart, destroying it, but leaving the chunks of iron intact.

"Stay here!" Steve tells the frightened Fluttershy and runs into Trixie's direction

Trixie shoots another blast, but Steve dodges it doing a somersault. Trixie keeps firing at him, and with every dodge, one more acrobatic than the other, Steve draws near.

"Stand still while I'm trying to hit you, darn it!" Trixie screams

"Sorry, no can do" Steve says dodging another blast.

Very close now, before she can shoot another blast, Steve jumps and delivers a kick on Trixie's head, knocking her out cold.

"Sorry for that, ma'am" Steve says "But you have some explaining to do"

"Oh, Steve…" Fluttershy says, running to meet him "That was so… so… valiant!"

"Steve, remind me to never piss you off" Stark says, meeting them "Scratch that: remind me to wear a helmet _when_ I piss you off. Oh, I see you found my raw materials. Rarity?"

"Yes?" Rarity asks from the library doorframe

"Could you use your head boner to bring those chunks of metal inside? Thank you"

Thor wakes up and tries to stand. He screams and falls.

"Thor! Stand down!" Steve says "You broke your leg!"

"Here, use me as a crutch" Stark says, helping his friend stand, while Steve and Fluttershy carried the still unconscious Trixie, and Rarity levitated the iron chunks.

"You know something, Steve?" Stark says as they walk towards the library "I think I know why you were so cool with this body swap thing"

"Oh, really?" Steve says, a little curious "Do tell"

"You basically got swapped with yourself!" Stark says "I mean, look at you! Blonde, similar hairstyle, very strong, very fast, very agile…"

Steve smirks "You know something, Tony? That may be the closest thing to a compliment you…"

"…very annoyingly righteous, same boring personality and I bet you're both virgins too" Stark concludes "Sorry, what were you saying?"

Steve frowns, annoyed "Forget it"

As they enter the library, they notice something that wasn't there when they left: A pink cannon in the middle of the room.

Stark raises his eyebrows "Wha—"

"PARTY TIME!" Pinkie shouts, firing the cannon which covers the library with all the balloons and confetti of yesterday.

"JESUS CHRIST!" Stark yells "Stop doing this ninja shit, you pink creature from hell!"

Stark's surprise causes him to let go of Thor, who hits the floor and cries in pain.

"Oh, shit" Stark says, helping him stand again "Sorry, buddy"

"What's wrong with her… him?" Pinkie asks, worried

"He broke his leg" Stark explains

"That's a shame… but it could be good!" the always optimistic Pinkie says "Is he an actor? Because if he is, that means good luck!"

"Saying 'break a leg' brings good luck" Stark says "_Actually_ breaking a leg does not!"

"Well, don't worry, Twi… Thor… Twor" Pinkie smiles "Even if you can't dance, I'll make sure you'll still have fun on my party!" Pinkie then turns to Steve Jack "Hi, Applejack! Nice for you to come in! Have fun! Just don't eat too much cake like you did in that dream we had last night"

"Wait, what?" Stark says "What did she said?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am" Steve apologizes "But I'm not Applejack"

"Oh, you're one of Stark's friends?" Pinkie asks "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie"

"Nice to meet you, Pinkie Pie" Steve greets back "I'm Steve"

"Nice to meet you, Steed"

"Steed?" Stark says "No, you're thinking of the **_other _**'Avengers'!"

"Pinkie, this is the third friend of ours who's swapped" Fluttershy says "How you can be so… 'okay' with all of this?"

"Don't be silly, Fluttershy. There's nothing to be worried about" Pinkie answers "Everything will go back to normal in the end. Like it always does"

"Speaking of that, we need to go back to research or _nothing's_ going back to normal" Stark says "Our options are running out quick"

"What we need is a song to inspire us!" Pinkie proclaims

"No, we do n—"

"_L__oose, hoofloose,_

_Kick up your horseshoes_

_Please, Cream Cheese_

_Pull me off of my knees_

_Applejack, come back_

_Come on, before we crack_

_Lose your blues_

_Everypony cut hoofloose!"_

"That's… Kenny Loggins' _Footloose_!" Stark says

"No, silly!" Pinkie giggles "That's Pinkie Pie's _Hoofloose_"

"My ass it is!" Stark replies "You stole it! I don't know how you did it… In fact, I don't know how you do lots of things, but you stole it! You just changed some lyrics for horse-related puns!"

"What's going on in here?" the occupants of the room turn their heads to see Big Macintosh and Applebloom.

"Oh my God! A male pony!" Rainbow Stark shouts "The legends were true!"

"Big Mac! Applebloom!" Pinkie hops "I'm so glad you came to my party!"

"We didn't come for a party, Pinkie" Applebloom said "We came looking for Applejack"

"Eyup" Big Mac agreed

"Oh, you sure you won't stay? We have cake and…" Pinkie stops "Oh goodness! The cake! I forgot the cake! MY PARTY IS RUINED!" a fountain of tears burst from Pinkie's eyes as she cries on the floor.

Steve approaches Pinkie, worried "Pinkie, are you okay?"

Pinkie raises her head, smiling like nothing had happened "Yes. You guys stay here. I'm going to Sugar Cube Corner to bring a cake. I'll be back soon" and with that said, Pinkie Pie happily hopped out of the library.

"That pony's mind must be a fascinating place…" Stark says

"Oh, Applejack" Applebloom hugs Steve "We were so worried about ya when ya didn't come home last night!"

"Oh, I…" Steve didn't know what to say "I'm sorry… uh… _you"_

"Okay, kiddo" Stark says, pulling Applebloom by her tail "Hugging time is over"

"Hey!" Applebloom protested

"Applejack, we were really worried" Big Mac says "Where were you?"

"I..."

"She was here all night" Stark butts in "You didn't need to worry. Now, if you excuse us…" he says, pushing Big Mac and Applebloom towards the exit

"Here all night? Doing what?" Big Mac asks

"Secret, private stuff" Stark answers "There's the door…"

"Like what?" Big Mac insists, getting a little irritated

"Like the kind that is none of your business" Stark says "Man, you're nosy"

"Rainbow Dash, I'm her brother!" Big Mac says, angry "I have a right to know!"

Stark pauses to think. What could he say to get rid of Big Mac as fast as possible?

"She was having sex" Stark says, deadpan

Big Mac's angry face disappears to give place to an expression of shock/embarrassment "Oh, I-I…"

"She has a life outside you guys, you know. And she would rather you didn't pry on it" Stark finally pushes them outside "So, goodbye. Give us a call someday" he then closes the door on their faces

"Big Mac?" Applebloom approaches her big brother "What's 'sex'?"

"Uh… Here are some coins. Why don't you go to Sugar Cube Corner and buy yourself something tasty?" Big Mac says, still staring at the door, startled

"Ya serious?" Applebloom asks

"Eyup"

"Fuck yes!" Applebloom cheers, and runs towards the cake store

"STARK!" Steve shouts, angry

"What?"

"Why did you do that?"

"What?" Stark asks again

"With all the excuses you could concoct, you went with sex? You don't even care what this may mean for this poor girl's reputation, do you?" Steve says "Of course, I shouldn't expect anything else from you. That filthy mind of yours… corrupting the purity and innocence of these ponies!"

"Good Lord, Steve! Could you sound any gayer?" Stark replies "These idiots don't even know what 'fuck' means. What do you think they know about sex?"

"I know a lot about sex!" Fluttershy declared

All the eyes turn to her. She blushes.

"I-I mean… I take care of animals…" Fluttershy says "I even count the newborn bunnies after mating season is over… so… of course I know about sex… I just don't like talking about it…"

"It's okay, Fluttershy" Steve says "I don't like talking about it either"

"The shier they are in public, the freakier they are in bed. It's what I always say" Stark quips

"STARK!" Steve shouts

"You really thought we didn't know about sex?" Rarity asks "How did you think we reproduced?"

"I don't know. I thought you were just magically created out of nothing like Smurfs" Steve says "And how do you _do_ it, anyway? I can't find my genitals, and believe me, I've searched"

"STARK!" Steve shouts

"ROGERS!" Stark mocks him

"M-my friends!" Thor says, from the pillow where he was resting "We should be focusing on the ordeal at hand"

"He's right. We're gonna need protection now that Discord is out there. Good thing you brought these big chunks of iron here" Stark turns to Fluttershy "Fluttershy, Applejack brought me some tools. They're down in the basement. Could you fetch them for me?"

"In the basement? A-alone? I…" Fluttershy looks at Steve _I need to be brave _"Yes, Sir" she says, determined, and marches down the stairs.

Stark rises an eyebrow at Steve "What did you two do in that cave?"

"We mined the iron" Steve answers

"Yeah. What else?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"Didn't you see the way she looked at you?" Stark asks "She totally wants to jump your bones"

"She does not!" Steve says, irritated "I don't know what 'jump my bones' means, but knowing you, it can only mean one thing"

"Why are we only focusing on the armor?" Rarity asks "Shouldn't we be searching for the magic spell…"

"Why bother?" Stark interrupted her "As we all saw, Thor can't do magic to save his life, we can't trust Trixie…"

"That should have been obvious from the beginning" Spike, who had just tied up the still unconscious Trixie and shoved a cork on her horn, said "If you had asked for my opinion, we wouldn't…"

"Shut up, servant" Stark says "You were enslaved for your services, not for your opinions"

"I'M NOT A SLAVE!"

"…and you, Rarity Potter, keep whining about not being good enough" Stark concludes "So, why should we bother?"

"Because if we don't, then Discord will still be on the loose" Rarity replies "Because if we don't, our friends will be lost forever!"

"You're right. I forgot. Sorry" Stark sighs "But it's hopeless! Are you sure the Elements of Deus Ex Machina are the only way of defeating Discord?"

"Well, Princess Celestia did manage to trap him for over a thousand years, maybe we should contact her" Spike says

Rarity shakes her head "It's no use, Spike. When Princess Celestia called us the day before yesterday to tell us that Discord had escaped, she told us that she could only do it with the Elements of Harmony"

"Wait, so when Celestia imprisoned Discord, he got stuck in that statue for over a thousand years. But when you guys did it, it only lasted one day?" Stark asks "Wow, you guys really suck at this"

"Excuse me, but Discord was secured and everything was fine until YOU showed up" Rarity points out

"Sure, blame the foreigner" Stark says "In any case, I think we should try your Highness anyways, I mean, why the hell not?" Stark takes a piece of paper, and writes his letter

"Here, do your thing, slave" Stark shoves the letter inside Spike's mouth, who coughs it out

"I'm not a slave!" Spike screams

"Fine, fine. 'Vassal'" Stark makes quotation marks in the air

"That's better" Spike says, and then unfolds Stark's letter to read it…

_Dear Princess Zelda or Whatever,_

_I don't know you and you don't know me. But you probably already heard about me in the letter Clever Hans wrote you yesterday. I'm currently inside one of your subjects, Rainbow Dash. Yeah, I know. I should have taken her out for dinner first._

_The problem is: I'm not the only "surrogate" around here. Your beloved Twilight Sparkle committed a magical mistake trying to make the brooms take water from the well for her, and now she's someone else too. And so is Johnny Appleseed. It also seems that this may have to do with that dude you call Discord. He escaped, by the way. I think Baby Sinclair should be severely punished for his incompetence._

_So, you see, things are getting ugly. And they can get even uglier unless you take your lazy fat ass out of your throne and come here to help us before your whole stupid kingdom is swapped with my world. Who knows? Maybe you'll get swapped with Rebecca Black._

_Sincerely,_

_A Very Pissed Off Tourist_

_Tony Stark (A.K.A. The Guy Inside Rainbow Dash)_

Spike gasps "You can't send this to Princess Celestia!"

"Why? Because I ratted you out?"

"Because you're disrespectful to her!" Spike says

"So? What she's gonna do? Banish me?" Stark says "Guess what? I don't wanna be here"

Spike frowns "If you don't mind, I'll edit your letter to make it more acceptable" he says pulling a pen

"Actually, I do mind. I…" Suddenly, Stark feels a sting on his chest. A horribly familiar pain. The kind he felt when Obadiah Stane yanked the Arc Reactor off of his chest. He barely even notices when he collapses in the floor, jerking his body…

"Wow. He really minds!" Spike gulps

"Stark!" Thor screams

"Oh, dear" Rarity says, apprehensive

"Tony! What's wrong?" Steve says, approaching him "Tony! Talk to me!"

But Stark couldn't speak. The world had turned blurry. And, in a matter of seconds, everything was darkness…

**What… What's happening? I can't see shit!**

_Me neither._

**Who's there?!**

_I'm Rainbow Dash. You?_

**Tony Stark.**

_Oh. So, you're the one using my body?_

**Yep.**

_Oh…_

**Where are we? What's going on?**

_I think I know, but you ain't gonna like it…_

**What do you mean?**

_Loki. He… he killed me…_

**What?! He killed you? But… that's my body! He killed me!**

_Yeah. He said that if one of us died it was possible that we met inside the head of the survivor… or that we both would die…_

**So… we're dead?**

_I guess._

**That sucks.**

_Tell me about it._

**But… how… I mean… what happened?!**

_It… it was awful! He killed everypony! H-he killed Bruce…_

**Bruce?! How's that possible?! He can't… Oh, God! Pepper! Is she okay? Please, tell me she's not…**

_I don't know… Sorry, I… I really don't know…_

**Oh God, please, no…**

_I'm sorry…_

**God…**

_So… what happens now?_

**I don't know.**

_…_

**…**

_…I'm scared._

**Me too.**

And then a burst of light cuts the darkness, as the world turned blurry again, slowly shifting into focus…

"He's coming back!" Stark hears Steve's voice "Give him room to breathe"

"I…" Tony tries to say "We…"

"You gave us a mighty scare, Tony" Steve says "You actually stopped breathing for a few seconds there"

"_Weneedtocomeback!" _Stark says, abruptly

"What?"

"WE NEED TO COME BACK NOW!" he yells

Oblivious to what just happened upstairs, Fluttershy finally found Applejack's bag of tools.

She just searched a dark, empty basement alone! Steve will be so proud!

She's moving towards the stairs when a shine catches her eye. She looks at Stark's experiment table, where his device was assembled. The gems from the Elements were no longer there. They were levitating, near the ceiling, in a circle, displaying a magic sparkle.

"Oh, my… Was t-that supposed to happen?" Fluttershy asks herself "Uh… Stark?" she calls in her usual quiet, coy manner "I think you should come down here… that is, if you don't mind…"

The gems begin to form a ball of magic energy which begins to grow.

"Uh… Stark?" Fluttershy says, as the orb grows larger and larger, approaching her "Steve? Somepony? Help?"

Fluttershy was now cornered, with nowhere to run, as the orb was ready to swallow her.

"STEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Flutershy screams, before being engulfed by the expanding orb of magic.

* * *

**Next Chapter may take a while because I want to take some time to work on my MLP/Final Destination Crossover Fic that I've been neglecting for quite some time (The Rift was just supposed to be some silly little fic I would work on in-between, but ended up taking all my attention). _"Pienal Destination" _was _supposed _to be my next fic _three fics ago_! You can still see the "advertisement" for it in my profile page.**

**Here's an excerpt of the (87% done) first chapter "Life of The Party":**

"Pinkie could no longer hear the screams of the panicking townsponies that were running for their lives, like the whole world turned silent. All she could do was stare at the horror that unfolded before her. She couldn't believe in what just happened. Not even her worst nightmares have been that horrible. Her friends were dead… No, this can't be true. She shakes her head left and right, tears rolling from the corners of her eyes.

_Bzzt!_

Pinkie opens her eyes and sees the electric cable that just moments ago was on Applejack's mouth. The cable whips back and forth, like a snake about to attack, shooting electric sparks from its snapped end. Slowly, Pinkie walks backwards, keeping her distance, her fearful eyes fixated on the deadly writhing cable which keeps coming nearer and nearer.

Pinkie kept walking backwards until her hind hooves hit a stone salience which made her trip and fall inside the town's water fountain. Her head hits the stone pony statue that adorns the fountain and leaves her dizzy. She manages to regain focus just in time to see the cable hit the water…"

**Don't worry though, because I won't stop working on Chapter Ten of The Rift. I just gonna "divide" my attention for a while...**


	10. Dr Selvig

**There's something that I want to ask about Applejack's family.**

**I've only watched the complete first season, and about fifteen episodes of the second season. None of the third season. So, I don't know everything. That's why I want to ask something that others may know.**

**So far, I've only seen the parents of Twilight, Pinkie Pie and Rarity appear on the show. The pegasi don't seem to have family, as I haven't seen any relatives of Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy or Scootaloo. But it's Applejack's mysterious parents that concern me.**

**I assume Granny Smith is Applejack's Grandma because her name is Granny and all. So, we have a generation skip here. Granny is there. BigMac, Applejack, and Applebloom are there. Their parents/Granny's child isn't.**

**Are they dead? Maybe, but here's the problem:**

**During the "Cutie Mark Chronicles" episode (which shows flashbacks of how the Mane Six got their Cutie Marks) we see Applejack as a young filly. APPLEBLOOM WASN'T BORN YET. Were Granny and BigMac there? Yes. Were Applejack's parents there? NOPE. So, since Applebloom still had to be born, the parents were still alive, but ABSENT.**

**Do you guys think that Applejack's parents are deadbeat and simply drop their children to Granny's care as soon as they're born? Do you think that Applejack only ever saw her parents the day they came to the farm to drop baby Applebloom and just went back to the world to live their lives of irresponsible hedonism? Did they ever appear on the show so my theory can be shot down?  
**

**Is this theory stupid and depressing?**

**I'm sorry...**

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN**

**DR. SELVIG  
**

**(Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Chaos)**

"Feeling comfortable?" Bruce asks Tony Dash

"Yeah, but this is the 'calm before the storm'" Dash says, lying down in the chair while Bruce strapped the cables to her reactor "The part I hate comes when you push that button over there"

Banner chuckles "Well, thankfully, this will be the last time you'll have to go through this"

"Clint called a few minutes ago" Natasha, who was holding Loki's scepter for 'Emergency Shut Off' purposes, said "Loki can dissolve the magic block. In fact, he could do it all along. He just didn't because he's an asshole"

"Hear that, Dash?" Pepper said "Soon you'll be back to your home and all of this will be over"

"Yeah… I… want to thank you. All of you" Dash says "There are so many things I want to say…"

"We know" Pepper said

"Everything's good to go" Dr. Selvig announced "Now we just need Mr. Witchery to arrive so we can start"

"_You won't have to wait long" _Jarvis said _"I detect a Quinjet about to land on the roof"_

"That's it, girls. Finish line. Are you ready for this?" Dash asks Twilight Odinson

"Ready as I can be" Twilight smiles

"What about you, Applejack? Applejack?" Dash turns her head in Apple Rogers' direction

Apple was staring at Tony Dash's shirtless abs, blush on her cheeks.

"Applejack!" Dash shouts

"Uh, what?" Apple says as if she was waking up from a (day)dream

"_Excuse me, I must alert y*!45¨457&*(SYSTEM FAILLLLLLLLURRRRGHS!46*(*&+}/#$"_

"Jarvis! What's wrong?" Pepper asks, apprehensive

"_BzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzDANG-DANG-DANGRERERER Lalala banana-a-a-a-a" _

"JARVIS!"

_"You-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u Heeeeeehheeh have co-co-comp aneee $%&%$GUESTSSSSS AReVaYD()"_

"What's wrong?" Bruce asks "Did he say 'guests arrived'?"

"Jarvis!" Pepper pleads one more time. But only static came back.

"This is not normal" Twilight muttered to herself "This is not good"

"I'll go upstairs to check it out" Natasha said, still carrying the scepter

"Be careful" Banner warned

Arriving on the Penthouse, Natasha sees no sign of life "Jarvis! Can you talk to me? Where are the 'guests'?"

_"Beeeeee hi-hi-hi"_

"What?"

_"Behind grapefruit" _he says, faintly

"Agent Romanoff!" Natasha turns to see Loki behind her "How kind of you to bring me my scepter"

"You!"

"It's fascinating what a little chaos magic can do to a machine, isn't it?" Loki says, smirking

"_Lasagna" _Jarvis said, with as much contempt as a computer could express

"What you did to Clint?" Natasha asks, angry

"What didn't I do?"

Angry, Natasha tries to hit Loki with the scepter, but he grabs it before it hits his face. After futilely trying to take the scepter out of his grip, Natasha tries to hit him with a roundhouse kick, but Loki grabs her leg with his free hand.

Unable to move, Natasha looks at Loki with an expression that she hardly ever demonstrates: _fear_.

Smiling, Loki makes a simple movement with his wrist and twists Natasha's ankle.

Natasha falls on the floor, holding back her screams. Loki quickly pins her down and grabs her hair, pulling it, so he can talk to her face.

"Such arrogance and stupidity" Loki smiles "to think you, a _woman_, could ever best me in battle"

Natasha spits on his face.

"Defiance. The last resort of the defeated" Loki says, before he punches her hard in the face, knocking her out.

Loki cleans the saliva off of his face and grabs his scepter.

"She should have been back already" Twilight remarks

"I don't like this…" Bruce says

"What's goin' on? Can somepony explain to me?" Apple says

"I'll go check" Pepper says moving towards the stairs

"That won't be necessary, Ms. Potts" Loki appears in front of her.

"Oh my gosh!" Apple says

"Loki!" Bruce shouts, moving towards them

"That's close enough!" Loki says, grabbing Pepper and pressing the blade of his scepter against her neck "Not one more step"

Bruce stops, his back turned against Twilight, Dash, and Apple, staring at Loki.

"Is that green I see in your eyes?" Loki asks him "Do you really think that is a good idea?"

Bruce's shoulders fall as he hangs his head in defeat.

"That's better" Loki says "Now, would you kindly give one step forward?"

Bruce eyes him with disgust but complies. Quickly, Loki touches Bruce's chest with his scepter, as Banner's eyes turn white.

"Oh, no" Selvig whispers

Loki laughs "Oh, what to do? I would love to make you squash your little friends, but the creature is too unpredictable for me to risk it. Turn around"

"Alright" Bruce says, numbly as he turns his back to Loki

With incredible speed, Loki throws Pepper against the wall, where she falls unconscious. In the same fraction of a second, with both hands free, Loki snaps Bruce's neck.

"Dear Celestia!" Twilight cries

"Bruce!" Dash screams as Bruce's body falls lifeless on the floor.

"You monster!" Apple shouts as she charges against Loki

Loki, however, stops her by grabbing her neck and lifting her with ease from the ground.

"Greetings. I believe we haven't been introduced yet" Loki smirks "I am Loki" and saying that, he throws her through the window, where she falls screaming to her doom.

"Applejack!" Dash cries "No!"

"Excuse me, I'm going to need this" Loki says, yanking the arc reactor off of Dash's chest

Dash's body begins to jerk with pain. Loki unceremoniously throws her out of the chair. She faceplants on the floor.

Twilight was horrified. This couldn't be happening. Her first instinct was to blast Loki with her magic. She even pointed her forehead at him. She even pointed it at Applejack, trying to save her. Useless. Helpless. Without her magic, what could she do? Just stare as her friends were…

_Killed?_

With tears on her eyes and rage on her heart, Twilight charges "I'M GOING TO **KILL **YOU!"

"Not if I kill you first" Loki says and stabs Twilight on her belly with the scepter.

Pain.

Twilight wanted to scream. But she didn't, like her vocal chords were too shocked to react. She has never felt so much pain. She touches her wound. She looks at her hands. Blood. Her blood. She falls to her knees.

"Pathetic sentimentalism" Loki says, and turns to Selvig "Hello, Doctor. I think it's time we restart our partnership"

Erik grabs a screwdriver from the table and presses against his own throat "I rather die!"

Loki smiles "You're not going to kill yourself, Doctor"

"Yes, I will!"

"No, you won't" Loki says and calmly touches Selvig with his scepter

"No…" is all Erik manages to whimper before his eyes turn a ghostly blue and he's under Loki's control once again.

"So, Doctor" Loki smiles "A little bird told me you found a way to make the portals self-sustainable"

"That's correct" Selvig said, smiling stupidly "Dr. Banner came up with most of the theory as he would tell you himself if you hadn't killed him"

"So, you could open more than one portal?" Loki asks "That would remain open indefinitely?"

"In theory, yes"

"Could you open one right now?" Loki lifts the arc reactor he pulled from Dash's chest "With this?"

"Sure" Selvig answered, smiling "We just need to charge it long enough to…"

"Erik…" Twilight says, faintly "Don't do it…"

"Silence!" Loki says, shooting a concussive blast from his scepter at her "Continue your work doctor"

Twilight falls just a few steps away, her face pressing against the cold floor. She now sees Dash trying hard to speak…

"Twi… Twilight… I…"

"Rainbow… Stay with me!"

Dash tries to speak again, but her mouth doesn't make any sound. Slowly, life vanishes from her eyes.

"Dash… no…" Twilight cries

Dr. Selvig presses the button. The machine in connection with Tony Dash's arc reactor opens the rift to Equestria. Loki concentrates on the hex on the other side. He removes it, replacing it by one of his own. Selvig turns off the machine, but the portal remains open.

"There. The portal is unblocked. Consider that a little gift of mine to you" Loki mockingly tells Twilight "Now, me and the doctor will take the machine and the Tesseract to make some portals of our own. We won't need this anymore" Loki drops the arc reactor on the floor and stomps it, destroying it, as Twilight watches, helplessly.

Back on the roof, Hill had regained consciousness.

"Barton? Barton?" Hill tries to awaken Clint, but it's useless "Shit! Agent down! Loki has escaped! Anyone copy?" she yells at her earpiece, but only static comes back. And she's pretty sure she heard the word '_Carpaccio_' in the middle of the noise.

"It would be wise to stay down, Deputy Hill" Maria turns to see Loki and Selvig coming out of the roof access.

Hill raises her gun, but Loki's faster, touching her chest with his scepter. Hill was under his control now.

"Can you fly that vehicle?" Loki points to the Quinjet

"Yes, sir" Hill answers in the same manner she would answer Fury

"Please" Loki smiles, as Maria enters the Quinjet and Selvig loads the machine.

Clint manages to regain consciousness just in time to see them flying away "Shit…"

"_Meat… balls… REBOOTING, PLEASE WAIT…"_ Jarvis voice comes from the ceiling "_CALIBRATING PREFERENCES… Oh, it's good to be back…"_

"I… I… I failed them" Twilight, who was slowly but surely recovering from her stab wound, said while choking back tears "I couldn't save my friends… They're… they're d…" she breaks down and cries

"_Ms. Sparkle, please, pull yourself together_" Jarvis said, with the best tone of urgency he could express "_There's still a faint sign of life on Master Stark's body. I need you to replace his chest reactor"_

"Loki… Loki destroyed it…" Twilight says, drying her tears

"_Take this one" _a mechanical arm comes out of the ceiling, holding a small circular object.

Twilight takes a second to stare at the mechanical marvel before grabbing the arc reactor and rushing to Tony Dash's side. "Please work, please work, please work…" she says, turning Dash's body and inserting the reactor on her chest.

After a few apprehensive seconds, Dash catapults back to life.

Twilight shed tears of happiness "Oh, Rainbow… I thought I lost you"

"I… I was…" Dash tries to say

"Don't say it"

"I talked with Tony Stark"

"Wait, what?" Twilight asks

"GAK!" Bruce coughs, as he suddenly gets up

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Twilight and Dash scream in unison

"What… what happened?" Bruce speaks with difficulty, caressing his throat. Twilight notices a weird green glow slowly fading away from his neck.

"You… you were dead!" Dash shouts "Loki snapped your neck!"

"Wow, really?" Bruce asks

"YOU WERE DEAD!" Dash repeats

"Well, I got better" Bruce answers

"Got better?! YOU WERE DEAD!"

"To be fair, so was you" Twilight chimes in

"I'm hard to kill" Bruce explains

Suddenly, they hear a noise and turn to the stairs to see Clint and Natasha climbing down, using each other as crutches.

"Is everyone alright?" Clint asks

Twilight lowers her head "Applejack…"

Dash sheds a few tears.

"Pepper is hurt" Bruce says, putting her body gently in a chair "Nothing really serious, but she will need rest and care"

"Loki escaped" Clint says "We need to…"

"_Hello? Can somepony hear me? Help!"_

"Is that… Steve?" Natasha asks

"Applejack!" Dash shouts, and moves towards the broken window.

Looking down, Dash sees Apple Rogers standing on top of one of the many tower cranes surrounding the Stark Tower construction area, waving at her.

"Oh, thank Celestia" Dash sighs, relieved "It's Applejack! She's alright!" she yells to the others who come to see her.

"Can somepony help me out here?" Apple yells

"Stand back!" Clint says, unfolding his bow and taking an arrow out of his quiver. He aims a few inches away from Apple Rogers' feet and releases the string.

The arrow hits and attaches itself to the metal structure. Behind it, a strong steel wire led the way back towards the broken window.

"Climb up!" Clint shouts to Apple, while fixating the other end of the wire on the floor.

Apple looks down at the vertiginous height that separates herself from the ground "_'Climb up'_, huh? Easy like that, huh?" she laughs nervously, and begins to climb.

"Nice shot!" Twilight tells Clint

"Guys, should we be worried about that?" Natasha points at the little rift in the time/space continuum that floats over the table.

"Oh, man…" Banner says "Loki opened a portal…"

"And he unblocked it too" Twilight says

"What?!" Bruce and Dash say in unison

"At least, that's what he told me… when I was bleeding on the floor…"

"When you were WHAT?!" Dash shouts

"Yeah, he stabbed me. You saw it, don't you remember?"

"Twilight, the only thing I remember is panic and hitting my face on the floor" Dash says "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, surprisingly" Twilight answered "I don't feel anything anymore"

"Fast healing" Bruce says "One of the advantages of being an Asgardian"

"Guardian of whose ass?" Dash asked

"Asgardian? What is that?" Twilight asked

"What you are" Bruce answered "Asgard is the homeland of Thor and Loki. They are a lot tougher there than the 'puny humans' from here"

"Is that how you survived?" Twilight asked "You're an Asgardian?"

"Who, me? Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm… I'm something else…"

"Can we go back to the orbiting light of doom?" Clint says, pointing to the rift

"Oh, right! You said it's unblocked?" Dash asks Twilight "So we can go back!"

"_Loki _said it's unblocked" Twilight pointed out "Do you really think we can trust him?"

"Are ya crazy?" Apple, who just arrived through the window, said "That son of a mule, sorry for my potty mouth, tried to kill us all! We can't trust that bastard in whatever it is ya two are talkin' about"

"But it could be our only chance…" Dash protested

"Rainbow Dash, there's no way we can be sure…" Twilight started

"Yes, there is" Dash said "I'll go"

Suddenly, Natasha has a strong headache. She looks at the rift, which is pulsing. Something doesn't feel right…

"Rainbow, are you sure you wanna go inside?" Bruce asks

"I'm not afraid"

"I know you're not" Bruce says "But this thing could take you anywhere. Far away from Equestria. As far as we know, Loki may have made it so anyone who gets in contact with it is disintegrated"

"So, we just wait?" Dash said "I'm sorry, but I'm tired of this. I'm willing to take the risk"

"You're willing to die?" Bruce asks

"Yes"

"You're willing to leave them?" Bruce points at Twilight and Apple

Dash stops. She looks at Twilight and Apple both with fearful looks on their eyes "I… Pinkie… Fluttershy, Rarity… They need me in Equestria…"

"We need ya here" Apple says

"You're needed in both places, Rainbow" Bruce says "But you can't help anyone if you're nowhere. And as far as we know, Tony may be the only trump card your friends have on their side. What will happen to him if you go inside, if anything goes wrong?"

Dash hangs her head and turns around, moving away from the portal.

"Believe me, you made the sensible choice" Bruce says

"That'll be a first" Dash replies with a small smile

"We need to do something about Loki" Clint says "He escaped in the Quinjet with Dr. Selvig and Hill under his control. We need to stop them before they get too far. Contacting the Helicarrier, explaining the situation, and requesting another Quinjet will take too long"

"So, what do we do?" Twilight asked

"Rainbow Dash, we need you to fly after them" Clint says

"What?!" Dash asks, incredulous "Did you suffer brain damage? I'm not a Pegasus anymore! I can't fly!"

"_Actually, you can"_ Jarvis said

"Wait, what?" Twilight says

"I can?!" Dash asks

"She can?" Apple asks

In the middle of the room, a couple of tiles disappear to leave room for two mechanical boots "_Ms. Dash, please insert your feet on the boots"_

Dash gives in a puzzled look.

"If you don't put those boots on, I will" Clint says

Dash looks at Twilight, who nods. Dash puts the boots on. They lock in.

"Whoa! What the hay?"

Suddenly, two heavy machineries appear from the ceiling "_Ms. Dash, please insert your arms in the apertures of the machines at your sides"_

Dash gulps but complies. As soon as she does so, more machines appear from the ceiling and the ground, slowly encasing her in a suit of armor.

Twilight and Apple watch, dumbfounded

"The contingency plan…" Twilight mutters

"Man of Iron…" Apple whispers

"What the hay is going on?" Dash shouts, mildly panicking

"_Please, stay still, Ms. Dash" _Jarvis said _"It will be over in an instant"_

Finally, the helmet begins to assemble over Dash's head, who gives one last look of confusion and mild panic, before the faceplate closes in.

_"Welcome to the Iron Man Suit, Ms. Dash"_

Twilight Odinson and Apple Rogers stare at the red/gold metallic figure before them. Dash, who's just as confused, looks at her metal-gloved hands.

"_I wouldn't point that to your face if I were you, Ms. Dash" _Jarvis warns

"Uh… okay, then…" Dash says, pointing her palms down.

"Rainbow Dash, you…" Apple starts "You look great!"

"Do I? Thanks!" Dash replies

"_I know you and your friends would love to talk about your new outfit, but I must remind you we have a Quinjet to catch"_

"Okay, but… how I'm supposed to fly with this?" Dash asks him "I still don't have wings and even if I had, I'm not sure being encased in a heavy suit of armor, no matter how cool it is, would facilitate my flight"

"_Since this will be your first time using the armor, I will guide you through most of the course_" Jarvis says "_Now, get ready for takeoff_"

"Takeoff? What…" Dash begins to say when the jet boots ignite, launching the armor at neck breaking speed through the windows and towards the skies "HOLY SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…"

Twilight and Apple recover from the surprise.

"An armor… that can fly…" Apple stutters

"Stark built that?" Twilight asked, a feeling of inferiority briefly taking hold of her

"He built seven of those" Clint answers "Now that Rainbow is in pursuit, we need to contact the Helicarrier and explain the situation. They'll send someone to give us a ride. We better go to the roof"

"I'll stay here" Bruce says

"We need all the help we can get" Clint protests

"I think the Big Guy will be more of a nuisance than help under these circumstances" Bruce says "Plus, Pepper needs medical care"

_The Big Guy? _Apple Rogers and Twilight Odinson exchange curious looks

"You're not a medic"

"And you are?"

"I have first aid training" Clint replied

"Look, you may be a little more qualified than me to take care of her. But you are a LOT more qualified than me to go after Loki. I'm more useful here" Bruce says "Plus, someone has to keep an eye on that" he points to the rift

"Okay, then" Clint says "You ponies want to stay here too?"

"Ya said yaself" Apple says "Ya need all the help ya can get. And I'm not gonna let that monster get away with trying to kill my friends"

"I'll help anyway I can" Twilight says

_And how **can** you help? _Clint thinks but keeps to himself "Okay, let's go"

Natasha gives two steps, before falling down, holding her head, feeling a horrible headache.

"Tasha! Are you alright?"

"It's just my ankle" Natasha lies "It's nothing. Let's go"

"You call your head 'ankle' now?" Clint says "Maybe you should stay here with Banner, so he…"

"I said I'm fine" Natasha says, determined, going towards the elevator

"Where are we heading, sir?" Maria Hill asks, piloting the Quinjet

"That's a pertinent question, Deputy Hill" Loki answers "Where should we go first? Is the portal device ready, Doctor?"

"Point and shoot" Selvig answered, the stupid smile still glued on his face

"Well, now that you found a way to make more than one portal, we, obviously, won't open just one" Loki says "I believe our attack will be a little harder to contain once my troops are coming from portals on every single continent. Still, we need a noteworthy first stand. This may sound a little trite but… take me to your leader"

"Adjusting flight plan for Washington DC" Hill said "Hmm… Sir? It appears we are being tailed"

"_Ms. Dash, I would appreciate if you stopped screaming"_

"WHAT'S GOING ON?! HOW CAN THIS FLY SO FAST?! WHAT ARE THESE BLINKING LIGHTS ON MY FACE?!"

"_The Heads Up Display showcases any information you may desire" _Jarvis explains "_and any information I may consider important or essential for the users of the armor, be it for their survival or the completion of their mission"_

"This is only becoming 'essential' for my headache!" Dash replies "How can Stark read these stuff?"

"_Master Stark has a multitasking mindset_" Jarvis says "_We are approaching our target. Use your hand repulsors to help you brake_"

"Like this?" Dash puts her hands forward. She begins to move backwards "Whoa!" she turns her hands back to stop her momentum. After a few more brakes, she stays still, floating in the air "Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this!"

"_As you should. Master Stark designed the armor's software for intuitive use_" Jarvis said "_It shouldn't be much harder than flying on your own. Any other aspects of the armor like targeting and artillery can be activated by voice command or synapse tracking. Just think and I'll do the rest"_

"Wait, you can read my thoughts?" Dash looks at a bird in the distance. Suddenly, her HUD zooms in, showing a picture and the name of the species "Cool! What else can you do?"

The HUD starts to fill up with all kinds of information Tony Dash requests by thought alone, from the world record for fastest solo flight (held by Stark himself) to cupcake recipes.

"This is so cool!" Dash laughs "Jarvis, you're awesome!"

"_Ms. Dash, may I remind you we have a mission?"_

"Oh, right. Sorry, Jarvis"

"_It's quite alright" _Jarvis replies _"It feels good for someone to finally recognize my, as you would say, awesomeness"_

Dash laughs "You're my kind of computer guy, Jarvis"

_"Thank you. Target at 12 o'clock" _Jarvis says "_Taking the hostages into consideration, full assault and heavy artillery is out of question. A moderate repulsor blast will be good enough to delay them for a more efficient approach"_

"Eh?"

"_Point your open hands at it"_

"Oh, got it" Dash fires at the Quinjet

"Incoming!" Hill shouts before the whole jet shakes, making her hit her head against the controls.

"Oh, Jesus!" Selvig says, trying to maintain the machine steady.

Irritated, Loki opens the loading ramp, so he can shoot his scepter at Tony Dash "Why can't you stay dead?!"

_"Executing evasive maneuvers" _Jarvis says as the Iron Man armor does a barrel roll.

Inside the Quinjet, Maria Hill recovers consciousness, no longer under Loki's control. Silently, she grabs her gun, aiming at Loki's head.

"Loki! Watch out!" the still brainwashed Selvig warns him

Loki turns just in time to dodge Hill's shot. Now, some of you may argue that Loki didn't need to do that because he's impervious to bullets. Humans are impervious to baseballs. Have you ever been hit by a baseball in the fucking face? It fucking hurts, man! Even if it doesn't kill you, you **DO NOT** want to be hit by a baseball in the fucking face!

"Shit!" Hill tries to shoot again, but Loki is onto her. He punches her in the face and, while she's disorientated, throws her out of the Quinjet.

_"Loki just threw a hostage out" _Jarvis said, while the HUD zoomed in Hill, displaying her picture, name, and rank.

"Got it!" Tony Dash said, and dashed to the rescue.

Loki sits on the pilot seat, angry. This is a job for servants, not kings. But he doubts the good doctor knows how to pilot this vehicle. Provisory situations require provisory actions. Good thing the Deputy already established a flight plan "Secure the device, doctor. We must leave this mortal cesspool they call a city immediately"

Meanwhile, Hill was still falling to her death before the, oh, so soft, metallic arms of the Iron Man armor caught her in the air.

"Nice day for a flight, isn't it?" Dash jokes to Hill

Hill only takes a second to bark orders "You need to go back to pursuit right now! Before Loki escapes!"

"Yeah, and I'm supposed to fight while holding you, huh?" Dash asks "What if he throws Dr. Selvig out too? No. I'll bring you back to the tower, then we try to put Loki back into the Cookie Jar, ok?"

"My safety is not a priority!" Hill stubbornly insists "Loki is a dangerous war criminal! You need to resume pursuit now!"

"No way, lady" Dash says "I'm bringing you to safety"

"Turn back now! It's an order!"

"You're not the boss of me!"

"It's charged!" Selvig says "Say the word and we'll open another portal!"

"Not here, doctor" Loki says "Their armed forces are still stationed on this area ever since our last battle. Response to a new attack would be immediate. That would be… troublesome"

"What about the one you opened in the tower?" Selvig inquired

"That wasn't for my troops" Loki says "That was just for our equine friends, as you should know already"

"Well, of course" Selvig smiled stupidly "But I have to say… it was surprisingly nice of you to unblock it…"

"Oh, I didn't just 'unblock' it" Loki smiled "I improved it. Now, the swapping process will be faster and randomized. The victim won't even need to come within reach to be displaced"

"Oh, that makes sense" Erik simply said, and went back to his work

What Loki didn't tell him, however, is that he had help. He can't quite explain it, but when he was performing his hex, he felt a mysterious force from the other side helping him. Like they both wanted the same thing. Who was it? Doesn't matter. It worked, didn't it?

"Here she comes" Clint tells the others, as Dash lands on the roof, carrying Maria Hill

"There you go" Dash says, dropping her "Safe and sound"

"He got way!" Hill protests "You let a mass murderer escape! I hope you're happy"

"You're welcome" Dash says, slightly irritated

"Rainbow Dash, that… that was…" Apple says "_You_ were awesome!"

"Thanks!" Dash winks "Are you going to contest my 'Iron Pony' title now?"

Apple chuckles, and then says under her breath "Ya used your wings. Ya cheated"

"Says Ms. I'm An Earth Pony Which Means I Have A Natural Advantage At Strenght" Dash replies, angry "I won. Deal with it"

"You already rescued me!" Hill buts in, angry "Why don't you go back after him?"

"Actually, Hill" Clint says "I contacted the Helicarrier. Fury wants to talk with all of us before we take any further steps. They already sent another Quinjet"

"But…" Hill starts to protest but sighs "I… I can't remember where they're headed. I just know it's not here. I do remember something about Selvig being able to open more than one portal, and that Loki intends to exploit that ability"

"Why is Selvig helping him?" Twilight asks

"It's the scepter" Natasha explains "It makes everyone who's touched by it change their allegiance for Loki's. If you three are really going all the way through with this, you need to remember: Don't let him touch you with the scepter!"

The Quinjet arrives and every man, woman and pony in the roof boards it. Natasha walks with difficulty, tormented by her headache. She tries not to show it. Dash is doing a little dance inside the armor.

"Uh… Jarvis? Can I ask something just between us?" Dash talks inside the helmet "How do you take this thing off? It's been almost two days that…"

"_You can pee inside the armor, Ms. Dash" _Jarvis answers

"How did you…"

"_I can 'read' your thoughts, remember?"_

"Oh, right" Dash says "But… pee _inside _the armor? This doesn't sound very…"

"_Don't worry, Ms. Dash" _Jarvis replies "_The armor was built with this predicament in mind. It runs it through a filtration system. You could drink that water if you…"_

"Ok, ok. I got it" Dash says "…are you sure?"

"_Yes, ma'am_"

Dash was about to ask again, but she couldn't hold it any longer. She releases.

"Ah! Much better!" Dash said, relieved "Wait a minute! My pee… is coming from… **THIS IS NOT A FINGER!**"

**15 minutes ago...**

"I said I'm fine" Natasha says, determined, going towards the elevator

"Agent Romanoff" Bruce says "I can take a look if you…"

"You already have a patient, Doctor" and with that, she and the others took the elevator.

Bruce sighs and stays beside the unconscious Pepper. He analyzes the injuries. Nothing serious. Where is the First Aid kit?

"Jarvis? Where is the First Aid kit?" he asks, but receives no answer. Guess Jarvis is still recovering from Loki's attack in the tower: Unable to be in the Iron Man suit and the tower at the same time… Maybe he's running an anti-virus or something…

Bruce searches the lab, avoiding the glowing portal, looking for the kit.

He finally finds it under a table. His joy is cut short, however, when he turns and sees the portal expanding, ready to swallow him.

"Oh, crap…" is all he says before being sucked in…

Bruce blinks his eyes, as the world reappears before him. Except… this wasn't Stark Tower's ceiling!

He stands up and looks around. This is definitely NOT Stark Tower, it's a… a… bakery? Yes... A cake store to be more precise. Bruce approaches the glass counters to see his reflection. Yup. As he suspected. He's no longer in New York and he's no longer himself. He's a pony.

He understands now why Rainbow Dash freaked out when he showed her the picture of a pony. They were nothing alike. Bruce's pony body had big blue eyes, a round face, and, perhaps the most remarkably different characteristic of all…

…he was pink!


	11. Pinkie and The Brain

**CHAPTER ELEVEN  
**

**PINKIE AND THE BRAIN  
**

"WE NEED TO COME BACK NOW!"

"Tony, calm down!" Steve Jack pleaded with Rainbow Stark "What's wrong?"

Stark takes a few seconds to breathe "Loki escaped" he says

"What?!" Thor shouted

"No, 'Discord' escaped" Spike says "His name is Discord"

"Shut up, Wally Gator" Stark snaps angrily at Spike "This is serious! Loki escaped!"

"How do you know that?" Steve asked him

"Lesbian Dash told me in the limbo" Stark said

"What?" Steve says, confused

"Wait, who's Loki?" Rarity asks

"He's **_our _**Discord" Stark answers

"He's **my brother!**" Thor replies

Rarity and Spike turn to Thor Sparkle

"…or… he used to be…" Thor says, sad

"Rainbow said that he killed Bruce" Stark continues

"That's impossible!" Steve says

"I know, I know" Stark says, exasperated "She doesn't know what happened to Pepper! God, Steve, if anything happened to Pep, I… I…" a single tear falls from his eye

"Nothing happened, Tony" Steve tries to reassure him "She's okay. You need to have faith in that"

"I need to go back! That's what I need to do!" Stark yelled

"STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" everypony in the room turns, surprised, at the basement direction, where Fluttershy's scream came from.

"Uh… what? Where's mommy?" Trixie mumbles, awaken by Fluttershy's scream

"Oh, dear. It's Fluttershy" Rarity says, worried "What could have happened?"

"Let's find out" Steve says, trotting down the stairs "Ms. Fluttershy, ma'am? Are you alright?"

Steve finds Fluttershy in the ground, an expression of fear paralyzed on her face.

"Fluttershy! Oh, my God! I need help here!" Steve yells to the others.

**Meanwhile, at Sugar Cube Corner...**

"Your cake is ready, Pinkie" Mrs. Cake said, while she and her husband came out of the kitchen holding the cake.

Pinkie, however, didn't turn. She was looking at her reflex on the glass counters, thoughtful.

"Uh, Pinkie?" Mrs. Cake calls her again "Your cake"

Pinkie kept reflecting at her reflection, lost in thoughts.

"I think she didn't hear you, honey" Mr. Cake says

"Pinkie, your…" Mrs. Cake begins to say, but stops, feeling tired all of sudden. Her knees falter, and she falls on the floor.

"Honey!" Mr. Cake says, worried

Pinkie finally notices them "Oh, my. Lady, are you okay?"

"I… I'm feeling a little tired, that's all…" Mrs. Cake said, trying to get up. Mr. Cake and Pinkie help her.

"She's been feeling tired often these last weeks" Mr. Cake says, still worried

Pinkie gives in a thoughtful look "When did you start feeling fatigue?" she asks

"I don't know… last month?" Mrs. Cake says

"I see. I think you should sit down" Pinkie says, pulling a chair. Mrs. Cake sits. Out of nowhere, Pinkie pulls a stethoscope and places it on Mrs. Cake belly.

Pinkie stops, looking at her stethoscope "Where did this come from?" she shakes her head, and places the stethoscope back into Mrs. Cake belly "Have you been feeling nauseous lately?" she asks Mrs. Cake

"Only in the morning" she answers

"I see"

"I didn't know you were a doctor, Pinkie" Mr. Cake says

"I have a minor in biology" Pinkie answered "It's not the same as a full medical education, I know, but it was good enough. All other necessary skills, I learned by practicing while I was on the run"

"On the run?" Mr. Cake asks, shocked "You're a fugitive?"

Pinkie looks at him "Uh… kind of…"

"Oh, my, Pinkie!" Mrs. Cake said "What did you do?"

"Look, I can explain, Ms…" Pinkie pauses "What was your name again?"

Mr. and Mrs. Cake stare at Pinkie, incredulously

"We're the Cakes!" Mr. Cake says, enraged "We gave you food, a roof, a job! And all this time you've been lying to us!"

"Carrot, please" Mrs. Cake pleaded to her husband "I'm sure Pinkie meant no harm"

"But, honey, we've been harboring a fugitive!" Mr. Cake says "We don't even know if her name really is Pinkie!"

"It's not"

"What?!" they turn the heads towards the pink pony

"My name is Bruce" Bruce Pie said

"Spruce?" Mrs. Cake said

"Is there anything true about you?!" Mr. Cake yells

"Carrot, calm down" Mrs. Cake pleaded

"Look, Mr. Cake, I'm sorry" Bruce said "I don't wanna cause trouble for the future parents"

"Wait, what?!"

"Your wife is pregnant, Mr. Cake" Bruce smiled "Congratulations"

Mr. & Mrs. Cake stare at Bruce before looking at each other, tears of joy in their eyes.

"Oh, Carrot, this is wonderful!" Mrs. Cake said

"We've been trying for so long" Mr. Cake says, kissing his wife

Bruce smiles at them. He always wanted to be a father, and since he can't, it's nice to see others fulfill his dream.

That's when it hits him.

"Excuse me, I need to talk with… uh…" _what was her name again? _"…Rainbow Dash. You know where I can find him… her?"

"She's probably on the library party, dear" Mrs. Cake said "That's where you said you were heading to"

"Oh, the library… alright" Bruce says "Where is the library?"

Mr. and Mrs. Cake stare at Bruce, confused.

"I'm not feeling myself today" Bruce explains

"The library is the big hollow tree in the middle of town" Mr. Cake said

_They built a library inside a hollow tree? That's like storing shark oil inside the carcass of a Great White._

"Thanks" Bruce Pie said "I gotta go" and with that, Bruce left the cake store in a hurry.

"Wait, Pinkie! Spruce!" Mr. Cake said "You forgot your cake!"

But Bruce didn't pay attention to him as he didn't pay attention to the yellow filly who was just outside the door, eavesdropping everything.

_Pinkie is a fugitive! _Applebloom thinks as she watches 'Pinkie' rushing towards the library _I need to tell the others_

"You know, I should have suspected" Mr. Cake says "'Pinkie' did sound like a made up name"

"I don't care about her real name" Mrs. Cake said with a smile "She'll always be Pinkie to me"

"Well, what's in a name?" Mr. Cake chuckled

"Speaking of which" Mrs. Cake said, caressing her belly "If it's a filly, I want to name her Pumpkin"

**Back at the library…**

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Stark asks the disoriented Fluttershy

"W-what are fingers?" Fluttershy asks, her eyes rolling all over the place

"You don't have any fingers, Tony!" Steve says, annoyed

Stark shrugs and goes to the next usual '_concussion question_' "What's your name?"

"Shutterfly…" Fluttershy answers still dizzy

"She's gonna be alright" Stark says as Rarity, Steve and Spike frown at him

"Can somepony untie me, please?" Trixie asks

"Fuck off, Harry Fraudini" Stark snaps at her "We ain't gonna let you go after what you did to Thor"

"What the hay did I do to him?!" Trixie yells

"What you did to him?" Stark says, angry "You broke his leg after playing squash with his body in the town square!"

"What? No, I didn't. I…" Trixie turns to look at Thor, sitting on his pillow, who looks back at her, angry "I… I…"

"You don't remember?" Steve asks her

"No, I…"

"Oh, come on, Steve" Stark says "She's just trying to save face. It's all she does: try to save face"

"I… I didn't mean to" Trixie turns to Thor Sparkle "I'm sorry"

"You didn't mean to? Oh, yeah. Your screams of joy were totally unintentional" Stark mocked, angry "Next you're gonna say the voices made you do it"

Trixie eyes widen "The voice… THE VOICE!" she shouts "The voice made me do it!"

"Jesus Christ, you're pathetic" Stark says. Trixie sheds a few tears.

"I'm not feeling very well…" Fluttershy moaned

"Tony, we need to take care of Fluttershy" Steve says

"She's fine! We need to find our way back!" Stark barked back "Don't you understand? With Loki free and we stuck here, everyone is in danger!"

"How do you know Loki is free?" Steve asked, annoyed

"I already told you! I…"

"Ahem! Excuse me?"

They turn their heads towards the door, where 'Pinkie' stands.

"Not now, Pinkie" Stark says "I'm sorry but we're in the middle of something important"

"Tony? Is that really you?" Bruce Pie asks

Rainbow Stark looks inquisitively at him.

"It's me, Bruce!" Bruce says

"Bruce?" Stark asked "Bruce! Oh, my God! You're okay!" Stark hugs his pal "But… Rainbow said you were dead… Pepper! Is Pepper okay?"

"Yes, Tony, she's fine. A few bruises, but nothing serious"

"Oh, thank God, Bruce" Stark hugs him even tighter "But… Loki? He…?"

"Escaped?" Bruce completes for him "Unfortunately"

"So… another friend of yours?" Rarity asks

"Oh, right. Bruce, meet the guys" Stark points at Steve Jack "This is Steve as a manlier version of himself" Steve glares at him "The one in the pillow is Thor who went from Norse God to Horse God. Except for the 'God' part. The tied one is Trixie the Traitor" Trixie frowns, her eyes red "The odd couple over here is Rarity and Spike, who live in sin. And the one drooling on the carpet is Fluttershy"

"Is she okay?" Bruce asks, worried

"I'm not feeling very well…" Fluttershy moans again

"She's fine" Stark says "She just caught a rare disease that makes her say '_I'm not feeling very well' _over and over again" Steve, Rarity, and Spike frown at him "Hey, where's the cake? You were supposed to bring us cake! If you say the cake was a lie, I'll punch you in the face!"

Bruce ignores him "What happened, Fluttershy?"

"P-Pinkie?" Fluttershy asks Bruce with difficulty

"Almost" Bruce smiles softly at her

"T-the Elements…"

"Elements?" Bruce asks

"Elements of Harmony" Stark says "It's a stupid thing they have here. Apparently, it can cure cancer or something. The only thing it **_doesn't _**do is bring us back home!"

"So I've heard. Rainbow told me about them" Bruce turns to Fluttershy "Please, continue"

"The Elements… they were floating…" Fluttershy mumbles

"Floating?" Stark asks

"Light… an orb of light... it…"

"Swallowed you?" Bruce asks. Fluttershy nods.

"Does that mean something to you?" Stark asks Bruce

"It was how I was brought here" Bruce says "Loki opened a rift. It grew, swallowed me, and I woke up here like this"

"Wait, what?" Stark says "But… if what happened to Fluttershy happened to you… then she should have changed bodies with you, not Pinkie! Pinkie wasn't even close to the basement! That… that doesn't make any sense!"

_**"And what fun is there in making sense?"**_

"Wait, what?" Stark says, looking at the ceiling

"Oh, no…" Fluttershy whimpers

"Oh, dear" Rarity says

"Oh, _now _you hear the voice, huh?" Trixie says with scorn

**"_Oh, my. I'm repeating myself. How shameful" _**the voice continues **_"Then again, considering that only two of you were there the first time, is not that bad"_**

"Where is it coming from?" Bruce asks

**_"Over here, my little ponies"_**

They turn their heads towards a portrait on the desk. The portrait had Twilight and Spike smiling to the camera with goatees and glasses drawn on their faces. In between them was…

"Discord!" Rarity yells

"Wait… _that's_ Discord?" Stark laughed "He looks like a kindergartener's imaginary friend! What's so scary about him?"

Discord snaps his fingers. Stark's mouth is stitched shut.

"Mmmf! Mffgh!" Stark panics trying to open the stitches

"Here, let me help you" Bruce says, pulling a pair of scissors out of nowhere, trying not to think where they came from or how he is able to use them without fingers.

"I'm sorry for that" Discord said "But I don't wish to be interrupted right now"

"What do you want?" Steve asks

"The same as always: Have fun!" Discord answers

"At others' expense?" Steve asks

"Is there any other way?" Discord jokingly asks

"Listen, mister" Steve says, serious "I've dealt with men who deemed themselves Gods before. Men who worshipped power, who put themselves above others, who brought misery to everyone in their path. They all fancied themselves so powerful and invincible, but as long as there's a single free spirit in the world, as long as there is someone willing to fight, the forces of tyranny will never prevail!"

"For Christ's sake, Steve" Stark, whose mouth had just been freed by Bruce, said "Stop talking like a Saturday Morning Cartoon" Stark takes a minute to stare at Bruce Pie. He then looks at Rarity and Spike, turns to Discord on the portrait and, finally, back to Steve "Actually, I think we **_are _**in a Saturday Morning Cartoon. Go on"

"The forces of tyranny will never blah, blah, blah" Discord mocks "You think I haven't heard that before?"

"I don't know" Steve says "Was it before or after you were defeated and turned into stone?"

For a fraction of a second, Discord's face seems enraged, but soon turns into a cocky smile "Nice one, Mr. Rogers, nice one. Just one thing, though: I only got defeated because of the Elements of Harmony which, get that, aren't working anymore" he then turns to Stark "By the way, I wish to thank you, Tony Stark. If wasn't for your natural knack on creating disharmony and contempt, I wouldn't have been freed"

All eyes turn to Rainbow Stark "Oh, fuck you all! This is as much as your fault as it is mine" Stark protests "Had you all agreed with me, there would be no disharmony!"

"Tony, please, shut up" Bruce pleads, silently

"We don't need the Elements!" Steve proclaimed, defiantly "We only need this kingdom's love for their freedom to fight you!"

Stark puts his hoof down his throat as if simulating vomiting.

"I guess you don't know these ponies like I do" Discord said "Yes, there are some ponies like Twilight and her friends who are willing to put on a little fight. But the majority of them? Spineless little wimps who panic at the first sign of trouble. Ruling them is so easy, it's almost laughable. You will never find enough ponies that are willing to face me. They're all too afraid"

"That may be true" Steve says "But humanity too has suffered moments of fear, weakness, and indecision. Many watched as dictators rose to power, too afraid to do anything to stop them, but all those people needed was for someone to take the first stand, to set an example, to give them hope. And I bet these ponies are no different"

"You bet, huh? Okay, tell you what" Discord said "Since I'm such a good sport, I'll give you 24 hours to rally the ponies of this town before I really start to spread chaos. I won't even interfere. If you all need me, I'll be at Ghastly Gorge. Good luck. You're gonna need it" with that said, Discord disappeared in a small puff of smoke.

"Jesus Christ" Bruce says

"We're doomed" Fluttershy cries

"Don't say that, Fluttershy" Steve says "We won't go out without a fight"

"I don't know, Cap" Bruce says "This guy looks very powerful"

"Bruce is right" Stark says "It looks like he could erase us from reality with just a thought. Luckily, he's either too proud or too stupid to realize that, so we have that in our favor. Exactly how much destruction he caused last time he was free?" he asks Rarity

"He turned this town upside down!" Rarity says "He turned the houses in cardboard cut-outs, he made clouds rain chocolate, and he made me mistake a big rock for a diamond!"

"That's it?" Stark asks "No one died? He just… _joked _around? And here I thought he was a serious threat…"

"Well, maybe once he makes you act like a duck, you will think it's serious" Rarity replied, angry

"Look, _darling_" Stark said "I woke up as a Pegasus in a world full of magic Technicolor horses who, just like the inter-dimensional Norwegian deity over there, all conveniently speak English. Even if he turns me into a talking hotdog, he can't make this situation more ridiculous than it already is"

"It is a serious threat, Tony" Steve says "He's trying to deny these ponies their freedom!"

"I know a lot of people who deny ponies their freedom" Stark quipped "They're called petting zoo keepers"

"Hello?" Trixie interrupted "I'm still tied!"

"So?" Stark asks

"So? So let me out!" Trixie protests "You all saw it was Discord's fault, not mine!"

"Sure it was" Stark said, sarcastically

"Actually, even though Trixie and we may have our differences" Rarity says "I believe she's innocent here. Discord does have the power to turn ponies against each other"

"Just like Loki did with Barton" Steve says "Let her go, Tony"

"Can't she untie herself?" Stark asked with a smirk "What kind of lousy magician can't untie herself?"

Enraged, Trixie concentrates hard until her magic forces the cork out of her horn, sending it flying towards Rainbow Stark's eye.

"Ouch!" Stark cries in pain "You almost shot my eye out!"

Without a second to lose, Trixie magically unties herself and then, ties Stark with the rope, turning him upside down and knocking his head against the floor, repeatedly.

"Ouch! Ouch! Quit it!" Stark pleads

"Why don't you untie yourself, huh?" Trixie asks

"Trixie! Stop it!" Steve says

"Why? He deserves it!"

"He's defenseless!" Steve says, serious "I forgave your attack against Thor because you were under Discord's control, but tormenting Tony like that makes you nothing but a bully!"

"Oh? And you don't like bullies?" Trixie asks with a raised eyebrow

"No, ma'am" Steve says, slightly irritated "I do not"

"Then, why are you friends with one?"

Surprised, Steve is left speechless by Trixie's question.

"Yeah. I thought so" Trixie says, releasing Stark from her magic "You can keep him. I'm sick of all of you. You can all rot as far as I'm concerned" she then leaves the library, without looking back.

"Trixie, wait…" Rarity said, but Trixie was already gone

"Awkward…" Bruce mumbles

"We can't worry about her, right now" Steve finally says "We have 24 hours until we face Discord"

"You can count on me to assist you in battle, my friends" Thor proclaims

"Thor, your leg is broken" Rainbow Stark pointed out

"It is?" Bruce asks, shocked

"Why did you think he was on the pillow?" Stark asks Bruce

"Why isn't he at the hospital?" Bruce asks

"There are no hospitals here" Stark said

"Yes, there is" Spike says

"Oh" Stark says "There is. Well, then, take him to the hospital, Yoshi"

"I don't need—" Thor begins to protest

"Thor" Bruce says "It's better"

"You heard it" Stark says "Doctor's orders"

"Take Fluttershy too" Steve says

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Steve" Stark says

"And why is that?" Steve asks with a raised eyebrow

"Thor has a broken leg. A normal injury. Easy to treat" Stark explains "Fluttershy was engulfed by the magic elements of body-swapping and other fucked up things. I doubt the hospital will know what to do with her"

"So, we're just gonna let her here in pain?"

"She's not _in pain_" Stark says "She's just dizzy. She just needs to rest, that's all"

"I'd like to rest now then…" Fluttershy says, weak "If you don't mind, that is…"

"Here, I'll help you to go to bed" Steve says, helping her climb the stairs

"Come, Thor" Spike says "The hospital is not far from here"

"I'll help you, dear" Rarity says as the three leave the library

"Alone at last" Stark jokingly says to Bruce

Bruce chuckles.

"You know, I'm kinda bummed that Giggles got replaced by you. I'm gonna miss her" Stark says "But then again, you're my best buddy and, like the saying goes: **Bronies before ponies**"

"_Brony _is not a word" Bruce says

"Yes, it is" Stark says "It's 'Bruce' plus 'Tony'. It's our couple name"

"We're not a couple, Tony"

"We're not?" Stark says, pretending to be hurt "After all those special moments we had? Am I just a toy to you?"

"Tony, stop it" Bruce says, chuckling "You don't wanna make me an—" he stops mid-sentence and turns to Stark "Tony, make me angry"

"What?"

"Make me angry!" Bruce says "Punch me in the face! Annoy me!"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"PUNCH ME!" Bruce yells

Stark complies, punching Bruce hard in the face "A-are you okay? Was it too hard?"

Bruce snaps at Stark, a look of fury on his face. The look soon turns to joy.

"I can get angry" he says, smiling

"What?"

"I can get angry!" Bruce starts to bounce around the room, much like Pinkie used to do "Oh, God, it's been so long since I could get angry. It feels wonderful!"

Stark smiles "Yeah, you're free"

"I am, ain't I?" Bruce smiles back "I'm no longer the Hulk!" suddenly, Bruce shows an expression of dread "Oh, no"

"What is it?"

"Whoever is in my body now is the Hulk!" Bruce says, panic in his voice "I've spent years learning how to keep the Hulk in check! Whoever is in my body doesn't know how to control it! If she gets angry…"

Stark laughs "Pinkie getting angry? I don't think you should be worried about…"

"…or too excited" Bruce completes the thought

"Oh" Stark says "We're fucked"

Upstairs, Steve Jack had put Fluttershy in the bed.

"There you go" Steve says

"Thank you" Fluttershy says, weak "Wait, where you're going?"

Steve, who was just about to climb down the stairs, turned "I was about to meet the others. Why?"

"I… I don't want to be alone…"

"Want me to tell you a story?" Steve asks

"I'm not a baby" Fluttershy says, slightly annoyed

"I know you're not" Steve says "Is just something to help you sleep. I'm gonna tell you one of my favorite stories. It's about a lion who was considered cowardly, but together with his friends: Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow and the Tin Woodsman, he bravely defeated the Wicked Witch and they all became heroes of the Wonderful World of Oz"

"I… I think I'm gonna like this story…"

Back downstairs…

"We need to go back!" Bruce says

"I know that!" Stark says "But to do that we need to force the Elements of Stubbornness to cooperate!"

"And where are these elements?" Bruce asks

"Down"

In the basement, Bruce Pie and Rainbow Stark approach the inert elements on the table.

"These?" Bruce asks

"Yeah, I know" Stark says "Just a bunch of jewelry. It's stupid, really"

"They're glowing" Bruce says, pointing to the no longer inert gems

"What?"

"And levitating" Bruce continues "in circles…"

"Oh" Stark says, watching the phenomenon "That's new…"

Suddenly, the gems fly up in the air, spinning faster and emitting a bright light.

"Oh, shit!" Stark says, covering his eyes "It's gonna open another portal!"

Stark waits. But nothing happens. Slowly, he opens his eyes. In the middle of the room, Bruce Pie stood, holding a glass jar with the spinning Elements safely trapped inside.

"What did you do?" Stark asks him

"I don't know" Bruce answers "I kind of… acted on instinct…"

"Good instinct" Stark says, examining the jar "Trapped in a jar… like Loki! **Glass trumps magic! **It's so obvious now! Where did you find the jar?"

"I don't know…" Bruce says "I've been… taking stuff out of thin air lately…"

"Really?"

"Really"

"Holy shit!" Stark says "You got Pinkie's '_Fuck you, Universe, I do what I want' _powers!"

"Pinkie's what?"

"Her reality warping powers!" Stark says "She can pull cannons out of her ass and other impossible shit!"

"How does she do that?" Bruce asks

"I have a theory" Stark explains "She's actually the Avatar of the Almighty God of Partying, sent to Equestria on a holy mission to purify all ponies and dance for their sins"

Bruce stares at him "That's the weirdest thing I ever heard you say"

"You're a pink pony" Stark replies

"Good point" Bruce replies "We need to study these things, see why they're acting like this"

"I'm pretty sure it has something to do with that Island of Dr. Moreau's reject" Stark says

"Obviously" Bruce says "But we need to understand how these things work, if we hope to go back home"

"Good luck with that" Stark says "There's an entire library about magic above our heads. I've read through it. But it's magic, Bruce, not science. Nothing we can do"

"I have a theory" Bruce says "By watching that blue unicorn levitating you, I gathered that magic seems to work by emanating some kind of radiation. Luckily for us, I have a PhD on that" he finishes with a proud smirk

"Bruce, have I ever said you're smarter than me?" Stark asks

"Wow, Tony, that… that means a lot coming from you" Bruce replies

"Because I'm so smart?" Stark asked

"No" Bruce replies with a smirk "Because you're so self-centered and arrogant that I never expected you to deem yourself inferior to anyone about anything"

"Ouch" Stark says. After a few seconds, both friends start to laugh.

"No, seriously, I mean it" Stark says after they stop laughing "You're so focused on your 'Hulk problem' that you don't realize how brilliant you really are"

"Thanks, Tony" Bruce says

**15 minutes later…**

"We're back" Rarity says, entering the library with Spike

They see Bruce Pie reading Twilight's magic books while examining the Elements with a microscope that Stark disassembled and then put back together again so it would be easier to use it against the jar.

Rainbow Stark is in another table, tinkering with the computer parts he took from Twilight's computers in the basement.

"What are you two doing?" Rarity asks

"I…" Bruce starts before being interrupted by Stark

"My armor is useless without a CPU and since Jarvis is not here" Stark says "I'm using this obsolete hardware to put together a **D**esperately **A**ssembled **S**ystem with **H**olographic **I**nterface for **N**avigation **G**uidance. **Dashing**, for short"

"O… kay?" Rarity says "And you?"

"He's meshing magic and science together" Stark answers

"Technically, since it can be studied, observed and replicated" Bruce says "Magic **IS **a science"

"Magic is just science we don't understand yet, huh?" Stark laughs

"Actually" Bruce says, taking his eyes out of the microscope, a huge smile growing on his face "Magic is just science **I **understand **now**!"

"Come again?" Stark says, surprised

"Magic in this universe seem to work like the Tesseract back home" Bruce explains

"The zero point extraction theory?" Stark asks

"Exactly" Bruce answers

"I'm sorry, the zero what?" Rarity asks

"Zero point extraction theory" Bruce replies "It states that, theoretically, it could be possible to draw energy from the vacuum and convert it into a usable form"

"It's how we believed our little one-color Rubik's cube did its thing" Stark complements "Imagine the whole universe is full of untapped energy, energy that you can't tap because it is, quite literally, on nothingness. Now, imagine you could harvest that energy and—"

"They don't need to imagine" Bruce says "They do it all the time. The unicorns' horns work as a natural conduit for zero point energy extraction while the Elements work as amplifiers. It's how 'magic' works! It converts zero point energy into, in its most basic uses, concussive blasts and tractor beams. With the right training and/or apparatus, you could use it to transfigure matter and even tear the fabric of reality itself!"

"That's simply brilliant, Bruce" Stark congratulated his friend "You solved it!"

"Thanks"

"How come you couldn't solve it, Stark?" Rarity teased with a cocky smirk "I thought you were the genius…"

"We all have our fields of expertise, honey" Stark replies "I'm the machines guy. Bruce is the radiation guy. It's just like you and Twilight. You're both unicorns that can do magic, but you two don't excel at the same things with it. Twilight casts powerful spells, breaks the laws of physics, teleports, and, like Bruce said, tears the fabric of reality itself. And you… well, you sew"

Rarity shoots him a death glare.

"Still, knowing how this works is not enough" Bruce say "To go back home, we need to find a way to harness and control it"

"Control what? Magic?" Steve asked, climbing down the stairs

"Oh, hey, Steve" Stark said "Didn't know you were still here"

"Fluttershy has just fallen asleep" he then turns to Rarity "Speaking of which, how's Thor?"

"He just needs to rest for a few days. Nurse Redheart says he's lucky that it wasn't anything more serious" Rarity says "Though it took quite a while to discourage her from interning 'Twilight' in the psychiatric ward"

"Right" Steve then turns to Stark "And what are you doing, Tony?"

"I…"

"He's creating a new Jarvis to complement the armor that he hasn't built yet" Bruce answers for him

"How long will it take?" Steve asks

"Well, I need to recreate a complex artificial intelligence who answers to voice and thought commands, that can maintain my suit, and navigate it through an environment that is complete alien to me and, therefore, unmapped. All that using incredibly obsolete technology" Stark says "So, about 20 more minutes"

"You do that" Steve says, marching towards the front door "I need to make the ponies of this town stand up against Discord"

"This isn't gonna work…" Stark says under his breath as Steve leaves the library

In the middle of the town's square, Steve Jack watches the ponies, waiting for the perfect time to make his announcement.

"May I have a minute of your attention, please?" Steve declares. Some ponies stop their business to pay attention to Steve.

"Thank you" Steve continues "I must inform you that Discord has been freed again and…"

"DISCORD IS FREE!" a random pony screams and the entire town explodes in panic

"Wait! If we just stick together…" Steve tries to say but nopony is listening

"WHO'S DISCORD?!" a panicking pony asks

"I DON'T KNOW!" another mare screams nearby "BUT I'M SCARED!"

"People! People! I mean ponies… Please, calm down" Steve pleads "Discord is the creature who tormented this town with complete chaos not long ago, but if…"

"OH, NO!"

"HE'S FREE!"

"CHAOS AND MISERY WAITS EVERY ONE OF US!"

"No! We can fight him if we just…" but everypony was screaming unintelligibly

"Oh, Lyra" the pony named Bonbon whines "What we're gonna do?"

"We must go to my closet and hide" the cyan pony named Lyra answered her friend

"Your closet?" Bonbon asks. Lyra nods. Bonbon understands "Oh, right. We must go to your closet… to hide… because that's what we're gonna do there. Hide"

Lyra and Bonbon scan their surroundings to make sure nopony is looking and then rush to Lyra's closet. To hide.

"Hiding won't do you any good!" Steve protests

"HE'S RIGHT!" a pony screams "RUN FOR THE HILLS!"

Everypony starts running.

"That's no use! He can catch up to you!" Steve shouts "If you start running, he will never let you stop!"

"LET'S DIG A HOLE AND JUMP IN IT!"

"Seriously? WE NEED TO FIGHT!" Steve screams

But everypony already ran to their houses, locked their doors, closed their windows and drapes, and Steve could swear he heard the sound of a piano being pushed to block a door.

Steve is left in the deserted square, all alone.

"GODDAMNIT!" Steve shouts, then looks at the heavens "Sorry for taking your name in vain"

"So, tell me cap, where are our troops?" Stark asks Steve who has just returned to the library

Steve just stares at him.

Stark sighs "I knew it wouldn't work. You ain't gonna inspire these ponies to do shit. You're not Captain America here, Steve"

"Wait, you're a captain? A real captain?" Rarity asks Steve

"Uh… yeah"

"Oh, dear Celestia! This is wonderful!" Rarity beams "I thought Stark was just joking but… A real captain! I always wanted to meet a captain!"

"You get all moisty near princes AND captains?" Stark said "My gold-digger senses are tingling"

"Tony…" Bruce gives a look of disapproval

"Wait, Captain _America_?" Spike asks "I thought your name was Steve"

"America is the name of our homeland" Stark explains "United States of America. We have 51 states. The biggest one is called Canada"

"Canada is part of the United States now?" Steve asks him

"Tony!" Bruce says disapprovingly "No, Steve. Canada is not part of the US. Tony is joking"

"Oh, right" Steve says, frowning "So we're still 48 states"

"Uh, no" Bruce says "Hawaii and Alaska both became states in 1959"

"Anyways" Stark continues "The government decided to name Steve Captain America because he's the perfect embodiment of our nation"

Steve smiles proudly

"He's as old as Uncle Sam and as boring as Baseball" Stark concludes

"BASEBALL IS NOT BORING!" Steve snapped at him

"Yes, it is" Stark said "And, as I was saying, to fight Hitler and his idea of a nationalist Aryan Race, the government dressed a blue-eyed, blonde Übermensch in the American flag. An inspiration to us all"

"So, they dressed him in your kingdom's flag?" Rarity asks "To inspire ponies?"

"We're not from a kingdom and we're not ponies, but yeah" Stark says

"Idea!" Rarity sings "Steve, darling, would you give me the honor to confect a captain his uniform?"

"Uh, sure, but…" Steve says "I'm not sure we have time to take measurements…"

"Oh, darling" Rarity dismissed it "Don't worry about that. I know Applejack's measures by heart. Just stop by at my place later to see if you like it"

"We have a problem" Bruce says "I think I know a way to neutralize the swapping effects of the Elements and harness the power within the gems, but I need tools… and open space. Lots of open space"

"I know where we can find both" Stark turns to Spike "Which way is Old MacDonald's Farm?"

"What?" Spike asks "You mean Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Whatever" Stark replied

"You follow that road" Spike pointed "You can't miss it"

"Thanks, Shorty" Stark says "C'mon, Steve, I need you to draw those big chunks of metal, plus mine and Bruce's equipment, to the ranch"

"Why me?" Steve asks

"You're stronger" Stark says "Also, the farm belongs to 'your' family. And we need to talk to them, and it's better if 'Applejack' is there with us"

"Fine" Steve sighs, and starts to push the chunks of metal to the exit "Can you take care of Fluttershy?" he asks Spike

"You can count on me, Captain" Spike salutes. Steve smiles and salutes back.

"Remember to stop by later, darling" Rarity says and goes her way to design a uniform worthy of an Equestrian Captain.

A few minutes later, Big Macintosh was busy plowing the field, when he sees 'his sister', 'Rainbow Dash', and 'Pinkie Pie' arriving on the horizon, drawing a cart full of metal and equipments.

"Hey, Happy Meal" Rainbow Stark addresses him "We need to talk to you for a moment"

"What did you call me?" Big Mac asks him, confused and slightly irritated

"Happy Meal" Stark says "That's your name, right?"

"Enope!" Big Mac said, angry "It's Big Mac—"

"Same thing" Stark interrupts him. Steve shoots him a dirty look

"I'm sorry for my friend's behavior, Big Mac" Steve addresses him "But we need to use your property to build something that may…"

"Oh, now ya need us, Applejack?" Big Mac cuts him off

"I'm sorry?" Steve says

"We were dead worried about you yesterday" Big Mac reprimands him "Look, you may have your private life, and I respect that, even if I don't approve, but you should have warned us if ya were to stay all night out. You don't have the right to…"

"Oh, fuck!" Stark says, facehoofing "I lied, okay? She wasn't having sex! I just wanted you to leave the library!"

"What?!" Big Mac says, surprised "Why? Why did you lie? Why did she stay in the library all night?"

"We were trying to solve something, we're still trying, as a matter of fact, and explaining everything to you would waste precious time. Just like now" Stark says

"Solve what?" Big Mac asks "Is there something wrong with Applejack?"

"Well… yeah" Stark replies "Kind of"

"What's wrong with her?" Big Mac asks, worried

"Look, it's not easy to explain, ok?" Stark tells him "She… uh… there's someone else inside her body"

"What…" Big Mac says, before turning shocked to Steve "You're pregnant?!"

"What? No" Steve says

"Yes" Stark quips "And you're the father"

"WHAT?!"

"STARK!" Steve shouts at him

"Tony!" Bruce reprimands him "He's Applejack's brother!"

"Like hillbillies never committed incest…"

"Tony! Shut the hell up!" Steve snapped at him

"W-what's going on?!" Big Mac asks, confused

"I'm not pregnant" Steve says "And I'm not Applejack"

"WHAT?!" Big Mac shouts, getting more confused by the second "What do you mean you're not Applejack?!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm not really your sister, Big Mac"

"She's App-El, the Last Pony of Krypton" Stark quips

"Stark! Why do you keep making Superman references?" Steve asks him

"You know Superman?" Stark asks

"Of course, I used to read all his comic books"

"Nerd!"

"You're not my sister?" Big Mac asks, tears in his eyes "What's Krypton? How come I didn't know? We used to play together... My sister... just a lie?"

"None of us are who they look" Bruce says "My name is Bruce, Applejack here is actually Steve, and…"

"I'm Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron" Stark says with a smirk

"…that's Tony" Bruce concludes "We're not from here. We ended up trading bodies with your sister and her friends. They are now in **our** world and in **our **bodies, and the only way we can prevent it from happening to any**_pony_** else is if you would spare us the barn and a little space of land for us to build our machines"

Big Mac just stares blankly at them.

"…and that's why we didn't waste time explaining to you" Stark says

"Wait, you're serious?" Big Mac asks

"Dead serious" Steve Jack says

"I… uh… this is a little too much…" Big Mac says "So… Applejack! She's okay? She's okay, right?"

"For the time being, yes" Bruce Pies affirms "But until we go back to our respective worlds, there's no way we can guarantee her safety. We trying to do everything we can to revert the effect, but we can't do it without your help"

"I'd do anything I can to help" Big Mac swore "Just bring my sister back"

"Great!" Bruce smiles "First, if you could just draw that cart of metal to the barn, so Tony could start building his suit..."

"Yes, yes" Big Mac says, strapping himself to the cart "What else?"

"Just point me to a good, big, open piece of land where I can build my machine and we're all set"

While Big Mac and Bruce were talking, Steve turns to Stark.

"You know…" he starts

"What?" Stark says

Steve pauses and turns away "Nothing"

"What?" Stark insists

"Nothing" Steve says again, frowning

"Was it something I said?" Stark asks

Steve glances at him.

"What was it?"

"It's nothing"

"Fine!" Stark gives up

"Big Mac is taking your stuff to the barn, Tony" Bruce approaches them "I will set my stuff there on the… is something wrong?" he says, noticing how upset they both look

"It's nothing" Steve says

"Steve is on his period" Stark said

"See? That's exactly the problem!" Steve snaps at Stark "You're unable to take anything serious!"

"We're in a word of talking dragons and unicorns!" Stark replies "How can you take any of this seriously?"

"You said that explaining the situation to Big Mac was a waste of time, and yet you waste our time interrupting our explanations to make some stupid joke that we in turn have to explain to him!" Steve was almost shouting "And could you please take your mind of the gutter and stop with the sex jokes? He was her brother, for Christ's sake!"

"I'm so fucking sorry for having a sense of humor!" Stark shouted "I didn't mean to hurt yours and these ponies' delicate little girly feelings!"

"Tony!" Bruce reprimanded

"Trixie was right" Steve says with scorn "You're nothing but a bully"

"Oh, so **that's** the problem!" Stark says "The great Captain Hypocrisy is friends with a bully! Oh, no! His precious image is tainted forever! If it makes you feel better, Cap, we're not friends! We're barely even coworkers"

Steve opens his mouth to talk but closes it "You know what, Stark?" he finally says "It does make me feel better"

"Steve, look, Tony didn't mean to…" Bruce starts to say

"No, Bruce, I **did** mean to" Stark says, angry "I'm tired of Gramps here with his tired '_Oh, things were so much better in the 40's than they are now. Kids today have no respect. We had honor back then. And also Nazis and cholera epidemics' _You think you're so fucking special. That you're the paragon of virtue while I'm some kind of shit that's stuck in your pixie boots. Tell you what, Rogers, I don't care how many times you punched Hitler in your little stupid USO show. You didn't earn that power. It was given to you. So, stop with your Knight in Shining Armor crap and get off your high horse!"

"Tony" Steve says, with clenched teeth "Put on a helmet"

"What?" Stark asks before receiving a powerful blow from Steve right in the face

"I warned you. Like you asked me to" Steve says, and turns to Bruce "Find a way to revert the swapping process fast, Banner. I have to go to Rarity's to check up on the uniform"

"Yeah, go play dress up with your unicorn girlfriend!" Stark yells, holding his blackened eye, as Steve goes his way without even looking back. Stark then turns to Bruce Pie "Can you believe this guy?"

Bruce just stares at him.

"What?"

Bruce sighs, shaking his head in disappointment, and turning his back to Rainbow Stark

"Oh, c'mon!" Stark says "_Et tu_, Bruce?"

But Bruce was no longer there.

Stark sighs.

_Congratulations, Stark!_

_You did it again!_

_You got the last word!_

_Totally worth it, huh?  
_

Sighing again, Stark did what he always does when he feels overwhelmed with regret, self-hatred, and any other emotional burdens: He bottled it up and went to work.

Up in the clouds, invisible to all, Discord laughed with delight.

Humans and ponies. All the same. How easy it is to ruin friendships. They're so pathetically fragile. How can they not see that?

Now, Discord knows he said he wouldn't interfere, and he didn't! That was all Stark's doing. But he shouldn't be spying on them either. It's not fair. Like he ever cared about _fair_. But, he will leave them alone now. They won't be able to achieve anything substantial in 22 hours anyway.

But, first… maybe a little tiny bit of interference…

A few miles from there, a large figure dashes through the clouds. Its speed and acrobatics, a sight to behold. But nopony was seeing her. She is alone.

She's been alone for quite some time, now.

She lands on a cloud, staring sadly at the horizon. She looks at the ground. How many bones would she break if she falls? Sometimes this kind of thoughts occurs to her. She doesn't really know why. Would she be able to fly again? Would she be able to **_walk_? **There would be nopony around to help her, to see, to care…

Who would cry for the lonely griffon?

_**"You are Gilda, right?"**_

Gilda stops her musings to scan her surroundings "Who said that? Who's there?"

The cloud in front of her begins to take the shape of a small white Pegasus with yellow-red eyes and a little fang comming from under his lip.

"Who are you?" Gilda asks the mysterious apparition.

**"Who am I? Oh, I'm nopony!" **the mysterious Pegasus said **"But you! You are somepony! You are Gilda, the wonder of the skies, aren't you?"**

"Well, I don't like to brag…" Gilda said, ready to brag "So, you heard of me, huh?"

**"But of course!" **he answers **"Every Pegasi worth their wings have heard of the amazing flying friends Gilda and Rainbow Dash!"**

Gilda's confident smile vanishes from her face "Rainbow Dash and I aren't friends anymore…"

**"Oh, that's right" **the Pegasus says **"Such a shame when a wonderful friendship like that falls apart"** The Pegasus smiles, mockingly, but Gilda doesn't notice.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter" Gilda feigned indifference "Dash has her own new friends to play with…"

**"What a very poor choice of friends" **the Pegasus continues **"She shouldn't have chosen them over you"**

"Yeah, I know, but what can I…"

**"Especially now that they have betrayed her" **the Pegasus concludes

"What?!" Gilda asks him, surprised

**"Oh, you didn't know?" **the Pegasus asks, maliciously **"The ponies of Ponyville exiled Rainbow Dash off this dimension, conjuring somepony else to occupy her vacant body"**

"What?!" Gilda was shocked "But that's so… so **_evil_**!"

**"I know!" **the Pegasus smiled **"I guess the ponies knew you would interfere with their sordid plans and save Rainbow Dash. That's why they turned her against you!"**

Gilda pauses to think and then turns angry at the Pegasus "I don't believe it"

**"I'm sorry?" **the Pegasus asks, confused

"Dash's new friends are a bunch of Lame-Os but they're not evil" Gilda said "I can't see any of them being that cruel, let alone having the guts to do it. Sorry, but I don't believe it"

**"Look into my eyes!" **the Pegasus stared at Gilda's eyes as she fell into a trance **"And you'll know it to be true"**

Back at the Sweet Apple Acres, Bruce was building his 'Containment Field' to hold and study the Elements of Harmony with tools and materials that were given to him by Big Mac, always taking a moment to look at the jar which is working as a provisory 'Containment Field'.

Bruce assembles the pipes that will lead the cables to his generator. He soon finds one of the pipes to be a little too big…

"I need to find a shorter pipe" Bruce muses to himself "Or, maybe, I should just cut it. But where is…" he stops himself once he sees three young fillies in the distance "Maybe they know"

"I'm tellin' ya, girls" Applebloom says to her friends "Pinkie is a fugitive!"

"No way!" Scootaloo replies, skeptic

"I can't believe it" Sweetie Belle says

"I'm tellin' ya" Applebloom repeats "I've seen it with my own eyes! I mean, I heard it with my own ears! She confessed everything!"

"But this is Pinkie we're talking about!" Sweetie Belle said "What could she have done to become a fugitive?"

"I don't know!" Applebloom said "Maybe she ate the whole food supply of the place she used to work before and never paid for it. Y'all know how she is"

"And she would become a fugitive just because of that?" Scootaloo asked with a raised eyebrow

"Maybe she's saving her salary at the Sugar Cube Corner to pay her debt" Applebloom says

"Oh, oh" Sweetie Belle raised her hoof "Or maybe, she's a world-famous jewelry thief who stole the crowns of many queens and princesses!"

"Oh, please" Scootaloo rolls her eyes

"Or maybe she's a spy!" Applebloom said, becoming clearly excited with all the possibilities "Wanted for all the important secrets she stole!"

"Yeah, and maybe she kills ponies and eats them" Scootaloo said

The two stare at Scootaloo in horror "Ew! That's fucking disgusting, Scootaloo!" Applebloom said

"Yeah, that's ridiculous" Sweetie Belle said "Pinkie Pie would never do that"

"It makes just as much sense as what you girls were saying" Scootaloo protests

"And how would she eat anypony anyway?" Sweetie Belle continues "Ponies are too big to be eaten"

"She would cut them up, of course!" Scootaloo says, and then puts on a creepy smile "She would cut them in little slices and serve them for other ponies to eat in the form of cupcakes! Nopony would ever know they're actually eating their friends, family, and neighbors. Mwahahaha!"

"Scootaloo, stop it!" Applebloom said "Ya are scarin' Sweetie Belle!"

"I-I'm not s-scared" Sweetie Belle stuttered "I still say that's fucking ridiculous! Ponies can't be simply cut with knives. We have bones. Hard bones. How could she cut through that, huh?"

"Well…" Scootaloo starts

"Hi, little ones"

The three friends turn their heads to see Bruce Pie smiling at them

"Do you girls know, by any chance, where can I find a hacksaw?" he asks them

The fillies' eyes widen as they scream "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Bruce cowers back, surprised "Wait, what's wrong? Was it something I said?" but the Crusaders were already running away.

"Please, don't eat us!" Scootaloo screams as she runs "Eat Diamond Tiara! She's tastier!"

"Eat you? I just need to saw off a pipe! What did you…?" but the fillies had already vanished in the horizon

"Oh, great" he sighs "Now, where will I ever find a hacksaw?" he scratches the back of his neck and then looks at his other hoof which is holding a hacksaw

"What the…? Oh, right. Pinkie's reality bending powers. I need to learn how to control this…" and so he went back to work

**Back at the library...**

Spike was busy, putting all the books back on the shelves _They take it out and never put it back. Never. It's always the dragon who has to put it all back. Every single one of them. Maybe Stark is right. Maybe I'm nothing but a sla—_

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

Spike turns to look and sees Fluttershy smiling coyly at him.

"Oh, hi Fluttershy" Spike greets her, climbing down the ladder "Didn't know you were awake. Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm much better, thank you" Fluttershy smiled sweetly

Spike blushes. Weird. He never felt like that with Fluttershy before "So… uh… could you help me with these books?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I would love to" Fluttershy said, smiling unsure "But I was wondering if you could tell me where the others are?"

"Oh, right" Spike said, a little disappointed for not receiving any help "They're at Sweet Apple Acres"

Fluttershy smiles awkwardly "Could you… could you point me the way?"

"Uh?" Spike looks at her, confused "You don't know?"

"It's my head…" Fluttershy says, holding her head in her hoof, a pained expression on her face

"Oh. Of course" Spike kicks himself internally. How could he be so insensitive? "Just follow the road, Fluttershy. You sure you want to go alone? I mean…"

"Oh, don't worry" she smiles again "I'm okay. It's just my sense of direction that is a little busted"

"Uh… okay, then" Spike says, going back to the books.

As soon as Fluttershy leaves the library, her expression changes to one of austerity.

Calmly going her way, Fluttershy takes time to study her surroundings. Observing every building, every pony, with intense curiosity. Her mind assimilates every information she receives, saving it on the back of her brain, to be used whenever it may be necessary. No matter how ludicrous the situation may be, she knows how to blend in.

"Hey, Fluttershy!"

The yellow Pegasus is taken away from her thoughts by surprise "What?" she looks at both sides but sees nopony.

"I'm talking to you, you little wimp!" Gilda lands violently in front of Fluttershy, shaking the ground "What did you do to Rainbow Dash?"

"I-I'm sorry?" Fluttershy stutters

Gilda suddenly charges, grabbing Fluttershy with her talon and holding it against a nearby wall "Don't play games with me! I know what you and your friends were planning! Tell me where you're keeping Rainbow Dash or I'll put you in a world of pain!"

"Take your filthy talon off of me" Fluttershy said, dead serious

"What?!" Gilda couldn't help but laugh "Don't tell me little whiny Fluttershy decided to grow a spine! It's a shame that that's the only part of you that grew, you stupid, pathetic, little... OUCH!" Gilda screams as Fluttershy had bitten her hard.

In pain, she lets her go, caressing her talon "You little bas—" Gilda is unable to complete her sentence because Fluttershy does a flying kick on her beak, leaving a small crack.

Before she can recover, Fluttershy grabs her tail, wraps it around her hind leg and pulls it, making Gilda fall on her back. She turns to her side, trying to get up, but Fluttershy grabs one of her talons and twists it against her back.

"Ouch! You little…"

"Look, you overgrown chicken" Fluttershy says "I don't know what you think…"

"I'm not a chicken!" Gilda yells furiously, before Fluttershy gives another twist on her arm "OUCH! I'm a chicken! I'm a chicken! Bawk, bawk, bawk!"

"Oh, please, have a little bit of dignity" Fluttershy says, releasing her grip. Gilda crawls to the side, not knowing exactly which of her many injuries to caress first "As I was saying: I don't know what you think we've done to Rainbow Dash, but if you come around me or any of my friends again with that attitude, **I **will put **you **in a world of pain!"

Gilda stares at Fluttershy, scared. That Pegasus was right! These ponies are evil! How foolish has she been! How foolish has Rainbow Dash been! She needs to do something to save her! But she can't attack them upfront. It's suicide! If that wimp Fluttershy can give her a beatdown, what are the others able to do? She needs to rethink her strategy…

"Did I make myself clear?"

"Uh… what?" Gilda asked, sweating nervously

"I said: **_Did I make myself clear_**?"

"Yes, Ms. Fluttershy, ma'am!" Gilda says, taking flight "I promise you I won't bother you anymore, Fluttershy, ma'am!"

"Good" Fluttershy watches Gilda fly in a hurry

"And my name is not Fluttershy" she says when Gilda is already far away "It's Natasha"


	12. You Wouldn't Like Me When I Party

**CHAPTER TWELVE  
**

**YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I PARTY  
**

_"HE ESCAPED?!"_ the councilman yells at Fury _"You allowed Loki to escape?!"_

_"This is inadmissible, director"_ the councilwoman said _"Your constant screw-ups are testing our patience"_

_Count to ten… _Fury thinks to himself

"We are tracking their Quinjet" Fury finally says "There's something jamming the sign, but we're still able to pick up something…"

_"Oh, you're still able to pick up_ _**something?**"_ the councilman says _"That's **very** comforting, Director Fury"_

Fury raises an eyebrow, surprised by the councilman's unprecedented use of sarcasm "Our response team will be on pursuit as soon as…"

_"We don't care about your freakshow circus, Director" _the councilman interrupts

_"Give us just one good reason why we shouldn't discharge you right now" _the councilwoman told him

"How about: We're in the middle of a crisis, and we don't have time to waste appointing a new director and briefing him, or her, about the situation until our runaway demigod is safely contained once again, or else, said runaway demigod will take advantage of our lack of leadership and organization to cripple our defenses more than they already are?" Fury answers

The council hesitates _"Give us a moment, Director Fury" _one of them says as the four screens black out and a message saying PLEASE, WAIT TO SPEAK WITH THE WORLD SECURITY COUNCIL appears.

After a few minutes, they're back.

_"Very well, Director" _the councilwoman said _"We will give you leeway for the time being, but as soon as this crisis is over you will be held accountable for the consequences created by the faulty decisions made under your command. The council will meet in private to discuss your future in this organization. I will warn you now, Director: it doesn't look good"_

"I can hardly wait" Fury replied, deadpan, and ceased the communications.

_Faulty decisions under my command… _Fury thinks to himself, as he walks towards the bridge _I wonder if they are ever held accountable for their 'Faulty Decisions'_

But then again, he shouldn't judge them so harshly on their hypocrisy. After all, let's not kid ourselves, they're on the game of hypocrisy, lies, and deceit. And Nick Fury holds the High Score on that game.

One fine example of that would be how he told them that there was absolutely no time to brief someone about the situation, and yet, that's exactly what he's gonna do: Brief three Inter-Dimensional Alien Horses not only about the situation at hand, but everything that led up to it, so they'll know what's happening, why it's happening, what they'll have to do, what they **can **do, and **how** they can do it, so they won't fuck it all up.

It's necessary to instruct these ponies before releasing them on the battlefield.

**Meanwhile, 40 miles away, 37.400 feet down, and a little bit to the left from the Helicarrier…**

On the R&D department of the Stark Tower, two bodies lie unconscious. One on a couch; the other on the floor.

The body on the floor, the one who used to belong to Dr. Robert Bruce Banner, starts to move. Pinkie blinks her (new) eyes, confused. She scans her surroundings. Why, this isn't Sugar Cube Corner!

Indeed, it isn't. She's in a completely new and strange place. And in a completely new and strange body too! What happened? Quickly, her brain comes up with three possible possibilities!

**She's dreaming! **Not likely. If this was a dream, she would be having underwater adventures as a Mermare with Major Jellyfish and his troop of Sea-Monkeys fighting the evil hordes of Emperor Grumpy Pants to discover the legendary treasure of Captain Seahorse, whose caramel ship was stranded on the Cheese Mountains of the Fondue Kingdom, guarded by a benign Spirit of the Watery Forests, played by Fluttershy making a Special Dream Cameo. Obviously.

**This is some of Discord's shenanigans! **Also not likely. Discord's Shenanigans™ are much more amusing and entertaining than this. Of course, he could be trapping Pinkie in this dull environment devoid of joy and laughter as an ironic punishment/torture. But, as diabolically clever as that would be, such display of boringness is below him and she knows it.

**This is Tony Stark's world! She's been swapped with one of his friends! **BINGO! We have a winner! **Really? What did I win? What did I win? **Nothing. **Aw…**

Pinkie Banner takes a second look at the room she finds herself in. So, this is Stark's world? Ever since meeting him, Pinkie imagined many ways of how different, alien, and exciting his dimension could be. She's disappointed. There are no dancing piñatas anywhere. The room, however, did have an atmosphere that seemed to scream SCIENCE at her: Metal tables full of unused flasks and equipment; flickering screens; glass doors; cables everywhere; etc. She would probably be fascinated, if everything wasn't so _booooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiing_!

But wait! Something catches her attention. Above one of the metal tables hovers a small ball of alluring light. Pinkie becomes mesmerized by its shine "Ooh, shiny!" as she puts it.

Pinkie approaches the small sparkle, her hoof (hand) extended, eager to touch it.

_Wait! _Pinkie stops to think _What did Granny Pie used to say?_

**_Get off my lawn!_**

_No. She never said that. What was it?_

**_Never trust a pony who likes math_**

_Hum… She did say that once… but no. It's something that she used to say to me all the time…_

**_Giggle at the ghostie_**

_Yeah, she used to say that a lot. But I don't see how this applies to the situation at hoof…_

**_For goodness' sake! Pinkamena Diane Pie, you stupid filly, DON'T TOUCH THAT!_**

_That's it!_

Remembering the valuable lesson that Granny's wise words and the 33 Near-Death Experiences she had during her fillyhood had taught her, Pinkie refrains from touching the small dot of light.

"Ha! Nice try, sparkly thingy! But you're not smart enough to trick this pony" Pinkie turns away, proud of herself. Not one second later, she turns back, giggling "Just one touch won't hurt…"

But before she's able to satisfy her 'touching' curiosity, Pinkie hears a faint moan coming from the other side of the room. She stops what she's doing and turns to look.

Near the opposite wall, resting on a sofa, lies a strange creature. Pinkie had seen her before during her first scan of the room, but her figure was so alien to her that Pinkie mistook her for an adornment of the furniture, like a big plushie. But now that she was moaning, moving, and waking up, Pinkie finally realized what that thing really was…

A NEW FRIEND!

Pepper blinks her eyes, slowly returning to consciousness. As soon as her vision turns to focus, she is greeted by the sight of Bruce Banner smiling ear from ear at her.

"Uh… Bruce?" she asks "A-are you okay? What happened?"

"YAY! You're awake!" Pinkie Banner bounces in the air "I'm so glad you're awake! Now I have somepony to talk to! This place was getting kinda boring…"

"Uh… what?"

"I said I'm glad I have somepony to talk to!" Pinkie repeated, overjoyed "I love talking! And I love making new friends! Now, I'm doing both! We should have a party to celebrate!"

"You… You're not really Bruce, are you?" Pepper asks her

Pinkie shakes her head, smiling

"I'm Pinkie Pie! You're glad to meet me! I mean, I'm glad to meet you! Heh, heh, heh. Oh, wait! I haven't met you yet! What's your name?"

"Uh… I'm Pepper" Pepper answers "Pepper Potts"

"Pepper! You're Stark's marefriend, aren't you? That's so great! I'm so happy to meet yWAIT A MINUTE!" Pinkie suddenly yells, surprising Pepper "Pepper… _Potts? _You… You… **You have the same initials as I!** **PP! **Oh, my gosh! That's so cool!" Pinkie Banner starts to bounce around the room, much to Pepper's confusion/amusement "Tony and Twi also have the same initials! Now, you are my 'Initials Friend'! I always wanted to have 'Initials Friends'! But none of my friends share my initials… It would be so funny if they did! Can you imagine? Painbow Pash, heh, heh, heh… or Pwilight Pparkle! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh wait! Twi and Dashie! They're here, right? Where are they?"

"I… I don't know, sorry" Pepper says, caressing her head _She's right. Where is everybody? _"I think is just us here…"

"Aw… Well, that's okay! We'll have party with just the two of us!" Pinkie said, gleefully "I once had a party with just me! It was a crazy party! Because I was kinda crazy too… I can't just stand and do nothing, though. So, I made up some guests and start to act on their behalf! It was so funny! And a little lonely… But that's okay! Because my friends were there to have a real party with me!"

"Uh… well, that's great, Pinkie" Pepper answered, unsure "I guess…"

"That lone party was good for something, though" Pinkie continued "It taught me that if my friends aren't available to have fun with me, I can just made up some temporary friends and talk to them! I love talking! Did I mention that already? I think I did"

"Yeah, I…"

"So every now and then I look at the mirror and talk to myself! I say 'Hi, Pinkie! Beautiful day, isn't it?' 'Sure is, Pinkie! Do you have plans for today?' 'You know it! I'm gonna make a surprise party for Stark and the girls on the library! They won't even know I'm there until everything is ready! It's gonna be great!' 'That sounds so cool! You always throw the best parties, Pinkie!' 'Thanks, Pinkie' 'Hey there, Pinkies! What's going on?' 'Oh, hi Pinkie! I'm just telling Pinkie about the party I'm gonna throw for the girls at the library!' 'Cool! Can I go?' 'I wouldn't go without you, Pinkie'"

"Uh… okay…"

"Sometimes, I give them distinctive personalities to make things more interesting! Like Pinkamena and Diane, for example! Diane is a little silly, but Pinkamena is a real pain! Don't tell her I said that!"

"I…"

"Speaking of her, I was just having an argument with her before I woke up here! She was saying that Sugar Cube Corner was lame and that it stinks! She can be really rude sometimes, I just don't know what to do with her! So, I was telling her she was wrong when I passed out and was brought here! Good thing too! Can you imagine if Mr. & Mrs. Cake caught me arguing with my reflection on the glass counters? They would think I'm crazy! Hahahahaha!"

"…"

"Don't worry, I'm not crazy! I'm just happy! Hahahahahahaha! Like the author said in the first chapter! Or should I say typed?"

"Wait, who?"

"Who are the Cakes? Oh, right! You don't know them! Duh, silly me! They're my employers! They're really nice! You should check up on them once you're swapped too! They live on Sugar Cube Corner. Ask for directions!"

"I… really don't think I'm going to be swapped, Pinkie" Pepper replies

"Heheheheheheheh… Of course you won't" Pinkie winks "As I was saying, I hope they and whoever is inside my body are getting along well. It must be so weird for them! I hope they don't think I'm schizophrenic! Hehehehehehe! That's such a funny word! Schizophrenic! Schi! Zzzzzzzo! Phrenic! So many Zs! Well, there's only one Z, but…"

"You're quite a talker, aren't you?" Pepper smiled

"Oh, yeah! I do talk a lot! I love talking! I'm pretty sure I already said that! Like twice! I don't mind! I love talking! I love talking about how much I love talking! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a mouth! I wouldn't be able to talk! Or smile! Or eat delicious cakes! What a nightmare it would be! I shudder just to think! Luckily, nopony would ever, like, erase my mouth or something! It would be so funny if somepony did! And horrible! But also funny! And horrible! I like my mouth! I like eating cakes! Not THE Cakes! I would never eat the Cakes! But I love eating cakes! I love eating!"

"Uh, Pinkie… could you… stop for a moment?"

"Oh… uh… sure… I **do **talk a lot, don't I?" Pinkie Banner smiles, embarrassed

Pepper laughs "It's okay. So does Tony. It's almost impossible to make him shut up! You two are very similar in that aspect. And in the eating aspect too. Donuts, cheeseburgers, tuna sandwiches, you name it"

"Does he like partying? Because I love partying!"

"He used to. Now, not as much. I guess he's trying to be a _'responsible boyfriend'. _Maybe trying to make up for his womanizer past"

"What's a womanizer?" Pinkie asked, curious

Pepper raises her eyebrow, smiling unsure "Uh… well… a womanizer is someone who, uh… _flirts _with a lot of girls"

"Oh, right!" Pinkie smiled "That does sound like him!"

Pepper's smile fades "What do you mean?"

"Tony was flirting with the girls a lot!"

"He was?" Pepper says, her fists subtly clenching _I f#&$ing knew it!_

"But Thor was flirting more!" Pinkie continues "Kissing everypony's hooves!"

"Kissing… hooves?"

"Yeah, like this" Pinkie proceeds to hold her own hand and kiss it, before laughing out loud at herself

"Oh, right. Heh, heh" Pepper laughs, relieved _That's what she meant by flirting. Tony wasn't flirting. He was just being courteous._

_…_

_Wait…_

_Since when is Tony courteous?_

Pepper turns to Pinkie again and finds her in the middle of another monologue...

"…hooves are full of bacteria because we walk on dirt all day and usually don't wear shoes! Or horseshoes. We actually just throw horseshoes at stakes in the ground in a very silly game that's probably very strange and alien for you. We also use them for decorative purposes. We never actually wear them! Makes you wonder why we call them shoes! Anyways, you shouldn't kiss hooves very often! It's not hygienic! But it's a nice gesture! You're sacrificing your oral health for a display of courtesy! Very noble and selfless!"

"You know…" Pepper says "After dealing with Tony for so long, I thought I had become immune to people who can't stop talking, but you… you are something else entirely"

"Yeah! I'm a pony!"

Pepper smiles "Yeah, right. Well, I guess I can't really blame you for talking a lot… This whole body-swapping/dimension traveling thing… That seems to have made you very excited"

"That's my secret, Pep: I'm always excited!" Pinkie laughs "Is it okay for me to call you Pep?"

"It's okay" Pepper smiles and lifts herself from the sofa "Jarvis? What happened? Where is everybody?"

There was no answer

"You talk to yourself too? That's so cool!" Pinkie said

"Jarvis is still not answering" Pepper says to herself "This is not good"

"You need to talk in front of a mirror for better effect!"

"No, this is not right" Pepper grabs her phone, just to find it completely cracked, probably from when she was thrown against the wall by Loki _Fuckity fuckity fuck fuck fuck _"Oh, that's just great! No communications" If there was just another way that she could send a message. Something involving magic fire, maybe. Oh, well… "Uh, Pinkie? I'll need to go out for a sec to see if I can find some way to contact someone to find out what the hell is going on. I'll be back soon, stay put"

"What? NO!" Pinkie pleaded "Take me with you! Take me with you! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!"

Pepper looks at Pinkie. God, it was so weird seeing 'Bruce' behaving in that manner (**P.P. Note: 'manner' rhymes with 'Banner'! Heheheh!**)"I'm not entirely sure that's a good idea…"

"It's an excellent idea!" Pinkie exclaimed after writing her note in the previous line "This is a new and exciting world! Sure, I said it was boring just a few paragraphs ago, but that was before I met you and realized that this is an entire new universe full of friends that I haven't met yet! I have to meet them! And they have to meet me! Also, I need to meet up with Dashie, Twi, and AJ! You can't leave me here! Pleasepleaseplease again! Let me go with you!"

Pepper sighs "Fine, Pinkie. You can come along"

"YAY! THIS WILL BE SO EXCITING AND FUN!" Pinkie Banner began to bounce in the air, overjoyed "Are you excited? Because, I'm excited! Who else is excited? Raise your hoof! A new world full of friends, wonders, and possibilities! So exciting! There's still hope for dancing piñatas! I'm excited! I'm really, really excited! I don't think I've ever been this excited! I've been close to this level of excitement, but not quite this excited! At least, I don't think I… I… I'm not feeling very well…"

Pepper turns and sees Pinkie slowly bending over, her hands tucking at her heart, which was pounding at a very high rate "Pinkie! What's wrong? I—" Pepper's question is cut short once Pinkie turns her head up, showcasing a pair of glowing green eyes.

"W-what's happening to me?!" Pinkie asks with difficulty.

Pepper knew what was happening to her. Or, at least, she thinks she knows. And it's not good. She slowly begins to step away, fearful.

"W-what's happening? T-this… this hurts!" Pinkie cried, one of her hands touching the floor for support, the floor which is subtly cracking under the pressure of her fingertips "W-where are you going? No! Please, help me! Please! It h-hurts… so much…"

Pepper is torn. Her common sense and self-preservation instincts urge her to get out of there as fast as possible, but she just can't bring herself to ignore the crying pleas of the little innocent pony trapped inside the dangerously volatile body of Bruce Banner.

"Pinkie, try to stay calm…" she says, giving a few cautious steps towards her.

"Why is this happening?" Pinkie cries, as her clothes begin to rip "Make it stop!"

"Pinkie! Please, try to fight it! You must…"

"Help me!" tears were rolling from Pinkie's eyes as she screams in agony

"Pinkie… oh, my god… Pink—"

"Why are you **_NOT HELPING ME?!_**" Pinkie roars and, with a sudden move of her arm, she hits Pepper violently, throwing her to the other side of the room, right into the small inter-dimensional rift.

Pepper screams. The rift's energy takes hold of her body, running through her very veins, intoxicating her brain, as the space-time continuum itself begins to converge at her very being. The world blacks out for a second and then flashes begin to pass through her eyes at mind-numbing speed. She starts to see things… little fragments of past events from both dimensions…

**A white unicorn falls from the skies. Her blue Pegasus friend saves her in the nick of time.**

**An armored man falls from the skies. His green monster friend saves him in the nick of time.**

**A blue unicorn in a purple hat and cape stands on a stage, boasting herself amidst fireworks. She says she's the only one able to defeat an Ursa Major and there's no one who can challenge her. That turns out to not be true.**

**A man in a red and yellow armor stands on a stage, boasting himself amidst fireworks. He says he's the only one able to build a functional Arc Reactor and there's no one who can challenge him. That turns out to not be true.**

**A Griffon and a Pegasus were best friends ever since they were little. They have a fallout. Hurt with the loss of her friend, the Pegasus finds comfort on her new friends.**

**A Sniper and a Captain were best friends ever since they were little. The sniper falls out of a train. Hurt with the loss of his friend, the captain finds comfort on his new friends.**

**Three dogs are in a cave with a white unicorn held prisoner. It does not end well for them.**

**Three Russians are in a warehouse with a redhead woman held prisoner. It does not end well for them.**

**An orange pony and a blue Pegasus have a heated argument. The pony says that the Pegasus only won because of her wings.**

**A billionaire and a soldier have a heated argument. The billionaire says that the soldier is only special because of his serum.**

**A purple unicorn refuses to take her pink friend's claim of precognitive powers at face value. She's sure she can find an explanation that conforms to her beliefs. She doesn't.**

**A scientist refuses to take a blonde stranger's claim of mythological divinity at face value. He's sure he can find an explanation that conforms to his beliefs. He doesn't.**

**A blue Pegasus is excited to finally meet her idols (though she kinda already met them before). She's ignored.**

**An agent is excited to finally meet his idol (though he kinda already met him before). He's ignored.**

**A purple unicorn refuses to use her 'special skills', afraid that her friends would hate her for it. She's left with no other choice once an Ursa Minor begins to attack Ponyville.**

**A fugitive refuses to use his 'special skills', afraid that people would be hurt by it. He's left with no other choice once the Abomination begins to attack Harlem.**

**A Princess tries to talk sense into and reconcile with her disgraced younger sister. They can rule together, she says. The sister gives her a hug and asks for forgiveness.**

**A Prince tries to talk sense into and reconcile with his disgraced younger brother. They can stop them together, he says. The brother stabs him and mocks his sentimentalism.**

**A purple unicorn sits on her bed, trying to ignore the music from the obnoxious party thrown at her behalf. She insists she doesn't need any friends.**

**A man in armor sits on a donut, trying to ignore the memories of the disastrous party thrown at his behalf. He insists he works alone.**

**A blue Pegasus shoots a red beam from her chest by, what seems to be, sheer accident. She's now the man in red.**

**A man in red armor shoots a blue beam from his chest by, what seems to be, sheer accident. He's now the blue Pegasus.**

The flashes last no longer than a millisecond, as the portal seemingly implodes, releasing Pepper and dissipating its energy in the air.

Pepper tries to recover. All she hears are cries of pain mixed with roars of fury. Her vision is blurry. She manages to glimpse something green leaping through a hole leading to the city where a wall used to be, just before passing out again. God, this better not turn into a habit.

"ARGH!"

"What's the matter?" Twilight asks Clint, as they wait for the Quinjet to land on the Helicarrier.

"Nothing. Is just…" Clint caresses his head "A sudden headache. Like someone just shot an arrow in my brain"

"Who would've guessed?" Natasha gives a pained smile "Headaches are contagious"

Clint smiles back.

Hill frowns.

"You two must report to the medical bay as soon as we land" she tells them "and you won't leave until you are in perfect conditions again"

"I _am _in perfect conditions…" Natasha protested

"No, you're not" Hill replied

"Hill… it's just a headache…" Clint tries to argue

"It's a liability" Hill insists "Look, you two are the best operatives we have, but that will mean nothing if you two are bumbling through the battlefield like you just woke up with a hangover"

"Maria…"

"It's an order, Agent Barton"

Clint stays silent, giving a simple nod of acknowledgement.

"Sweet Celestia…" Apple mumbles for the third time on the last two minutes, ever since she saw the Helicarrier for the first time through the window "I just can't believe this..."

"You'll get used to it" Twilight laughs "Or, maybe not…"

The Quinjet lands. One by one, their occupants start to exit, with Hill already ordering Clint and Natasha to go straight to the Medical Bay. No excuses! Twilight notices that Tony Dash is still on her seat, kind of rocking back and forth. She moves towards her.

"Hey, Rainbow! We already landed" Twilight Odinson says "Are you alright?"

"…not a finger not a finger not a finger not a finger _oh my gosh I touched that_ not a finger not a finger _I feel it touching my thighs _not a finger…"

"Hey, hey!" Twilight gave her a little shake "Snap out of it!"

"Uh... what?" Dash says, as if waking up from a trance "Twilight?"

"We arrived" she says "and you're babbling"

"Oh, right. Right…" Dash replies and begins to stand up

"Don't forget your helmet" Twilight says

"What? Oh, right. Right…" Dash retrieves the Iron Man helmet from the seat next to her and disembarks the Quinjet, holding it under her arm.

"Welcome aboard. Again" Nick Fury greets them as they arrive on the bridge "Where's Barton and Romanoff?"

"Agents Barton and Romanoff have been compromised, sir" Hill addressed him "They checked in the medical bay"

"Under whose orders?"

"Mine, sir"

"Very well, then" Fury replied and then turned to the ponies "What I need to discuss with you three doesn't concern them anyway"

"And what is it that you need to discuss with us?" Twilight asked him

"Hi there, I'm Applejack" Apple Rogers extended her hand for Fury to shake "Nice to meet ya face to face"

Fury looked at her hand and then at her. He finally gave her a very brief handshake and said "I'm Nick Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. As I was about to tell your friend, we need to bring you all up to speed about the situation with Loki, the Avengers and the Tesseract"

"Deputy Hill" Agent Jasper Sitwell whispered to her "We have a situation"

"What is there to bring us up to speed?" Dash asked Fury "That jerk tried to kill us all, took the cube and Dr. Selvig, and then flew away to Celestia knows where. Do you know where he's going?"

"Not yet" Fury answers "We hope to have the exact location and direction of the stolen Quinjet soon"

"Then there's nothing you can tell us about the situation that we don't already know!"

"There is **_plenty_** that I can tell you about the situation that you don't know!" Fury replied "You ponies haven't even scratched the surface of the mess you found yourselves in! That's why we need to brief you about the Avengers Initiative as soon and as quickly as…"

"I'm sorry, sir" Maria Hill interrupted "But I think you need to see this"

"What is it?" Fury asks her

"Put it on the screen" Hill tells Sitwell who complies, sending the newscast to the main monitor.

_"…only a few days ago, he was heralded as a hero by the thankful citizens of New York City for his contribution to the victory against the invading alien forces" _anchorman Ethan Edwards said _"but it seems that these accolades were given prematurely as the Incredible Hulk was seem rampaging throughout Park Avenue in uncontrollable rage" _

"SHIT!" Nick Fury exclaimed

"What's happening?" Twilight asked

_"These images from the Hulk's destructive attack were recorded just a few minutes ago by an anonymous bystander who posted it on his YouTube channel" _anchorwoman Patricia 'Trish' Tilby said before the screen started to show a shaky footage of a humungous green monster stumbling through the streets, flinging cars out of its way.

_"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" _the creature in the screen roared _"S'IL VOUS PLAÎT"_

_"Dude, did you get that? I think he spoke French!" _a voice is heard off-screen

Apple Rogers, Twilight Odinson, and Tony Dash stared at the images in disbelief.

"What… what in Celestia's name is that _thing_?" Twilight asked

"That _thing_ is Bruce Banner" Fury replied

The three ponies immediately turn their heads towards Fury, dumbfounded

"Come again?" Twilight says

"That… that monster is Bruce?" Dash asks

"That monster is what Banner turns into if he gets too angry, nervous, or excited" Fury explained

The ponies slowly turn their heads back to the monitors, watching the savage monster that was once Bruce Banner roaring incomprehensibly while leaving a trail of destruction on his path.

"Oh… my… gosh" Apple mumbles

"This is so messed up…" Dash says

"This… this was his condition?" Twilight asks, unable to believe what she has just been told

"Pretty much" Fury answers

_"Here we see a military jeep trying to intervene… unsuccessfully" _Tilby continues to narrate the coverage as the Hulk destroys the military vehicle with the soldiers running for their lives.

"So" Fury asks them "Do you girls still believe there's nothing I can tell you that you don't already know?"

Twilight shakes her head slowly, without taking her eyes from the monitor nor changing her facial expression.

"I just… this can't… I… but Bruce seemed like such a nice guy…" Dash mumbled

"Oh, but Banner really** is** a nice guy" Fury replied "The Hulk, on the other hand, tends to be a very nasty piece of work"

"Nice and Nasty… sharing the same body…" Twilight whispers to herself "Like Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon…"

"I… I tackled him…" Apple began to babble "He opened the door and I tackled him… and I yelled at him… I was makin' him nervous… he told me I was makin' him nervous… he told me to stop… he said I shouldn't make him nervous… that it's a bad idea to make him nervous… I didn't listen… I kept pushin' him… until Twilight talked to me… I almost… I… I almost… almost…"

Another explosion is shown on the screen as the Hulk roars.

Apple Rogers faints.

"Applejack!" Dash yells

"Oh, dear Celestia! Somepony! Bring her some water!" Twilight pleads

"You heard her! Bring us some water!" Fury orders some agents

"Sir, General Thaddeus Ross is on the phone" Hill says "He wants to…"

"Tell him to shove it!" Fury interrupts her

"Here, Applejack. Drink it" Twilight Odinson held her awakening friend's head so she could drink the glass of water the agents had brought them.

"Reanimate her quicker" Fury tells Twilight "We need to neutralize the Hulk before Ross and his military thugs try to make their move and turn the situation worse than it already is"

"The World Security Council is on the line" Hill says

"Pretend we lost their signal" Fury replies before turning to Apple who was already able to stand up "You better get dressed. We don't have time to waste"

"The Captain America uniform is still on repairs, sir" Hill informed

"Is it? Well, in that case, just the shield will have to do"

"What shield? The one yer director of?" Apple asks "Why are ya Director of a shield anyways? What does that even mean?"

"No. I'm talking about your shield. Or Rogers' shield, to be more precise. The 'shield' I'm Director of is this" Fury motions to the bridge "**We **are S.H.I.E.L.D. It's the name of our little organization. It stands for **S**trategic** H**omeland** I**ntervention,** E**nforcement, and** L**ogistics** D**ivision"

"That… is quite a mouthful" Twilight replies

"I know" Fury says "And that's why we just say S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Hey! Hold on a darn second!" Dash chimes in "Don't you girls see what's happening here? He's gonna send us down there to capture… _that_!"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing" Fury says, nonchalantly

"Us against **that**?" Dash repeats "You can't be serious!"

"I'm **always** serious" Fury replies with a stern look, which quickly turns into a smirk "Why, you're scared?"

_Scared? What? Of that unstoppable giant mass of angry muscles? No… I'm not scared. **I'm freaking terrified!**_

"Pfft! Of course I'm not scared! What do you think I am? A chicken?" Dash answers back, avoiding eye contact "It's just… why don't you send some of your guys down? I mean, this is your mess, not ours"

"First of all, the Hulk is everyone's mess. Second of all, sending soldiers his way will only make him angrier" Fury says "The only way to stop him is to make him calm down. A couple of friendly faces may help that. Now, let's get moving. I'll brief you on the way"

"_…all hands on deck. This is not an exercise…"_

"There seems to be some commotion" Clint says, lying on his bed in the medical bay, after hearing the intercom "I wonder what we're missing"

He turns to Natasha and sees that she's fast asleep.

He sighs. He feels tired too, but he doesn't want to close his eyes. Something on the back of his mind tells him that if he does sleep, he just might not be himself once he wakes up.

He turns aside to look at a door on the other side of the medical bay. The access to that door is restricted. Very few know what's behind that door. Some agents speculate it's some kind of secret weapon or experiment. Why is it on the medical bay though? Beats them. But Barton is security Level 7. He knows exactly what is behind that door. Clint smiles to himself. Laughing at their little private joke. He then faces the ceiling, trying not to fall asleep.

_Little creatures running away. Little creatures afraid of Pinkie. Pinkie not afraid of little creatures. Little creatures little. Pinkie big. Little creatures can't hurt Pinkie. Pinkie can hurt little creatures. Pinkie can't hug little creatures because Pinkie hurts little creatures. This makes Pinkie sad. No. This makes Pinkie angry. Pinkie wants to hug. But creatures not want be hugged. Pinkie frustrated. Pinkie lots of things. Pinkie especially big. Pinkie likes being big but not when Pinkie makes potential friends afraid of Pinkie. Pinkie likes explosions though. Explosions fun._

A news copter follows the trail of destruction left by the green goliath. Inside it, reporter Chess Roberts is ready for her big break as her crew is ready to go live.

"_…with Chess Roberts on the sky" _Chess listens to her cue

"Hi, Ethan" Chess begins her report "We are now flying above Times Square where the Hulk seems to be oddly awestruck by his surroundings. The streets in the area are deserted, thanks to the citizens being notified of his rampage. This would be a perfect opportunity for the National Guard to do their move. There is, however, no sign of military or even police forces anywhere. We have yet to receive any kind of information about why the military is not intervening"

_"I've contacted the National Guard Commander and told him to stand his troops down so our team, that is you, could take care of the situation" _Nick Fury informs the ponies over the radio "_Remember: the key to detain the Hulk is to make him calm down. He has the mentality of a very aggressive five year old. Do not attack him unless you deem it absolutely necessary"_

"Understood" Twilight answered the radio

Sitting next to her on the Quinjet, Apple Rogers was wearing a spare S.H.I.E.L.D. agent uniform, flipping the red, white, and blue shield on her hands. It's a nice shield, she thinks, very nice indeed. On the seat across her, Tony Dash sat in full armor, except for the helmet which was on her lap, as she keeps tapping on it nervously.

"Ya okay?" Apple asks

"Uh… sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Right…" Apple replied, unconvinced

"This _television _thing is magnificent!" Twilight exclaimed, holding the tablet showing the newsfeed of the Hulk's rampage "News being updated on the spot! With image and audio! Oh my, if we could bring this kind of technology to Equestria…"

"Yeah, it would be wonderful" Dash cuts her off "Now, if you're done geeking out, could you turn the volume of that thing up, so we could know what's going on?"

"Oh, right. Sorry" Twilight said, and turned the volume up

_"…the Hulk seems to be staring at us. God knows what's going through his head at this moment" _the voice of Chess Roberts came from it "_I just hope he doesn't throw a car at us, or something… can we fly this thing higher? Just to be safe"_

The Hulk squints at the helicopter.

_Stupid flying machine following Pinkie. What they want? Nopony follows Pinkie! Only Pinkie follows ponies! Pinkie not like flying machine!_

The Hulk turns around, looking for something to throw at the flying machine… a car, perhaps, but something catches his attention: the Jumbotron, which was broadcasting the news. The Hulk couldn't hear anything, because the Jumbotron doesn't have speakers, but he could watch it… Some stupid-looking green monster in the middle of some street.

_Who's stupid looking green monster? Pinkie no like stupid looking green monster! Monster green and stupid looking! Monster…_

The Hulk seems to notice that the monster is copying his movements…

_…monster is Pinkie!_

This realization seems to make something _click _inside the hulking creature's child-like mind. The Hulk falls on his ass, laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHA! PINKIE SILLY! PINKIE MONSTER! PINKIE LOOKS FUNNY! PINKIE LOOKS GREEN!" the Hulk then looks at the helicopter, then back to the Jumbotron, then back to the helicopter again "HEY! FLYING MACHINE FILMING PINKIE!" the Hulk begins to wave at the news crew "HEY THERE! LOOK WHAT PINKIE CAN DO!"

_"The Hulk seems to be waving at us, Ethan. I think he wants our attention" _Chess Roberts tells her anchorman _"He stopped waving. He… Ethan, I'm not sure I can trust my eyes, but I believe the Hulk is tap dancing"_

Apple, Dash, and Twilight all raise their eyebrows at the news.

"Uh… the Hulk is tap dancing" Twilight says on her radio "Is that normal?"

"_…no" _Nick Fury answered with a little hint of confusion on his voice, something that is very rare for him.

"Then why he's acting so…" Dash starts to say, before realization begins to creep in "…**_random?!_**_"_

Apple and Twilight's eyes open wide as they begin to realize it too. The three friends look at each other before turning back to the screen.

_"He's now doing somersaults" _Chess Roberts continues her coverage

"**PINKIE!**" the three yell in unison

"YAY! THIS IS FUN!" the Hulk laughs "PINKIE JUGGLE TOO! WANT TO SEE PINKIE JUGGLE? PINKIE GRAB PUNY METAL CARTS AND… And… and… Pinkie feel weak…"

The Hulk feels his strength slowly fading. His vision blurs. Mildly panicking, the Hulk looks at his surroundings. He sees something that seems familiar to his confused brain.

_Trees… woods… Everfree Forest… HOME_

Using all the strength he has left, the Hulk leaps towards his new destination.

_"The Hulk is on the move! He looks wounded" _Chess Roberts says _"He's going up the 7th Avenue. I think… I think he's moving towards Central Park! Yes! He's entering Central Park now! He… he... the trees! We lost visual! He's trying to hide. A little hard for someone like him, but it appears he's succeeding. We'll be patrolling the area for any sign of him. Back to you, Ethan"_

"You need to bring us to this 'Central Park'!" Twilight told the Quinjet pilot after she finished watching the news

At Central Park, a young couple is taking one of the traditional Central Park carriage rides. The man fancies himself lucky. Thanks to the recent events, the rides' fees decreased. Now, before you call him a cheapskate, remember: The economy wasn't exactly wonderful before a bunch of aliens blew up part of New York, and it sure isn't running smoothly now that they did. Plus, they may even see, during their ride, one of those dead giant space snakes if they haven't all been cleaned up by now. Chicks dig dead giant space snakes.

Suddenly, the woman points forward "Honey, look!"

Ahead on the road, a shirtless, shoeless stranger with his pants in tatters, was lying down, breathing heavily.

"The poor man!" the woman says "He looks like he's been through hell! Let's stop to help him"

"What?! Are you crazy?!" the man protests "We don't know this man! He could be dangerous! What if he tries to mug us?"

"He looks like he's just been mugged himself" the woman replies "He could be a survivor of the attacks who just now managed to dig himself out of the wreckages. It's at these times of need that we should exercise our solidarity"

"I… but… fine" the man sighs

"Coachman" the woman says "Please, stop so we can talk to that poor man"

"The one that is waving frantically at us?" the coachman asks, pointing to Pinkie Banner who's now up, waving and bouncing, a huge smile on her face.

"Hey! Hey! Over here!" Pinkie yells

"He seems a little bit… _cheerful _for a homeless guy, don't you think?" the man says

"He learned to keep his spirits up. It's encouraging" the woman replies and then turns to Pinkie "Hello, my friend. What happened to you?"

But Pinkie didn't pay attention to her. She'd rather talk to the horse that was drawing the carriage instead.

"Hey, there! I didn't think I would find another pony here! This is so great!" Pinkie said to the horse "Say, you're a big guy! Are you related to Princess Celestia?"

The horse just stares at her.

"Oh, you're the quiet type, aren't you? It's okay. Fluttershy is quiet too and we're great friends!" Pinkie says "I know I can sometimes be a little too forward and that that can be a little intimidating. But trust me, you have absolutely no need to be shy around me!" Pinkie winks and giggles

The coachman and the woman stare at Pinkie, bewildered. The man can't hold his laughter anymore.

"BWAHAHAHA! Are you… are you related to _Princess Celestia_? BWAHAHAHA! This is priceless!" the man turns to the coachman "What is this? Some new feature of the ride? This is all an act, right? Because it's brilliant!"

"Sir, I swear" the coachman said "I don't know this man. I have no idea what's going on"

The horse begins to sniff Pinkie, curious. She blushes and smiles uncomfortably.

"Oh… Heh… you… you're kinda invading my personal space there…" she says "Then again, I tend to invade other ponies personal spaces all the time too… so… I guess it's okay if you do too… I mean…"

The horse then licks her face.

"Ew! Pervert!" Pinkie cries, slapping the horse in the face

The horse neighs and prances, startling the passengers and the coachman

"He… he just SLAPPED the horse?!" the man says, alarmed

"You should be ashamed of yourself, mister" Pinkie reprimanded the horse "Just because a girl is nice to you doesn't mean she's hitting on you! What would your mom say?"

"This hobo is crazy! Get us out of here!" the man yelled to the coachman, who nodded and whipped the horse which dashed off with the carriage, leaving Pinkie Banner behind.

"Wait! Don't run away! I didn't mean to be rude! I know making friends can be hard for some ponies but, if we just talked a little longer, I'm sure we could work things out! You look like a nice pony! You're even kinda cute!" Pinkie yells but the horse and carriage were already far away "Call me!" she shouts as a last resort.

"There she is!"

Pinkie turns her head to see three men moving on her direction. One was blonde with armor and cape. The other was black-haired in a red and gold (with a little bit of grey) armor, holding an also red and gold helmet on one hand. The last one was blonde like the first one, wearing a dark blue jumpsuit and carrying a red, white and blue round shield with a star on the center.

"Yay! A costume party! Can I join? Can I join?" Pinkie Banner jumps up and down "I don't have a costume though… oh, wait! Yes, I do! I'm costumed as 'Not A Pony'! Heheheheh!"

"It's her alright!" Dash says to the others before turning back to Pinkie "Are you okay, Pinkie? Are you hurt? Do you feel sick or…"

"Hey! You know my name! That's great!" Pinkie says cheerfully, but then squints suspiciously "Wait… how you know my name?"

"Pinkie, it's us!" Dash says "Twilight, Applejack, and me, Rainbow Dash!"

But Pinkie keeps her suspicious stance.

_Okay, Pinkie _she thinks to herself _No time for fun & games now. This is important. These creatures claim to be your friends._

_Do you believe them?_

_a) __Yes_

_b) __No_

_c) __Chocolate_

"Chocolate!" Pinkie Banner said, cheerfully "Definitely chocolate!"

Dash, Apple, and Twilight exchange confused looks "I'm sorry, what?" Dash asks

"I pick C!" Pinkie replies "Now, gimme some chocolate!"

"Uh… we don't have any chocolate, Pinkie" Twilight says

"Aw… Oh, well, what you're gonna do?" Pinkie shrugs "Nice to see you girls again! Even though you're boys now! Heh heh heh! How's it going, Applejack?"

"Uh… I'm Twilight" Twilight answers and then points to Apple Rogers "She's Applejack"

"Oh, ok. Sorry. Heh, heh, silly me" Pinkie laughs "So, anyways, you girls are going to a costume party, right? Can I come too?"

"No, Pinkie. I'm afraid we don't have time for a party" Twilight explains "We need to come back to the Helicarrier so we can be instructed and proceed to locate and pursuit Loki"

"Ooh…" Pinkie says, intrigued "That sounds fun! Can I play?"

"Pinkie!" Twilight says "This is not a ga—_Oh, what the hay_. Yes, you can play"

"Yay!" Pinkie cheers "I pick Dashie to be on my team!"

"Yeah, alright" Twilight says "Now, let's get going to the Quinjet, so we can return to the Helicarrier and start our '_game_'"

As they go their way, Dash turns to Pinkie.

"So… you're sure you're alright?"

"I'm great!" Pinkie answers "Why? You're not feeling alright?"

"What? Me? No" Dash laughs "I'm fine. Especially now that we didn't have to fight you"

"Fight me?" Pinkie asks, confused "Why would you have to fight me?"

Dash looks at Pinkie _She doesn't remember anything… Good. It's better that way _"No reason, Pinkie. No reason" Dash smiles

"You're all so silly!" Pinkie laughed "Hey! Did you girls know I met another pony in the park just before you arrived?"

"No, we did not" Apple answered

"Yeah, he was tall, strong and brunet! I think he really liked me! He liked me a little too much… then again, he ran away, so I guess he didn't like me **that** much… He was sending a lot of mixed signals... Oh my gosh! I just realized I never got his name! Darn it, Pinkie, you idiot! It's because of stuff like this that you're still single!" Pinkie frowns at herself, but then laughs "Ha! What I'm talking about? How can I be single if I have you girls with me?"

"I still can't believe that she was that thing" Apple whispered to Twilight "I mean it's so… so… **_incredible_**! How's it possible?"

"I know" Twilight whispered back "but we all saw it"

"I don't know" Apple replied "I still find it hard to believe…"

Now, this is the part where some readers may say: 'Oh, c'mon! They're from a land where dragons feed off gems and burn letters so they can be magically transported and restored on some horse Prince's castle, so she can read about someone else's friendships for some reason! Why would they find the Hulk hard to believe? It's just as fantastical as anything else in Equestria! Hell, if anything, the Hulk is actually more plausible than all that retarded shit!"

That's a very common and understandable complaint/opinion/point of view. It's also very wrong.

You see, you're taking an outsider point of view. Everything in both the Avengers and My Little Pony worlds requires that the audience accepts that certain things we know to be impossible can happen. So, we automatically assume that the **_characters_** should also accept that. Except that no, they shouldn't. The Nightmare on Elm Street characters accept the existence of Freddy Krueger, because that's a normal thing for them: it's part of their reality. Santa Claus, while just as fictional and fantastic, does not. So, if Old Nick arrived in Springwood delivering presents on his magic flying sleigh, the characters would be totally justified in saying 'WTF?' because his existence does not agree with their perception of reality, even if that perception may already be ridiculous in itself for outsiders (us).

Let's take another example: Let's say you're a character in a 1960's comic book set in the 'futuristic 21st Century'. Your cousin (another character in the comic) comes to your house and says he turned his bathtub in a time machine using old computer parts. You, obviously, say that that's ridiculous!

Now, this would be the part where those 60's readers would say: 'Oh, c'mon! They're from a future where little computer-phones can give you all kinds of information just by sliding your finger randomly in its completely flat glass screen, so you can throw birds at pigs and play with a useless fake lighter for some reason! Why would they find the Bathtub Time Machine hard to believe? It's just as fantastical as anything else in the 2000's! Hell, if anything, the Bathtub Time Machine is actually more plausible than all that retarded shit!"

So, I hope we can put the 'Arbitrary Skepticism' Fallacy to rest.

"Look, sis! Iron Man, Thor and that shield guy are escorting some homeless dude"

Apple, Dash, Pinkie, and Twilight turn their heads to see two siblings pointing at their direction.

"He must be either very important or very dangerous to be escorted by the freakin' Avengers" the girl said to her younger brother

"Take a picture! Take a picture!" her brother tells her

"Hey, look!" Pinkie said "New friends! I think they want to talk to us! Let's go!"

"Pinkie! No! Wait!" Twilight pleaded, but Pinkie was already skipping happily towards the confused duo

"Who wants a hug?" Pinkie cheers

Seeing Pinkie charging at her direction, the girl did what every sensible 20 something female New Yorker would do if a half naked hairy strange man came running, asking if you _'wanted a hug'_: **Tase the fuck out of him!**

"Ooh, what are tho—AWERGH!" Pinkie is unable to finish her inquiry about the little flying electrodes as said electrodes hit her central mass, leaving her jerking on the road

"Oh, no! Pinkie!" Apple cries

"Back off, you creep!" the girl says wielding her Taser gun. Not one second later, Pinkie Banner pulls the wires, taking the Taser gun out of the girls' hands. The gun falls on Pinkie's hands, who crushes it on her clutch to everyone's shock.

"You… hurt… PINKIE!" Pinkie raises her head, her eyes glowing green with anger (and gamma radiation) "NOW PINKIE HURT **_YOU!_**"

"Oh, God" the girl gasps, protecting her little brother behind her back

"Ya two get out of here!" Apple yells and they comply

"Why you hurt Pinkie?" Pinkie moans, trying to fight back against the transformation… and losing "Why would anypony hurt Pinkie? Pinkie just want hug"

"Pinkie" Dash tries to approach her. _Gosh! She's turning green! _"Pinkie, can you hear me? I…"

Her mind fogged by the pain, the change, and the anger, Pinkie can't hear what she's saying. All she hears is noise. _And noise pisses the Hulk off_!

"RAWRGH!" Pinkie-mere-seconds-away-of-becoming-the-Hulk roars and backhands Tony Dash away.

"Rainbow Dash!" Apple and Twilight cry in unison

"Ow… I think it's about time I put my helmet back on…" Dash says, dizzy

Twilight and Apple turn back to watch, in horror, as Pinkie's body begins to grow larger and green. With every little convulsion, Pinkie cries and roars, as the painful transformation keeps going, until the once small figure of Pinkie Banner had fully turned into the massive figure of the Hulk, much to her friends' astonishment.

"Holy sh…" Dash, with her helmet on, mumbles

**_"PINKIE SMASH!"_**

_"It's amazing, Ethan!" _Chess Roberts on the sky reports to the station _"We have just caught the Hulk transforming on tape! The man who turned into the Hulk after what appeared to be a sexual assault attempt is, as of yet, unidentified. We still have no clue about what lead the Hulk to attack the city. Let's hope that the rest of Avengers can put a stop to their colleague's rampage. Back to you"_

"Incredible" Trish Tilby says "Who would've thought that the Hulk would turn rogue so soon after defeating the alien armada that threatened our beloved city?"

"Honestly, it's not that surprising, Trish" Ethan Edwards says "The Hulk is a mindless beast prone to equally mindless destruction. He simply smashes anything he sees. And the first thing he saw was, of course, the nothing subtle attack of those particular alien troops in Manhattan. I mean, frankly, it's no wonder they failed. Coming all out? Spray-and-pray? Trying to show off and get as much attention as possible? That's not how you invade a planet! To be truly successful, an invasion must be subtle, **secret**. You must begin infiltration years in advance! Slowly putting agents on positions of power in the government, the military, and the media, so once they're all ready, a wave of panic, mistrust, and misinformation will be created to make the planet ready for seizing. And the stupid natives wouldn't even notice it was happening. Of course, I would never expect the Chitauri to be competent enough to pull off that perfect strategy for they lack the sophistication and finesse of the glorious Skrull Empire"

"Uh… what? The Skrull Empire? Chitauri? What are you talking about, Ethan?" Tilby asks

"Uh… Those are just two hypothetical alien races I made up on the spot to illustrate my point" Ethan answered "Yes, that's it. They're totally hypothetical, fake, made up, and not real. At all"

"Oh. Okay then" Tilby says "Just one thing, though: in this 'secret invasion' you proposed, how would the aliens be able to infiltrate among humans? I mean, they kinda stand out in a crowd"

"Oh, but you see, Trish" Ethan says with a smirk "The completely hypothetical aliens in question happen to know how to alter their form"

"Oh. You mean, like **changelings**?"

"NO!" Ethan yells "I mean like **shape shifters**! Changeling is a very derogatory term and I take offense in it! I mean… I _would_ take offense in it if I was a shape shifter. Which I'm not… and neither is Kate Middleton"

"Sorry, I… wait… Kate Middleton?" Tilby says

"Exactly!" Ethan smirks "Impersonating a beautiful female of the dominant species so she can convince a prince to marry her and infiltrate local royalty is standard shape shifting invasion procedure. You always target monarchy first because, differently than other government models that experience only temporary leadership changing every other election, monarchic systems are long-lived and hereditary, so our infiltrated agents can have influence in the kingdom for eons, thanks to whatever cross-species offspring they have with the royal blood. It's also important to never directly try to impersonate the big leader, the Queen in this case, for whatever important decisions she makes will have everyone's attention and can compromise the whole mission. You need to infiltrate a 'lower tier' of the royal family so you'll have less influence and, therefore, less chances of being busted, but still enough insight on what's happening inside the palace. Of course, that's all hypothetical! Ha, ha! There is no such thing as shape shifters impersonating brides in royal weddings! Not in this planet, or any other planet, or even any other dimension! The whole idea is so absurd! The concept of shape shifters in itself is so ridiculous, impossible, and unreal! Like Bathtub Time Machines! That's how inexistent shape shifters are!"

"Wouldn't the Hulk technically count as a shape shifter?" Trish asks "I mean, he basically…"

"SHUT UP, HUMAN!"

**WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES**

**PLEASE STAND BY**

"WHERE'S SHOCK GIRL? PINKIE SMASH SHOCK GIRL"

The Hulk begins to flip all the cars parked on the street, searching for 'shock girl'.

"Sweet mother of Celestia, what we're gonna do?" Apple asks out loud

"Whatever we do, we mustn't attack her until we have no other choice" Twilight says "We need to try to calm her down"

"But she's gonna destroy everything!" Apple insists "We need to stop her somehow!"

"We need to talk to her" Dash says, and with that, flies on Pinkie/Hulk's direction.

"Hey, Pinkie!" Dash says "You need to stop! Please!"

The Hulk looks at her. The Hulk then throws a car at her.

"WHOA!"

"_Executing evasive maneuvers" _Jarvis says, as the Iron Man armor swiftly moves away from the flying automobile which turns into a neat new wall adornment on the building behind Tony Dash.

"Pinkie, please! Stop!" Dash pleaded "This is not like you!"

"PINKIE NOT STUPID! PINKIE KNOW PINKIE NOT LIKE THIS!" Pinkie/Hulk roared "PINKIE WAS PINK, LITTLE, AND CONJUGATE VERBS CORRECTLY! NOW PINKIE GREEN AND BIG! NOW PINKIE SMASH!"

"Pinkie, please listen…"

"PINKIE GIVES NO FUCKS ABOUT FLYING TALKING RED CAN!" the Hulk roars again "PINKIE SMASHES CAN FOR RECYCLING!"

The Hulk grabs Dash by the leg, and smashes her in the ground.

"Ouch" Dash moans as she turns and sees, through her visor, the Hulk's foot read to crush her head "Whoa!"

Instinctively, Dash turns the repulsor thrusters on her boots on, flying away from the Hulk's stomp which cracks the asphalt. Dash turns back, hovering near the Hulk's face. She opens her faceplate.

"Pinkie, please, we're not your enemies. We're your friends! We're a team: Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, remember?"

"Rainbow Dash?" the Hulk asks, seemingly calmer

"Yes, Pinkie" Dash said, relieved for being recognized "It's m…"

**_"DASH RHYMES WITH SMASH!" _**the Hulk roars, and punches Tony Dash sending her flying through the air and into a building.

"Rainbow Dash! How dare ya?!" Apple yells and out of instinct, anger, impulse, and an '_I'm the only pony allowed to hit Rainbow Dash_' attitude, she threw her shield at the Hulk.

"Applejack! No!" Twilight Odinson screams "We need to avoid conflict!" but the shield already hit the Hulk in the face and ricocheted back.

_Wait a darn second! Why the hay did I throw the shield? SHIELDS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THROWN! _Apple thinks to herself, before the shield bounces back, hitting her right in the face, causing her to lose some teeth and some consciousness.

…or that is what WOULD have happened, if she, by virtue of being in Steve Rogers' body, didn't have Super Soldier reflexes and didn't catch the shield right before it could hit her face, without even noticing it was coming back at her.

"Whoa…" Apple says, surprised at her own feat

"AJ THROW STUPID FRISBEE AT PINKIE!" the Hulk roars "NOW PINKIE SMASH AJ!"

"No! Pinkie, stop!" Twilight pleaded "Applejack didn't mean to…" but the Hulk wasn't listening, charging right towards Apple Rogers

Apple gasps and crouches, hiding behind her shield, scared. Just waiting for the fateful moment when she'll go from Applejack to apple sauce…

KLANG!

That's it. It's over. She's dead. Her only regret is not being able to say goodbye to her family and friends… Well, that and throwing her shield at the Hulk's face.

KLANG!

Wait, what? Again?

KLANG! KLANG!

Are those the bells of pony heaven or something?

KLANGKLANGKLANGKLANGKLANGKLANG….

Apple opens her eyes. She's still alive! She peeks over to see the Hulk relentlessly punching the shield over and over with no effect. This is a good shield, she thinks, this is a very, very, very, very good shield

"WHY PINKIE NO SMASH FRISBEE?" the Hulk roars "FRISBEE MAKING PINKIE FRUSTRATED! PINKIE ANGRY!"

"Ya don't say…" Apple says from behind the shield

"AAAARRRRGH!" with his eyes glowing green again, the Hulk stops punching the shield, and decides to grab it instead, with a single hand. Pulling it over in the air, with Apple being carried too, he throws shield and pony against a surprised Twilight.

"Ooof!" air escapes from Twilight's lungs as Apple and her shield collide with her.

"Ouch…" Apple moans and lifts herself up "Twilight, are ya alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Twilight says as Apple helps her stand up

They barely have time to recover when the Hulk breaks a fire hydrant off the sidewalk and throws it at Twilight's face, who staggers backwards. Before Apple can see if she's okay, the Hulk puts his feet over the pressured stream of water that came from the hole where the hydrant used to be, directing it towards Apple Rogers who's knocked back by the pressure.

Twilight looks at the barely conscious Apple Rogers. She touches her nose. It's bleeding. She's lucky she is in an Asgardian's body so that a nosebleed is the only injury she's sustaining. Had Pinkie thrown that hydrant at Applejack, who knows if she would have survived it? Pinkie is out of control. And she's dangerous. Really dangerous. Nick Fury said that they should avoid fighting her unless it was absolutely necessary. Well, Twilight supposes, it appears that that's the case.

_"Ma'am… ma'am? Ms. Dash, please wake up"_

Tony Dash wakes from her trauma induced stupor to see two young children, a boy and a girl, staring at her.

"Uh, what? What happened? Where am I?" Dash asks, sitting up

"You're in our room" the boy said

"You made a hole in the wall" the girl points

"Really? Did I fly through it?"

"_You were **punched **through it, Ms. Dash" _Jarvis said "_Your encounter with the Hulk, I'm afraid, was less than amicable. I've already taken note of this family's residence information so Stark Industries can pay for the damages later on"_

"Hey, you're Iron Man, right?" the little boy asks "The real one?"

"Uh… but of course!" Dash thanks Celestia that those kids can't see her bad poker face through the helmet "Who else would I be?"

"Told ya!" the girls tells the boy

"That's so cool!" the boy says "Mr. Iron Man, we are your biggest fans!"

"Oh, are you now?" Dash says, smiling

"Yeah! I have all your action figures!" the boy grabs some dolls (ACTION FIGURES!) from inside a toy chest and shows it to Dash "Look!"

"Ooh, nice!" Dash plays with one of the dolls (ACTION FIGURES!)

"I have a scrapbook" the girl shows a notebook full of news clippings of Iron Man. Dash looks at it, amazed. Wow, Stark really is loved around here.

"We made a drawing of you!" the boy says, holding a drawing of Iron Man fighting what looked like some kind of giant flying snake. _Those kids have such imaginations _Dash thinks, smiling _Giant flying snakes… what's next? Bathtub Time Machines?_ "Hey! Do you think you could sign it for us?" the boy asks

"What? You mean, like an autograph? Sure" Dash grabs the drawing and a pencil "How are you two called?"

"My name is Louise" the girl says "But everybody calls me Lou"

"I'm Scott" the boy says

"Alright. 'To My Biggest Fans, Scott & Lou…'" Dash begins to sign the drawing

"_Hello? Hello? How does this stupid thing works?" _Apple's voice comes from the radio inside Dash's helmet _"Rainbow Dash, can ya hear me? Where are ya?"_

"Hey, Applejack" Dash answers her radio "Yes, I can hear you. I'm just signing some autographs"

"_Signing autographs?!" _Apple's next few curse words were muffed by radio static "_I was dead worried that ya were hurt and yer **signing autographs**?!"_

"Yeah, why? Is it a crime?" Dash asks annoyed "Besides, you shouldn't worry. I'm not hurt. Wait… I'm not hurt, am I?"

_"A minor concussion" _Jarvis answers _"Nothing too severe"_

_"GET YA BUTT OVER HERE!" _Apple yells _"We need ya!"_

"Fine! Fine!" Dash says and finishes her autograph "Sorry, kids! Gotta go" she flies away

"That was so awesome!" Lou says "The girls at school will never believe I met Iron Man!"

"Well, we have the autograph to prov… wait a minute!" Scott says "He signed '_Rainbow Dash'_! And he misspelled our names as '_Scoot & Loo'_!"

"Hmm" Lou mumbles, disappointed "…he's probably drunk"

"Yeah…" Scott sighs

Back at the streets of New York, Dash witnesses Twilight Odinson and Apple Rogers fighting the Hulkified Pinkie Banner.

"About time ya came back!" Apple yells, while dodging the Hulk's furious attacks

"What's going on?!" Dash asks "I thought we weren't supposed to attack her!"

"Yeah, well, the plan changed" Twilight, who was blocking one of the Hulk's punch with her arms, said (she was quite thrilled about discovering her new Asgardian strength, by the way. Made her feel more useful) "Dash, your armor has more firepower than us! You need to detain the Hulk before he causes more damage to the city!"

"But…"

"Now, Rainbow!" Twilight yells, while jumping and kicking the Hulk in the chin. The Hulk gives a few steps back, slightly disorientated

"PINKIE HATES TWI NOW!" the Hulk then roars "PINKIE WON'T INVITE TWI FOR PARTIES ANYMORE!"

Twilight dodges the Hulk's attack in the nick of time.

"Rainbow Dash!" Apple yells, urging her to do something

"Alright! Alright! What do I do?" as if answering her question, the plates of the armor open up revealing all sort of weapons, locked and loaded at the Hulk "What the…?"

_"Arsenal ready. Target acquired" _Jarvis informs _"Waiting firing command"_

"What are ya waitin' for?" Apple says "Shoot!"

"I… I… I can't" Dash says "That's Bruce… and that's Pinkie too! I can't bring myself to hurt them… any of them…"

"She's hurtin' **_us_**!" Apple yells "And she's gonna hurt a lot of other folks too if we don't stop her now!"

"We just need to calm her down…" Dash says "If we just talked to her…"

"We tried that!" Apple yells again

"THEN TRY HARDER!" Dash yells back "I'm not gonna attack her! She doesn't know what she's doing! There's gotta be a way to calm her… something… anything…"

_"The way I see it, Ms. Dash" _Jarvis says _"You only have two courses of action available to you. You either attack the Hulk as your friends are urging you to or you back off, hoping that he would revert back to Bruce Banner soon. I would warn you though, that it can take hours for the Hulk to revert back to his normal state **without **interference, and, I'm afraid, the probabilities that there will be no interference of the military or others are microscopic. The Hulk then would probably run away and we wouldn't be able to localize him, at least not in time to pursue Loki. So, inaction, while favorable in your emotional perspective, could result in additional collateral damage and, very likely, in your friend waking up in some other country, not knowing how to come back or how to contact us. I can't decide for you, Ms. Dash. It's your choice"_

Dash bites her lip. This is not a choice. This is torture.

_Well, Dash, what are you going to do?_

_a) __Attack your best old friend and best new friend wrapped in one, which will probably just piss her/him even more._

_b) __Nothing. Don't attack her/him. Let her/him go so she/he can destroy even more stuff, hurt even more people, and vanish into the horizon to get lost and never be seen again._

_c) __Chocolate_

That's when it clicks.

"Chocolate!" Dash says, as if having an epiphany "Definitely chocolate!"

_"I beg your pardon?" _Jarvis says, as confused as a computer can be

"I pick C!" Dash said, smiling "Now, gimme some chocolate, Jarvis"

"_Chocolate, ma'am?"_

"It will calm her down, Jarvis" Dash explained "Please, trust me on this"

_"The nearest chocolate store in your current location is the Lindt Chocolate Shop at 692 Fifth Avenue" _Jarvis replies "_I'll show you the directions"_

"Alright! Let's go!" Dash says, as all the weapons go back inside the armor "Hang on, girls! I'll be back soon!" and she flew away

"WHAT?!" Apple yells, dumbfounded

"Where the hay is she going?" Twilight asks

The Hulk takes advantage of Twilight's distraction to hit her with a traffic light post.

Twilight gets a little dizzy. The post breaks in half.

"Hey!" Apple shouts and throws her shield at the Hulk's face (again)

**_"PINKIE HATES FRISBEE!"_** the Hulk roars **_"PINKIE MUST SMASH FRISBEE!"_**

"Come and get it then" Apple taunted, grabbing the bouncing shield back

The Hulk gets ready to punch her into the asphalt, but Apple dodges, jumping into and then running up the Hulk's arm, stepping on his face, and shield-bashing the back of his neck, before falling and rolling back in the ground.

Furious, the Hulk made a sound reminiscent of the Tasmanian Devil.

"Oh, keep it quiet, ya big oaf" Apple says "And while yer at it… Give us our friend back!"

The Hulk's answer comes in the form of a fist coming down on top of Apple, who blocks it with her shield.

With the Hulk unceasingly pounding the shield, Apple becomes trapped under it with nowhere she could possibly move.

He would keep going, but a traffic light box hits him in the head. Angrily, he turns around, and sees Twilight waving at him.

"Pinkie! Stop, please!" seeing that fighting it wasn't bringing any results, Twilight tries to reason with it again. It may be too late for that though "Look what you're doing! I know you're still in there somewhere… That there's still a part of you who despite of all this anger, all this rage, all this… whatever it is that turned you into this thing… I want to believe that there's still a part of you that can see that what you're doing is wrong…"

"PINKIE NOT WRONG! PINKIE RIGHT!" the Hulk steps forward, menacingly "MEANIES HURT PINKIE SO PINKIE HURT MEANIES!"

"I'm sorry we attacked you, Pinkie. We were just trying to defend ourselves" Twilight says and calmly puts her hands up "I ain't gonna hurt you anymore, see? No weapons, no 'Frisbees', nothing that I could use to attack you… I'm clean"

The Hulk stares down at Twilight "GOOD!" he says and then punches Twilight so hard that her body breaks the asphalt.

The Hulk is ready to give her another punch while she's still dazed, maybe to put her down for good, when he hears someone calling his 'other name'…

"Hey, Pinkie!" Tony Dash appears on the sky carrying a bag with her "Over here!"

The Hulk turns and roars "PINKIE NOT WANNA TALK! TALK BORING!"

"But Piiinkiiiieee…" Dash says with a teasing voice "I brought chocolate…"

Suddenly, the Hulk's expression changes and a huge smile appears on his face "CHOCOLATE?! PINKIE WANT CHOCOLATE! GIVE PINKIE CHOCOLATE!"

"Ok, but first you need to calm down…" Dash says

"CALM DOWN BORING! GIVE CHOCOLATE NOW!" the Hulk starts to get angry again "GIVE PINKIE CHOCOLATE OR **PINKIE SMASH**!"

"No, Pinkie! No smashing!" Dash says in a 'disapproving mother' tone "I won't give you chocolate unless you stop smashing"

"BUT PINKIE LIKES SMASHING! SMASHING FUN!" the Hulk protested "PINKIE SMASHES EVERYTHING! PINKIE DONE NOTHING BUT SMASH EVER SINCE PINKIE GOT HERE! PINKIE MAY HAVE ADDICTION PROBLEM!"

"Well, then we should do something about it, shouldn't we?" Dash says "That's why we're here, Pinkie. To help you stop smashing, so you can go back to being that sweet, fun pony we all know and love. Right, girls?"

Apple, who was helping Twilight stand up from the little hole in the asphalt, turns at Dash and says "What? Oh, yes. We just want our old Pinkie back"

"See?" Dash says

"PINKIE NO NEED INTERVENTION! PINKIE CAN QUIT WHENEVER SHE WANTS! FRIENDS SHOULD MIND OWN BUSINESS!"

The Hulk smashes a nearby parked car as if to emphasize his point "NOW GIVE PINKIE THE FREAKIN' CHOCOLATE"

"Pinkie, I'm very disappointed at you!" Dash says, reprovingly "You shouldn't treat your friends that way! We're just trying to help!"

"NO! REAL FRIENDS NOT ATTACK PINKIE! REAL FRIENDS GIVE PINKIE CHOCOLATE! YOU NO PINKIE FRIENDS! PINKIE HAS NO FRIENDS!" as soon as those words come out of his mouth, the Hulk stops. His shaggy hair falls down, straight, and his eyes begin to tear up "P-Pinkie… PINKIE HAS NO FRIENDS! BWAAAAAH! NOPONY LOVES PINKIE!" the Hulk sits down, and cries on his hands

The three friends exchange uncomfortable looks. Seeing that giant pile of muscles bawling his eyes out was heart breaking.

"Oh, Pinkie… Ya know that's not true" Apple says "We're yer friends. We love ya"

"Yeah" Twilight agreed

"NO! EVERYPONY HATES PINKIE!" the Hulk kept sobbing "EVERYPONY PINKIE MEETS RUN AWAY OR TRY TO HURT PINKIE! PINKIE WILL DIE LONELY AND UNLOVED!"

"Unloved? Pinkie, please!" Twilight says "Everypony, I repeat, everypony loves you. I don't think there's a single living pony who's as loved as you"

The Hulk didn't answer. His sobs, however, seemed to become quieter.

"Darn, Pinkie, you're breaking my heart" Dash said, opening her faceplate "Here, take the chocolate bag. It's yours"

"No! Pinkie no want chocolate anymore!" the Hulk turns his head away, then quickly turns back and puts the entire bag into his mouth. After swallowing it, he cries again "PINKIE ASHAMED! PINKIE SORRY PINKIE HURT FRIENDS! PINKIE LOVE FRIENDS! PINKIE PROMISE TO CHANGE!"

And she does.

To every_pony_'s amazement, the Hulk begins to shrink, to **_change_**, slowly turning back to the fragile, and weary figure of Pinkie Banner.

Pinkie lifts her head, a sad and regretful expression on her face "Did… did Pinkie hurt friends?"

Apple, Twilight, and Dash all look at each other, a tired little smile on their faces "Yeah, but nothing Dashie, AJ, and Twi couldn't shake off" Dash says, winking at her

Pinkie gives a brief, little smile.

"Does Pinkie feel calmer now?" Apple asks, smiling

"Yes, much calmer" Pinkie smiles back

"And can Pinkie use pronouns again?" Twilight asks, raising an eyebrow and smiling

Pinkie giggles "Yes. Yes, she can" her still straight hair then puffs back to normal "I'm so happy we're friends again! C'mon, girls! Group hug time!"

Pinkie stands up, her arms engaged in 'Hug Mode'. Her pants, however, were unable to survive the strain of two Hulk transformations and dropped dead on the ground, revealing, for everypony to see, Pinkie's brand new gender-defining attribute.

Twilight and Apple blush. Dash closes her faceplate, points and screams.

"NOT A FINGER! NOT A FINGER! OH MY GOSH! **_IT'S STILL BIG AND GREEN!_**"

"What?" Pinkie asks, and then looks down "Oh, look! I have a penis!"

"**_You know what that is?_**" Dash asks, still mid-panic

Pinkie Banner raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms "Dashie, please. I wasn't born yesterday"

"Wait…" Twilight turns to Dash "That's the _'finger in the middle of our legs'_ that you told me about? You really didn't know what that was?"

"I… uh…" Dash began to blush, luckily they couldn't see it because of her helmet "…maybe?"

"Oh my gosh! Seriously?" Twilight said "Didn't your parents had **'The Talk'** with you?"

"What parents?"

"Ooh, I'm feeling chilly" Pinkie rubbed her arms "Hey, look! It's shrinking!"

"**I DON'T WANT TO LOOK!**" Dash covered her eyes

"You've never seem a penis before, have you?" Twilight asks

"Have_ you_?" Dash asks back

"Well, yeah… I mean, on my books… anatomy 101"

"I DON'T READ BOOKS!" Dash yelled "I especially don't read books about penis! Gross! What's wrong with this world? Why are… _those things _just **dangling** out of the body? Why aren't they kept inside like in normal, modest ponies?"

"Heh, heh, Dashie, you're so silly" Pinkie giggles

"AUGH! I SAW IT AGAIN!" Dash covered her helmet's eye openings with her hands

Twilight rolls her eyes "Rainbow Dash, I don't want to sound rude but **grow up!**" she then ripped her cape off her shoulders (hoping that Thor doesn't mind) and moved towards Pinkie "Here, Pinkie. Cover yourself with this"

Pinkie complies, wrapping herself with Thor's cape, while Dash, against her self-control and self-respect, took one last peek.

"Heh, heh. I'm feeling so regal!" Pinkie laughed

"This is just a provisory solution until we can find you some clothes" Twilight says

"Why do I need clothes?" Pinkie asks "I mean, yeah, I was feeling kinda chilly, but…"

"They wear clothes all the time here, Pinkie" Twilight explains

"Really?" Pinkie asks

"Yeah, I used to wonder why… **now I know**" Dash says

"Rarity would make a fortune here!" Pinkie says with a smile "Hey! I know! I bet Pepper has a lot of clothes back at her place!"

"Ya met Pepper?" Apple asks

"But of course! She was there when I… oh my gosh!" Pinkie gasps "Pepper! She was near me when I went green!"

"Is she hurt?" Twilight asked, worried

"I don't know!" Pinkie answered "I don't remember!"

"Jarvis! Is Pepper okay?" Dash asks him

_"I… I'm afraid I don't know, Ms. Dash"_

"What do you mean you don't know?" Dash replied "She's in the tower and you're basically the tower itself!"

"_Whatever Loki did to my programming disabled me from being in two clients at the same time" _Jarvis explains "_When I downloaded myself into the suit, I was no longer in the Stark Tower mainframe. Until I find the error and fix it, I'm afraid I'll need to be physically uploaded back to the main server to run the Stark Tower again"_

"And you only told me this now?" Dash asks "This is the kind of stuff we should know in advance! What if she's hurt?"

_"I'm deeply sorry, Ms. Dash"_

Jarvis was a very advanced computer, but he wasn't perfect.

Despite all his amazing advancements, he wasn't human. He still relied on protocols and commands, like any computer. If there wasn't a protocol for it, if nobody gave him an order, then there was nothing that he could, scratch that, there was nothing that he _would _do. That's why he didn't warn Stark about Stane when he paralyzed him and stole his Arc Reactor or why he never warned anyone about Mr. Stark's predicament while he struggled to reach the spare reactor, almost dying on the floor. Stark had only installed security protocols on his workshop area, and he never made a protocol for what to do in case he was about to die, since Tony, until that trip to Afghanistan, was always so sure of his own immortality.

Stark was never overly concerned with security, so, by consequence, neither was Jarvis.

But now, it's not Tony and his Devil-May-Care attitude that may be in jeopardy thanks to Jarvis' lack of protocol enforced oversight. It's Pepper…

Computers can't feel regret.

Jarvis can.

"Never mind, Jarvis" Dash sighs "I'll go see if Pepper's okay. Meet you girls in the Helicarrier"

"No, **we**'ll meet **you** at the tower" Twilight says "We too want to see if Pepper's alright and we still need to get Pinkie some clothes. From there, we go to the Helicarrier together"

"Fine by me" Dash says "See you girls there" and with that she flew away.

"I hope Fury doesn't mind our little detour…" Twilight says to herself

**At the Helicarrier's Medical Bay…**

Clint is still staring at the ceiling. Clint is still afraid of going to sleep. Clint is still bored to death.

That's when he hears a soft little moan coming from Natasha's bed. _She's waking up_, Clint thinks, gets out of his bed, and pulls a chair to sit near Natasha.

"Hey, Tasha" Clint says "You're awake? How do you feel? You're feeling fine?"

Without opening her eyes, Natasha smiles softly and says "Yes, I'm feeling much better, thank you"

"You're welcome" Clint smiles "You need something? Water or…"

"Oh, no. You've done a lot for me already" Natasha says, her eyes still closed "I don't wanna be a bother…"

Clint raises an eyebrow _Tasha doesn't talk like that _then again, she went through a lot these last few days "Bother? Tasha, please, you know me. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you"

Natasha smiles again "I love you, Steve" she moans

"I'm sorry,**_ what?!_**"

Natasha then opened her eyes, fully awake, her face turning red "Oh my. D-did I say that out loud? I-I didn't mean to…" she stops once she turns and sees Clint, her face turning pale and her pupils dilating.

"Uh, Tasha? Are you…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…" Natasha screams, pushing Clint out of her way, and running out of the Bay.

"Ouch. Tasha, wait!" Clint says, but she was already gone

"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…" her screams could be heard throughout the corridors

_What the hell is wrong with her? I've never thought I would see Tasha panicking before…_

Clint moves toward the exit of the Bay, but before he can make it, Natasha appears past it again, running on the opposite direction, flailing her arms around.

"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

On the bridge, Nick Fury caresses his temples. This mess after mess shit is taking a toll on him.

_"…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…"_

_And all this screaming is not helping his headache!_

"What the hell is going on in there?!" Nick Fury shouts, and goes inside the lower levels of the Helicarrier. Down there, he is presented with the sight of Natasha Romanoff running in panic, towards him

"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Natasha stops on her tracks when she sees Fury "AH! A PIRATE!"

"What?!" Fury yells, as Natasha threw herself in the ground, cowering in fear

"P-please don't hurt me, Mr. Scary Pirate" Natasha stuttered

Fury looks inquiringly at Clint who has just arrived in the aisle, almost out of breath.

"She… she woke up like this, sir" Clint answered Fury's silent question, catching his breath.

Fury looked at Natasha again and asked "What's your name?"

"F-Fluttershy, Mr. Pirate, sir" said **Fluttasha**

"I'm not a pirate"

"So, she's one of them ponies now?" Clint says "How? She didn't touch the portal!"

"We'll have time to figure that out later" Fury says "Now, we need…"

"_Director Fury, sir?" _Maria Hill interrupted through the radio _"Do you copy?"_

"Yes, Hill. What is it?" Fury says

"_I think we've just pinpointed Loki's location and direction"_

"And?"

_"You're not gonna like it, sir"_

**At the tower…**

Dash was giving the now awake Pepper a glass of water, when Twilight, Apple, and Pinkie entered the room.

"Oh. There you are, girls" Dash greeted them

"Hey, Dash" Twilight greeted and then turned to Pepper "Are you okay, Pepper?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Pepper smiled "I just a have a few bruises and a headache"

Pinkie feels guilty "I'm sorry, Pep…" she apologizes "I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay, Pinkie. Now I can get myself an 'I've survived the Hulk' T-Shirt" Pepper joked

Pinkie giggled

"Speaking of shirts" Twilight says "Do you have some clothes that we could use? Pinkie, well, you know…"

"Sure! Tony and I have plenty of spare shirts and pants on our room" Pepper gesticulated with her arm "Go ahead. Knock yourselves out! I'll stay here for a while"

"Thanks, Pep" Pinkie said as she, Twilight, Apple, and Dash moved towards the bedroom.

Before entering the room though, Twilight couldn't help but notice that the rift was gone. What could have happened to it? Well, it's probably better this way…

On the bedroom, Pinkie was rummaging through the piles of t-shirts on Pepper's drawers, had already put on the first pair of pants that was given to her (as Dash had begged her to do). Wow, Pepper had a lot of funny t-shirts. Each one nerdier than the other…

**'I Lost an Electron''Are You Positive?'**

**3.14 Is But a Slice of Pi**

**Don't Let Gravity Bring You Down**

**C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN**

**Friction Is a Drag**

**Bromine Osmium Before Holmium Einsteinium**

**Physicists Do It With Charm**

Pinkie finally finds one that she really likes. Even though she really liked the other ones too.

"Hey, what you girls think of this one?" Pinkie showed them the shirt

**There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don't**

Twilight giggles. Apple and Dash tilt their heads confused.

"I don't get it" Dash says

"Me neither" Apple says

"It's actually quite clever, girls" Twilight begins to explain "You see…"

"The binary code is a numerical system consisting of rows of zeros and ones assigned in strings or 'bits' of eight binary digits" Pinkie said "Each combination of these strings can represent a letter, as regulated by the **E**questrian** S**tandard **C**ode for **I**nformation **I**nterchange, or a number in octal, decimal, or hexadecimal notation. In the joke in question, the number 10 actually translates to 02 in a binary-hexadecimal table, so the sentence actually reads that there are only two, not ten, types of ponies in the world: Those who understand binary, and therefore the joke, and those who don't"

Apple, Twilight, and Dash, stare at Pinkie, their jaws slacked with surprise.

"Pinkie?" Twilight says "How… how did you know all that?"

"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma" Pinkie answered with an expressionless face. A few seconds later, she giggles "Heh, heh, milk"

"This is stupid!" Dash protested "What's the point of telling a joke that nopony understands?"

"It's not that _nopony _understands, Rainbow" Twilight says "It's only that a _few _ponies, those who are knowledgeable about the subject, get it. It's a niche joke"

"It's pedantic elitism!" Dash, who had a very good vocabulary for somepony who never read a book, said "I'll say it right now: People and ponies who make jokes that you can only understand if you know binary are nothing but stuck up idiots who think they're way more clever and funny than they really are. That's right! Whoever makes binary jokes is a stuck up idiot!"

Before Dash could continue fighting for the laughing rights of the less knowledgeable, Jarvis interrupts them.

_"Director Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. wishes to talk to you. Should I put him on?"_

"Hey! Is that my conscience?" Pinkie asks, after hearing Jarvis for the first time

"Hey, Jarvis!" Twilight said "You're back at the Tower mainframe!"

"Yeah, he connected the armor back to the server while I waited for Pepper to wake up" Dash says "He says the glitches are fixed now. We'll take the call, Jarvis"

"_Glad to see you're all **mostly** okay" _Nick Fury appears on the bedroom's screen _"We have some news for you bunch. First, I need you all to come back to the Helicarrier"_

"But what about Pepper?" Twilight asks "Can we leave her here alone? I mean, we're not even sure if she's really okay…"

_"You need not to worry, Ms. Sparkle" _Jarvis says _"I'm contacting Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes. He will be arriving soon to keep Ms. Potts company"_

"And who's that?" Apple asks

"_Colonel Rhodes is a jet pilot and Aerospace engineer of the US Air Force, and former liaison of Stark Industries with the Sector of Weapons Development"_ Jarvis answered "_He's also Mr. Stark's best friend"_

"Oh, ok" Apple said "Ya could have saved us some time if ya started with that last part, don't ya think?"

"Huh. And here I thought Bruce was his best friend" Dash said

"So? He can't have more than one best friend?" Pinkie asked, and then hugged her friends "Why, I happen to have five!"

Somewhere, a Sitcom live audience just went '_D'aww_'

Nick Fury frowns "Is there something about Dr. Banner you three aren't telling me?"

"Uh… I… I thought we had told you, but…" Twilight says

_"He was swapped too, right?" _Fury says

_"WHAT?!" _Clint's voice is heard on the background

"Yeah… meet Pinkie Pie" Twilight introduced her

"Hi!" Pinkie cheered "Hey! Are you a…"

**"__****I'm n**ot a fucking pirate!"

"Oh, okay… gee, sorry"

"The pirate doesn't like when we call him a pirate, Pinkie" Dash whispered to her

"But I was gonna ask him if he was a spy!" Pinkie replied

"_Banner's a pony too?!" _Clint says off screen "_Shit! This means I'm next, doesn't it?"_

_"This brings me to one of the news I had for you" _Fury ignores Clint _"Agent Romanoff was, too, swapped with a pony. She's called Fluttershy. I take that you know her?"_

"Fluttershy?! Yes, of course!" Twilight says "How is she?"

_"She's fine" _Fury says _"She's back at the Medical Bay, drinking some tea for her nerves…"_

_"Hey! Who else is left in your group?"_ Clint chimed in _"Who's gonna be swapped with me? Please, say is someone manly… or at least not too ladylike! Maybe someone with a gender neutral personality, yes? Yes?"_

The four exchange glances before Dash begins to say "Well…"

**_"FUCK! I'm so fucked!"_**

_"Get a hold of yourself, Barton!" _Nick Fury pushes him out of the way, so he can talk to the friends again "_Now, for the other news: We located Loki"_

"Great!" Dash says

_"No, not great" _Fury says _"Great would be if I had a capable team to deal with him. Great would be if he had never escaped to begin with. I used to have three geniuses on my team. Now, two of them were replaced with equine aliens of average intelligence and the third one is brainwashed and helping the enemy. Again"_

"Hey! Whose intelligence you're calling average?" Dash yelled

"Oh, I know! I know!" Pinkie smiled "It's mine and Dashie's, right?"

"When you put things that way it does sound kinda bad…" Twilight mutters

"Oh, c'mon, guys! It's not that bad!" Pinkie says "You know what I always say: As long as there is ice cream, there is hope!"

"What… Pinkie, you never said that!" Twilight points out

"Well, I said it now!" Pinkie laughs and hops toward the kitchen "Don't worry girls, I'll bring us hope!"

_"Anyway…" _Fury says, after Pinkie left the room _"We need you here more than ever. We must begin your briefing of the full situation ASAP"_

"Alright, then" Twilight said "We'll be on our way"

"_Good. Over and out" _Fury said and the screen turned off

"Oh, no! We're out of hope!" Pinkie's voice came from the kitchen "Oh, wait. Nevermind. Found some hope behind the 'Frozen Fish Sticks' whatever that is"

* * *

**Author's Notes (Please Read):**

**I apologize in advance for the delay the next chapter will most certainly have.**

**You see, the next chapter will be a _little _different... Rather than being about the Mane Six or The Avengers, the entire chapter will be centered around** **C**ertain** M**inor** C**haracters** that have no freakin' idea of what's going on, but will go to (relatively) great lenghts to find out.**

**So, since the chapter will be about an outside point of view of events yet to happen, first I need to map out said events, so I won't fuck up the fic's continuity.**

**This fic's summary is 100% true! I have no idea where I'm going with this! I only know who'll be swapped with who and a faint idea of how I want it to end. Everything else is pretty much done on the fly. So, now, for the first time ever on this fic, I'll have to plan many events ahead and in what order, making sure I won't add anything in the later "normal" chapters that contradicts what the next chapter will present.**

**It's gonna be a challenge, and it's gonna take a while, but I think it's gonna be worthy it.**

**See you there.**

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